Funniest lines from the parts counter

Sunday, local "parts store" counter conversation:

Me: I need a 7/16x20 lug nut.
Counter Kid: What's that?
Me: Er, you know, the nuts that hold wheels on. Simple thing. 7/16" diameter by 20 threads per inch...
CK: What car is it for? I need the year, make, and model so I can look it up in the computer.
Me: ... Uh, yeah, ok. Make it a '69 Chevrolet. Camaro. And don't ask what engine size, it doesn't matter, it's a lug nut.

Sigh. On the bright side, he did find that they had Camaro lug nuts in stock.

 

Do you need some fuel injector cleaner?

My car does not have injectors.

Sir all cars have injectors, they won't run without them.......

 

Yesterday , O'reilly's.... older [like me] counter man ...me: I 'd like a fel pro 1206 intake set... him: what's that fit ? me :Brodix heads on a small block chevy ... We don't have them.... me: 'puter says you have 2 sets in stock. him:I wouldn't know where to look..... me: how about hanging on the wall behind you.... SHEESH !!
dave

 

To illustrate a point....

 

Haha. I like that picture. Oh the possibilities. Lol

Having worked the parts counter I'm normally pretty patient with inexperienced counter people. What pisses me off is when they just say "no" or "we don't have that" without asking for help.

 

Another youtube parts counter video.
There must be some pissed off counter guy making all these videos. Haha

 

Went to my local NAPA parts store today. Asked the guy behind the counter for coil springs for a 1967 Nova. He looked at me with a deer in the headlights look and said " What kind of car is a Nova? " I think I'm getting old...

 

As I recall the latest-last Novas (late 80s-early 90s?) were rebadged Toyotas. Chances are your counterman wasn't even born before the last Nova was sold.

 

i had a guy come in a couple days ago looking for a part for the Holley carb on his 1963 Corvette....said he absolutely needed it TODAY , could not wait to order it

i somewhat know the guy and he had showed it to me many years ago...the funny part is he has owned the car since 1968 and it has never left his garage , he has never driven it

 

Back in the 80's I needed a needle and seat, [when you could get just that], for a 72 Impala 350 2bbl, 2gc. The 'new' counterman looked for it in a paper catalog but couldn't find it. He told me it must be an ' odd ball!' The c-man next to him pointed in the catalog to it and he goes 'Oh'.

 

When I got out of the Army in the late 60's, I took a mechanic job at a Dodge dealership where the parts guy would mess with you without you even knowing it,,,,,at first. He wanted 'year, make and model.' When you came to the counter with all 3, he'd think of something else he needed, like seat cover color or something stupid like that. When I came back with the info, he'd have the part setting there. "thought you needed this''. Talk about being had !!!

 

Talk about headache, I have a car with clutch AND torque converter it's a semi automatic transmission ...

 

Last week at Autozone

Me: I need a tube of feathering disc adhesive
Counter punk: Never heard of it
Me: (to myself) Now there's a well with no bottom. (to him) It's for orbital sanders. 3M makes it. Look in the 3M catalog.
Counter punk: (without looking) We don't have any.
Me: Have a nice day ( walks to car, goes to other parts store, buys feathering disc adhesive)

 

When my buddy worked at the counter we played jokes on other customers quite often. With the showroom full of people it was hilarious to have a conversation something like this:

Counter: Hi, how may I help you (pretending he does not know me)
Me: I need spark plugs for my ´89 Dodge Ram
Counter: What's the colour of your vehicle?
Me: It's black
Counter: Sorry pal, we only have plugs for blue Dodge
Me: Ok thanks (then just walk out)
Counter: Next please...

The faces of other people were priceless so many times

 

I was at the bolt shop in Perth. At the counter was the usual half dozen roughneck tradesmen and construction guys , swearing and cursing and slouching over the counter . The place suddenly went quiet and everyones posture improved when in walked two of the most stunning girls I'd seen came in and asked for some long screws.

 

Was at the local napa. Guy next to me asks for 5 gallons of exhaust fluid. I start cracking up inside thinking muffler bearings must be next. Counter guy says no prob and comes back with 5 gallons of exhaust fluid!!! Got schooled. Damn new diesels!

 

Was in my local Napa the other day guy comes in wanting valve cover gaskets for his big block s10 not that uncommon here . Counter man comes out with a set of big block Chevy cover gaskets. The man says those are to big goes out and gets an old one form his car it for his big block 4.3 lit v 6

 

Back in the late 50s,we liked to play jokes on customers also...One guy comes in and asked for a can of white-wall tire paint.(Yes,it was available ) but I asked " what size tires?" he says"670x15" I tell him we are out of that size,all we have left is 710x15..He just says "Thanks" and walks out...
We also taped a big long sheet of paper on the inside of the entry door.with a heading at the top "BE BACK LIST"
and when a customer asked the price of one of his desires,and says.OK,I'll be back...We would tell him to be sure and sign our BE BACK LIST on the door.......Good old days long gone

 

Haha, that's what would happen at our store. ANY woman would walk in and everyone would rush to help. Must have been because women rarely went into the store. Yes, the bar would go way down in the store as far as women were concerned.

We had a somewhat regular customer who was a cross dresser. Everyone would "escape", it was usually the new guy that didn't know what was going on that would get stuck helping him(her?)

 

had to get a 5/8 drive belt yesterday , walked in told the counter guy the size of the belt , my normal guy was like working on a flathead??? I was like sorta ... it was a belt for the deck drive on my mower ... the old Kohler is a flathead ,

 

Yes my dad was a mechanic in the local Chevrolet dealer at the time, They called them Chevotas or the one I prefer Toy-o-lets.

 

We don't have parts for a Model A with a 327 CI engine. HRP

 

Had wheel stud broken by a local Tire shop, they were paying to have the stud fixed...felt bad for repair shop doing work..I was waiting. took B*$t&R Auto Parts four tries on 7/16" wheel stud for 1960...sent 1/2" three times. The repair shop got fed up sent the broken stud..bingo..that's not what the computer shows...even when the counter person was told 7/16 three times...The autozone next door didn't even have wheel stud in the store...

 

Two days ago at Auto Zone
Counter girl: Help You?
Need a 12 volt non electronic, three terminal signal light flasher.
CG: Year make and model?
Just show me where the flashers are hanging and I will get one.
CG: We keep a lot of our bulbs behind the counter cuz people steal them alot.
Bulbs? Not looking for bulbs. Need a flasher.
CG: What's that?
The thing under the dashboard that goes Clicka, Clicka, Clicka, that makes the light blink!!!!!
Counter guy at next register Aisle 7 I think.
Nothing there except electronic and dual terminal
Counter Guy: Year make and Model
As I was on my way to the door "1963 Borgward Isebella"....

Always leave them with something to think about.

Today at NAPA. I hand the counter guy my list

2 each 1 1/2 inch exhaust clamps
4 each 1 1/4 inch hose clamps
1 each 5/8 inch hose clamp

He returns to counter with
2 each 1 1/2 inch hose clamps
4 each 1 3/4 inch exhaust
Box of 10 7/16 in hose clamp

Uh, did you read the list?

Yea, this was all I could find.

You sure? Yea our truck comes tomorrow.

Hi! Welcome to ACE
Hi! Hose clamps?
Aisle 11
Thanks.

Ace is the place, they even had the exhaust clamps......

 

"Hey can I help you find something"

I always chuckle "probably not"

 

Ha, I was just looking at Isabellas online the other day. The coupes are pretty cool. Not many original parts on my American Bantam, which is usually parked outside, but if they want to know what vehicle I need valve stem caps for that's what I tell them.

 

I had to google these. lol

feathering disc adhesive
12 volt non electronic, three terminal signal light flasher

 

I had a great NAPA right by work, but they closed up that store. So I'm going to another one. But they seem to be out of whatever I need. Ridiculous items line an EC-104 (Echlin push plug) for my brake light switch. But we can get it in 2 days for $14.50 each. Hated to tell him that I can get them online for $3 for the pair in 2 days.

 

Saturday I am trying to plumb the front brake calipers on the Austin. They are from Speedway and are GM Metric. Long story but I found a brake hose at the parts store by guessing 1985 Monte Carlo that would work perfectly but of course it is metric. I get the hoses plus a 3/16 hard line with metric fittings. All good for now, but at some point I will need to get back to standard fittings before the master cylinder. I mention that to the counter guy who says they have no metric fittings and no way to adapt from metric to standard. Before I can interject he calls to another counter guy and ask how he did the same job on HIS race car. What followed was a detailed account of what salvage yard, 15 miles from town has a ton of S-10 Trucks. It was hard to find and there are lots of snakes because it is kind of swampy down there. He went on for several minuted about how the S-10 has a proportioning block that is metric going out and standard in etc. He said it only took about 30 minutes to find one and get it off.. .........blah, blah, blah. Finally when he was finished I said how about just selling my a 3/16 standard Male fitting for double flare. I will just cut one end of this line off, put the standard fitting on and double flare the line again. There was a long period of silence from the other side of the counter followed by this little tidbit: "Well that will work if you want to go to all that trouble."

 

Baddooom-tish!!!!