Folks Of Interest no response / no courtesy

I skimmed a little bit because of a time constraint, so if I'm echoing any earlier posts, my bad.
I think the "texting habit" is largely to blame. I don't own a mobile phone so it's the 'email way' or 'no way' when dealing with me. But I can spot the texters in a New York minute by their abbreviated messages. They are accustomed to sending one question (maybe two) and getting a reply in 60 seconds. I get contacts all the time that I believe should be asked or given options that depending on the answer of yes/no, up/down, US/Metric, etc/etc...... leads to another question, which will lead to another, 'til what I'm hoping will arrive at a total answer/solution. If I send a thought-out list of questions (or answers, or options) most of the time the booger eater is only able to reply to one thing at a time.
If you don't also answer/reply immediately in 5 words or less, you are rebooted from memory. It won't occur to them that they are being discourteous because you are dead to them.

 

Thanks for so many responses. Most of you are correct. we live in a different time than when we grew up. I was taught respect from a very young age, and I taught my 5 children the same way. I'm sorry to say that my grandchildren are not as respectful as they should by. At least now that my wife and I live in a small town, ( Shippensburg, Pennsylvania ) there is a lot more of the old ways here than there was in New England. Please and thank you are something that we hear much more often. Thanks again for your comments.

 

Basic dignity and politeness should a given. That can be taught.

Respect is earned. That cannot be taught.

What many mistakenly believe respect is, is blind obedience to doctrine.

 

What kind of bird was it?

 

For the most part my interactions with HAMB folks have been from good to GREAT but one person and I were negotiating on trading some Studebaker parts, then suddenly his wife had some health problems and that was the last I heard from him. He is a frequent "poster" on here.

 

My grandfather used to say,
"There is nothing new under the Sun, and there is nothing new in the Antique store, it's all been here before".

I was fortunate to be born in 1953, so in my opinion, I really caught the tail end of the " GOOD OLD DAY'S "

I along with a lot of fellow geezers on this thread, know exactly what I mean.
There was a time when please and thank you, actually meant something!
And common courtesy was an element that a lot of us were raised with.

Fast forward to now, well at 70 years of age, who would have ever thought, that the strange element of "ROAD RAGE" would be something that a person on the highway would really have to think about and avoid !

But I digress, I am still a big fan of please and thank you, on all levels of communication!
Your results may vary!
Thanks from Dennis.

 

Modern road-rage is just the extended amplification of grievance-culture.

Interestingly enough, so is complaining on the internet, just without the 2-3 tons of motor weapon, and firearms.

 

I’m a door “opener and holder”. The warehouse I work in is mainly full of the 20-something crowd.
I’d wager 1 out of 5 acknowledge me with a nod, thank you etc.
Occasionally someone will hold the door for me as well. Alls not lost but at times it seems like it.

 

I believe the technical term for this phenomenem is "the downward spiral".
Many with youth on their side will deny it even exists, because they have not known or seen a time that was different.

 

I think it’s more entitlement. I’ll explain in a PM to you in a bit.

 

As a seller, I am fine with answering a question and not hearing anything beyond that. If, after reading my answer they aren't interested in my item, there is nothing more to discuss. I don't need to read excuses as to why it won't work for them and I have no interest in swapping "pleasantries". Simple question ... simple answer, and done. This isn't face-to-face, this is impersonal and to the point.

This is what I want:
Potential buyer: Hi, I am interested in your ______. Do you know what the compression ratio is?
Seller: Sure do, it's 10.5:1
I fully expect (and hope for) silence if they aren't interested after reading my answer and hope for more conversation/questions ONLY if they are interested in buying.

This is what I do NOT want:
Potential buyer: Hello sir, I hope you are having a good day. I have a question regarding your item for sale.
Seller: Hello, what is your question?
P/B: Do you happen to know the compression ratio?
Seller: Sure do, it's 10.5:1
P/B: Wow, that's kind of high for todays gas, higher than I am wanting.
Seller: I hear you on that I back the timing off a bit and always run premium gas.
P/B: Yeah, not what I wanted to hear. Thanks but I'll keep looking.
Seller: Hey, no problem, I hope you find what you are looking for.
P/B: Thanks, you are very kind. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Seller: You are very welcome. If you change your mind, feel free to "ping" me again.



When I get 20 people lined up for multiple different items I may have for sale at the same time, it can get to be quite a burden either sending or receiving emails/PM's when most don't have a possibility of ending in a sale. If someone sends a question, they get an answer. If a sale is pending, I will tell the other interested parties that I will contact them IF it is still available. I don't see it as being rude if they go silent, I see it as a positive as I won't be wasting any more time with someone who clearly isn't interested in my item.

If I am in a store and need help finding something, I absolutely thank the sales "associate" for their help. If I am in a position to hold a door for someone, I will. But, on the internet, when dealing with a completely anonymous stranger I will most likely never meet at any point in my life, when it's regarding the sale or purchase of an item ... shorter is sweeter in my world.

Quite often, the questions I ask as a potential buyer are questions that SHOULD have been answered in the original ad. Example: I was looking to "freshen up" a small bathroom/powder room and was looking for a nice used vanity with a granite counter and under-mount sink. I have limited space to work with here. Do you have any idea how many sellers DON'T bother to include measurements in their ads? I refuse to "thank them for their time" when the fact that they didn't include measurements in their ad is now actually wasting MY time. I've been keeping my eye out for an on/off road motorcycle. You would be absolutely amazed at how many sellers can't be bothered to include the engine size in their ads (it can't always be read off the side of the bike). Don't put "low mileage" in your ad ... put the ACTUAL mileage IN your ad and save me from having to ask the obvious Don't say "make an offer" then respond with "that's too low" ... if it's too low then that means YOU HAVE AN IDEA WHAT YOU WANT FOR IT SO PUT THE PRICE IN YOUR AD DAMMIT

Not everyone will agree with the above and that's just fine with me

 

You punks get the hell off my lawn !!

 

I turned 66 last week and was one of those taught basic courtesy. If I'm first to a door and somebody is on the other side or behind me I hold it open for them no matter the age. If they are busy gawking at their 'phone and don't look up I happily let it go in the hope it knocks the 'phone out of their hand.

 

Young people express gratitude in different ways and value some acts above others. But plenty of people just suck... young or old.

 

When you say "plenty of people just suck", are you implying that is the way they show their gratitude..........
Sorry, just couldn't resist. You left it wide open.

 

I’ve had some very grateful customers. But so far none that grateful.

 

Change isn't always a good thing...

 

Keep it up! Everyone needs a good laugh during these trying times...

 

Respect doesn't change because of age. No matter how old or young you are, you should treat others the way you wish to be treated. And as car people, I thought we had a tighter bond. Guess not all that pretend to be hot rodders are truly hot rodders huh? Fuck em. As far as the subject goes, I rarely try to cut another man's price. If what he is asking is more than I can afford, I just move on. And I'm here to tell you, there's some crazy prices out there. Makes me question if I'm wealthy enough to run with the folks here, but I'm just a hot rodder, I take what I have, and buy what I can afford, and have more fun than most with the shit I throw together.

 

I remember listening to my grandparents and other relatives griping about how the youth of the day had no respect for their generation....in the 1970's. My Mom's uncles sold farm equipment and complained about potential customers not calling them back...in the 1970's
Not really strange reading comments here that echo those from back then.
It's traditional!

 

The kind with one wing.

 

There is nothing new under the sun.

 

"Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt."

Horace, in Book III of Odes, circa 20 BCE.

 

Yep, absolutely correct, just like @41 GMC K-18 told us in post #36........

 

I buy and sell parts fulltime and yes, this is the new norm. It is quite frusterating dealing with people via the internet as opposed to in person but the way I choose to look at it is this.. folks who come take a look and have common courtesy usually walk away with screamin deals and those that don't pay full price or kick rocks.... I'm not that desperate and its the same way I was treated coming up which more often than not had me on the rewarded end of things

 

I sold 2 items on Facebook marketplace in the last year. Last one I put on and went about other things and didn't return to look at responses for a couple days- HOLY SHIT- was there a bunch of responses! I got my ass chewed for not responding immediately!! Well , item sold to 1st person who came- Anyway my point is as others have said, people expect immediate responses and if they don't get it they move on... I have even seen it here on the HAMB too, Someone asks a question and doesn't come back for a couple weeks- guys on here getting in arguments amongst themselves about solution to OP's dilemma, and asking what has happened to OP???? It's all good though I enjoy reading this stuff and certainly have learned a lot- Thanks to you guys for that.

 

I do WAY more buying than selling but I let them know if I’m still interested or if I want the item just so they don’t sit around waiting on me and they have other inquiries about the item.

On a second note, Im turning 57 this week and I was raised to say yes or no with a ma’am or sir behind it or in less than 3 tenths of a second I was picking my monkey ass up off the floor!!

Try getting one of those out of these kids nowadays……….

 

30 years ago I worked at a start up company in So Cal that had employees from a dozen different countries. It was amazing what the differences were between cultures on what kind of response was expected on interoffice mail, some expected long wordy replies while an "OK" was all right with others. Any reply was good in my book just so you know the message was received, total silence was kinda rude. It's called communication folks and your time is not more important than my time especially if I took the time to respond to your question you owe me the courtesy of a simple "no thanks" or "not interested" in my opinion. I have driven 75 miles with a pickup and car trailer after someone told me they would hold a car for two hours but no more. Okay fair enough! When I got there the car was gone, he said "I didn't think you were serious" despite several emails. On the other hand I have waited hours for someone to show up then they disappear from the earth when I try to contact them back. I guess this is why E Bay exists.

 

Yep people suck! I had some 28-29 sheet metal parts for sale on here. Had a member message from not far away from me and asked me to hang on to it for the weekend he needed to borrow pickup so he could come get it. Never heard from him again.

 

You’d think giving stuff away would be easier! I had taken apart a FH, sold the block and a few years back put the parts (crank, rods, heads, etc) in the Pay it Forward forum. Had one guy who wanted the stuff about 2.5 hours from me, so working nights I loaded it all in a shopping cart and put it out front. After a week, rolled the cart to the back. Another , about 25 minutes from me, rolled the cart back out front, week later rolled the cart all the way to the back and in the scrap pile it’s been since.
One fella asked for pics, I took the time to send them to him.
Not a call, message from either.