Folks Of Interest Hot Rods/Customs and Mental Health

WARNING this post involves feelings......

@Ryan has created the ultimate site for all things traditional hot rods and customs for hoodlums. We all know hoodlums don't have feelings right? Even if acknowledged that we may have we sure wouldn't admit it.

Let me preface the following with an admission that I have massive mental health struggles, do I like the fact that I do? Of course not but its who I am. The fact that I do contributes to them. By this point you are asking yourself what this has to do with traditional hot rods or customs.

People ask me often why I have old cars. My answer? Not because other people think they are cool, not because they are trendy, not because I'm trying to showoff. Because they make me happy. I have been to therapy more than once, that shit doesn't work for me, old cars are my therapy. I can be having a bad day and all of that goes away once I am behind the wheel of an old car heading home or at home working on one. Cheesy? Probably. The very fact that they draw attention contributes to my struggles. I am happiest being by myself, other then my wife and kids.

The point of my somewhat personal confession?

Ask yourself something for me would you?

Would you stand outside a therapists office and call everyone coming and going crazy?
Would you go out of your way to purposefully contribute to some ones mental health struggles?
I would hope for the most part our answers are "hell no"

Yet everyday, whether its here on the HAMB, in a parking lot where an old car is parked or a car show, there is disparaging remarks made out loud about others cars or abilities. I was on the receiving end this week.

Remember it may be some ones therapy regardless of your opinions.

I do not want this to turn into a typical HAMB shit show and fully expect it to get deleted (sorry in advance @Moriarity and @Ryan)

All of us need to look at our selves and be better.

 

Maybe I'm hard of hearing but that's not been my experience at car events. People are usually overwhelmingly positive. But then again I'm choosy about which events I go to. Maybe that has something to do with it.

 

Mark, the comment about mine came as I was dealing with the starter having failed in the parking lot at work. There are many threads admonishing people for not having things perfect etc. None of this is about me, it’s about you never know what something is to someone else.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you, but the rest of this world wants the 'latest and greatest' and are elated to make $800 payments on bells and whistles. What we do seems like complete foolishness. They will never get it.

Mark- I can imagine, Corvette guys are the worst.

 

This is going to be an interesting thread to say the least!

When a person owns and drives a vintage automobile, whether its a hot rod or a custom , or just something from from the 20's 30's 40's 50's etc, etc, etc.

When other people see such items, rolling around the streets or parked in a parking lot, its a visual representation of a "time machine" a non frozen, rolling work of art, that brings back memories, and hopefully of a positive and good nature.

To me, that is the best type of non confrontational, unsolicited therapy, to be shared with anyone that can relate to it.

When I would take my off topic, 46 IHC modified firetruck to various events or just driving it around, it was always a good feeling to see peoples reactions to something that most people don't own, but perhaps they wished they did !

"Everything old, is new again"
" Positive wins over Negative, every single time"

And for that, I am very thankful !
Thanks from Dennis.

 

I developed a thick skin some years ago so I can let a whole lot slide off my back before things start to aggravate me. I guess unfortunately not all of us can operate that way. I did my car because I wanted to do it. Similar to you I really don't give a shit if someone else likes it, hates it, or questions it's very existence. It makes me happy. Now I have seen a whole lot of cars that I have to say I didn't completely understand, but at least I had the good sense to keep my mouth shut and move along. I can appreciate the effort and the creativeness even if I don't particularly care for the finished car. Sorry you had to put up with that. Hang in there!

 

Thanks for sharing with us, 57 Fargo.
My garage is therapy for me. I can do without most people, except family.

 

I hear you, and I don't entirely disagree. We've all been on the receiving end of comments about what we do, what we have, how we look etc. I don't mean to potentially sound insensitive to your mental health struggles, that is not at all my intention, but the only thing I can say is that the sooner you stop giving a fuck about what other people think or say, the better your life is. Stay in your lane, concern yourself with yourself, and do what you need to do.

For many, criticizing the work or car of someone else is a way to make themselves feel better about their own car, and it often shows a level of insecurity not about the car being criticized, but with the car of the person doling out the criticism.

Enjoy the time spent with the car and in the hobby, and enjoy sharing it with others. While we're not doing it for the affirmation of others, more people than not will appreciate it than won't.

 

A fellow on the radio here (AM maybe? Syndicated maybe?) always signs off his programs with "Don't let anybody steal your joy".
The value of any lifestyle, past time, habit, or activity is measured by what it does for you, not by what it does for other people. The same goes for objects and people in your life. Gather to you the ones that feed your well-being, your spirit, and your mental strength....... and discard those that bum you out or bring you down.
Sometimes you literally have to sit down and do an honest inventory of what is impacting your current life and determine to get rid of the bottom, negative 10%.

 

My shop is my happy place too. I know exactly how you feel and what you’re going through. I go through them myself. Except my I don’t give a shit what you think is highly developed. I have learned to block out unwanted noises, which is what most people are to me.

 

I am my own worst critic. I tend to try and measure my stuff against the pros on the hamb and IG. I have to remind myself that I am a guy building out of his house. I don't have time to worry about everyone's opinion. I only have so many breaths left.

 

My response to the haters-"Do you hear that?" Then I don't say anything for 10-15 seconds. Then I say "That's the sound of no one giving a shiX" I'm too old to put up with fools. (I grew up in the inner city and respect all, well almost all.)

 

There is no such thing as a normal person, what is normal? My cars are my therapy, it puts my brain to work designing and building. I guess I’d be bored if I just took a car apart, and restored it stock, not as much of a challenge than building a Hot Rod or Custom.

 

I totally agree with this comment. There is a certain desire to "keep up appearances", but when you look at most of the really wealthy people, they're not out there wearing Gucci, but cause they know that $900 for a sweater is friggin dumb.

And I can add a personal anecdote, in that when I was a young professional with a little bit of success, I wanted the flashy car to flex a little. I bought myself a really nice BMW 5 series, M package car... but like many of these fancy foreign cars, it didn't last. Now that I'm older, more established, and secure, I drive a 2009 Ford Fusion to work that is currently 4 different colors, or a 2008 Ford Escape with 250K miles on it. I know a lot of broke ass people who drive some really nice cars, and a lot of people who are Facebook prosperous but struggling mightily when their lives aren't just one continuous highlight reel. This is why it's so important to just do your thing, and not worry about what others are doing. It's a false standard.

 

I’m not one to give a shit about other people, but because of my own struggles I’m sure aware that we never know what other people are going through or what their situation is, that’s the part to keep in mind.

This old car thing literally keeps me as sane as I’m ever going to be…

 

I spent 3 or more hours a day in the garage working on my truck, till last fall. I took a couple of months to work
on a place my brother purchased, then got covid and then had my back go out, which led the DRS to finding other
issues. As a result I have not had my garage time since last Oct. Based on the Drs schedule my back surgury should finally happen in June, the recovery period should last a couple of months, so back to work maybe by August. This getting old shit is for the birds.

 

One form of therapy for me coming to this forum and being able to interact ( so to speak) with fellow car enthusiasts ( nuts that is, car crazy hoodlums, he he) . It helps keep me on an even keel.

 

As I was going in to see my therapist last week, a lady was coming out. She was commenting on what a beautiful car I was driving. It's a '40 Ford coupe with a Moon Shine theme going on. She asked me what year and took pictures to send to her children. I had a nice conversation with her and she told me her age, which was 75 and I am 73. I don't know why she was seeing a therapist and I don't care, but I think my car may have been therapeutic for her that day. She was smiling ear to ear. I know my '40 sure lifts my spirits whenever I drive it, which is as often as I can.
My Car Club visits a lot of senior living facilities with our cars. NOTE: I use to call them old folks homes, but I am older than many of them. Lol! We will be going to 2 of them next week. I think it is therapeutic for many of them there. It brings back memories for them and they (as well as us) enjoy the conversations. I like car shows, but this is more fun and brings the show to people who otherwise wouldn't be able go.
Tomorrow I am displaying my car at a Market Days Show. Not really a show but a few selected antique and classic vehicles. I've done this a few times before and it's nice to see people enjoying the vehicles and asking questions about them.
A few years ago (20+), I was driving my '50 Ford (daily driver). At a traffic light a lady made a nice comment about it, but she added "Aren't you afraid of driving it?" I responded that if I didn't drive it, no one would get to enjoy it. Her response, "Thank you!"
While driving and enjoying our cars, we will never know just how many people we made happy at the same time.
One more story and I'll stop. While going to a senior home last week, 2 older ladies (probably younger than me) pulled up next to me just a smiling and giving thumbs up and saying they liked my car. I held up a jug that I keep beside me on the front seat and they cracked up. My license plate says: MN SHNR
Ron

 

I thought it was a pre requisite you had to be crazy to get into this hobby? Am I wrong?

 

As the song goes: "I'm not crazy, in just a little unwell".

What floats your boat may sink others; that's their loss. Shrug and move on.
Some people could never fathom kneeling down on concrete, sweating into what you're welding, yet may happily pour hours into making fishing flies and sitting in a boat watching the water. More power to them, I couldn't stand that but it's not for me.
There's always going to be someone that tells you something that puts you over the edge- maybe increment by increment and you need a way to unwind your mind from it.
If your medicine is building your car then I say more power to you.

Don't let the haters' hatred bring you down, that only makes them feel better about themselves. Like I said, shrug and move on.

Phil

 

You can’t let it get you down,,,,just brush it off .
And besides,,,,if you own anything Mopar ,,you are gonna be ridiculed anyway,,,,lol .
Get used to it,,,,it doesn’t get better really .

In the movie Uncommon Valor,,,the great Gene Hackman,,,had a memorable scene .
He was speaking about the Chosin Reservoir battle in the Korean War .
It was also nicknamed the Frozen reservoir,,,because it was bitterly freezing cold at that time .
He stated that it was so cold that they couldn’t bury the dead,,,and they had to stack them up ,,,,and the eyes haunted him in nightmares for years after staring at him .
One soldier asked him,,,did they ever go away ?
He said ,,No,,,,,but I finally made friends with them !

That’s what we have to do,,,,,,,cope with it ,,,,,,we can make it .
And besides,,,,it’s just cars,,,,,,who cares if someone yells something stupid ?
A lot of our brave guys suffered a lot more than that ,,,,,we all can make it !

Tommy

 

I find myself increasingly struggling with the way the world is developing and reliance on complex electronics and softwares.

Im only 39 but certainly feel like the world is leaving me behind. I also struggle with mental health and anxiety about providing for my family.

BUT those few hours a week I get in the garage or when I drive my old car, I feel a total state of peace in a place I fully understand.

id love nothing more than to find work that can keep me in that place but ‘responsibilities’ don’t allow right now.

don’t let the normies get ya down 57 Fargo youll forever be cooler than them

 

Working on old cars is therapy for me, gives me something to do and gets me out of the recliner and house. I can spend hours in the garage and don't care if I get anything done or not, keeps me busy and was really important during Covid. I use my cars as daily drivers and seldom go to car shows but that's mainly because I don't enjoy sitting around for hours. If I go to a car show it's to walk thru and visit with friends but don't really hang around for long.

 

You're OK, I'm OK, @Lloyd's paint & glass is OK, @Moriarity is OK. Well, maybe not Lloyd and Mark .

 

Hey Lane, we all have an outlet, and it's pretty obvious that it's these old cars for all of us here, even if we don't say it out loud. I think that the hamb is responsible for keeping some of these guys alive, it's what they look forward to everyday, I know i enjoy it myself. Nothing like being alone in the shop with an old car man...

 

GM and Mopar guys get along generally. Ford guys seem to be aloof or just strange and get along with nobody. But the absolute worst are the corvette people. I’ve seen and heard them belittle their own kind. I like to fuck with them the most! Ever seen a 68 vette that was perfect body paint and interior. But 440/727 powered?

 

My garage is my therapy. I have struggles at times myself. Some of that was self induced. IE overthinking worrying too much what others think etc. The one thing I have learned is if you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all. AND most of all Be kind. you never know others struggles. That said. I just keep on moving forward. and strive for the best, but take progress over perfection.

 

I could go on about this subject (and similar) for DAYS and in depth. There's a reason why I'm a self proclaimed hermit, do what makes you happy within reason (no law breaking or hurting others...right and wrong still should prevail) and try to tune out the noise. Some people will understand the struggles, some live it and other don't get it at all. It's hard enough just to be in this world.......but I've said too much already.