Folks Of Interest Hot Rods/Customs and Mental Health

This is a "gif" that I would like to share with the original posting banana and the rest of the bunch.
(You can click and save it for your own personal use.)

 

Hang in there Fargo , I am much the same as you , this old car hobby keeps me right , the HAMB too . The first time I walked into the pits at the HAMB drags in 2010 I started smiling and said to my self "these are my people !"

 

While parked on a side street one day, to do a head scratch, a youngster( 12? ) appeared.
He said, "one question, where do get a car like this?
I directed him to the book store. Told him to find Rod and Custom, and ask for Hemmings Motor news.
Years earlier while dealing with the cabriolet in the avatar, an old Crotchrot screamed "Take that junk to the junk yard!"
I stake my claim to sanity ( many times called to question ) with the knowledge that the coupe is mine.

 

I’ve had people tell me that happiness is a choice…they don’t understand.

For the record I’m perfectly fine, no one should be worried about me.

I think we all need a reminder sometimes that mental health issues are more common then we care to admit.

 

Smile, don't worry ... be happy.

Hot Rod's Rule ! I built mine some 33+ years ago and it's my daily driver ... I enjoy the 14 mile one way ride to The Rod Shoppe @ 7AM and the ride home washes away the days drama.
May God Bless you all.

 

Perhaps you haven't said enough. I mean that in a most sincere way. If you really feel it is hard to be in this world please reach out to someone and have them work with you to find someone to help you. In my life I had 3 friends that put on a good face and never let on they were hurting. Their obits read "died suddenly". It was gruesome & gutted three families. One was like a brother since we were in grade school. We did everything together. He always put on the cheery face and obviously hid it well. What was maddening is that he lied to everyone around him to conceal what he was going through. We did a lot of time together when he could have said anything. If anyone is feeling in a really dark place please tell someone and get help. My friend didn't, wouldn't until he decided not to be in the world at 35. I am days away from 73. I think of him often when doing things. Another very had close friend had brother take the same path. The irony is when one friend decided to "not be" another close friend with two toddler sons was fighting to live but died of cancer a week before his 2nd son's birthday. My wife went through a dark time 25 years ago and thank god she reached out. Some time with a good counsellor that changed her perspectives, gave her coping skills and the help of a mild antidepressant. She has a solid group of friends, tight with her sisters and is very social. She is a grandmother who loves every minute with our 4 year old grandson and 2 year old grand daughter. A huge difference in her life by reaching out.

 

^^^Amen^^^

 

We all have issues we are working thru. Had a rough stretch. man it was tough. But picking up this piece of junk and working to get it road worthy, making it look cool. that was my therapy. yes it’s not what most people like, but I don’t like what most people have. I cant wait until I can fix something on the car then go out an have some fun. Garage time is the best time , you find yourself.
Anyone that needs help we are all for you. Ya we may bust your 3/4 nuts but we are all in this together.

Take the car out find a less traveled road and let’s it fly, little tire smoke is better than a car payment or therapist co pay….

 

I use my shop as therapy but ironically sometimes it’s the car activities that don’t quite work out that creates the need for therapy!

When I get my current project on the road I’m placing a little message in the windshield...If you see something that you consider not correct please send the cheque to the following location of fuck off! LOL

If I see something at a car show I don’t feel is correct I’m silent. In reality any bodies work is probably better than mine but it’s all an education. Being a forty plus year teacher I’m always happy to help where I can (I’ve told many people about the HAMB).

Perhaps there should be national therapeutic facilities for us where we could move into and work on/drive old cars everyday! No meds, no therapists, etc...

 

I would be divorced and unemployed without meds. No shame in what helps.

 

No demeaning meant...

 

Life can certainly be tough to navigate at times, and humans can say and do things that hurt others deep. I think most of it is not intentional, just thoughtless. At least, that is how I have tried see it and make sense of the world.

Quite a few years ago I bought a "message rock" at a beachfront street market. It just seemed to speak to me, and made me laugh. Still does, so it sits on my desk to lighten each day.

 

Zen is your foot flat on the floor and an open road. It heals all. Come to Lloyd's this year and hang out with the rest of the ''crazies''..

 

none taken at all man.

 

They make signs you can put on your cars to say you built it for yourself and not others approval, not really something for me, but I chuckle every time I see one. We live in some of the greatest democracies in the world, so you would think you could be yourself, some days it seems that is getting harder. My uncle, who doesn’t say much, once told me there is no shortage of stupid people, I have reason to revisit that at least every couple of days, it helps me get through the week. Feel free to adopt of version of that if you want. The hamb is my only social media, I think that might help.

 

I had a co-worked who kept a carved wooden sign on her desk. It read
"Choose joy".
The more I thought about it the more I realized "She gets it."

I've been retired for 22 years but I haven't forgotten her sign. Working on old cars does it for me.

 

You get it.

We can choose to do things that bring us joy alright. @twenty8 quote above sums it up nicely, we need to be careful about inadvertently taking away someone’s “joy”.

 

Agreed about doing your best to avoid taking away someone else’s joy. I have been finding that as I get older I am starting to “get it” more when I see something different from my definition of cool. I appreciate the fact that someone has an interest in something and a passion, even if it is different from my interests or passions.
Way back in high school shop class in 1975 I had my 51 Pontiac in and we were swapping the flathead 6 for a Chev 235. I was obsessed with my car even though it was sort of rough and felt sort of hurt when I walked into the shop and someone had written “condemned” across the trunk. It took me a day or two but then I realized that they just didn’t “get it” and probably never would. Sort of made me less reliant on approval by others but also aware of how even a joke can impact others. Truth is, it probably was a fair assessment of the car at the time!
Anyway Lane, cheers to you…hope the fires are nowhere close to your area!

 

Are old cars therapy?
Yes.
Are we crazy for working on them?
Yes
We need more therapy

my students ask me what I did before working on cars. My answer is “ I can’t remember”
Mom had pics of me in diapers handing wrenches to dad. My first official job was prepping garbage trucks for paint.

I get asked by students why am I always smiling.
I tell em I’ve never stopped playing with cars and because I choose to smile.

hitting cars with hammers is therapeutic for me.

What’s the meaning of life?
“Only you can define that for yourself”

How do I choose the right career, car companion………
“Pick a crazy that you enjoy/can deal with”

what’s the difference between a goal and a fantasy?
“A fantasy is an unachieved goal, a goal is an unachieved fantasy”

What is failure?
“Not attempting is failure, a failed attempt is a lesson learned”

When I visit a pro shop, I like to glance at the scrap pile. You’ll see half shaped pieces, partially machined parts….. mistakes? Maybe. Mostly just monuments to overcoming limitations.

There are threads here that make me want to sell all my tools and cars and stop. The work is just that dang good. I had to stop looking at them as exposing my limitations.

Im happy driving junk, if some guy at a show/cruise in doesn’t understand that….well, I guess that’s on him. My zen is my zen

 

No failures, just experienced gained !

 

Well my friend I hope that I have not contributed to your, uh, problems? Sorry I am trying to be tactful here. I know that I can be abrasive at times and I do own a pair of peppermint shoes.

My oldest granddaughter has struggled in the past. She grew up with me and her G maw. We have played cars and motorcycles all her life. We have a thing that we do before either one of us ever lifts a wrench, she says, "grandpa?" I say yes sweety. And she says, "Go to hell grandpa" Unless she is not having a good day then she says, "F&%ck you grandpa." If she says the later I step back and hand her wrenches until she askes me for help. I know that this is a family group but she is my family I am proud of her, and she is allowed to speak with me that way. I think she gets it from me actually.

I think we all struggle with something. I won't go into my personal issues here if you know me well you know. if you think we are friends feel free to ask, if you don't know, just not on an open forum.

I do not play cars and motorcycles to be cool. There is absolutely nothing cool about me and never has been. I wrench because I like to. I also like the feel of an old heap or scooter. I do something that I have done all my life and it makes me happy.

 

I’m the coolest guy I know.



also the sexiest.

 

That right there is my go to saying from now on, thanks @The Shift Wizard. Thanks to @57 Fargo for having the courage to come forward about this. I as well am in a similar situation and struggle sometimes with my mental health. Being relatively new to the scene down here I was always concerned about what people thought, with this or that about my car. But now thanks to good friends like @Kiwi 4d, who are very supportive, things have got a whole lot easier. Build it, drive it and fix it when it lets you down, that's therapy for me. Talk to people on here when life gets you down. Cheers

 

I enjoy seeing folks light up as they react to memories they relive upon viewing one of my toys. I recently put my wife's vette up for sale and can't believe the rude comments from people who will never have such a nice ride. It reminds me why I usually never sell them.

 

While this is certainly true, we also need to be careful not to have the wind taken out of our sails by stuff that really doesn't matter. Lots of the things we take offence to are just others doing their own thing, and are not really a deliberate attack on us personally. Always remember, the boat only sinks if you let the water get in.

Keep paddlin' guys......... and keep smiling.

 

You just haven't met me in person, yet

 

Hello,

The idea that others are so insensitive is a blasphemy. Some just don’t get it at all. I have learned to have a thick skin since being approached from an older teenager and being pushed down on the ground. We were little elementary school kids then. But we all learned to cope at the time as scary as it was. By the time we were much larger in high school and on a school field trip, I saw the same guy in a non social place where he was a guide for the teen facility. He had problems and this place supposedly helped him.

The other kid who also got shoved down was with me back then, is/was an older and larger teenager, too. We were scared back then, but upon seeing the guy talking to our group, we plotted some kind of revenge. But, we were mad and frustrated and decided to deal with it in a nonchalant way. The time it took to get over it was the long bus ride back to Long Beach from Pasadena. We were able to calm down and enjoy our parting shot. (I “stumbled” and fell into the guy and knocked him into a bush. Apologies given and a smile across two teenagers’ faces told all…)

We had to have a thick skin to go through the teenage bravado sessions at our local teen gatherings. Driving a labeled, “Salmon Pink” Flathead Ford Sedan Delivery was one thing to acknowledge. But, when it was similar situation in unknown territory, it was a question of… “was it going to be worth it to challenge the comments or not… ?”

When my brother and I arrived at the local surf spot in our 58 Impala with two longboards sticking out of the rear trunk area, we were laughed at and given comments, not always sincere. But our way of silencing those comments with some skillful surfing and power moves was the deciding factor. We did not have to challenge those idiot comments and showed our skills to our own delight.

Jnaki

Over the years of getting married and coping with all sorts of social idiocy, we just learned to adjust our feelings and moved onward. Acceptance is not always right, but understanding the inadequacies of some people is a must for us. So, we live a simple life and “Don’ let the small sh#!” bother us. YRMV

 

I repaired heavy equipment for a career and fool with cars for a hobby, it’s like a bus man’s vacation, the bus driver who takes the bus.

The solitude of the shop has a therapeutic effect, I process the things in my life. The troubleshooting and completion of processes provides a feeling of well being.. it feels good to fix things.
Although my A is a hopped up banger it is also therapeutic to drift along an old road at 30 mph..that zone where everything is right.
I see mental health as a personal thing, talking about it with others or doctors is uncomfortable. Drifting off in the shop .. or on the road works.

 

Amen brother and good on ya for doing what you need to .

my brother-in-law has mental health issues , diagnosed when he was a teen and it was 10 plus years of “ war” in the family , from a father-in-law who was in complete denial , bro in law not wanting help and fighting the entire time and me , my wife and mother in law trying all we could to help him .
Finally he figured out to lead a healthy life he need doctors and meds and family . He’s now married , has a successful business the last 15 years and is doing great , Art and work are his outlets .


And as far as folks criticizing our hobby and cars they can all get bent .
When I sold my 50 fleetline I did a jag front clip and camaro rear end with a 261 and T5 I put it up for sale and had a guy call me just to say I “ ruined the car” and should of kept it stock . I asked him if he wanted to buy it …….. no just wanted to tell you you fucked it up !
Huh ? Click hang up the phone , he had the nuts to call back . I didn’t pick up .
Comments about wheel choice , engine choice etc etc .
Is it your car ? No so then please go take a nice bath with a toaster and leave me alone .


My car , my garage , swap meets , sale websites and the Hamb are my therapy and outlet .

if your into it cool , if not , I don’t really care !

shameless photoshop of my ride @Stogy did last year !

 

For us this is normal, and stress relief on my dad's side auto racing goes back to the 1938. My dad's uncles on his father's were mechanics, on his mother's side they auto racers.
Dad crewed and built cars; his cousin drove.

My mother's father, and older brother were bodymen, my mom and dad meet because my dad, and her father and bother were working at the same Chevrolet dealership.

Working on cars, going to races, swapmeets, and car shows is all I have know.

I was in the pits at my first race at three months old.
My first memory is of dad adjusting the valves on the 390 in his 72 F-100 Ranger. I was a toddler; he was sitting on the inner fender, and I wanted to see what he was doing. I stood on the milk crate he had used to climb under the hood, I still couldn't see so I climbed on the bumper grabbed the radiator support stood still couldn't see so I started to use the grill as a ladder, when he saw what I was doing he picked me up put me on his lap and when back to work.
Looking back, I don't know how he was able to run the valves with me on his lap.

When he came to the hospital to pick my mom and me up, he had three gifts for me, a teddy bear, a Matchbox car, and 3/8 through 9/16 Snap-On wrenches. I still have the bear, the Matchbox and the wrenches.

However, to the great unwashed masses, what we do is completely weird and total unnecessary.

Last week the purchasing manager at work told me my hobbies and interests were weird!

Yesterday, I went to the estate sale of one of my fellow vintage stock car club members, one of our fellow club members have been helping his widow and the guys in the club have been making fair offers on his parts, but the family just wants parts gone and were selling this for pennies on the dollar!!!

They sold a beam torque wrench for $2.00, not to one of our club members.

When I left there were multiple boxes of new aftermarket H-beam rods, multiple new dry sump tanks, plumping, oiler coolers, full size Quick Change rears, I heard one of the family say "If this racecar stuff doesn't sell, we're just going to scrap it."

The racers who were still there told the widow don't scrap it, call us.

I offered to take the parts to swapmeet for her.

To most people the idea of work being fun or a stress relief is a completely foreign concept, as for the car scene it's self it used to be car guys were well rounded, they used to like a little bit of everything, and made a study of automotive history.

It has gotten to a point where people are locked into one very small part of this lifestyle.

I obviously am very partial to oval track racing, but I like a little bit of everything period correct hot rods, muscle cars, stock vehicles, drag racing, I am not a huge road racing fan but I enjoy watching it, I am not a fan of the hi-tech style cars but I can respect the work that goes into those style builds.

Not only do I enjoy the cars but also learn the history, and there in lays the issue for so many this is just about the cars, the history and how we got here in secondary or flat out of no importance.

The only history they know is what they were directly involved in, and the true history of racing, hot rodding, high performance, and the automotive industry it's self is being lost!
I am always looking to learn more about automotive history, and have made an effort to become friends with the real deal racers/hot rodders who did it back then.
I have said many times I don't view this as a hobby, I view it as a lifestyle. I don't hunt, fish, play golf, I don't watch ball and stick sports, and when someone tries to pass their options off as history or fact and argues facts to be is no different than someone making a rude comment about my mom it is my obligation to defend!

These three videos sum it up best!