Amusing car stuff / funny / stories / pics , print / whatcha got

This puts me in mind of a lot I saw in N. Philly back in the nineties.
An early '60s Plymouth that looked like it had been to war.
The windshield Simply said "Beats Walking"

 

Ah yes,the old break away safety chain trick

 

1978 the local village idiot bought a 1970 Pontiac Bonneville station wagon for $25.00 and towed it to the service station he worked at. Pushed it inside a bay and set about trying to get the 455 running. Engine spun over but no start.
The starter died so a new one was installed plus new plugs wires coil,points and condenser. Still wouldn't start.
As we pondered why no success a customer who stopped in frequently walked in and listened as we were talking.
Car was still up on the lift and he tapped on the gas tank and asked if there was any gas in it. After adding some fuel it started right up and purred like a kitten.
I was soooo embarrassed but I did get two winters out of the beast.

 

Rumor has it he originally had a job repacking parachutes but he was quietly let go for some reason.

 

Reminds me of the time, 55 years ago, I spent 20+ minutes trying to figure out why my '56 Chevy wouldn't crank, then I put it in park.

 

A high school friend had a no-start condition in a notchback mustang. He pulled it home and worked on it all day until he figured out it was just out of gas. That was enough to send him over the edge to where he destroyed that car with a piece of rebar. I have memories of him throwing the "slide track" tape player at the headlights until he broke both. The car ended up at the bottom of a valley for fill.

 

After my brother in law tuned up my sister's Pinto, it wouldn't start . I was called in to find out what was wrong . Some times I would see fire at the plug and other times not . I put new plug wires on and while checking for fire the car started on 3 plugs. Great, now I can check dwell and timing . Again no start . Time to start over. What I found was my brother in law had lost the machine screw that held the condenser and replaced it with a sheet metal screw with a plastic washer on it. Removed the washer and all was well . My bil was not much of a mechanic and a worst bil.

 

Taking a bat etc etc to the car almost always fixes them!!

 

Someone pinch me ……

 

"I wonder what I can to with all that old sheet metal leftover out in the field"

 

Perfect….the trash can will be in service long after the “truck” is scrap.

 

Ok, I’ll punch you, but you’re not gonna like it!

 

Just exactly how much Mad Dog and Night Train is needed to get in the frame of mind to do something like this on purpose????

 

Pinch me, HELL! Someone please scratch my eyes out!!!

 

Nope.... those are torque-limiting tightening devices to keep the strong arms from stripping fasteners!

 

It may have been caused by snake venom.
Did Y'all get a look at the reptiles, coming out of the cockpit ??

 

I think it is overdue at the crusher.

 

Novel approach! Wonder if he patented that?

 

The home version of of this? Even "pros" build ugly.

 

I ain’t God so I’ll take it, I know I know I’m sick

 

Could probably sell the front suspension.