Projects Funny stuff that happens with old cars....

PINK!!!

 

All those who have cranked a car over repeatedly and it won't start because it was out of gas the line forms behind me.

 

Right after the line for everyone who tried to start the car after a tune up with the rotor on the work bench.

 

;;
"Way Back Story"
"Magic power of stupidity"

It was about 1958 and Bob Williams was putting a Rocket 88 V8 and tranny ,into his 47 Ply coupe under the shade tree that had a great size lim for the greasy old chainhost back behind Tim Bliss's house,a good spot at that time away from all other eyes we'd been using for other motor job's and stuff,,Bob ask if I'd stop by to help fig the new motor mounts and Ex out,well when I get there Bob and Tim already had the motor inplace and setting there with the chain not hooked laying on the fender,the car up in the front on some blocks. Hay Bob says,"just take a look under there and think up some mounts we can fab up?" Sure,I get only part way under and then come out fast,I say"What's holding this biggass 88 inplace anyway??"
Bob said "Why? It just set down as nice could be"
But I saw nothing stoppen it from coming down more from the front pulley back,so we start looking hard all around from over top of the fenders and I tell Bob and Tim I see nothing !!! Right then a big cracking sound and black dist.cap parts flying up as 88 is dropping to the ground,the cap was on the fire wall and the only thing holding that big mother from swinging the tranny on down,these guys had set it inplace so soft and it had looked so good in there too them,they had removed the chain,then my dum butt went and broke the power of stupidity magic, telling them there was nothing holding it up[boom]the "magic power of stupidity" was gone
It fell like a really big rock,wow if we'd been under it!!!!!smash-O
So careful how and when ya tell some one ,someten don't sposta work,or BOOM! Now days is this called ?"A rip in the Force"???"May the Force be with ya!"

 

A long time ago. My good friend was drag'n home an old A bone. That's back when we would just use the pipe, and chain method. We lived out in the boonies, so it's not as bad as it sounds. If a car came up on him he would slow down, and just motion for it to go on around. When going down this big hill. He saw in his peripheral vision, a car passing him. So he slowed down, and started waving for it to go on by. As the car passed, he notice that it was his old model A! lol At the bottom of the hill. The A left the road coming to a stop when it hit an old apple tree. Just chained it back up again, and took it on home.

 

Back in the eighties I had a customer by the name of Herman Bruns, now Herman was a man in his late eighties and he liked to tell stories of his younger days when he came in. One story he told that has stuck with me is that of his early days of motorcycle riding with his wife. He was talking about how the highway between Ventura Ia. and Clear Lake was a dirt/sand mix with crops planted up to the traveled path of the road. He said that he and his wife to be had left Ventura and when he came to a stop in Clear Lake she wasn’t with him. So he headed back and found her just outside of Ventura walking towards Clear Lake having fallen off the bike after he hit a soft spot in the road. He said that she wasn’t hurt or even upset and with a certain amount of pride mentioned they were still together.

Herman had another story of hitting a hog on his bike, he said that he like the speed of riding but that the roads weren’t good and the felds came up to the path on the road again. So one day he was going down a dirt road at speed and a full size hog ran out of a corn field across the road, he said he wasn’t hurt bad but it totaled the bike, he said he had bought another bike but didn’t ride like he had before.

I don’t remember seeing Herman after 1990 or so but I always looked forward to him sitting in my office and sharing memories. I came to the conclusion that his bike riding must have been in the late teens and early twenties and it was a privilege to hear his story first hand.

 

Reminds me of the back of a T shirt I saw a biker wearing that said "If you can read this the bitch fell off"

 

I've run this story before but it't good for those that missed it
I wish I had known of that pipe trick, when. In the same maneuver one night. ( we chose night due to no paperwork etc ) My buddy and I had this busted up Cabriolet body sitting on a frame with front / rear axles and steering.
Using my dad's 65 Chevelle SW to pull, my pal drove, and I steered the A bones. sittin' on wood.
Other than jeers from old heads yelling junk that **** it went well until we get to the descent towards the bridge crossing the river, a three block steep ride.
Using the front tires as bumpin'bumper brakes worked okay on flat ground.
The force of gravity made the tires climb up the the bumper of the Chevelle striking the tailgate.
Wishing I had brakes,I spied the emergency cable and thought 'why not'?
Hooking my shoe in it I pushed the cable tight, causing the axle to twist the spring and force the universal cup downward. Well a crack in the asphalt snagged the drive line pivoting the whole mess UP until the shaft levered the cup out of the crack.
So here it is, I push the cable tight, the frame, the shell, and I rocket skyward.
I'm looking down on the roof of Pop's wagon.
Then crash the whole mess returns to earth, me, wishing there was a seat.

 

Back in August of 1969 I just got out of the Army. My '57 was not ready for everyday use yet, so I bought something to get me around until it was done. I picked up a 1963 Lark for $150 bucks. It looked okay but it had a lot of issues. One evening while out driving, the radiator sprung a leak. I was driving in Brooklyn, N.Y. at the time and had to stop at a lot of traffic lights. The leak had a thin stream of water shooting straight out of the grill hitting anyone crossing the street in front of it. You had to see the look on the people's faces. No one figured out where it was coming from.

 

Couple stories.

First one was with my off topic Camaro , spent a Saturday installed a shifter , 8 ball knob drilled and tapped , a tach and a few other gauges and other doo-dads that where the style at the time . All proud I show this to my Father and say “so waddaya think ?”
His response ….. “ how much horse power does this shit make ?”


Another was when I put new pans in my o/t bug , put the body on , no doors, hood, trunk, glass , seats , fenders .. nothing just the body and me sitting on a milk crate . Of course I had to take it for a spin around the block , as I turn off the side street onto the main road in our neighbourhood theirs a cop at the intersection he pulls me over and with a kinda sideways smile asks me “ what the fu$k am I doing “ so I told him I just got the car “ mobile” and went for a quick romp around the block. He asks “ where’s home” I tell him “ see that angry Italian at the end of the drive way ? .. there !”
He laughs and say , take this heap home and don’t put it back on the street until it resembles a car

last one was with my buddy Spider , now spider got this name as he owned 7-8 alpha Romeo spiders in high school all in varying degrees of crappiness . He bought one that had a bunch of go fast goodies on the engine and some cool interior bits but the car was thoroughly rotted out to the point their where holes you could see right through from one side to the other , anyways a set of plates and me driving behind him to discourage the cops from seeing to much we try and limp the car to his parents house , about 1/2 way through our adventure , stopped at a light the car seemed to have a seizure and collapsed on into itself ! Suspension through the trunk floor , front frame and mounts rotted out , reminded me of the final scene in blues brother where the old Dodge just self distructed !! Limped it onto a side street , pulled off whatever was of any value and just left it there !

I got a ton of dumb stories like these

 

Around here, that’s known as a Stiff Hitch.

 

I was taking my (M-word) for a test spin after doing some work.... Now the emergency brake hadn't worked in years but the cables were still loosely attached but the handle mechanism was screwed up so it wouldn't work.
(who needs emergency brakes when you have a stick shift and live in the flat country ...right ?)
Well the mods seemed to work pretty good soooo on the way home "I feel the need for speed"!
I made a U-turn onto the frontage road and stand-on-it thru 1st gear...2nd gear...
As I slow for a stop sign all of a sudden the old Hor Rod comes to a tire-skidding halt !
LOCKED UP!... engine cuts off...tranny locked in gear... What The Heck?
Had it towed home on a roll-back...tranny fluid leaking..
........$$$$ marks were floating thru my head!!.......
Next morning I dreadfully go and jack up the rear to see about the bad news...
My two E-brake cables had become entangled with the front U-joint and had wrapped them selves TIGHTLY around the drive shaft causing the engine to shut off causing the car to suddenly lock down.. The cables had eat up the rear tranny seal causing the tranny fluid leak...!!
6sally6

 

A friend who painted house professionally was digging my '64 Cutlass convert. I had more rides than I needed. His work on my house was miraculous.
So along with his fee I gave him the Olds. He took to working on it at many levels. In time he was complaining that he could not get it to run well. Seemed like no power.
The motor was great for me, though the start-up rattle indicated a second rollover of the odometer.
As luck goes I found a donor a little newer and 20 more cubes.
He and his buddy did a transplant but told me it ran like a pig.
At this point I was doing the long haul trucking game. Had no time to give it.
One day I get home the car is in my driveway. He don't want it no more.
Over the road means no free time at home. You come home rest up and leave.
Years later after sittin' and sunlight take their toll. I am able to give some energy.
It had been long enough, that first I need to do brake hydraulics.
Unable to remove the rear drums I go and loosen up the E-brake cable.
I found that he had decided the best fix for the rust holes in the floor pans was fresh tin screwed into place. The cable hangers were now positioned so that the brakes never released. It would not get out of its own way.
When I gave it to him it had new shoes front and rear. when the drums came off ( after much beatin' and pryin' and bustin' the pins,),, the back drums had an enormous lip to them

 

For years I bought cars to part out, strip, or resell. I often used one of those cheaply purchased rides as transportation to and from my real job, until some one wanted something off of it. Sometimes I drove some real piles of junk.
I bought an off topic Dodge 4x4 Ramcharger (think Blazer). It was really cheap, and ran really well, just had a bit of a rust issue.
When ever I drove it, I had to slam the drivers door to get it to latch tightly. The longer I drove it, the worst the door latch worked. I was only driving it a mile or so to work, and it was winter, we lived in the country, that 4x4 worked really well, I could deal with the door latch.

So that first warm day towards the end of winter, I was heading into town (maybe 2 miles). I did the door slam deal, so I was sure I had the door latched. I had the drivers door window rolled down and my arm was on the window sill. At about 40 mph, the door was really shaking. I figured I didn't get it latched as good as I thought, so at a stop sign, I slammed it a couple more times, then rolled on. On my way home, the door latch seemed to be getting worse.

After I pulled into the driveway, I really needed to investigate this door deal. What I quickly discovered was that the door was actually latching to the door post really well! With the door latched, I could push and pull the door and the panel behind the door in and out along with the door. This can't be good!

So I pulled the carpet away from the floor behind the door. Yep, sure enough, that floor was rusted through bad. There was also carpet along the wheel well. After pulling that, the edge of the wheel well and the side of the truck was also rusted bad, to the point the entire wheel well was separated from the side of the truck. Then I opened the hatch and pulled the carpet from the floor back there. Yep, rusted away away and separated too. The only thing holding the entire side of the Ramcharger on was the door latch, the door hinges, the roof (which was a bolt on deal) and the very end of the area around the lift gate. With the door open, I could move the panel behind the door in 6" and out 6"! Guess it was time to start driving something else! I had a few to choose from.
I did make some good money off the 4x4 stuff.

 

I was 15 in 1966, I was hanging out at the local country store when this older guy( he was about 18 ) stopped in to get a Coke. I knew he had a cut down 51 Dodge "woopie" as we called them setting out by his Dad's barn, had set for a couple years. I ask him about it and he said $5 and it's yours. It so happened I had helped make hay the day before so I had a few hard earned bucks so I bought it. Another buddy came in about that time driving his old mans 54 Ford pickup and offered to pull it down to Grandpa's barn yard about 4 miles away for me. We borrowed a battery, dumped a little gas in the "gas tank" and took off. I had checked and it had spark at the points so when we got going good I turned on the switch and popped it in second (didn't know shit about Fluid Drive) went about 1/8 mile and the trans broke in half! Nothing to do but keep going , we went about another two miles and the rear end that was chicken shit welded to the shortened frame broke loose! Got it pulled of the road, as luck would have it we were close to my older cousin's place and he brought his tractor over with 3 point hitch so we chained to rear up under the frame as best we could and took off down the road with me standing steering the front wheels. We done pretty good until about a 1/2 mile before Grandpa's place when we came to a little hill in the road and the rear end caught on the hump, jumped the woopie in the air almost hit my cousin in the back and threw me off into a creek by the side of the road. I got banged up a little but survived. After that we made it to the barnyard with no more trouble. I ended up selling the radiator, engine and steering wheel off the piece of shit and junked the rest. Didn't like Mopar's before that and still don't!!

 

Or the coil not connected to power. That one is me.

 

or when you tried to start the 1929 Chev you are restoring , with your best mate watching and you forgot
to cut out a hole in the new gasket you made so smartly between the Carby base and the manifold

 

Who’s ever started the engine in their project car, only to discover it was in gear, and watch it take off out the garage door? Luckily a little tree was able to stop the coupe not too far out the door. Wasn’t me, but I’m related to him.

 

Or maybe worse, starting it in gear with it facing into the garage. Saw that happen once as well when I was really young. A hot rod T touring.

 

I've told this before, but it's the power of commraderie. Out street racing one night, our cohort scattered his Bowtie block 377 SBC. I mean, scattered. Oil, chunks. Bob went and shagged a garden hose left out in the easement and we tied the car and my truck together and dragged him away before the law showed up. On our way home after dropping him off we stopped and bought him a sympathy card at a Rite-Aid, "So sorry for your loss" and we both signed it and he mailed it to him. That was in the late 80s and he sez he still has the card but had to act like we chapped his ass a little. What are friends for?

 

I hear tune for "Outer Limits"

 

Buddy owned a towing company , I had an old pickup , parked at his place . He was a prankster , he raised the hood and swapped coil wire for a plug wire in the distributor cap . . It took me a few minutes of researching to see the issue .So I’m out on the bike late one night , headed home . I see the tow truck in the lot unattended . I slide under the Chebbie fuel tank was in the cab , just as the fuel line exited the cab was a rubber hose . I put a hose clamp on that hose and tightened it until it almost shut off the flow . Next couple of days I stop to see what’s up on the way home . The tow truck is in the garage bay front of the engine torn apart . I ask what’s up he says , “ I can not figure out what’s up with this damn thing . It will run at low speed fine , I reach 20 mph and it’s dead , quits . I have replaced , points , condenser , rotor , fuel pump , now timing chain inspection . “ I stood there I few minutes thinkin “ oh shit ! He is going to be HOT when he finds out ! I told him I can fix it in 2 minutes ! Look at the fuel line leaving the cab ! “ I saw him getting a creeper . So I beat feet to the old bike hoping she would hit on the first few kicks and I was gone . Next few days I stopped prepared to throw hands . He starts laughing saying “ well I guess I have learned a good lesson , don’t screw with a nutty bastards stuff ! “ He never messed with anything of mine again .

 

I have spoke of this from a different angle before.
Cars before '55 '56 were running 6 volt systems.
Most folks knew the angst of cold wet mornings.
If the old heap had not been treated to service in the fall, Winter freeze could wreck the day.
Jumper cables were not marketed like today. We hadn't even invented the word 'winterize'
But the cars were fitted with big enough, and sturdy enough bumpers, to give or take a shove.
No street/road is level perfect flat. Now and then, the cars might dip or rise.
The pusher catches onto The now running heap.
The funny stuff is, the good Samaritan between the two cars Jumpin' and Shovin'
Yelling icy cold directions to the front guy. To get the pair apart

 

Nice one, as said “pay back is a bitch”

 

This is more like an example of what did not happen, due to the times.
It was not a set rule and it could be at any setting.
The reply when you say "I gotta move that car"
"Keys are in it!"

 

Reminds me of this. It happened with an old car, 'cept the car was newish when it occurred. Back story
is I was working for Dad at the salvage/shop on my days off from real job and after working all night I went to the shop.

Lots of auto trans replacements with used units back then and I was doing a cast iron PG in a Chevy late in the day. Remember I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, laying on a creeper with a really long 1/2" drive extension, u-joint, 9/16 socket and ratchet overhead to reach the top center trans to block bolt.

Woke up with a sharp pain and big knot on my forehead. I'd gone to sleep, everything fell and something smacked me really good. Rude awakening.

 

My brother used to work at what was originally a nice, big full-service filling station with two repair bays. By the time he was working there it was a self-service station with the repair bays leased out to a lone wolf mechanic. The mechanic was pretty quiet and kept to himself and didn't say shit to my buddies and me when we rode our bicycles down there to check on my big brother. He had a long-term project in there, an El Camino or similar and he had rebuilt the engine and was ready to reinstall that sucker.
He asked my buddies and me to roll the ElCo under the suspended engine hanging from a small A-frame with a block and tackle setup. The A-frame wasn't tall enough so he had it up on some cribbing.
Anybody guessing the outcome yet?
We gently, slowly roll the elco under the engine. Unfortunately, he didn't have it quite high enough and the flywheel bumped the radiator support. In super cinema slow mo the a-frame leaned forward, sort of hesitated for a moment. The mechanic's voice was much higher than normal as he said "STOP" about a dozen times, separated by every cuss word he knew. Mike and Rick and I pulled back on the elco. Too late brother.
That a-frame slowly at first, then faster as it tipped, tumbled forward. Slamming the SBC pan first into the old, grubby worn concrete. I thought the dude was gonna cry. What a fuggin' deal. My buddies and I all looked at each other in silence, the mechanic, near tears kneeling near the damaged engine.
We sort of tiptoed out of there without a word.


As they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

 

When you find it please come over and help me find all the stuff that I KNOW is in my shop but I haven't seen in ages.

 

I'm 17 here, conked out on the floor after putting a transmission in my Mustang. Mom & Dad came home and couldn't help but snap a picture.

 

I was working on my 53 Buick Skylark around 1975 , was rewiring it to make it run after an engine fire that burned all the under the hood wiring. Got it wired and pushed out in my driveway facing my front proch. Primed the carb and leaned over into the engine compartment to grab the throttle to open it to start it, Buicks had to be opend to start. So I'm standing infront of the car gassing it when the torque convert filled up and the car climbed up my front porch stairs the hood was pushed closed by my porch , it closed down on me and there I was staring at the fan almost rubbing my stomach; I was stuck, so I looked around and thought if I can choke out the carb the car will stall out and I'll be free, maybe. I choked it out and the engine quit growling, the 53 Buick climbed back down the porch steps and I got out OK. The porch needed 1 4x4 support replaced and I learned to "Put it in Neutral" that day. JW