I can't believe that "HEADLIGHTS" hasn't been mentioned yet. What about "GREASE NIPPLES"... that one makes me giggle every time.
Nobody has said "Jack"?! Damn...I can't be the only married guy here. Prick punch...that's painful. I chuckle everytime I lubricate a hole during assembly. And then there was the time when i was 15, trying to get a bolt in a blind hole that I couldn't see while working on something with my dad. He said "Just imagine there's hair around it." That one has stuck with me. Off topic, but when my son was 5 we got him a baseball gear bag, and in it was a mesh sack for holding stuff...we loaded it up with baseballs. So naturally, it was a Ball Sack. Me being the funny, funny guy I am, said "Here you go son--all loaded up. Go show mom your new ball sack." So Boy Wonder walks into the bathroom where mommy is doing her makeup and says "Mommy! Look at my ball sack!" I still laugh about that. She still doesn't. -Brad
When I was a lift mech anything that made it stick was 'acumpuckie' & if it made it slick it was 'wienerslide' Al
these are pretty weak but haven't been mentioned yet: CHANNEL MOUNT PUMP BALL JOINT SHACKLES -if you're kinky SLOT??? I know, I know, time to quit.
Several years ago I was calling several of the local machine shops to find out "How much of a valve job was on some Chevy heads." The last place I called, a woman answered the phone and I asked how much a head job was - then I laughed and she hung up.
It was icecream and stop talking about my personal life... OK, slightly different pastime, but I shoot a lot of pool, and I am sure everyone has at some point. Here goes, think I squeezed in a few double meanings.. I do the lines in my head, figuring out all the angles, I grab the butt of of my stick feeling the smooth grain of the shaft. Slowly I get down on the green, line up a shot, gently let my stroke out, and follow through as the balls roll, and manage to sink the pink, which kisses the eight ball in the side. And the old legend from the wonderful game of snooker. If you're snookered on the pink for the red, shoot the brown. Applies to women AND snooker.
Reminds me of a joke: This gay penquin take his car to the repair shop to see about a leak....the penquin tells the shop owner, "I'll go across the street to some of these devine stores you have in the area while you look at my car."....the gay penquin tries out an ice cream shop and the ice cream is so good that he makes a mess out himself eating it,....... it is running all down the front of himself.....directly, he makes his way back to the car shop and asks the owner what he found out about his car.......the owner says, "looks like yu blew a seal!"........the penquin looks down and says, "No, I've just been eating ice cream!"
That joke reminds me of this joke: Guy goes to work looking all dejected and sad and his buddies ask what's the matter. "I got all drunk last night and blew chunks and I just feel awful about it". Trying to cheer him up his buddy says "Hey, that's not a big deal. I get trashed and get sick half the time" Guy say "No, you really don't understand - I BLEW CHUNKS" "So what, barfin' isn't such a big deal" The hungover guy looks him straight in the eye and says "Chunks is my dog!"
The way some people talk about wasting bandwidth, and costing money for OT posts you would think the HAMB was paying 10 cents a character! If it is too expensive to have a few pages of BS once in a while we should find cheaper service. CHAZ
The Jalopy Journal
