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married guys vent thread...

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by slepe67, Feb 21, 2008.

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  1. hotrodladycrusr
    Joined: Sep 20, 2002
    Posts: 20,765

    hotrodladycrusr
    Member

    Compromise is the key, but I think you know that....she might not;) Lets just say you both will have Sat and Sun off this weekend. At the begining of the week let her know that you NEED to spend a full day in the garage and which day in the garage would work better for her schedule? Then plan the other day with her. I can completely understand her wanting to spend at least one day on the weekend with you, sounds like she loves you:D She should also be able to understand that YOU need alittle space on that same weekend to do something that really relaxes and rejuvenates you for the upcoming week.

    Also, if she doesn't have a hobby may I suggest scrapbooking? It's very addictive and timeconsuming.:D
     
  2. 56sedandelivery
    Joined: Nov 21, 2006
    Posts: 6,694

    56sedandelivery
    Member Emeritus

    I never get any of that kind of grief from my wife. She knew how much cars were a part of my life before we got married. It's my 15 1/2 year old daughter that I get it from. I actually wonder how much of that actullay comes from my wife; she just does'nt say it to me.
     
  3. Benjamin
    Joined: Jul 25, 2006
    Posts: 28

    Benjamin
    Member

    God speed daddy-o.:eek:
     
  4. T-Roy
    Joined: Aug 12, 2006
    Posts: 931

    T-Roy
    Member

    I was going to reply to this as "Problem is he's already married...", but maybe not a problem.

    She should read Dr. Laura's book on marriage... It really gave my wife a different view about understanding men. Take the advice for what it's worth. I just know it worked for us.


    Or, have her talk to Denise.... :)
     
  5. JeffreyJames
    Joined: Jun 13, 2007
    Posts: 16,627

    JeffreyJames
    Member
    from SUGAR CITY

    I have only been married for a little over a year, but I have not seen any problems yet. My wife Davina is very supportive of my hobbies. When I am not out in the garage working, I try to interest myself in things that she likes because I know she does the same for me. The one thing that I do find myself doing which I need to curb a bit is, that I talk about cars even if we go to dinner or are doing something unrelated. She has never had a problem with it but, we have a long way to go in this relationship so I don't want to start that shit now. Also, my plan is to have one finished or at least driving car done before we have kids.....so I can get out of there in a hurry!!! Just Kidding.
     
  6. rustydogs
    Joined: Nov 9, 2006
    Posts: 309

    rustydogs
    Member
    from canada

    wife is cool .. buy what i want and build when i want.. i think thats why we get along..
     
  7. skyrodder
    Joined: May 7, 2005
    Posts: 1,925

    skyrodder
    Member

    my wife has no problem with my car/hobby, we have a 4 year old lil one, so she is in good company.. i guess i'm lucky
     
  8. narducci
    Joined: Jan 3, 2008
    Posts: 194

    narducci
    Member

    I will be married 38 years this summer. My 3 kids are grown and we have plenty of time for ourselves now. But whenever there is a conflict, I tell her "you knew I was an asshole when you married me". she agrees.
    Really, I try to keep up with the honeydo's and she allows me plenty of time for my hobbies. And I have plenty
     
  9. Roothawg
    Joined: Mar 14, 2001
    Posts: 25,770

    Roothawg
    Member

    I'm just gonna fwd this post to my wife.......no comments from me. She checks the hamb from time to time.......
     
  10. Deadbird
    Joined: Jul 28, 2005
    Posts: 1,189

    Deadbird
    Member

    My wife's working on her degree now. Class one or two nights a week and study the other nights. Seemed like a good plan in the beginning, but trying to squeeze in all the other junk with kids and all, didn't really free me up too much. If it's just the two of you though.....
     
  11. Gregg Pellicer
    Joined: Aug 20, 2004
    Posts: 1,347

    Gregg Pellicer
    Member

    All I know is DIVORCE worked just fine for me.My wife was all about racing & hot rod's when we were dateing.Once we married she turned it off like a switch bitched at me to grow up that racecars and hot rod's were a waist of time and money that could better be spent . GREGG
     
  12. hotrodladycrusr
    Joined: Sep 20, 2002
    Posts: 20,765

    hotrodladycrusr
    Member

    You said this for effect right...cuz you don't really believe women don't have real hobbies or interests do you??
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  13. I tried that with my wife and she promptly reminded me that I would still pay all those bills and more after she divorced me...

    My wife knew I was into cars, trucks and bikes before we even thought about getting married. She has her hobbies also and I am more than happy to support her and expect the same from her. I help her with her photography and scrap booking and she helps me in the garage when I need a third hand.

    What makes things work better is planning ahead. Very rarely does one of us spring something on the other. If I know of a car show a few months out, I bring it up then, not the day before the show. If I have a project I need to finish I let her know I will need "X" amount of hours or days to make it happen, if I'm in a crunch she will help out as best she can.

    But then again, I'm home every night and every week end, If I had your schedule I can't say that I would want to work on my car as much as I do now.
     
  14. Alex Yohnk
    Joined: Sep 7, 2005
    Posts: 826

    Alex Yohnk

    I got lucky. I'm an insomniac, and my wife and daughter go to bed early. I hang out with them during the day, but after 9pm, I'm in the garage.
     
  15. stude_trucks
    Joined: Sep 13, 2007
    Posts: 4,752

    stude_trucks
    Member

    Cars are cool and definitely worth making time for if it makes you happy. But, keep in mind, no matter what, people are always way more important than cars. Trust me, when it comes down to it and you lose somebody, you rethink all kinds of stuff real fast. My wife is great, lets me work on my stuff much more than I probably deserve to, wishes I had more time to spend with her and our son (me too!), etc. But, she still is reasonable about it all and I try to be in return. But, I had a good friend pass away a few months back and even though I still really like my projects, I realized that that stuff is just material things. Cars can come and go, but people are people and when they, they might go fast by choice or not and you might never see them again and you might wish you had spent a little more time with them. No hard and fast rule here, just try to keep it in perspective and decide what is really important in your life (short term and long term). As some have mentioned, you might want to figure out a way to let the cars bring you guys together verse drive a wedge between you. If nothing else, frame it in a positive light instead of negative and let her understand how happy it makes you and I am sure she would have an appreciation for that.
     
  16. happy hoppy
    Joined: Apr 23, 2001
    Posts: 2,327

    happy hoppy
    Member

    been married 12 years, and she never gives me static for working on cars, even when the guys are over and were making a lot of noise.
    she is grateful that I don't drink, smoke, or watch ANY sports on TV or otherwise.
    she says if she needs me, all she has to do is walk into the back yard and there I am.

    BUT! she knows she comes 1st in my life, she knows I would dump it all if I thought it would in between us. I can replace my cars and tools, but my wife is one in a million and I am keeping her.

    explain it to her this is who you are, you need to create and cars are your medium.
    I am sure she has a strees outlet, shopping, TV, explain this is how you cope with the stress of work, bills etc.
    when its too cold or wet or you just don't feel like working on the car, spend time with her, she will remember it.
    make here feel like she is No.1 and everything else comes 2nd. she will come around.
     
  17. Kramer
    Joined: Mar 19, 2007
    Posts: 911

    Kramer
    Member

    I didn't read the whole thread so this may have already been mentioned. Communication!!!!! Let her know several days in advance that you plan on working on the car on this or that date. She can't read your mind. I have been married for 22 years and sometimes still forget to tell my wife what my plans may be for a weekend or something. Things go much smoother if I tell her what I plan on doing.
     
  18. ems customer service
    Joined: Nov 15, 2006
    Posts: 2,652

    ems customer service
    Member

    Mine Kind Hates Cars And Hates Junk Yards, I Have Told Her There Is No Vacation With Out A Junkyard Stop. Have 2 Girls 2 &4 They Usally Like The Junk Yards Till They Get Tired, But Cruz Night The Little Girls Cant Wait To Get In The Dodge And Go Cruzin They Wifey Then Has To Come Along And Sometimes She Like It. But She Thinks The Dodge Is Junk And Piles The Weekly Trash On Like She Is Tring To Give Me A Hint, But She Stop Asking About The Cars I Buy, Just To Many To List. I Did Give Her Some Of The Parts I Did Not Want So She Could Sell Them At The Swap Meet And Make Some Money, Better Then Me Just Givng Her Money, On Her Parts She Has The Best Customer Service At The Swap Meet.
     
  19. Old-Soul
    Joined: Jun 16, 2007
    Posts: 3,789

    Old-Soul
    Member

    Does She Hate The Over-Use Of The 'Shift' Key?
     
  20. <TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" width="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">
    I got divorced.
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    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
     
  21. 35WINDOW
    Joined: Jul 7, 2005
    Posts: 454

    35WINDOW
    Member

    My Wife and I have an agreement-I work on the Car on Saturdays (all day) and spend Sundays with her-she tolerates my passion (and is jealous of that "Car"), but she loves me and knows this is what makes me happy.

    I make sure I take Vacations with her(I hate Vacations, I'd rather be working on "that Car"), but we have a great time, and she gives me two days to work on it when it is a three day weekend-I think I'll keep her-

    This is the third time around for me (they say the third time's a charm)-
     
  22. shook
    Joined: Mar 19, 2006
    Posts: 137

    shook
    Member
    from austin, tx

    Everyone said it, communication is the key.

    My wife knows how important my projects are but I also know how important our time is. It's why I got married.
     
  23. 35Chevy.com
    Joined: Nov 27, 2007
    Posts: 542

    35Chevy.com
    Member
    from New Jersey

    Training its all about the Training LOL

    Its about communication, and understanding.

    After over 20 years of marrage I have learned that it's not hard to make a woman happy; a husband onlt needs to be.....
    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined!
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate
    44. compassionate
    45. give her compliments regularly
    46. love shopping
    47. be honest
    48. be very rich
    49. not stress her out
    50. not look at other girls
    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
    51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
    54. Never to forget...
    *birthdays
    *anniversaries
    *any and all arrangements she makes

    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
    1. Show-up naked
    2. Bring food!
     
  24. Django
    Joined: Nov 15, 2002
    Posts: 10,198

    Django
    Member
    from Chicago

    Listen to Denise.

    My first wife hated my cars. That's first as in EX.

    My wife now is really understanding of all of the things that pull me in 10 different directions. I try really hard to spend time with her and make sure she is happy cause I love her.

    You're gone more than half of the year. What do you expect?
     
  25. brewsir
    Joined: Mar 4, 2001
    Posts: 3,278

    brewsir
    Member

    HAHAHA no shit!
    My wife used to pull that crap too...and I realized I was spending almost every evening in the garage..so I quit for awhile and turned into a nasty rude sob....she sent me out to the garage to get right working on cars ...I guess it's about like anything in life...moderation is the key to a happy life! Now I work nights and rent a shop so I can play days while she's at work! Oh yea...night shift allows a lot of time for kids stuff too....I have 4 and never miss games,auditions,school stuff etc. ....but I have missed Paso a few times,Bonneville most times,and a whole bunch of other crap that isn't nearly important as family!
     
  26. pitman
    Joined: May 14, 2006
    Posts: 5,148

    pitman

    I'm w/Happy hoppy on this. If you support her dreams and happiness...then she will in turn want to see you happy too.
     
  27. Stevie Nash
    Joined: Oct 24, 2007
    Posts: 2,999

    Stevie Nash
    Member

    Read my bio... hope your's doesn't end up the same way...
     
  28. rstanberry
    Joined: Dec 22, 2007
    Posts: 202

    rstanberry
    Member
    from terrell tx

    Helps if you're on the second (or more) marriage. I think they're more forgiving. I'm on the second myself (21 yrs now) but she still sometimes takes exception to all the time I spend in the shop. I just remind her that I dont hunt, fish or play golf and she always knows where I am. The ex-husband was a big hunter and fisherman so that helps some (I think). Still have to compromise though. Good luck
     
  29. 1931S/X
    Joined: Apr 5, 2007
    Posts: 667

    1931S/X
    Member
    from nj

    its all about comprimise and moderation.
     
  30. injectedA
    Joined: Apr 27, 2002
    Posts: 590

    injectedA
    Member

    you guys are soooooooo dead!!! slepe67? 32 posts? It’s a setup!!! edit any and all derogatory comments about your other with those of love and friendship. It’s that or never sleep. DAMN!!! It could be bigger than that. A women’s conspiracy to completely eliminate the HAMB!!!

    HONEY? you there? I love you! these guys saying this stuff were only kidding, you know? that guy stuff?

    “What’s that? another beer? oh hell yeah! and bring one for yourself to!”.

    “oh no!, you know I was joking, right? I’ll get you one right away with a coolie, can’t have your little fingers getting all cold, just let me put this feather duster away.”

    “nooooooo, I don’t wanna work on that car tonight, it’s all about you and I precious. Isn’t American Idol on tonight?”
     
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