Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

Much better to rock on your heels. That way you get a nice tan on you gear

 

After reading this, I'm sure that I'll be able to build a rod with complete success the first time.

Perhaps the header should be changed to "FNG's....read this first"

Roger

 

When your nieghbor complains your getting too much junk and making too much noise in your shop, drag home another project
and park it where he can see it ,rattle can paint on full side NOT JUNK.
Then go roll a couple of 55gal. drums outside and start building trash
burners for all your friends using air chisel.

Next time you need to mix paint don't clear a spot on your bench.
take it in to the kitchen counter.

Put a 4x4 block under a car that's about to fall. Use your thumb on the end of the block to line it up.

When drilling brackets clamped in your vise, always use long drill bit
and drill from the backside.

Always buff cars with high speed and wear loose fitting shirt unbuttoned and not tucked in.

You can see much better to weld without that dark ass mask.

Fix engine knock with radio knob.

No need to fix your brakes as long as the hand brake works.

 

if yer workin in a cold ass garage in the winter time...dont forget to use some of the natural heat that comes off'n yer grinder or cut off wheel sparks...just aim 'em at yer flannel shirt or sweatshirt (this is AFTER the beer is set down in a secure, non-spill location). That way you'll get the benefit of the sparks heat, AND heck, maybe if yer luckey enuff, the dang thing will catch a-fire...and you can roast some meat er somethin'....brats...beer....

 

When cutting sheet metal with a cutoff wheel be sure to stand in line with the cut so your T shirt catches fire instead of anything really important.

 

Grade 2 bolts will work just fine for your cherry picker when yanking that big block and tranny. Ever see an old man high jump when that sucker hits the floor? Little bondo will work wonders on dented sheet metal.

 

you know those annoying little rings on the end of your impact gun? rip those things off!! all they do is slow you down when you are trying to change a socket. they really get in the way when you are using a wobble socket.

 

I ALWAYS put on a new set of jersey cloth gloves when I'm doing ANY deep drilling or lathe work. It allows the twisting metal to hook onto & into the gloves and challenges me to try & keep my fingers attached to the ends of my hands.....

Paco

 

Be sure to pull that box of oddball nuts & bolts off of the firewall with one hand so you don't have to set your beer down, while you pull the box down you watch that 5/16 nut fall down the carb. of your band new Flathead.

OLD HEMI

 

When a bug lands in the paint Just lay 2 more coats over it to smooth it off.

when using spray paint dont look for the hole where the paint comes out just push down on the top and see where it shoots youve got a 50/50 chance of not getting hit

when driving onto ramps to change the oil leave the car in neutral with no ebrake on. It wont go anywhere once its at the top of the ramps since there flat on top.

Never connect the Trailer to your truck hitch before you go to load your hot rod its fun to start driving up the ramps and all of a sudden see the sky and start driving up a hill to try to get your trailer back down onto the ground HAHAHA This was a fun time man

Wear a big Gold chain around your neck with a huge Gold cross hanging off it when your drilling or using the grinder. "Dont worry god wont let anything bad happen to you if your wearing a cross"

Always wait 5 minutes to let the paint dry then its safe to touch it and move the part. I do this alot I just cant wait

Ive done alot of what you others are talking about hahaha fun stuff fellas

 

Speeking of th50/50 rule. In the air force they have done test to see how the 50/50 thing works out. They have renamed it to the 50/50-10. This means that there is a 10 percent chance that your 50/50 choice will work.

 

1). Scratched and pitted lenses prove to others that you wear your eye protection.

2). Blown out turbo mufflers can actually fool hot rodders into thinking you've got a built motor.

3). Old ass motors with bad rings should be considered Alternative fuel vehicles!

4). When cutting floor boards or fire walls don't waste the time to trace fuel lines, brake lines or electrical harnesses.

5). Wheel skirts are designed to keep a wheel in place, even if the lug nuts are not properly installed.

6). Before any quality work can get done, a rod garage needs to be outfitted with a large fridge and several pin-up girl posters.

7). Street signs are made of aluminum, and aluminum doesn't rust!

8). JB Weld is actually MAGIC in a squeeze tube.

9). Pain is temporary, glory lasts forever.

10). Suburban neighborhoods welcome loud demonstrations of horse power and as a special treat put on a big smoke circus for the kiddies.

 

Dang it, you caught me on that one. Now I have to clean out the garage to find that- what the hell was it now that I was looking for.

 

your prescription eyewear doubles as proper eye protection.

you dont need hearing protection if you only use your air hammer for less than 10 seconds at a time.

 

and always remember, a cross thread is a tight thread!

 

some of these are good ....hehehehehe

My theories

When using a 9 inch grinder (with no guard ) always look away when attacking the job , saves getting metal in the eyes

as most accidents happen on the road , try driving on the footpath

Steve in Oz

 

2334.) That pisser upstairs is way too far away when youre right in the middle of that tricky job. At some point neighbors must become accustomed to seeing your junk exposed in the car port.

 

When tuning your Hot Rod with auto trans. and no neutral safe switch, just reach in drivers window to fire it. you know you put it
in park??? Through the closed overhead door it went.

Put car in gear in shop, then cut shift linkage before you torch thru
floor,brake line,and then gas line. Car hadn't ran in 5 yrs. I knew
the tank was empty.

Always try to put a fire out by yourself . Only call the fire dept. after it's out of control.

If your aircompressor is broke, A full LP tank works great as backup
to run cutoff wheel for removing panels.

Starting fluid works great for seating tire to beads on fresh mounted tire. spray in fluid, throw in match. Best done indoors.

A 14 in. tire will beadup on a 15 in. rim. It just takes lots of air.

 

When you've diagnosed the starter solenoid on the ol' E350 as being tits up, don't reach thru the open drivers' window and check that's it's not really just in gear. No, that's for pussies. Just jump the solenoid... and then jump out of the way when the ol' bitch fires off.

 

Remember: crossed threads are better than no threads!

Nick

 

A good weld requires that the pieces are clean wash them with gas!

 

Primeing carb...have no small container to put Gass in??? drink the last of your beer,put the Gass in the bottle..prime carb...wont start...go get new beer..come back drink..Gass...Yuck..

 

Always remember...if it aint broke...BREAK IT!

 

I'm buying stock in beer.

 

If you're mig welding something and have to set the gun down for even just a second, be sure to set it down in a manner that it will fall over and possibly be just out of your reach, and so that the trigger will engage, spitting out both gas and wire for at least 5 solid seconds.

 

Shop rule number one has always been: "You must always ask if the person is okay, before laughing your ass off!"

 

I'll hold the chisel...when I nod my head, hit it.

 

When you work on a vehicles that have a magneto,

" Always and I mean Always place your pinky fingers and thumbs over the plugs so you can ground it out
since that's how Grandpa used to turn off cars since he didn't want to take 2 - 3 steps to turn the key off then walk another 2 - 3 steps to get back wrenching on the car>
I LIKE THE KEY METHOD ALOT BETTER.

" Mags make you feel warm and tingly ALL OVER "
and by the way O U C H

 

Always, always have a 3 shot mortar type firework around for when the Goodyear blimp is coming in for landing and you remember your shop is just down the street from the airfield. It may take a few tries, but you'll get it eventually. Remember, you're not just renting the building, you're renting the airspace too.

 

If you are drilling holes in the door of your rusted out beater parts chaser to rivet aluminum flashing to what's left of the door (to plug up the pneumonia hole) don't secure the door or shore it up, back it up with your hand. Bonus for wearing cotton gloves. Double bonus for making any comment along the lines of 'no, I'm sure I'm gonna miss my hand' as the drill punches through and wads your hand and glove up.


A Cross thread is as good as any 2 'good' threads.

Cross thread, better than locktite.

Always ask for someone to check the ground on the piece you are welding on, then strike an arc while they are leaning on your work holding the ground clamp.

Always wear your frayed out oil soaked insulated bib overalls when welding.

When brazing up the cheesy patch on your exhaust system to make it back to the race, make sure not to wear gloves.

When the DA sander warns over speed could result if it's operated at more than 90 PSI line pressure, don't bother with a regulator, their for sissies.