Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

When cutting thru your floor pan with the plasma cutter, always have plenty of flamable cardboard directly underneath it to catch fire. Do NOT use your beer to extinguish the flames!

 

Proper safety equipment is a must. My welding helmet (left) and my full face grinding shield (right).

 

NEVER waste an extra step, always just reach around the belt sander to turn it off exposing your bare fore-arm!

DO NOT wipe off the hydralic fliud on your hands and arms...there is no way the sparks from the die-grinder will ignite it!

 

The two most important things to have in the garage are duct tape and WD-40. If it moves, and it isn't supposed to...use the duct tape. If it doesn't move, and it's supposed to...use the WD-40.

 

Credit cards make great bondo spreaders, look at all the money you will save.

When welding, always wet your frayed jeans from the knee down, they are going to get wet anyway!!

 

Great thread, keep it going. I'm sure theres a few more good tips out there to live by.

 

When the local police come to your shop after midnight for making too much noise,always offer them a cold BEER>>>>.

 

When your neighbors kid comes by after the 4th of july, and leaves a brick of bottle rockets laying on the floor...


Always just ignore them.

Just weld up that pesky leaking exhaust. Then sit back under the truck and enjoy the show. It only hurts for a little while, and you have a funny story to tell after finishing off the last beer.

joel

 

When the Boss says you can test drive a customers Caddy, assume
he meant you and your bud can take it to Tijuana for the Weekend.
Don't bother knowing the owners name so when border patrol asks
if it 's your car, you say "no", and when he asks "Who's is it and does
the owner know you're taking it out of the country?", Again just look stupid and say "no", but you can call my boss and he'll explain everything, like why he hired us Idiots to start with. Then the Officer Says Shut the car off now and get out and come with me. Monday morning we had some SPLAINNIN to do!!!

 

If you are taking some medication that affects your coordination always have a few drinks to steady your nerves.

 

when you are doing bodywork and it don't look just right to you , Drink two beers steep back about 15 feet , open a nother beer , now it should look damn good!!!!!!!! TO YOU !!!!

 

Take it easy...if everything came out exactly as you had hoped, you wouldn't ever need to build another one.
The pursuit of something non-existent insures that you will continue the pursuit.

 

When you've just bought that staple gun for putting up insulation, just guess as to which end the staples shoot out of. Put your hand behind the other end to back the gun up. BTDT -bill

 

In my younger runnin days and nights I found this trick worked for Fugly Girls Too.

 

Here's one straight from GM:

If you've got a loud/strange noise, turn the radio up to make it go away.

 

Also:

Don't worry about leaks...if it STOPS leaking, then you have a problem...its empty.

 

9 & 10 When beer don’t work bust out the IRISH WISKY

 

An oven is a good place to hide a gun.
If your brakes are getting spongy adjust the volume up on your horn.
It may look like a rusty POS but at least it doesn't run.

 

I knew I wasn't the only one!

 

And, of course, consume all of your frosty beverages, too, while talking about anything but cars, thus actually slowing your progress, whilst at the same time enjoying YOUR goods, space and oxygen.

 

On your lunch break go to the nitrous oxide filling station and get bottle filleed. Throw maximum full bottle in back of truck and drive like crazy to get back to work before being late. Get back to work late,throw bottle in front seat,so no prick will lift it from you,lock truck and forget to crack the windows,even if the temp outside is 103 degrees. Get into work and get ass-eating for being late. While on break listen to loud explosion and see part of truck cab and roof falling from the sky. Call wife to see how much owed on truck,check to see if insurance policy was paid,beg for ride home,and last but not least order a new nitrous bottle>>>>.

 

now thats funny. i had a wood shop teacher that thought wd40 would fix ANYTHING even the movie projecter. good stuff.

 

When using a 5 pound sledge to drive your chisel, A.K.A. flat screwdriver, make sure to look away on the downswing to see where the dog is at. "Mother of all that is holy" is the correct way to follow this procedure, followed by the look, don't look, look, don't look dance around the driveway.

 

blame it on canada or china

 

I can't beleive this one has not been said yet!

When using a can of carb cleaner to make sure the ports are clear in your holley. ALWAYS watch the port on the left closely to see the spray come out the right port and then pour beer in eye to stop the burning. Save some to drink though!

Never use a pair of vise grips to hold a small object up to your bench grinder. It will be somewhere in your garage when you get done putting the electrical tape on the ends of your fingers!

 

if ur not sure if its still hot and dont wanna check ur self, touch it to ur girlfriends arm. then get mad at her for callin u an ass hole.

 

LMAO

That's just wrong (but funny).

 

When you're getting ready to take the maiden voyage in your new rod, don't worry if the oil pressure is zero. It should pump right up after a few miles

 

Always turn impact on high when tightening lugnuts and run gun unitll it stops turnig so wheels can't fall off.
Always check tension of drive belts by checking amount of deflection by pushing on belt with your finger while engine is running.
When priming a carburetor with gasoline from a container be sure to look down into carb. while trying to start engine so that you can see if it is going to backfire and shoot flames out of carb.

 

To save money, wash your parts in the toilet. You don't need any fancy parts washing gizmos.
If you don't want to dirty up your toilet, do what this chap did.
Use the toilet at Taco Bell. You're going there for dinner anyway...