Stuff you've learned the hard way

After 30+years of marriage some women still cant take a joke.

 

Don't take the old man's tools and screw tham up or there will be hell to pay!

 

1. At a swap meet you won't remember if you're still looking for a left one or a right one.

2. If you take a plug out to pump fuel out of a flooded cylinder, don't reconnect the lead prior to cranking over. Not me...my dad burned his lawnmower down this way.

3. Your doubts about whether what you are doing is going to end well are well founded.

 

When out on a lake in a boat with your brother and the engine floods. Make sure he doesn't try starting the engine when you're leaning over the motor, have the plugs pulled and a plug wire in your hand. The flames shooting out the back of the outboard may look cool, but being that close to them and getting shocked at the same time can scare the hell out of a guy, plus you risk throwing tools in the lake.

 

Always clean the threads in your block before assembling the new engine or water will come out of places it shouldn't because your torque readings are wrong.

When a tire starts to thump with a broken belt, it won't last to the next rest area.

A tire that explodes from a broken belt will take the rear fender off your pickup.

If a part was working just fine when you noticed it was getting worn, and you don't have the money for a new one, it will break the next time you drive the car.

Good enough usually isn't.

 

When changing a fuel pump on a chevy 350 always remember to replace that bolt on the front of the block with a longer one to hold the pump push rod in place. AND when completed ALWAYS remember to take that long bolt back out and replace with the short one prior attempting to start motor!

 

Always remember to clean off that fresh paint or powder coat form the frame where the ground cable attach's. The taillight ground wire will only hold up under load for so long before it overheats and catches fire.

Henry Ford quote - Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.

 

Never monkey with another monkey's monkey....

 

The height that you jacked up the car is just under the height of what you're trying to pull out from underneath it.

 

Don't do anything around your son that you don't want him to repeat. He'll do it in public and say "Daddy taught me how".

When taking terminals off of a battery, don't use a wrench long enough to short to the other post.

When a wire cup brush on a 4" grinder grabs your long sleeve shirt cuff, it travels rapidly up your arm to your armpit, and you look like you're in a straight jacket.

If it looks like something will be tight but will just barely fit, it's not going to.

And my lesson learned just yesterday..Don't lend your neighbor your plasma cutter, and tell him "just use it, you can't break it"

 

Don't put stuff "in a safe place" or you will never find it later... well, at least not until the day AFTER you bought and installed a new one because you couldn't find the one you put in that "safe place".

 

Lots of things but a few that seem fundamentally true:

1. "Deserve" has nothing to do with it
2. Sometimes being right comes at the expense of being happy
3. Those that know the least, know it the loudest
4. The gene pool desperately needs a life guard
5. Karma exists, and will remind you every so often
6. Gravity always wins

 

A wrench left out in the sun will be hotter than the ambient air temperature and will burn you.

 

if your big block powered car didn't have a Positraction before and it is raining the night you get it together do not drive it until it is dry out.

if you ignore the above advice don't jump on it along side a 69 Z/28 to impress them with your massive torque

insurance payout for a totalled 1969 Z/28 was $3500.00 in 1978.

 

Don't use a cut off wheel around your windows like when cutting out floor boards and quaterpanels, the sparks will melt the glass and leave pits.

Always verify work done by your machine shop. Just because they gave you new bearings with your crank, doesn't mean they are the right size.

Don't get rid of original sheetmetal just because you bought reproductions. Sometimes fixing the old sheetmetal might be less work than making the repro crap fit right. Keep the old parts until you're sure the new parts fit correctly.

Don't heat up the fittings on rubber brake lines if the fittings won't come loose. The brake fluid in the hose will explode.

Just because a weld looks good, doesn't always mean it is good. A cold weld may have no penetration, but look perfect from the outside. Check the backside to verify a good weld. (an experianced welder would know more about this)

Don't assume ANYTHING when using old parts to build a car. Just because an engine looks rebuilt, doesn't mean it is.

When a friend wants to sell you an engine that is "in storage" and "ran when pulled" doesn't mean it won't have a 1/2" of mud in the cylinders.

All 14" Ford wheels are not created equal. Some won't fit over stock disk brakes.

Depending on the color, don't sand your basecoat before clear. There a good chance you could disrupt the final color (even if it's a non metallic).

Nothing beats a high quality spray gun.

 

#4 is incorrect. In my experience it seemed the gene pool was in dire need of chlorine

 

Use protection.

 

When buying a project, check it VERY carefully for expensive future repairs. Even if you get the car for half the asking price, you probably still paid twice as much as you should have.

Buying recommended parts based on forum advice (not necessarily the HAMB) means you'll buy them twice...the recommended parts and the correct parts.

Building a non-Chevy/Ford project because you want to be different means you'll spend twice as much, take twice as long, and seldom be able to find the correct parts. You wanted to be "different".

 

Wish I'd read this thread yesterday!!

I also recently learned that small block Ford C4 transmissions do not use a "universal" bellhousing. The bell needs to match the flexplate - and nobody makes a starter for a 157 tooth flexplate wrapped in a 164 tooth bellhousing...it's all got to come back out!

And five quarts of transmission fluid somehow expands to approximately 55 gallons of fluid when it spills on your shop floor.

 

Write notes, draw pictures, or better yet take photos of every step before you take something apart. Don't assume you'll remember weeks later which way a part goes back in.
If you drop a part and can't find it, dropping another in "the same way" won't result in finding both!
Soak rusty parts in Kroil and wait a few days before snapping the heads off or messing up the screw tops.
If you are pounding, prying or pulling much harder than you think should be needed, then there is probably at least on more hidden clip or screw somewhere.
The harder a bolt is to get at, the more threads it will have to undo 1/100th of a turn at a time.
If a swap meet vendor is "not sure" if a part works, then he knows it doesn't
Take your old part with you so you don't get home from the parts store to find its just a little different.
Don't inflate a 40 year old cracked tire with your face too close.
Make sure your lugs nuts are not rusted on, before you get a flat on the road. Air in the spare, it actually fits the car or trailer, and WHEEL CHOCKS!!!
Don't try to outrun a cop on a motorcyle with your 2 HP minibike.
When angry, don't swing a hacksaw at a bag filled with full oil cans, (so I've heard...)
Never loan your wife, your dog, or your gun, and if you do, use that order.

 

my ex IS CRAZY......

 

Found at least 2 new ones today...

When bending NEW Speedway F1 front shock mounts, take off the protective plastic mesh from around the threads BEFORE you start to add the heat. The heat travels a long distance when you are heating the one spot.

When tightening a nut and bolt, never use a deep socket where you should use a wrench or shallow socket. When the socket removes itself from the bolt heat under extreme torque (from you) the resulting impact may be directly into your face. I split my upper lip from about 1/4" above my lip all the way into my mouth.

 

Going OFF! on people on the HAMB not realizing the F!~@#!ing WORLD is reading.. F@!# !it's the truth , hard lesson to learn..

 

I've waited a long time to reply to this......The answer?...........EVERYTHING i KNOW!

 

I disagree, the only thing better than a "naked girl", is a "naked crazy girl"!

 

When you are removing a steering wheel at a junk yard and you are pulling on it as hard as you can and tell your friend to hit the shaft with a hammer make sure that the nut is still on the shaft.

Never hit concrete with the grinding wheel.

never assume that the person you have turning the motor over know how to use the clutch. That was close.

when selling you bike. ( Motorcycle) Make sure if the person is going to take it for a test ride he knows how to ride.

never mix antifreeze together that you are not suppose to. You can ask my Exwife about that one.

 

Never assume you can make correct medical treatment decisions while drinking Tequila.
Never use Absorbine Jr. on a bad case of jock itch.
Laying on your back in an open bay shower in Thailand, so that the water can hit your crotch because of above treament, is a source of amusement to others.

 

Most experts AREN'T. I can't repeat that enough.
Most "experts" are NOT.

A jack without a spare tire is useless.

It's surprising how little $ it takes for trusted longtime friends to turn on you just to "cash in"

A spare tire without a jack is completely useless.

If you want to get rid of a pest, loan him something. If he owes you something, you will likely never see him again. Don't look at it as a loss. Its a cheap way to keep him from costing you much more.

A tire and a jack without a jack handle is completely useless.

The difference between "cool" and "uncool" is impossible to discern.

Always keep a fire extinguisher in every car.

A tire and jack and tool is useless unless there is air pressure.

Never pack the fire extinguisher where its hard to get to.

Always have a foolproof fuel shutoff.

Never trust anyone who says "the ground is hard, I drove thru it yesterday".

Never trust anyone who says "Oh, he doesn't bite"

 

There is ONE ecxeption to your spare without a jack dilemma above...my father found a way around it.

After a LONG day of bucking up wood and loading the '65 Carryall to the roof, we head out and VERY shortly after get a flat. We have a spare (it's behind ALL the wood and under MOST of it) and a jack...that loses pressure...so you HAVE to be quick. So, we unload MOST of the wood...left about 1/4 of a cord in the Carryall and begin jacking it up...no dice, the jack won't hold long enough to get the tire on. My father looks at me and I KNOW what he's thinking. I'm 15 years old, 6'4" 260 lbs of pure muscle...been lifting since I was 12. All he wants me to do is HOLD it in place, at the point where the jack starts to lose hydraulic pressure. I did, not sure how, I could squat around 600lbs and press around 800lbs at this point, so maybe simply "holding" the truck was even THAT much easier. Sheeesh, my dad bragged about that for years. The upside was that now I knew a good prank to pull on friends...I would turn their cars sideways in their parking spaces just to mess with them...

 

women cost a lot of money.