Event Coverage My Hershey Nightmare

I'll trade my Ukrainian grandmothers pierogie recipe for a good jack for my 1963 Cadillac that I sold to a guy in Sweden five years ago!!!!

 

how about a thread jack?

 

Periogie stand at Macungie after the fire. This is the landmark stand were i bought my first order back in the early 1970's.

 

reminds me of a chili story


Chili-Tasting Texas Style



INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER
Notes from an inexperienced Chili tester named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently I was honored to be selected a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, wht the call came. I was ***ured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that ****y, and besides, they told I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI #1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Chili
Judge One: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge Two: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Frank: Holy cow, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge One: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
Judge Two: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Frank: Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge One: Excellent firehouse chili. Great Kick.
Judge Two: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Frank: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting drain cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now - get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting stupid from all the beer.
CHILI #4: Bubba's Black Magic
Judge One: Black bean chili with almost no ****e. Disappointing.
Judge Two: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Frank: I felt something s****ing across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; coyote-ugly gal is starting to look HOT just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI #5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge One: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge Two: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Frank: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. To heck with those rednecks!
CHILI #6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge One: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of ****e and peppers.
Judge Two: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Frank: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous sulfuric flames. I messed in my pants when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my **** with a snow cone!
CHILI #7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge One: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge Two: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Frank: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like turds to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just **** it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI #8: Lester's Last of the Red-Hot Lover's Chili
Judge One: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all. Not too bold but ****y enough to declare it's existence. Judge Two: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild or hot.
Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 p***ed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.
Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?

 

Hey Bob- for me Macungie is all about the water ice stand right before you hit the car corral/back end of the swap meet- and watching the cars overheat trying to get out at the end of the day.

 

I was looking for that!!! thank you!!

 

oh no don' t let this thread die!! it hasn't been beat to death yet!!

 

What? Nobody has mentioned "Concrete" Charlie Benarik from Bethlehem.

 

Dude,this thread's already been 'jacked! Started out as not letting a hot rod into the Hershey meet and now we're onto something really important,like perogies

 

can put it back on track,it's almost halloween,so make some Perogies, melt some hersheys on top,add some green marshmellows, make a hershey perogie smore halloween nightmare. See? back on track!!

 

Somehow I think sweet potato or yam filled perogies would a better Halloween treat.

 

Or Jim Thorpe!

 

Mac, do you mean Mauch Chunk?

 

Uh-huh.

 

No one has mentioned goetta.. cincinatti's cousin to s****ple.

Brian

 

Cincinatti ain't in PA. Please stay on topic.

 

Why is everything about Ohio these days?

 

Although the guy should not have been an ***hole to you, I think everyone would agree that none of you would want someone in a Mustang trying to get into Lone Star or the Hunnert. Every year we have to ask folks in line to go park their car because it's got dubs or some 80's paint job or some such. But we're polite about it, and I always at least invite them to stay and enjoy the show. There's no excuse for being a **** when someone shows up at your show in something that doesn't qualify.

As for parts, I was always told Carlisle was the largest. I at least thought that when I was there for Spring Carlisle one year.

 

You should have turned off the key and told them that it quit running and sat there for 5 or 10 minutes working on it, maybe the ***hole would have had a stroke. But remember it is there show and we treat people that talk about ratrods poorly too!!!!!

 

I walk both Hershey and Carlisle and Carlisle isn't even close. Do both and let your feet to the talking! But anyway, we're talking s****ple here, please stay on topic.

 

I was gonna try Carlisle this year, but i heard they didn't have s****ple or peiroggies! I guess I'm definitetly gonna make McCungie(sp?)!

 

Mmmm S****ple. I wish we could get it out here. I always bring a cooler back from Western New York full of frozen s****ple when I go see my mom.

 

I heard that Ohio is the only state so flat you could watch your dog run away for 3 days..
oh wait this thread is about s****ple..sorry guys I forgot

 

Jerseyboy, Carlisle doesn't have s****ple but it does have ham and cheese! Did you ever see what goes into s****ple? It should be spelled S****ple.

 

it is, born and raised there, it's so flat you can see boarded up buildings and falling down rusted factories,as far as the eye can see.

 

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/10/lets-check-in-1.html

 

i vote for #3
http://mw1.meriam-webster.com/dictionary/pedantic
yep, i had to look it up

 

My votes for Elvis!

 

HAMB and S****ple???

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=304301

 

I bought a 35 5 window from a guy who made me promise i would not hot rod it====right.