married guys vent thread...

I wonder if our wives are related? I think mine is jealous of my car as well. She is cool sometimes with me spending a day working on it. I am lucky enough to get 7 weeks vacation at work, so I normally use it for that.

 

Tell her to think about all the time you can spend together cruising when it's done.

btw: thanks for your service

 

WOW.........What an old post brought back to life................

 

I've been married for 14 years and nerver had this problem guess I've been lucky. My wifes mother asked her why did she put up with my cars. Wife told her mom that if his head is under the hood of a car it's not under another womans dress. I got lucky she helps me build all my motors we have 4 kids and we all work on cars together its a famliy hobbie

 

I've been married to my wifey for 33 years. She has never been negative about me liking cars. Her motto came about years ago..."Cars or Bars" She realized that I could be the type to like both, but choese cars over bars. And besides she knew that I make my living with cars and they provide a pretty good living for her.

One of her compliants now...she thinks she is getting wrinkly and old (52, 5'2", 115lbs) I ask her, "Honey, what types of cars do I prefer over aanything else?", She answers, "You like those traditional, old school, ratty rod lookin' stuff, you'd rather have something not perfect and runs good more than a new one, kinda like me, right?" Exactly.

Mikey
www.MikeysPinstriping.com

 

I haven't read the whole thread but have the same issues. I have handled it multiple ways (so she doesn't get suspicious but I suspect she knows anyway):

1 - I ask her first what's happening on the like days off/weekends so we can plan our time together
2 - if she annouces she's going to go do something, I'm in the garage no matter what I have to do to get there during that time span
3 - I let her decorate/design the outside of the garage - she calls it her summer cottage!
4 - I "mix and match" garage work with yard work and such so as to keep her happy the honey-do list is getting done
5 - I try and put in at least 15 minutes a night or per day in the garage. I know that may sound funny but you would be surprised how much gets done in 15 minutes (and it usually expands to more than that) - try it, it works...
6 - I take her out to dinner or whatever "on car money" - stuff I've hustled and busted my knuckles on she gets a piece of
7 - this is the best one and has given me more of all you can think of great about a marriage 10 times over - when I sell a major project I'll give her anywhere from $200-500 (or more) so she knows, "hey, Honey, we can both benefit from my garage time". It's hers to use any way she'd like. The best one is next ....
8 - Get HER a car she can DRIVE - one time I did very well in a major project that I bought her a turn-key 65 Mustang, red, white interior - just handed her the keys! Sure, it was a steal but I was a little "flush" at the time so why not? She loved it, drove it for several years and eventually sold it at a profit - she got to keep it all! Know what happened? She gave me half - said I should continue doing good work in the garage - GO FIGURE!

It can be done, guys - just share the wealth, try and be mindful of compromise and you will be rewarded.

 

Thats exactly how it is at my house. I couldn't agree with you more. Let her know what she's gettin in to before you tie the knot. This isn't just a hobby its a lifestyle.

 

Gift wrap it.

 

Ding dong... who is it?.... it's for you........................... DIVORCE!

 

I'm not married but getting married in October. We've been living together for 2 years. I'll often be out in the garage working and she'll come out asking me when I'll be done and then I get a little upset that she's nagging. But I forget that we are in a house with a garage and she has to park in the driveway because the garage is my shop. I drive cars that sometimes unexpectantly run out of gas, battery dies, and she stays calm. That our house is partially decorated in motorcycle and old car schwag. She wants to have kids, but is hoping to get an old wagon to drive them around in. I'm pretty damn lucky. She may not get dirty very often, but she'll pump those brakes until her legs hurt.

Our compromise: she watches The Hills or her other shows, I'm in the garage.
I work half Fridays, I'm in the garage.
She's in a band, gig nights I'm in the garage.

Shoot, I can't complain at all.

 

My house used to be decortated with a lot of car shit, then we got married

 

10 years of marriage and 4 in counseling, we have learned how to live with it.

I have 2 kids 5 and 3. Two Race cars and two projects. (the model a, and a 71 chevelle)
I race 30 plus nights a year (usually travel) The calender is a great tool in a relationship.
The trick is who fills it out first. I usually schedule the races first and every Wed. night is racecar or hotrod night. It seems to be working. Communicate is the big thing.

 

My first wife was a country girl. Nothing wrong with that, but we were too different. Horses/Motorcycles, Trucks/Cars, Dogs/Cats, Oil/Water...lol.
Us getting divorced was the best thing, now we talk and enjoy a phone call now and then...hell, I even like her new husband!
My second wife was a friggin spoiled princess, married less than a year and I left her too....and stayed single the next 12yrs looking for "Ms.Right".

And I found her, my wife Laura.
Intelligent, compromising, common sense, funny as hell, damn good cook, loves beer and can even knit, sew and change her own oil!

OH, she's also the one who compiled that VERY long list of "Places To Go" for the
Lone Star Round Up for ALL YOU GUYS. (In My Signature)

Since I won't be subscribing to this already very long growing thread, IF you want to thank her for the list (and making a hotrodder like me a happy man), shoot me a PM so I can show her the appreciation all us guys have for an understanding woman/wife in our lives.

Laura, my own personal Cajun Texan:


(Obviously I'm happy to have her, I've had the bad, so I appreciate the great)

Enough mushy shit from me, I'm going to cruise the Classifieds.

Later,
~Jef

 

Mine says the car makes her smile! Lucky me!

 

Ding, Ding we have a winner! That is the correct answer Mikey! I'm going to have to use that one! Thanks man!

 

She's damn fine.
I can see you "get it"

 

Admit it... any time the wife buys something, you immediately equate that in your head to what car part you could've bought for that money. I'm lucky my wife of 27 years likes old cars too. She decided to sell her Morris Minor conv to buy my daughter a car, but I traded it for my 32 Austin roadster (those don't come along every day). She didn't give me a hard time and I eventually bought my daughter a GT Mustang, so she is happy. I spend every night in the shop while she watches tv shows that would make me barf. She comes to a few of my car shows and I go to a few of her dog shows. So far things are pretty good. She even likes my strange car friends and cooks goodies when they come over.

 

If you expect it to work you must make special time for her. Like every week when you are both off take her for breakfast . Plan on a couple of hours and dont talk about your car or look at your watch (Actually i ever wear one but) when you are with her. She didnt marry you so you could work on your car and you didnt marry her so you could work on your car. You were, like the rest of us ol perverts, after her body, but were disguising it as being a kind and caring individual. You actually got pretty good at it. You cant quit now. She wont take up your whole day. You might think I am nuts but if you put a couple of hours at the top of your mutual day off where she is the centre of attention, life will go a lot easier for you. It wont happen after one breakfast date but after 6 or 7 you will notice a huge difference. By noon the day will be yours and you will be able to devote your undivided attention to your project. .Or you could ingore this sound advice and spend the rest of you married life in conflict over your hot rod. For me I got too soon old and almost too late "schmart" but i finally figured it out. Also Never, no matter what, ever allow that morning breakfast deal to get sidetracked by pals. stuff you want to do or things you think are more important (but arent. )once she is confident that you wont ever mess with that you troubles will be over but you cant ever quit.
Now I know most you bubbas south of us are hardnosed rednecks but up here in the Great White North where we like a warm body to snuggle with in the cold cold winter nights we have learned to be a bit more proactive in our marriages. Jealous of your Hot Rod you say? Well why the heck wouldnt she be? You make it plain that would rather spend time working on what looks like a piece of junk to her than spend time with her. Use you head Bubba , a woodpecker does.

 

Can not help you. I have been married for 34 years. She knew i was a Drag racer when she met me. Knew how i felt about cars. Knew i would never sell my car to buy a house. Knew i would never sell my car just because we were having a baby ,we had 4. You just got to find one that understands this in the first place. My friends married Barbie Doll yuppie types and they are divorced. For me It`s been a wonderfull Life.

 

When I was active duty AF, I was gone a BUNCH! She's a car nut, too, so we'd work on the car(s) sometimes, and go do the things she wanted to do other times. Compromise sometimes. If you are gone eight months out of the year, she wants some of that four months to be you and her. Figure something out. She obviously plans ahead to do stuff. You both need to plan to do stuff together, and plan time for the car build, and stick to it. Pretty simple, really.

Nearly 25 years later, I figured we did something right. Still together, and wouldn't have it any other way. And, I still have the car I had when we got married, too!

 

a lot of things have changed since I started this thread. I had a baby, and sold my 67 Mustang, started my 32 coupe project. Last night, while I was researching for parts, my wife actually said she was glad I had a hobby, rather than be a couch potato, and that she was excited for me and my new project. Chicks like passionate men, regardless of what they're passionate about. Unless it's titty bars and porn, then the story might change a bit.

 

Somebody once said the secret to a happy marriage is you both have to give in 80%, or something like that.

 

Every time my wife even hints at me spending too much time on one of the cars, I quote Super Chicken - "Fred, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it." Actually, she encourages me to finish them all, she thinks that someday one of her cars might actually make it into the garage. (Sad, delirious woman!)

 

I have it easy in this regard. My wife works first shift and I work 2nd so I get to work on cars all day long while she is at work. I have a sinking feeling things will slow down in a month when my first son is born though. I will have to put a sanding mask on him and put his crib out in the garage with me.

 

VERY lucky, the wife that nagged, split for someone with no mechanical ability and a better salary. Ive since found THE COOLEST chick in the northeast, she was never around this stuff before, but LOVES everything about it, doesnt care what I do on my off hours. She knows that wherever i am, shes welcome to come with, and im glad to have her around. She nevr makes me feel obligated to do things with her, and for that reason I want to do things with her

 

I notice that most of the guys getting crap for excess shop-time seem to be at the early stages of the marriage/relationship. My wife and I have been together since '83 and she can't wait for me to go out in the garage. I do make at least an attempt to do stuff together and help out around the house. I mean, my wife has two jobs and deserves a break once in a while, so I help our son with his homework, help cook when she works late, and do dishes and laundry after I get home from work. It's give and take at our house. I have a freind who isn't so lucky. His wife doesn't work, and as soon as he gets home from work, she forces him to baby-sit their daughter so she can have some "quiet time". When she's done with that, they do whatever she wants, and they spend every weekend with her family, so he never gets to work on his cars, ride his ATV with his buddies, or anything else. I keep telling him to "sack-up" and put his foot down, but I think it's too late.

 

Just remember not to misrepresent yourself as well before marriage. I have been a certifiable car fiend since practically birth. I think I cam home from the hospital in a hot rodded `59 Edsel (390 hi-po, etc), always around some cool old car. When I met my second wife(1st wife was worthless), I was heavily into drag racing, sometimes 2-3 times a weekend. I lived within a 2 or 3 hour drive of 14 dragstrips, and would hit the 2 closest ones every weekend. Now, when I started campaigning for the girl, you know how we do: overload on attention, flowers, cards, phone calls, etc. She knew I was into racing, and cars, but she will tell you now that she didnt know I was that obsessed with them. If you are going to try to win the girl, start by letting her know exactly what your level of enthusiasm is. Mine may have still chosen to stay with me, but at least she would have been more accurately informed. I won't say I lied to her, because she knew at the time, I had 6 cars, and a trailer. My daily driver plus a race car, 2 parts cars, and the beginnings of my next 2 drag cars. I did overdo the dating process, as I called it a sort of campaigning. Like all campaigning politicians, I made a few more promises than I could keep.
I love my wife, and would not trade her for anything this world has to offer, and I am thankful every day that she does not try to make me give up my love of old cars. She knows she, our kids, and the household expenses will come first, and my old heap will eventually get done.
In summary, I guess honesty from the foundation, respect and communication will go a long way to making a happy marriage.

 

mine told me to buy the car she thinks its cool she can't wait to help..hell she'll even hang drywall if i ask

 

Any time I have ever griped (very rare) about my wife to my friends - they ALL tell me to shut up because I have (and I quote) " the most understanding wife on the planet". I pretty much work in the garage absolutely whenever I want - period!!!! Now before you think I am thumping my chest let me first say that I do try to be reasonable about it. When I get home from work - it's supper time. After supper - I try to spend time with the kids - IF the kids are doing homework and don't need my help I go out to the garage and sneak in a little extra time. I do make sure that I get back in the house at least an hour before they go to bed so we can play some games (lately "Sequence" is their game of choice) - then it's off to bed for the kids and the wife gets to relax and read while I go back out to the garage until whenever. Weekends are different - the only days considered off limits are the big swapmeet days or the big race events - she knows to schedule kids stuff/family stuff around these days. Even if there's an event - that conflicts - like swapmeets and kids soccer I still try to make the games. Also on weekends when I am wrenching in teh garage - when the kids walk in and ask if we can go get ice cream - then - BAM - the door gets shut - we jump in the old convertible and go have fun - I still cruise an old car and they get a treat - fun for everyone. Blending the family time with your hobby time - even if it's just to go get ice cream - is a homerun in my book.

When the wife plans a girls night out - I NEVER complain - wouldn't think of it - 'cause she never complains to me.

 

I was almost married once.....luckily the booze wore off before vows were exchanged.

-Lee
Atomic Radio
www.atomicpinup.com