What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

West Palm Beach Mososo Motorsports Park (now the Palm Beach International raceway)
Me in a stock 97 Z28
Him in a 2001 Black Honda Civic
Just chatting along..
civic Guy: So, whatcha done to her?
Me: Nothing. Bigger injectors and a better fuel pump. Thats it.
civic guy: What do you think it will run?
Me: I dunno.. Probably in the low 14s?
Civic guy: Wanna make it interesting?
Me: Why? What have you done to your Honda?
Civic guy: Just a little intake and exhaust work..
Me: (not taking the bait). No thanks.

The guy ended up running 12.03. I could hear the turbo screaming as he came up from behind me at the 8th mark. This was with my windows up and my engine screaming.
So.. BS.. zhe had a LOT more then a little intake and exhaust work.

 

But then again the record for a Pro Front Wheel Drive car is low 7.30's at over 200mph with that goofy looking setup!

 

Yeah, but that like saying that Amy Winehouse is real good in bed.

 

Yeah? and your point is? remember any guy can do the good looking ones, it takes a REAL man to do one like her!

 

There was a kid in high school shop class who was always talking about the "blower" on his car. He brought it in the shop one day to work on it. It was a 4 door 68 Dodge Coronet I think. Gran Ma's car. No scoops sticking thru the hood. He opens it. A mighty 318 with air. The A\C compressor was the blower. Musta been one of those disguised Paxton blowers.

 

So here's my question...

You don't want your car to 'squat' off the line, so you put a big ass wheelie bar on the back...

And yet... You have tiny-ass rear wheels and lowering springs....

Could you just get some stiffer/taller rear springs and a wheel/tire combo comperable to the diameter of the mystery-meats in the front?

There's some engineering missing the boat on that thing...

 

of course the kid with his moms civic will make the claim all the time that he runs in the 7's. with a street car,with almost no modifications but a stock exaust and a huge muffler. I have a friend who is running an 80's accord in the tens, I know how much work that was, and how many years it took, and it's no street car. he gets the little bs'ers at the track all the time. bla bla bla my stock civic will outrun your car, then he opens the hood,after which they usually shit their pants.

 

You have to understand that the bar is not a wheelie bar, but rather is there to load the front end, and that is achieved by the length and the fact that the little wheels are on the ground pushing upward. The standard rear tires are just along for the ride and the less frictional drag the better. They just keep the car going straight down the track.

 

Hey,alot of those old luxury cars could get up to some decents speeds,takes a while...but they get up there. My `79 Mark V with the 400 2bbl in it would do 120+,just not very quickly.

 

I was hanging out with Wilt Chamberlain and he was talking about...

 

At Carlisle one year my brother and I were selling a 67 caddy. We wrote on the windshield "This car had it's oil changed at the same place as one of Elvis's cars." What made it timeless was 2 guys 1 asked "Can you document that?" 2 "That don't make no difference."

 

One of the best I ever heard: A local very rich guy commissions an excellent local street rod builder to build him a 'street legal super-bad-ass Willys gasser Coupe'. About $200,000.00 later the guy has his car and it is NICE!! Blown 496" BBC, Lenco, 9-inch, full upholstery, killer show-quality paint, everything. This rich guy has never driven a fast car before in his life and when the street rod builder is delivering it to him (on a trailer) he says, "Be careful with this thing, it's not a Corvair you know!" The rich guy says..."What's a Corvair?"

The same guy took it to the drag strip a few weeks later. On his first run he went about 150-FEET and it got a little squirelly. He backed off and idled through the rest of the 1/4-mile. The car has never been seen since!

JG

 

Ive heard quite a few....

One dude I know said his 68 longbed ford with a "built" (stock) 390/auto with 5.13 gears and bald ass street tires could hook up and pop a wheelie, and out run my 72 torino 351cj. When I told him to shut up and try it, suddenly he was out of gas and couldnt waste what he had. I said "I'll fill up your damn tank if ya win" No reply......... and the truck was his dads.

Same dude said "That 390 is bored .80 over and has 60-1 compression, it'll blow the fuckin' heads off before the motor blows up........" ok

I went and looked at a 73 charger for sale that a dude at my school had. small block/auto, beat up POS. He said it was a "440 hemi with a 4-banger on top and 6 speed tranny" He only wanted $15,000 for it.

There was the dude that said his stock, worn out 305 80's camaro could beat my brothers porshe 944 turbo that was pushing about 300HP to the rear with 15 pounds of boost. We all made fun of him and as he left he done the weakest one wheel powerbrake before his car backfired and cut off. He got out popped the hood and said "Damn big blocks"

One dude I was doing a job for said he had an 82 el camino with a stock olds rocket 350 4-speed in it that would pop wheelies and drag the rear bumper. I said "Ok" to witch he replied "you think thats cool, you should have seen the wildcat it originally came in, I recked it racing one night"......

one night I was out riding around when a dude asked me about my car, I said it was a 351-c, he said "you know ford made them clevelands for a long time, but they used to call 'em 352's. I said in a nice way "No, 352 are fe engines, completley different" He got mad and said I was too young to know anything about it, and that he worked for "homer and moody" (thats the way he said it) and they built all the ford engines.....

 

RE: Front Wheel Drive:

 

Not really a HAMB friendly car, but I had a guy trying to tell me if my '69 Corvette SB Coupe (no longer own) was a "Shelby" it would be worth more. I explained that my car was a Stingray but he kept asking "yeah but is it a Shelby"?

Some people are just confused but they seem to be the ones that do most of the talkin'.

 

ihave 3.one involves my 59 el camino,ether a,i made it myself because chevy never built one like it or b, i know where there is a 58 el camino,from the factory. but i guess the urbal legend.about the 53 corvette for 500 smackers from the poor old women who's son bought it rite before the korean war,never came home.i've heard that one so many times with the phrase,"it's true cause i saw it myself" you just have to smile at these folks,unless there're ugly about it, which they do sometimes.bruce

 

One of my favorites is the street-legal wheelstander BS! We had one of those types that cruised the local strip in the early '80s, and it was a '63 Nova hardtop. Really nice car, had a stroked 350 in it, sounded freakin' cool - but no way in hell would it do a wheelstand, even if it had the assistance of a floor jack and dynamite!

 

Are you kidding, a good tricycle will do killer burnouts!

 

My stock Mazdaspeed 3 Raises the front end pretty good when I punch it.
I think it would eat most of the small block Mustangs I've had over the years for lunch. Plus it handles like it's on rails and gets 20-25 mpg.
I still love my rodney though.
I've learned some respect for those kids and there ricers. There's a group of them down the street. They are into everything fast. Mostly Japanese, bikes, cars, They know their shit and are just as in to it as any of us. They know how to do it all and a few thing I sure don't. They are pretty good eggs too. I go down and shoot the shit with them all the time.
They are just hot rodders of a different time.

 

She is fantastic. Back before she was famous, and I was in that English Pub band...

 

LMAO!!!!!!

 

For me it's my 65 Mustang. I get told quite often that it used to be "theirs". I ask them how long ago was that. They all seem to say 10 to 15 years ago. My dad bought the car in 1974. Then in the arly 80's gave it to his parents when him and my mom divorced, and then I bought it from them in 1996. They usually walk away pretty quick.

 

That would make me somewhat less of a man, then.

 

OT but...I was at the ROT rally in Austin last year. Had my panhead parked on 6th street and was barhopping on foot. I came back later to find a guy sitting on my bike acting like it was his. When I walked up and stood there he started asking me if I liked the bike because 'It's a 65 and they are the most collectible Harley ever made'.

I told him to get the F off or get knocked the F out.

 

LMAO!! that was some nice descriptive writing dude.I love this thread! .

 

there is a difference, the guys who build ones that are actually fast are tuners, the ones who slap on a park bench aluminum wing, stickers and a fart can, with no actual work,are ricers,those of us who work on old japanese stuff are now starting to be called old school tuners. front wheel drive, rear wheel drive,sideways wheel drive, any car that can get into the sevens at over 200 miles an hour is fast, and they have my respect. that doesn't come from bolt on crap at autozone. sorry to get off topic, I hear bs from the ones i call ricers all the time. it irritates me. I'm in the process of building a 250 horsepower 2.0 litre accord right now, thats 23 years old,and the kids who don't even know what a carb is are trying to tell me how I should build it. lol.

 

Amen, brother!

 

I argued with this prick about his Honda Civic.

A 93 Civic DD, stock suspension, street tires, with a 'GSR' motor (not sure what that means) that ran 10 flat with 4 people in it and a full tank of gas, oh yeah, and with him and a half tank it easily ran 8's

Oh yeah, and I'm the idiot because I called him on his bullshit

 

i had my old rail at a car show once and while at the food stand I heard one guy tell another guy that he had his "rail at the show", being a FED nut I leaned in to here what he had to say only to find out he was laying claim to restoring my dragster and that he's been well over 150 mph but is only showing it from now on with a friend (meaning me), I never saw this guy before in my life! some people have all the nerve?

 

How about a guy at a cruise night telling me that he had painted the flames on the car I was looking at...... the problem with that? I had painted them 2 years before for the owner of the car!!!!