What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

thats good, my friend who has the accord in the tens,has it on a tube frame, twin turbos, weighs almost nothing, pushing well over 500 horsepower, and it took years of tuning and runs to get over that number. yea sure that civic is running ten flat.

 

had a guy argue with me once about how Chevrolets were built by Cadillac. tried to explain the whole General Motors Buick Olds Pontiac Cadillac Chevy thing to him but he wasn't hearing any of it. Chevrolet is built by Cadillac.

I sold my Caddy to a guy I know. it needed some exhaust work when I sold it. he told me later that he went down and had a whole new exhaust made for it. I ended up buying it back later on and found out all he did was get the pipe welded back on to the muffler. nothing new at all.

this same guy told me about the new floors he had put in an old Porsche that his wife got in the divorce. he was complaining that she got the car and it sat in the driveway full of water and was rotting out all over again. I ended up buying the car from the wife and it was evident that it still had the original floors in it, as well as decent original carpets without mold or mildew so not only was the new floors B.S., so was the tale of the water inside. he even mentioned the replaced floors AFTER I had owned it and resold it. guess he thought I wouldn't know the difference.

I can't figure people out sometimes.

 

A little ot.
My greatgrand mother RIP. Had a 64 Peacock blue Mercury, Parklane or Montclair 4 door. The one with the roll down back window. White steel top and white vinyl interior. Lots of chorme. Beautiful car. I didn't know much about cars shen she bought new. I was 10. Later when I started driving she'd let me and my buddies cruise the tough main street of Cheney, Kansas. pop 1,100. You could shoot bottle rockets out the back window.
I noiced how much power the thing seemed to have. It had dual exhausts. Open the hood. 390....Police inteceptor. WTF. Started checking out what that ment. 10.00 : 1 compression, 4 barrel. 320hp. LOTS of torque. It was heavy so a little slow off the line but once she got rolling!! Hang on!! There were a few suprized Camero, Mustang and Dodge pilots. Me include. I had it up to indicated 120 one night. The old car just climbed right up there. She just floated. Good thing I didn't have to use the brakes.
I could turn this into a BS story and say it ran high 12s At Wichita International Raceway but it only ran Low 14s and high 13s

 

I seen a guy by my truck at a show. I walk up and hes talking to some kids telling them what motor was in it how fast it was ect. He kept talking when one of the kids asked who built it he said he did! they asked him to fire it up and he told them it had to cool down the starter was hot! I looked at him and called him out in front of the kids. then i told them i owned the truck and they didn't beleave me! So it was time for me to go I told him to get away from the truck pulled the keys out busted it off and left him and the kids standing. Some people don't have a clue.

 

the homo next door swears he has a 70's pontiac hearse with a factory v12 with 3 4brls

 

SEEMS THERE'S NO END TO THE STORY ABOUT THE RARE WHATEVER CAR ,BIKE,TRUCK THAT WAS OUT BACK IN SHED FOR 30 YEARS AND WHEN THE STORY STRETCHER PULLED OFF THE TARP, THE KEYS WERE IN IT..... "AND I PUMPED IT TWICE AND IT STARTED RIGHT UP!!!!! " so i'm do'in some thing wrong!!!!

 

you know "gas from the old days" never turns to varnish, and tires from then hold air 50 years,as well as batteries never go dead.

 

I was at a NAPA store open house. They brought in Michael Waltrips #15 Chevy show car and I heard some dork talking about how his S-10 with a built 350 could qualify for the race that weekend.

 

Right, but 'squat' is a result of wieght distribution and torque loads coupled with suspension give...

So, if you adjust the weight distribution, by slightly raising the rear end... Stock-height springs and tires at least as tall as the ones in front.

...And choose an appropriate spring rate... With stiffer springs to prevent settleing during launch.

Couldn't you pretty much eliminate the need for the training wheels?

Alright, if the car's super hot, you might still need the bar but I would think you would want to engineer the chassis for the launch as best you can before adding all the monkey-motion and weight to the back, right where you don't want it.

 

Yeah, this guy drives a tuned WRX as his daily...
I don't think I'd race him in the Supra. I'd be too worried about the embarassment factor... It's a no-win...

I have respect for the tuners... In fact, I've been running some complex EFI ideas by this guy... But it's still not my cup of tea.

 

This happened at Nats North in Kalamazoo about 1988,I have my model A sitting under a tree and me with it, an older guy walks up to me and says" I got one of these". "But it's alot nicer than yours" I say "OK thats cool, where is it I'd like to look at it" He says "Oh I didn't bring it,I called ahead to talk to the show sponsors and they wouldn't pay me to show here so I told them stick it and I left it at home". My favorite true story. Normal Norman

 

GM made 4 door hardtops and sedans... with 6 cylinders, and green paint, a bigblock coupe is cooler but it is the same car he was just not as lucky as you.

Some of my favorites include,

Those that can't tell a 68-69 Chevelle from a 68-72 Nova worse a 73-74 Nova but they are sure to nearly yell for all to hear facts about the world beater before them...

Every V-8 is a Big Block, every V-8 is a 350, every 350 is a rocket, every rocket is 350hp which why its called a 350 and the trans is a special part that only fits 350 rockets and its called a turbo 350.

With old guys every Big Block is 427 tall deck even though its really a standard 402 or better yet an actual tall deck but its only a 366 which can't be because a big block is 400 cubes or more. Ask them about 348's or even a 396 and they tell you those are small blocks... I've even been told by the Chevy faithful many times that a 366 is a Ford engine.

Every Lemans or Tempest is a GTO and 455 powered, every 455, is a SD and a Ram Air IV at the same time and original in 64 sometimes a RA V ( Thanks Two Lane Black Top) Original 67 Tripower GTO's are nice.

The latest good story was a local clown, he has a 69 Firebird that was originally a 6 cylinder, it has a 400 hood, a Six bumper and a 69 Camaro spoiler with 69 TA stripes placed out board of the 400 scoop placing them out farther than intended and at an odd angle... Though much worse off it reminded me of my own High school ride. Now I've seen it around town running out of time, but turning sharp corners and burning the tires in day time traffic so I thought I'd check it out... Figured it to be some kid... The car is/was forsale for $25,000 as an original T/A by a guy claiming to be a muscle car collector and professional restorer. I caught the guy laying down the story to a potential buyer at a show as I happened to be eye balling the car. I had intended to let him alone but he must have noticed the astonished look on my face or heard me laughing to which he gave me dirty look in return. Childish I admit but I couldn't help myself, so my buddy and I discussed the short list of tells that it was dressed up pigeon in front of the buyer.

 

About five years ago, my mom and I went to the store in my '55 Desoto. When we got in the car, I turnned the key and the damn thing wouldn't start. I openned the hood to see what was going on (turnned out to be a loose coil wire), some guy in his 30's came up to me in the parking lot and said... "Is that a SBC with the Hemi valve covers?" I said yeah, its also a '55 chevy concept car

 

Thanks for all the posts guys, man y'all have some good ones.

Here is the latest post from the man that inspired me to start this thread. His absurd claims can be followed on the "Why do t buckets get no respect" thread. His explaination as to his T Bucket running 6.70's (1/4)-

and here we go:

"ok ok no one believes me wat ever thats to but expected with how ever many thosands of opinion fly threw this site in one day
but the honest truth is
i have no frigge clue how fast it does go considering its got a modded 727 3s speed stock with over drive and a gear vender tail section witch doubles up the gears even in overdrive so really in truth i have 8 gears to mess with i only got threw 4 and i was over the line so she had PLENTY more rpms to fuck with
and actually the ONLY reason i know how fast it goes is i only tracked it once
it has no chute and only one single top loop after i was done the run track officials kicked me off for NOT being honest with them
and she was run very differently that day we ran it on 75% nitro just for kicks
we dynoed it on pump gas (94 octane) when it made 783hp so really i actually have no idea wat it was makin for power when we pumbed in the nitro meth and messed wit the timing
as for skins FUCK YA they hook up they are HOOSIER top fuel slicks 22 inches across baby no friggen white wall 10"s for me
mind you a does have weelie bars to stop me from back flippen
and right now im actually on a lap top at work (i work on oil rigs) almost 345miles from home for another 2 weeks so all yall gota wait for pics"

There is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start...

Keep 'em coming

Dve

 

A guy came up to me at a cruise night. He told me that he loved my car but asked me about something on the dashboard. He pointed to the shift light on my tachometer and asked me if it was a PERESCOPE!

 

The REAL problem is.....All these people vote too.

JG

 

I guess there are nearly as many bullshitters at hot rod events as there are ex-Navy seals, ex-Rangers, and people who were at Woodstock in bars.

 

This story was told only about 5 years ago. The guy that told it is my age (mid 50's) and he expected me to believe it. He said that as a 17 year old kid, he worked in a foundry in Savannah. It seems the boss really took a likin' to him, so after hours he would let the guy work on his '65 Valiant. One week he decided to build a complete new hemi-block and so after hours, he built it, and installed it in his Valiant. He said that the block was so tall that he almost couldn't see over it. (By this time, I'm honestly expecting him to tell me it was a joke, but this idiot really was lying and thought he was getting away with it!) Anyhow, he didn't realize that back in the day I used to race at Savanah, and he goes on to tell me that this car won every time he raced it at Savannah dragstrip. He said that when he left the line the very first time that the force was so awesome that he passed out and still ran 12 seconds with his foot off the gas. Said he woke up as he crossed the finish line! I'm cracking up inside, so I egged him on a little, and I asked hi what it would run after he got used to it and didn't pass out. He said "Oh it ran like 6 seconds or something" Anyhow, this guy still today thinks that I believed the story "hook, line and sinker"

 

my eyes hurt now,what the hell did he just say?(the guy making the claims not the guy who posted)

 

I had a very good friend explain to me that his camaro was, in fact, a 66.

after much (and I mean MUCH) argument, he produced the build sheet and window sticker. built december 66, sold early 67. I then attempted to explain to him that the calender Year somehow does not apply to cars, as he could go down to the local Chevy dealer and buy a "next years model" car RIGHT NOW.

He still didn't get it.

 

" I could get more out of this if I put it on Ebay "
" If I can"t sell it for that much I always take it to CALIFORNIA "

 

Ok we must play the greatest mechanic BS song ever written by Mr. Alan jackson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0QxnN42ZC8

 

You must know the same guys I know.

 

I also like the guy who always says "Oh yeah right down the road from me there is a whole barn full of cars like these"
When you ask him where he lives they always forget where it is

 

i don't know if this counts? but i was at a donut shop and heard a guy tell his friend he had to go to the hospital last night for chest pains and he thinks it was brought on from worrying all day if his car was going to win a throphy at a car show he was at. i wanted shout out ASSHOLE so bad but when your in business in the same town you have to act proper. i guess?

 

I hear them all the time, just a list
-I've got a big block too but mine has the angled plug heads
-I've got 450 hp and it runs 13.6s at the track
-I was runnin 8s in 1974 (he would've been about 11 or 12)
-It runs 200 mph in the 1/4 (one of those 502 bikes)
-Look.. it's a hemi (my flattie)
-Ya don't have to gap them, they come pregapped (spark plugs)
-The springs tend to pull the shoes away from the drums
(saw it on the HAMB)

 

A friend of a friend has a farm about 30 mies south of town. This guy has been collecting old mopar engines for years. He has several outbuildings full of them, mainly greasy old 318's, 383's, 361's with an occasional 440 thrown in for good measure. I'm out there with my buddy one day, and back in one corner is a complete 392 Hemi (I took the numbers off of it an determined later that it was a '58.) I asked the guy that owned the farm about it, and he said it belonged to his brother-in-law and that he didn't want to sell it. No way he would give me the brother-in-laws name or number. About a year later, I discover that I know the farm owner's dad, who owns another farm just south of town. He trades me fresh produce to fish off of my dock in the summertime. I ask him if he knows that one of sons-in-law has an engine stored at his sons place. He says "yeah" and gives me the guys name and number. After several attempts, I get hold of this clown. I ask him about the engine, and I start getting the biggest line of bullshit you ever heard. When he got to the point where he said "it had so much power, it twisted the driveshaft until it looked like a barber pole", I had to stop him and ask point blank if he wanted to sell it. "No way, I'm gonna put it something someday".

As far as I know (and I'm keeping my ear to the ground), the engine is still there and dipshit is divorced from the guys sister. I can only hope.

 

my model A with offenhauser heads at the 07 Startbird show
Look it's got one of the offey engines.
Hey it's got those cool aluminum water cooled heads

 

One daay I was hauling a ladder,roll of carpet, wheel barrow, and my sisters dog"rocky" in my 69SS 396 375 horse elcamino when this guy pulls up in a nice 67SS 396 chevelle with the black and gold california plates on it and gives me the "look" while reving the piss out of his car, I look at him and point to the bed of the elcamino and laughed. Still reving his car the light turns green, I take off as hard as I dare, looking in the rearview mirror at rocky sliding towards the tailgate. I let off so he and my cargo stay in the bed . I noticed his car is behind me in a cloud of smoke. "one wheel wonder". After the gut catches up to me he"s all excited and says"what motor do you have in that thing?"
I look at this guy in disbelief over what just happened and ask "does that have a big block in it? He says "Yes it does"! I say "when you get home open the hood! LOL. guess you had to be their!. Some say I'm sick! I say What's your point!