What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Actually i was told by my Automechanics instructor about 7 years ago that in WWII that sometimes if they would spring a leak in the hydraulics system in tanks and had no other fluid to put in them they would piss in the hydraulics tanks to make it do what they needed to to limp it back wherever they needed to go.

 

at the dragstrip.......a young guy near me: ha,ha, that lame car can`t even smoke the tires when drive the quartermile....maybe the driver can`t use tirespin at this time......

 

Oh yeah and '59 chevys lifted at high speeds. "Because air gets under the wings". Not anything to do woth the lobster boat handling and bias ply tires, right? And your battery goes dead because you sat it on a concrete floor.

 

IROC= ignorant redneck out cruisin.

 

A guy that used to wash cars where I work comes around every now and then. He has a story about building some high dollar 32 that he just sold. He knows I'm into bikes too so he always just did one of those too. He knows where every car is but never has time to tell you or show you. I cringe every time he comes near.

 

I might as well tell you guys. I am a quantum rocket scientist. My Model A runa sbc on nitro benzine and hydrogen alcohol mix through 3 holley 94s. In a quarter mile itis so fast when I get done I can see myself leaving the starting line So its somewhere in the negative 10 sec range. It is daily driven " Man I love Tn" I take my daughter to school in it. Tak that Cactus Jack. We'll line em up if ya want!

 

Hell, I wasn't even a twinkle in my daddies eye then.Can't relate, I guess I should go ask grandma to borrow her cherry vette.

 

This one caused an hour long arguement, before I knew better than to argue for an hour over something like this . . .

Knob:"If you run alcohol in an engine, it burns so hot it will burn a hole in your pistons"

Me: "Well actually alcohol burns much cooler than gasoline, it's just that you need almost twice as much of it or your mixture will be very lean"

Knob: "Yeah, like I said it burns way hotter"

Me: "Doh!"

What a waste of my hour.


Same guy had an uncle with a Cuda with the super rare 440 hemi in it and also had a Dart with a 340 hemi in it - not a DeSoto either.

 

Yea, well, my Dad was a Rock n Roll star in the 60's and 70's. I could tell you guys stories about brand new muscle cars getting trashed for fun and hotel rooms full of horny groupie chicks..... But you wouldn't belive me.

Soooo, I'll just sit here with a shit-eating grin on my face and watch y'all debate it.

P.S.
I really do miss the groupie chicks!

 

My dad was a porn star and an astronaut, he was the first to join the 40 mile high club and film it!

 

My 1/2 ton 59 Chevy truck cab is set on a 85 one ton chassis with a 6.2 diesel and I put "Diesel" emblems on the fenders just above the "Apache 31" emblems.

I've had people tell me how few of these "58-59 diesel 1-ton, short bed" trucks were ever made or that their dad or granddad bought one new right off the show room floor.

I don't even try to correct them any more.

I'm thinking of pulling out the diesel and putting in my 354 hemi as next winters project, I have "Hemi" emblems to replace the "Diesel" emblems on the fenders.

The stories should get real interesting after that!!

 

Like they don't need distributors either! The 'puter takes care of all that stuff ya know. Pistons connect to the ECM and binary output tells the trans to move. Thats why you can just buy a "chip" to make a thousand H.P. I know all this 'cause my Uncle Brother went to U.T.I.

 

...some guy at this carshow one time claimed his chevy was fast....

 

i saw a lot of the 440 hemi stuff on here, for all the non believers check out this link. i know its 520 but its a 440 block with hemi heads. most of the guys with the uncles cuda with a 440 hemi probably dont know this even exists and theyre probably still full of crap but its still neat nonetheless. http://www.carcraft.com/techfaq/ccrp_0809_building_hemi_for_less/index.html

 

I had a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 350. Fourth one made. They only made 3,225 1967 Shelby's 1,175 were small blocks and I think 4 were 427 side oiler's. Over the 8-10 years I had the car. I met all 12,000 people that had one brand new or knew a friend that had one new. Oh yeah and they wer all the 427's of course. There was always the guy that knew the guy that had one just like it. But it was a 4 door and it was a NOva witha 6 cylinder, but it was green just like this one.

My other all time favorite is. My car/ that car had a Vette motor in it. When they wer new, did everyone hate their Vette motors so much that they took them out and sold them to a guy with a Vega or a street rod? How is it now that every Corvette that I see on Barrett Jackson is documented numbers matching? I must have seen or have been told about 5 million cars for sale over the years that have Vette motors in them. The would leave all of the Corvette's without motors. I dunno' maybe some one was telling me a fish story.

It does seem over the years that is is changing to everything has or had a Hemi in it.

One cruise night fav was. Yeah he had some work done to it. Some cams, some lifters. It's gonna fly. It was a '70 Dart with a slant 6 in it. How many cams did they have?

Another is. Gotta "FULL RACE CAM" in it. What the H.E. Double hockey sticks is that?

Zilla!

 

Preachers, you'll get the best bullshit outta them, I recall my neighbor preaching about working with his brother on his 57 chevy but couldn't recognize mine as being the same car.
This was the same guy who told the congregation to stop watching telivision cause the news lied to you... that our soldiers werent really killing anybody, they were only equipped with guns for self defense!!! Our soldiers were all equipped with bibles going door to door converting iraqi's, "saveing souls for Jesus!" Last time I wasted time in a church.

 

My all time all to common favorite is the guy who tells you about his hot rod oldsmoblie with the 442 motor! Four hundred and forty two cubic inches that is!!!

 

How about the guy with the 73 Nova with the 350, added cam ,headers and holley 4 bbl that ran low 12s? or the one with the small block Pontiac 400 that had never seen a big block 400 Pontiac looks at them side by side to decide which is which

 

More tall tales?

Here's a good one.

There is someone out there claiming that a 1959 Lark, with a 50-year-old 259 Studie engine, can pull the front wheels off the ground.

How far fetched is that?

 

I know a guy named Wes who had a 4 wheel drive Nissan pickup that he would regularly "drive THRU the pond".
He also owned a stock '93 Mustang 5.0 which would make it from the Coca-Cola plant to his house (25 miles) in six minutes. He was doin' 140 on the interstate in Birmingham and a trooper pulled him over just to tell him what a good driver he was!
Wp

 

Then there was the redneck in Ringling, Oklahoma with that super rare Offenhauser v8 engine he dropped into his buick.

 

I just heard another two last night! FROM MY UNCLE!

He is the king of these stories and I could probably post 10 different stories that all reek like bullshit.

So after reading this entire thing front to back yesterday and all the 'Corvette Motor' BS that was spilled, I decided to ask my uncle what 327 he has in his 68 Camaro:

Me: 'Hey, is that 327 factory?'
Unk: 'No, this is a 396 car (WHATEVER!), the motor's from a 66
Vette, Hipo block/heads, factory 13:1 comp'

BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!

NUMBER TWO FROM UNCLE:

'Yeah we rolled the car and the battery fell into the fan and chopped it into three pieces! I held it together with my bare hands and car was like, Woop, Woop, Roar! Then we drove it all the way back home with crushed in roof and 3 tires riding on the rims!'

BWAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

this shit is too funny..keep em comin

the only one i can think of at this time is one that a guy told me about my plan to drop a 327 into my 53 chevy and go open driveline th350 to 10 bolt rear..

all he could say was //No way..it will never fit..you will have to pull all of the front of the car off and put a tilt front end on it..and it will still have to have an entire new front suspension from a truck or something to support that much of an engine change..

I stood there with my jaw on the ground in amazement of how mis-informed he was..
the next summer at a car show the guy walks up to me (its a small local show here in my home town)..he askes ..so i see you gave up on your idea of putting that 327 in your chevy..I said oh? what makes you think that..he says ...because the car looks no different than last year..
I turn around and open the hood..and he just stands there ..this time with his jaw on the ground ..in amazement of how ignorant he was

 

Yeah, I saw the stage V Engineering 440 hemi back in 1990 at the Mopar Nats, but the guys I hear talking about 440 Hemis talk about their uncle buying one brand new back it 1969.

It is pretty neat, haven't heard much about them since the new blocks and heads starting coming out of Mopar Performance again though (they are still making the kits)

http://www.stagev.com/pages/hcheads.html

look ma, a 440 Hemi!

 

How about the redneck with the 100mpg carb the gov't stole from him. I've had that story 3 times in as many years. They all claim to have gotten a brand new whatever off the lot, drove it for weeks, and the gas gauge never moved. All of them seem to smell as if the've been stewing in sweat and booze sinc ethe Carter administration and have no teeth.

 

Probably the best I have heard was when my uncle bought a new Chrysler Newport back in the 70's. He was bragging so much about how good the gas mileage was that after a while my Mom said to him "Boy, you must have to stop and pump gas out of that thing!". He stopped bragging after that.

 

Uh, I work on cummins diesels daily, and 5.9's almost exclusivley. The "upgraded" QSB 5.9s we run in our patrol boats will only push about 25-30 lbs of boost, MAX. I'll readily admit I'm no expert, especially in regards to forced induction. but our smartcraft system readout tells you your exact boost pressure at any given moment; and I've never seen read higher.

 

I grew up 1/2 mile west of that track, I ran my 12 sec schwinn there lol

 

Back in late 70's early 80's my 67 nova was street legal and ran 7.50's in the eigth, no matter what i had in it or what i did to it there was always somebodies buddy in high school that had one and that one was really fast. Frustrated i kept doing stuff and had the 461x heads converted to angle plug, fenderwell headers and some asshole was leaning on the fender looking at the engine one day and said 'you know what you need? You need those angle plug heads!' And that cured me of the wannabe's. I just shut the hood and smiled.

 

Must be one of them R-6s. They were only available in Colombian DEA patrol cars.