What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

The germans think, that every american Car is a gas guzzler. Just heard it the other day on the radio, a statement from an Audi Manager:"The american car builders should quit building gas guzzlers!" ------------ Ahhhh, yes.....Lucky him, that the new Audi Q7 SUV is a very economic car concerning its gas consumption!

With my former Chevy ElCamino the people always said at the gas station to each other:"Thats a Cadillac, it takes 30 litres of gas on the 100 kilometers. Every american car does that!"

 

At a small car show here in the UK. Yes it's a real AC Cobra....
But it's got a glass body......
And the wrong engine......
And the wrong interior......
And the chassis is made of square section.....

and so it went on, and on.
I had 10 minutes pointing out details, him coming up with excuses. I have to say he was darned good!
When I left he was still telling everybody who would listen that it was a real Cobra.

 

too true.
its the same here in australia, if you own a aussie (holden or ford) car you dont care about the environment and cost of fuel.

problem is retards who compare a 4 cylinder european hatchback for taking nanna shopping to a Australian family car that can cart the whole family, luggage and a boat or caravan halfway across the country and back.
if you buy a full size euro car, like a 7 series bm or benz S class you will pay the same for fuel and much more on repayments, you get a better car but once the warranty runs out and something goes wrong its just junk.
to do a fair comparison, compare cadillac cts-v to mercedes benz e55, the caddy gets 1mpg more than the euro car but its still a gas guzzler becuase its american.
any way the old guy over the road was telling us we should get rid of my wifes 1993 holden and buy a toyota lexcen like his, he went into a big lecture about the japanese quality and and all that crap and went on about how his toyata has been extremely reliable.
what i couldnt understand is how he didnt realise his toyata lexcen was just a rebadged australian 1993 holden with different haedlights and tail lights.

 

"I'll send the two 392s, the 32 3 window door and the A coupe body to your shipper in LA ....... "

 

Bloke I knew down in Sydney inherited a tall T sedan from the original family. It had sat in a shed for many years after the original owner passed away, and still had all the original interior etc in excellent condition, had never been in an accident, never been resprayed etc. It would have to be one of the most original, genuine low mileage, untouched T's in Australia.

He cleaned and polished it up really well, fitted new tyres etc, and took it along to join the T Ford owners club. The 'experts' crawled out of their cracks in the floorboards and started pulling the car to pieces verbally...
'Wrong tail light'
'Wrong fabric in the interior'
'Wrong brake drums'
'Wrong this, wrong that.'

Then he told them the car's pedigree, showed them the pics, told them to shove their club up their collective asses and said he was going to build a hotrod out of it, then hopped in it and drove away.

He didn't join the club of course, but no, he didn't rod it, as far as I know it's still a mint condition original car.

Cheers, Glen.

 

Every time I have my car out I have at least two or three people tell me they had one just like it. Go into nauseating detail of their car, how great it was and how much they loved it. Then ask what year mine is because, "the 49-51 all look the same"

Having to argue with someone about yes, this is actually my car, it doesn't belong to (insert some 60+ year old friend's name)

First car show I was ever at with my Ford, "yep, I had one of these back in the day... put some heads and a 2x2 set up on mine... you'll have a 350 and auto in yours before too long, it takes too much to keep these old things running"


90% of the people who claim they are getting 150+ hp out of their naturally aspirated flathead, when all they did was put on some aluminum, heads, after market intake, and a 400 jr.

 

Before i retired i worked with a "kid", actually about 26 yrs old, that was the worst bullshitter i had ever seen. He bought a clapped out '65 mustang that he had to take off the road because it was too fast to drive. It even scared him!!! It could pull the front wheels for so long that you couldn't steer it!!! I asked him what engine and trans......"A 289 and a three speed on the floor" Of course he also "rebuilt" his garden tractor and now he couldn't drive it either, all it wanted to do was wheelie.....Then he was telling everybody that he had a CDL and was driving semis on the side....I asked him if he had his Air license. His eyes got real big and he just kinda nodded, the next day, after he found out what an air license was, he came up and told me all about it..

 

well if his GF wasn't sitting on the trunk,maby the front end would stay on the ground.

 

Bullshit. We have two professional rallye cars - WRX STI's in the shop right now. They make about 425 and 500hp at the wheels and the motors have a lot more than moderate bolt ons.

The weaker one has a turbo upgrade, injectors, computer, boost tubing, exhaust, and some head work. The stronger one has lots of bottom end mods to keep it together and runs on race gas.

2.5L engines with "moderate bolt ons" do not make over 700 crank hp. You are looking at over 30psi boost with a big honkin turbo!

 

you have too many carbs up on that motor son

you have to block the idle circuits on all surrounding carbs

you are gonna wash the cylinders

you cant shim that open nine inch to make it posi...it will get red hot and fail

you cant set a battery on concrete it will suck the charge out of it

you cant run byass ply with radials your car will flip over

that straight axle in your chevy out of the 1/2 ton pick up will not support the weight of the big block

you have to run special oil in that stock A motor or you will ruin the poured babbit bearings son

my wife was a virgin when i married her

i am not gay......honest !

 

I have a good one. Its about a real ten second street car I owned (still own it but no engine or trans in it right now).

I have a 69' Dart that was my only car and I had Beatty & Woods build me a very snotty 340 for it (dyno'd 476hp before I did a few more things to it) and I was running a 200shot on top of it in a 3100lbs car. The usualy stuff behind it - 4.30 gear, 727 from Dynamic with a brake a 3800 stall. I also have super stock springs in it with a Landy adjustable snubber and the hemi relocation kit so I could fit a 10" slick in the car. I twisted that car all to hell and will one day have it straightend out and a bar or cage put into it.

Anyways - anyone who knows about those superstock springs knows they have a very short instant center. If you have the power and the hook, they will put the car on the back bumper.

I had a guy with a tubbed out 68' dart show car with a big block tell me how fast his car was and how noone at our car club meets could touch it. We invited him to the track when we rented it. He came and kept saying how fast his car was as we pulled into the staging lanes. He apparrently was also an old school racer who used to race for "garlits". I made sure to line up beside him, with the car un-corked.

After several low 10 second passes from cars in front of us and how fast his 8 second car was - he does his burnout in the water and then pulls right up to the tree, and the track crew has to back him up into the timers.

After I do my burnout and stage - the lights come down and I leave on the bottle and manage to pop the front end about 3 feet in the air all twisted up and run a 10.80 with it breaking up on the top end.

He comes through with a low 13, says nothing, loads up his car and goes home. Never saw him again.

 

Years ago I scored a junk aluminum (had to "destore" it) Triumph TR6 flip top gas filler assembly.In the process of fitting it to my Stude truck,I blasted the "S" and the Studebaker logo into the top of the lid.
A guy at a show came up and informed that that very lid had been on a factory "Super Hawk" or maybe just a "Super Lark!"
After repeated attempts to tell the guy that it was a homemade affair,I let him ramble on at how rare and priceless it was.
What got me was,he didn't want to "take it off my hands",just inform me?
Mebbe it gave him a warm,fuzzy feeling to be helpful?

 

Your Breeder's wife?

 

What about the guy with the car with so much torque that he regularly upends manhole covers.

 

is you car PT cruiser?
my grandpa had one just like this but it wasnt maroon,and it was a 4dr ,and it didnt sit that low either.but just like that

 

Those are probably both true.

 

My daily driver is an original paint '58 Stude.

I can't go anywhere without being told it's a DeSoto with a Ford 289.




Then there was the guy who always stopped by the shop to tell us about his old '55 Stude roadster with the supercharged Packard V12.

 

PLEASE tell me people dont ask you that! those are really stupid people you bump into. . .My hat off to you for not snapping and choking one of those guys out!

 

DUDE THIS ISNT EVEN FUNNY.i JUST SOLD MY 39 PONTIAC 2DR SEDAN,it seemed like no matter where I went I got that PT crap to the point I was going to put a PT logo on the damn trunk,I was so glad whenI sold that car last month and that went with it

 

I had a guy at the parts store tell me he had a v8 in his miata. I asked how he managed that and he said it was easy, he did not use a 350 cause it is a big block, but went with the 305 cause it is smaller than a 350 with smaller heads so it fit right in. I pretended to believe his story.

 

I have a '40 ford tudor and get that PT shit all the time. The little bastard PT owners even wave like we're long lost best friends. I finally started flipping them off..... the looks on their faces are great !!

 

AMEN...........same jackass who unloaded it off a trailer 6 blocks away from the show.

 

In fairness, a car with normal sized tires with radials on the front and bias on the back usually handles like shit particularly over ridges or tar lines in the road. Been there, done that, never again.

But that reminds me how the car I had that came that way, I took to a tire place, Dunn Tire. Should have been called Dumb Tire. Car had two good radials on the front on the stock 14 inch rims. I forget just what size they were but they were kind of an oddball, the guy couldn't get any to match. I told him to just get me some that were the next size up. The guy tells me he can't do that because it's not safe to drive the car with different size tires on the back. WTF? I was so pissed at the jackass I went home and stuck the biggest used set of 235/75R15s I had on it and drove it until I wore them out - dryrot cracks in them and all. Damn thing handled like a slotcar after that. No more feeling like it was going to swap ends on dry pavement because someone left a sheet of paper in the road.

He was just trying to bullshit me into buying a full set of tires for the car, I think, or else he was dropped on his head as an infant. What surprised me more was he tried to pull it on me, I was young at the time, but not that young... I wonder how many clueless people he got to buy a full set of tires that way?



Guy might be thinking of the zinc deal on the oil, too. I dunno about babbit but it sure does a number on cams if you don't have it.

 

the most incredible story i myself have ever told. often deemed to be bullshit. Only Johnny and myself will ever know the truth ! !

this guy was running in top gear on his modified harley sportster. the cops were tight on his tail, also set up a road block in effort to divert him at intersection. He blasted through, left leg smacked the plastic bumber of the cruzer , threw him into a high speed wobble, as he blew between the two parked police vehicles.

He then geared the bike down, flipped it around and hole shotted back the other way. He was fanning the clutch heading directly back twards the disbanded road block. He blew though it a second time and was gone. The police started after him again , he had a good lead on them.

later that evening he was spotted at the local bar drinking a beer, bike parked out back.

Bullshit ? Nope ! I was the kid sitting on the front porch watching this incredible shnit goin down ! ! ! long live crazy John [pilot]

 

I think i get your point..but just to be sure..
You can in fact put a SBC in a Miata..there are kits for this., 350..305..same block same out side dimensions..and both are small block chevy engines..(edit..my bad..the v8 put in a miata was a ford small block)

Stacy David also did a build with all the info you need and suppliers to put a V8 in a Miata..probably could find the youtube link if i had time

sorry i need to correct the engine used was a Ford Small Block..but im sure a Chevy small block could be done too..to be honest I dont see the point..but if you got the car and the engine and some "stupid" ,money..you could build your sister a brute of a Miata..that will probably handle like a slug

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXD3rs5sha0

 

The Sham-Wow removes ALL of the spill even underneath the carpet!

 

One of my old co-workers, all-of-about 21 at the time (maybe 2 years ago) used to brag about how fast his '99 Grand Am was . He claimed that he street raced it all the time but he kept getting 'busted' by the police. As if bragging about the quickness of a four cylinder Grand Am wasn't a big enough yarn he went on to tell us that the last time he got busted it was by the State Patrol. He said he was going so fast that they had to clock him with their jet!

Sometimes I miss that kid. He always gave us something to talk about.

Jay

 

A guy came up to my buddy and said "I remember street racing you back in the day, you did a wheelie and stuck your head out the window to make sure you were keeping the wheel straight. That was bad ass!" We still to this day don't know what he was talking about.

 

In high school shop class a geek claimed he raced flat track, but his motorcycle didn't have enough low end. He was going to put a different power band in it to fix that. Also, I know my 1928 Buick four door is big, but when I drove it to work one day, some guy thought it was a truck.

 

I have a new power band for my volkswagen to, hope it helps with the low end torque.