Ever had an automobile "expert" stop at your house/garage?

Mine, (Insurance agents, bank employees, tax experts), they ask "Are you SURE that's your first/last name"? I ask them if in their line of work they have trouble with their own name. I wrote it down, I signed it, do you need to see my ID?.

My custom truck, more than you could believe remark, "Chevy didn't make an Extended cap pickup in 1929" which is usually in a complimentary manner, I commend them for the educated observation and tell them the subject is a good ice-breaker, that's the reason I made it"
My wife accuses me of building it to get women to hit on me. Not a bad thing, makes shows interesting for people to be curious by the odd truck.

To the smart-asses, I jive them, leave them wondering, replying "Oh yes they did!"

 

Back in the day they were great for the strip. Being a truck ( which came with a hydromatic ) you could run with a hydro in stock class and a lot of the weight was on the rear.
Mine was called a Nomad a lot or why did you paint the glass.

 

I had an "expert" tell me that my "54 Chrysler could not have the original engine because "hemis" did not come out until 1964,and who in their right mind would put a"hemi" in a car like that any way.

 

I like your pickup! Nothing against Fords, but nice to see an old Chevrolet get the treatment.
And I have an unusual last name too. Always made phone soliciters easy to spot.

 

Yea, this know it all was telling all his buddies that my Caddy engine was really a Chevy fixed up to look like a Caddy. He looks at me to inflate his ego and I say what ever and turn away.

 

I used to get similar thoughts from idiots.With a last name of SMITH you would think you can't go too far wrong but I would get these fools asking me how to SPELL it! I took a cue from a friend of mine who had a similar problem.Now when people ask me that I simply say,"It's spelled S-M-I-7-T-H;the SEVEN is silent".That will usually suffice to shut them up.

 

Does this mean that I have to say"Its not a car,its a truck?'

 

I can't tell you how many times I've had people argue with me that my Nomad is not a Nomad because "it says Bel-Air right there on the side of it." And lots of people argue that it's a '55 because "'56s don't look like that." When I install my Gene Winfield-made custom tail light lenses (thanks drdave), it'll really mess 'em up.

 

Try having my last name, Cox.

 

I was at a friends house once and she turned on top fuel drag racing for some reason. There was this other guy who was into imports there as well. My friend asked "what makes all the flames shoot out the exhaust pipes?" the import guy says " It's those damned innefficient american made engines, they run like crap. My Celica is 10 hp per liter and doesn't waste fuel like those cars" I then told him " well a minimum of 5000HP from an 8L engine is a little more than 10hp/L " but he just didn't get it and probably never will.

 

Who's that? better not be talkin bout me.

 

Next time one of those idiots says something just ask him if his name is Mr Figjam as in Fuck I,m Good Just Ask Me !!

 

They stop by our shop all the time and add their 2 cents. Most have no idea what they are talking about.

 

I'm pretty tolerant of people who want to chat, and say something they think will ingratiate themselves ("see - we both like the same thing").
To be truly annoying, 3 factors must be present:
1. ignorance (have no idea what you're talking about)
2. stupidity (cannot understand facts presented)
3. arrogance ("I don't make mistakes")

 

Yeah...Try having a half dissasembled full custom 55 chevy laying around. that will bring the rocket surgeons out of the woodwork.

wanna havve real fun? Try having a name with simple pronunciation...and throw in an umlaut. Last name before I changed it-Neuman-with an umlaut. pronounced "newman".

if You had any idea of the verbal slaughter that ensued...You would have changed it too.

Lux Blue.

 

I built a 383 chevy in high school then put it in a car you'd never guess. In the 80s when 383s weren't common. So now there's a 16 year old kid thrown into this mix with a bunch of guys that have been "building" cars for 20 years trying to tell the "dumb" 16 year old what he really had.

It got so ignorant I quit telling people what it really was til they got more common in the mid 90s The utter stupidity that would follow those words "three eighty three chevy" just made me think less of people. Most of em are nice guys to hang out with, just don't let em scratch too deep. The stupidity runs out and spoils an otherwise good time.

 

I get the name thing all the time,Arizona had a real asshole govenor named Mecham....mines Meacham so they call me me'come.oh well then again I can be a asshole so who knows.as for the garage thing Im on a acre that has a 6 foot chainlink fence and the gates are always locked so that cuts that down..................

 

i,m restoring a 1959 impala for a customer and his cousin bob is an expert on everything you ask him oh what a dumb ass he causes all kind of grief.

 

10 horse power per litre? so it was under 20 horsepower lol. he made a fool of himself and didn't even know it. that 20 horsepower would be horribly inneficient.should have told him the fire coming out of the pipes was a lot cooler then his POS. I have a 25 year old import that is something like 140 horse out of 2 litres. wonder if the 20 horsepower celica wants a race lol. I get this all the time too. they never made a two litre that old, there was no such thing, get the hell out of my garage.

 

Recently it was me who stopped at the expert's house. It was a rural yard sale, looked like it had possibilities for stuff I didn't know I needed yet, so I stopped. There was an ancient torch set, scary old, with 2 shorty tanks. I am always on the lookout for extra tanks cheap, one of my suppliers will swap up or down, and I've never had a problem with out of date tanks. The guys asking price was beyond what the whole shebang goes for new. Why? Because according to this guy there's a new law and you can no longer own welding tanks! The rest of his stuff was priced accordingly.

 

When I built the Pontiac roadster pickup and stamped the tailgate with "PONTIAC" I knew it was just a matter of time. The first show I was at with the truck a couple of "experts" were walking around it trying to figure out what it was. I could here them muttering no it's not a ford, not a chevy ect... They reached the tailgate and the bigger idiot (sorry expert) saw it and said "oh yeah Pontiac my dad had one of those!

I still chuckle over that one!

Eddie

 

I have a friend that does appraisals for a national firm. I questioned his appraisal on a GTO convertible that he gave for $50,000. I asked him what made that car so valuable and he said it had a rare option but couldn't remember what it was. When asking him about a 32 Ford Roadster he said he wasn't familiar with those. Want an appraisal?

 

When my wife and I would take our MB to shows it would never fail that some "expert" would launch into a big discussion about all the details and specs of the Jeep. Do these ass-clowns think you're going to restore an old vehicle and not know anything about it?

 

Had one come up with a customer last week. He was looking at my 38 and steadily talking about how fast his buddy's car is. I told him I didn't build the 38 for racing just cruising. He thought just because it has 3 carbs on it it was too hot for the street. Then he really dropped the Big One when he told me that in his buddy's car, he would tape a $100 bill on the dash and when he got on it and told you to get there was no way you could because of all the power kept you nailed to the seat. Has anyone else been told the "can't get the $100 bill" story before. If there is such a street car that has that much G's I would like to see it.

 

I thought an expert (ex-spurt) was a drip with no pressure!!

 

Man,

NOTHING gets on my nerves more than some clown looking over your shoulder, second guessing what you are doing.

MANY times I have had people in my pit, @ a national event, while we are working on this:



...offering "suggestions."

I'd let it go for about 10 minutes, and then MY suggestion would generally be, "Time to hit the road Big 'Un!!! Go help tune somebody else's racecar. Or better yet, sell everything you have, build your own, and come show us idiots how its done."

Que the caliopy.........

 

That's an old one. It just used to be a 5 instead

 

Over the years I've had a number of old Chevy trucks. Passerbys would always ask if the truck had the original flathead 6. I would tell them Chevy 6's were all OHV's etc.They were just interested in old vehicles,not really gear heads.
Then one time two old timers walked up to my 37 Chevy PU farmer hot rod.The hood was open and they quickly knew it was a modified GMC 6 and some other non stock details.Then one guy rapped his knuckles on the fender and said "they don't make fenders this solid any more" .I didn't tell them the fenders were fiberglass.

 

I`ve received this comment more times than I can remember after telling someone that my Mopar has a 383, they ask "Why did you put a Chevy in it ?"

 

I told a guy one time my car had a 440 in it, and he says "Four-hundred forty liters???"

My reply - "Sure, yeah, liters. One seriously big-ass engine, huh?"