The Hotrodder Code of Conduct

Here's mine

1) never, under any circumstances, intentionally damage someones car

2) always treat someone elses car like it's a piece of art. Look, don't touch, unless you have permission. Even if you're working on a friends clunker, you still give it the same respect you would a showcar.

3) theres no excuse not to stop and offer help to a fellow hotrodder in distress. If accepted, you treat him like you would any long lost relative you just met and help how you can.

4) kids are always welcome to sit behind the wheel and/or get their picture taken in my car. Vroom vroom noises are a bonus.

5) if someone actually compliments my piece I junk car, I smile and say thanks even though I think they're nuts.

6) if someone was cool enough to take their car out to enter a carshow, I can find something nice to say about it when I'm looking at it. Critiques can wait till after the show.

7) be quick to lend a hand, and slow to ask

8) taking my car to a shop is reserved for breakdown emergencies, jobs that require tools I can't afford, or jobs I've attempted and just didn't get the results I wanted.

9) If you borrow a tool, return it asap in the condition you got it. If that's not possible, you replace it promptly. Consequently, don't borrow something you can't afford to replace.

10). It's always better to spend money on the tool to do the job than pay someone to do it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

So anyway, that's mine, sometimes I live up to it better than others, but that's what I strive for.

What's your hotrodder's code?

 

Dont be a dick.

Dont steal.

Dont tell your friend you need a part so bad for your car so you get it cheap or free, then put it on ebay.

Bring beer. Don't drink all mine. "I'll get you next time" never happens.

If you break a tool while borrowing it, fess up. Dont wait till the owner goes to use it so HE finds out then.

 

keep your hands off my car and i'll keep my foot outta your teeth.

seriously though...

i think you summed it up pretty well.

 

Just what we need more rules.

 

They all sound good to me - I'm always ready to let a kid sit in any car (with parents' permission, of course). I like answering questions when people are genuinely interested. I'm not real nuts about "how much...." unless they're asking about time to build. I've had some turds TELL me how much a couple of my cars are worth. I guess instead of building something themselves, they sit in front of televised car auctions.

I've had people touch my cars....touching is OK - there's no paint so expensive that a fingerprint will hurt it. To me...the rod runs are like a petting zoo. As long as you don't let your hooligans bend an antenna, twist a mirror, try to open the hood themselves, then there's no problem. Like everyone else, I worry when I'm off viewing other cars...but there's just not much you can do about it - a HANDS OFF!!!! sign sometimes encourages just the opposite - a friendly "...unless you're naked" sign is usually sufficient for the civilized crowd.

dj

 

1. Whatever will be, will be.

 

Rules? Damn rules! I was given this in the last unit I served in.
Watto, this was passed along to me when you posted in from the Regiment. I have been told this list began while you were still at 8/12 by the RAP Sgt. I took the liberty of removing some rules that no longer apply and adding some of use to PTS. You are to read this before you come to work every day. This list may be added to at any time.
Sgt D. B*****.
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1, I may not watch Porn when I&#8217;m supposed to be working.
2, My Military title is &#8216;Private Watson&#8217; not Princess Anastasia&#8217;.
3, I will not threaten anyone with Black Magic.
4, I will not challenge anyone&#8217;s disbelief in Black Magic by asking for hair.
5, I may not get silicone breast implants payed for by the Army on Psych and Moral reasons.
6, &#8216;Pulp Fiction&#8217;, is not to be played with suction darts and passing officers.
7, &#8216;In accordance with the prophecy&#8217; will not be used to end answers given to officers.
8, I may not add pictures of officers I do not like to war criminal posters.
9, Red M&Ms are not &#8216;Get the fuck over it&#8217; pills.
10, Neither are they &#8216;Harden the fuck up&#8217; pills.
11, I cannot join the communist party.
12, I will not join any Militia.
13, I will not form my own Militia.
14, I am not allowed out of my office when the prime minister visits.
15, I am not allowed to adopt stray dogs and teach them to &#8216;Sic Brass&#8217;
16, Nor am I to train Navy Police dogs to &#8216;Sic Brass&#8217;.
17, No matter how loud the voices are it is not God countermanding orders given to you.
18, I will not call any officers &#8216;Jack, slimy, immoral or untrustworthy lying sheep&#8217; even if it is true.
19, I must not taunt the Navy medic&#8217;s until they cry.
20, I will not antagonise the Navy SEALS.
21, I must never, ever call a Delta operator a &#8216;wanker&#8217;.
22, I will never ask a higher rank if they have been smoking crack.
23, I will never tell an officer I am smarter than they are, especially if it&#8217;s true.
24, I will never tell the German GSG9 soldiers &#8216;We kicked your arse in World War two&#8217;.
25, I will refrain from telling Princess Di death jokes to the British Paras.
26, I will not turn off the barracks electricity to show other soldiers the value of battery back up alarm clocks.
27, The Irish Guards are not &#8216;After me&#8217; lucky charms&#8217;
28, I am not to wake the duty officer by repeatedly slapping him on the forehead with my penis.
29, Sock puppets are not to take responsibility for any of my actions.
30, Sock puppets are not to take over command of the RAP.
31, I am not to chew chewing gum on morning Co&#8217;s parade unless I have enough for everyone.
32, (Or 31b) I will not chew chewing gum on morning Co&#8217;s parade even if I did bring enough for &#8216;everyone&#8217;.
33, The Parachute School RAP is not the &#8216;Dirt dart recovery section&#8217;
34, Neither is it the &#8216;Meat bomb disposal Co.&#8217;
35, I cannot have flash backs to wars that I was not in. The Boer war is OVER.
36, I am not to be known here forth as &#8216;Dr Feelgood&#8217;.
37, I will not ask for a day off on religious grounds as the world is going to end (On more than one occasion).
38, I will not wear camouflage body paint in Leu of my uniform.
39, The unit Quartermaster is not the unit &#8216;Sugar daddy&#8217; and he does not have a &#8216;little something&#8217; for me.
40, I do not have super powers.
41, I will get a haircut when ordered even if it does interfere with my &#8216;Sampson like powers&#8217;
42, I will not trade officer&#8217;s soul with the devil.
43, I will not taunt the French for being cowards (Even if it is true).
44, &#8216;Lets Rock&#8217;n&#8217;roll&#8217; is not an executive part of an order.
45, I am not the Atheist Padre.
46, I am not permitted to go to the Cross to &#8216;Wiggle daddy&#8217;s little money maker for 20s stuffed into my jocks&#8217;.
47, I am not authorised by God to fire Officers.
48, I am not the wonderful wizard of &#8216;Oz&#8217; and leader of the Ompa Loompas.
49, I will at no time use public masturbation to high light flaws in the chain of command.
50, I will not trade Military equipment for &#8216;Magic Beans&#8217;
51, I will not sell &#8216;Magic Beans&#8217; while on duty for a profit.
52, I will not quote &#8216;Blues brothers&#8217; or &#8216;Mad Max&#8217; on the command or safety net.
53, I will not yell &#8216;Get some&#8217; on the firing range.
54, I will not quote &#8216;Full Metal Jacket&#8217; in weapons lessons.
55, The kill house is not a &#8216;perfect make out pad for fag&#8217;s&#8217;.
56, I will not yell out &#8216;Heres Johnny&#8217; on entering the kill house.
57, I will not tell IET&#8217;s that CS grenades make good fireworks in crowds.
58, &#8216;Napalm sticks to kids&#8217; is not the corps motto.
59, The correct response to any lawful order is not &#8216;Why&#8217; nor is it &#8216;right on, daddy-O&#8217;.
60, I will not make posters depicting leadership failings in my chain of command.
61, Army Cadets are not to refer to you as &#8216;Oh captain, my captain&#8217; or
&#8216;Der-Furher&#8217;.
62, &#8216;Giant space ants&#8217; are not at the top of the command chain.
63, The phrase &#8216;It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission&#8217; no longer applies to Pte Watson.
64, Lawful orders given by a superior do not have to be voted with a 2/3 majority.
65, An inflatable doll does not constitute a spouse and I am not entitled to a Defence Married Quarter.
66, I do not have evil clowns living under my bed.
67, They are not the RSM and CO.
68, I am not the Psychological Warfare mascot &#8220;Secret squirrel&#8217;.
69, The UN does not have an &#8216;Anti-Mime&#8217; campaign and Marcel Marceau is not the enemy leader.
70, I will not pretend to be a Fascist Storm trooper on guard duty.
71, I am not authorised to Ok sex change operations for officers.
72, I will not demonstrate my deviances in front of my chain of command.
73, I will not cover my Kevlar piss bowl with silver foil to &#8216;Block the mind reading space lasers&#8217;
74, I will at NO time wear a gimp mask on duty.
75, Red lipstick is not Navy camouflage.
76, I will not conduct &#8216;Psi Ops&#8217; on my chain of command.
77, The Holsworthy main gate is not an &#8216;Imperial&#8217; roadblock and the guard is not an &#8216;Imperial storm trooper&#8217;.
78, I will not tell the guard &#8216;You don&#8217;t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for&#8217;.
79, I will not call block Headquarters on the RAP phone.
80, I am neither the King, Queen or Grand Poo Bah of Narnia.
81, I am not permitted to attend military functions dressed in drag.
82, I will not attend the Battalion Dining in Night in a dress nor am I the RSM&#8217;s date.
83, I will no longer form Army press gangs.
84, I will not start any SITREP with &#8216;Dear Playboy, I never thought this would happen to me&#8217;.
85, I will not use Military vehicles to &#8216;Squish&#8217; things or chase fairies.
86, I will not threaten the &#8216;Mr Whippy&#8217; van with the same thing 8/12 did to his mate if the driver will not give you free ice cream.
87, I will cease to challenge officers to settle their orders on the &#8216;Field of honour&#8217;
88, I will not refer to the RSM as &#8216;Mum&#8217;.
89, Nor shall I refer to the CO as &#8216;Daddy&#8217;.
90, Inflatable sheep and sex toys do not require display during room inspections.
91, On no circumstance will I begin a Jihad.
92, Nerve gas is not funny.
93, A Crucifix will not ward off an officer and I will not test the theory.
94, During CPR we do not remove clothing to &#8216;Check tit size&#8217; to see if she is worth saving.
95, I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96, &#8216;The Odd Angry Shot&#8217; is not a training video.
97, Gozer does not dwell in my frig.
98, The IA on gas is not &#8216;Tell the CO what I think of him then poke holes in his gas mask&#8217;.
99, A smiley face is not used to designate a minefield.
100, A Claymore mine is not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong of me to tell new soldiers that they are.
101, Just because some Navy personnel have beards it DOES NOT make them Taliban.
102, A Navy cap tellyband is not the mark of the enemy.
103, THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE.
If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than 10 seconds I am to assume that I am not aloud to do it.

 

when you know "respect", these things should be automatic. liked the lists.

 

I like alteredpilot's take on the rules....short and sweet with a kick to chops!

 

Well said. It really does come down to that simple word; "Respect".

 

I'll take rules over anarchy.

 

Red M&Ms??? Most of them are self-explanatory...like the GSG-9 no-no ....but the M&M thing must be for foolish, young, gullible recruits. ?

 

It is what it is....but don't ask,"when are you going to finish it"?????
UGH!!!!

 

Dont use your cell phone while driving you traditional hot rod!!!!

Point out dangerous shit on a car to the owner, dont just laugh and point out the dangerous car part to your buddys, the owner may not be aware of it..

Dont drive like an asshole, puts a bad image on all hot rodders!

Never sell a hot rod without telling the new owner EVERYTHING that needs to be fixed or made right!!

Dont put a crying babydoll next to your hot rod, thats just stupid!

 

You guys really came up with some good ones!

I forgot to add never loan your car if you'll get upset when it comes back dented

another one-if you're asked would you like to see someone's engine/car/shop, the correct answer is 'yes'.

Always score brownie points with the neighbors whenever possible. You'll need this stash of good will sooner or later. This includes not dumping oil in the backyard, rapping your exhaust at home, or driving recklessly thru the neighborhood, and keeping the garage noise down at night.

Yeah I guess most of this is just simple respect, but as its been said many times before, common sense isn't so common.

 

1. Don't preach to others about how to behave
2. Don't impose your opinion of "Traditional" on others
3. Don't start inane posts about nothing
4. Be secure enough in yourself that you don't need constant reinforcement
5. Be happy and let those around you be happy too, even if their kind of happy is wrong

 

I agree, show respect, and it will be returned. Be a dick, well....

cheers and beers
Hodge

 

Yours is fine. The Golden Rule. I would add, invite, anybody that don't let kids sit in their car and honk the horn should reconsider. They might discover a sweet spot in their heart they were unaware of.

 

It was mainly used for the malingering, gutless whiners that wouldn't pull their weight. The sort of guys that aways had imaginary injuries, the red M&Ms were pills that magically fixed the problems.
It went like his,
Digger, 'Corporal, I cant do PT today, I have a........ er...... sore...... um..... a headache'
Me, 'Thats Ok digg's, take a red M&M and get he fuck over it you weak prick'
M&Ms also came in ration packs, so it was a ready source of 'pill's'.

Someone actually gave me a jar full of red M&Ms once, must have gone through a shit load of packets for them all!
Doc.

 

Doc, I like that....does it work on civilians?

 

Oh man I WISH!

 

go ahead touch my car, just know ill be watching you!!!!!!!

seriosly, good rules..

 

My personal rules are just that, mine, as in, for me. You can take them or leave them, it's on you.

If you don't see it in a little book, it's probably not traditional. Why you get butt hurt over that I don't know and I don't care.

PS if you're looking for positive re-enforcement, the HAMB is probably not the easiest place to find it, that just makes no sense at all.

 

When someone helps you with your car, you help 5 others work on theirs.
Knowledge is not a trade secret.

 

DocWatson...those were great...Thanks!!

As for the Hot rodders rules...well I think you guys have covered most of them...most of the time if you are a good human being and treat other as you would expect to be treated then it all comes round eventually.

 

4) kids are always welcome to sit behind the wheel and/or get their picture taken in my car. Vroom vroom noises are a bonus.

THIS ONE is my favorite!

 

Hmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,

 

Treat every freeway onramp like a dragstrip.

 

Doc Watson,this has to be the greatest thread hijack in the history of the internet bar none. You sir, are a bastard for making a poor quadraplegic Kripple, who can not wipe his own eyes or nose, sit at his computer with his face covered in tears and snot, and also my new hero.
Paul

 

Don't lie.

(Unless you're setting up a street race.)