What's the best Auto "Sayings"/Mantra's

"You can't make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t"

Al (told that to a customer once) in CT

 

GTO - go to Olds

 

you can make chicken salad outta chicken shit; ya just can't get the TASTE right.

boy you can't run on one leg. (need a locking rear end)

 

Your car is a dog! Yeah but it ain't bit nobody today.

 

My sig and:

"Second place is the first loser."

 

Runs like a raped ape.
Takes a Mopar to catch a Mopar.
Runs like a scalded dog.

 

You can but it's hard to get it to taste right

 

When you don't use your head you use your feet.

I would'nt buy that POS if I was using your money

 

Here are a few of the best ones I have seen/heard. Apologies to anyone who's sig I may have borrowed.

Racing imports is like competing in the Special Olympics - even if you win you’re still retarded

Imports are like tampons. Every pussy has one!

Wow you must be fast because I was hauling ass when I passed you.

I’m probably a lot faster than you think you are.

The police never think it’s as funny as you do.

If it ain’t broke, just give me a minute

With a torch and a welder everything is universal fit.

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

Owning a 9 second import is like coming out of the closet, you may surprise a few people, but in the end, you're still gay."

anything that goes really fast and gets really shitty gas mileage has got to be cool ...

Yeay though I walk through the valley of RICE I shall fear no Honda for I have TORQUE!

Sex should be like a riced out Honda, slow, obscene, and loud enough to wake the neighbors

The Devil Made me do it the first time. The second time I did it on my own.

Harleys are the most effective machine at turning gas into noise without the side effect of horsepower

Tell again where we're going and why am I in this Handbasket?

"I look forward to continued immaturity followed by death"

"There is no such thing as too much power, just too little traction"

Its not leaking, its sweating horsepower

There is no such thing as too much cam. Only not enough engine

Real racers run straight to the finish line. The other guys drive in circles looking for the finish line.

Real race cars have a clutch

Number 1…Never buy or pay for something you can do or fix yourself.
Number 2…The only way to get something done right is to do it yourself.

 

Y'ALL WATCH THIS!!
She looked 18 to me!
No sense in being stupid unless you show it.

 

You're only gay if you are taking it

 

FORD Father Of Rail Dragsters (the Bug)

 

-If it breaks make it bigger and if it sticks out chrome it!
-Harley Davidson, Big iron for moving meat down the road.
-GM General Manure.
-It ran like a striped ass ape.
-If my dog was a ugly as your car I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.

 

"my lug nuts have more tourque than your import"

built tough with chevy stuff! (referring to a hot rodded ford with chevy driveline)

ever looked at a ford emblem??? they have circled the problem for you!!

 

That is some funny shit!! I have never heard that one before.

 

3 position British light switch: dim
flicker
off

 

I guess my Merc has the "Belly button street rod engine" so I can't really complain too much. It runs damn good.
USRE Universal Street Rod Engine 350 Chev

 

Dodge--dem ol dudes go everywhere

 

Imports, Did you get that out of a box of cereal!

probably already said FORD = Found on Road dead

Had a boss used to say you boys can't help it your YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM

Run what ya brung

No Replacement for displacement

 

From Stroker McGurk-" If some is good and more is better, too much is just enough!"

 

I remember this cool poster that used to hang up in our garage (circa 1965) ... it was a picture of
a 426 HEMI ... with the words: THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR CUBIC INCHES!!!.
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In the late 60s, our local pizza parlor (way before it became a national chain) used to wrap their
To-Go pizzas in aluminum foil and place a little piece of yellow tape on top with the words:
"WARNING: Round Table Pizza Is Habit Forming" printed in red font ... my father borrowed that
mantra to coin the phrase: WARNING: Hot Rodding is Habit Forming!!! ... in the
early 70s, our car club changed the phrase to incorporate the "S word" ... and included it on the
club calling cards:



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Back in the 70s, L.A. Roadsters club member Jack Stewart had this placard on the luggage rack of
his full-fendered '32 Roadster:


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Some of us (engineers) do have practical, hands-on experience designing and building hot rods. I've never run a train; however, I have worked on industrial facilities off-loading or loading trains.

"That square peg will fit in that round hole. You just have to have a pocket knife to trim the square peg."

 

Your project car is in great shape for the shape it's in!

That car is more f#cked up than a monkey humpin' a football!

If you didn't break it going down the track, then you could have gone just a little faster!

We do it nice, 'cause we do it twice!

 

Kittyhair,Bondo and paint makes a bodyman what he AINT.

 

not car related,but shop related, my 7th grade wood shop teacher always said, the board going into the planer is about nuts height,don't stand behind the board!! if you do and it kicks back,sewing class is just down the hall. (no one ever stood behind the board)

 

There's an "ASS" for every seat!

 

Apply this one to body work:
"20/20 rule :20 feet away at 20 mph you cant notice it"

 

"You know, shop supplies: stuff like towels, doughnuts, bass boat payments..."

 

if it's got tits or tires, it's gonna cause you problems.

 

i worked on cars with one of my old girlfriends dads for years....he would always walk over....look at what i had done and say
"You do good work. Just not enough of it."
when he had to crawl around under the car or squeeze under the dash board he would say
"I'm getting too old for this shit."
and when i would talk he would remind me
"Dont let your alligator mouth overload your jaybird ass."