Dumbest thing an "EXPERT" has said about your ride?

Guy at a gas station: What do you call that thing.
Me: An Oldsmobile wagon.

 

A friend stopped by my house with an expert a few years ago. He saw the tunnel ram on my 57 Chevy and freaked out. He started yelling " you can't run a tunnel ram on a 4 door ... It won't run right "!!! I stood there and stared at him and said nothing.
He then said " so what are you into the tunnel ram for?... I'll give ya a hundred bucks ". I calmly pushed them both out of my garage and locked the door and went in the house. The morons stood outside the garage for ten more minutes before figured out it was time to leave. They never came back.

 

...that looks "pretty" good.

There is an immense amount of insecure people in this world.

 

I was at a car show when a kid that was talking a lot of trash about some of my friends and fellow club members leans into my truck with a can of beer, looks around the inside and says "I guess it came out alright." That was about the time I told him to pound sand and avoid me the rest of the show.

 

I don't know if this really applies, but I had a "so called greaser" guy come up to my ride at Primer Nationals and automatically started asking my boyfriend if my 55 was his.....My boyfriend then responded with "No, that's all her" (pointing at me) Then his answer was, "This is YOURS?" I was like, WTF? Yes, it's mine! Then with his sorry ass apology, tried to regain his composer and act like he he knew the custom work on it, so then he comes out with..."So what kind of taillights are those?" Sorry, but to me...if your a REAL car guy, you definitely have to know what Packard taillights are the most popular on customs....am I wrong? Then, he had NO idea what make was my car....But, he had a shop rag in his back pocket.....DUMBASS!!

 

As I was having my frame fixed at a noted So Cal Hotrod shop. I was asked what I was going to mount my ladder bars with. I stated I was going to use Heims and clevises. He stated "those are Noisy"! I said I don't give a shit - It's a fucking Hot Rod it's supposed to be noisy !!!!!

 

Now thats FUNNY... I dont care who you are!!

 

i have a 65 chevy stepside p/u that my grandfather bought new sold it to my dad and then my dad sold it to me
i love this truck way more than is healthy
its an older build but still cleans up nice
i was giving it a good clean and polish in my driveway one day whan a guy walked up to me and asked to buy it from as he needed a parts truck to restore his
i chased him down my driveway with the hose

 

I have another one that is just sadly funny
At the Big 3 swap meet in Insane Diego. My old friend had a 392 Hemi for sale. Mostly original motor. He had a sign on it saying " 53 Studebaker Motor for sale" As we were talking many old restorers came by asking if it was a real Studebaker motor And my friend would reply "Of Course" and they would walk away muttering that they did not recall any Studebakers That had the sparkplugs that went through the valve covers !!!!

 

I often get, "what is that, a chev or something?" when my plate is 51FORD ha.

 

How long did it take to cut the top off of that thing? I tell them it is a factory 4 door convertible then they call it a phaeton and I tell them again No! it is a convertible and they say Oh! same difference.

 

On my 66 Coronet 500 Convertible, so callled MOPAR Expert says "Nice car, rare car, too bad you ruined it". He was referring to the fact it was not stone stock!

On any of my Corvairs:
"Didn't Ralph Nader Outlaw these?"
"Why did you put the motor in the back"?
"That's not a Chevy, Chevy wouldn't make anything like this"!

My fovorite though has happened many times.
I helped a friend of mine convert a 70 Challenger 318 automatic Hardtop, into a Challenger 440 four speed convertible. We had a donor convertible, so it was no hack job, has everything from the donor car.
The so called experts look at the VIN number and proclaim it to be a 318 car, a clone. Then they point out it is not painted a MOPAR correct color. And every one of the experts miss the part of the VIN number that indicates it is a hardtop, until you point it out to them.

 

Last week in Carlisle Pa was bike week... So I drove Mortica my 50 Ford ....
I have a 300 lady sit on my hood to take a picture with me car....I walked up and asked her to get off the hood please...(no lie)She did as I asked and said well its a shit pile anyway.... He 300 pound douche bag boyfriend said "when you going to paint this thing"... I replied " this is John Deere Blitz Blk wihch is a paint and primer".... The fat fuck said "I would never driver a car like that" My 6 yo son looked up and at him and said "I don't think you and her would fit ".... I almost lost it I almost had to change my pants... so after my sons burn I didnt say anything .... He came back over asking about the paint once more and saying how he would never drive it ... I asked is that bike yours ....it was a Honda 80s street bike ... no lie ... I said " well I would never have something like that on the back of my bike" as I ponted to his wife ...

 

Haha! That's the funniest thing I've read on the internet, HAMB included, in a while. Gotta love kids! They say what the rest of us are thinking!

 

I had my 59 Impala out, and a guy walks up to me telling me "too bad it's not an SS" . I say something like "yeah really". He went on for about 5 minutes telling me about his former ride ...a 59 ss impala with a factory 327. I kept my mouth shut. Last year I was in San Luis Obispo California for the Paso Maria show, and I see a really pretty two tone green 58 chevy wagon in a local shopping center parking lot. So I'm looking at it and this cocky young guy comes out of the store and gets in the car. I tell him it's a beautiful car, and he tells me that the car was given by James Dean to his mother for her birthday, and the the Dean family had lived in the area for decades. I tell him I doubt it, Dean died in 55 and his family is from Indiana. The guy probably thought I was a dick but I really didn't care.

 

Lady at show: Open your trunk, or the judge will skip your car.

Me: I don't care. I'm not here for a trophy.

Lady: Just open your trunk.

Me: Ok...

Lady: OMG! Didn't you sweep it out?

Me: No. I drive the car a lot. It gets dirty. I don't obsess about keeping it clean, I have a life.

Lady: People like you ruin it for the rest of us.

Me: People like me make it easier for people like you to win trophys, which I don't care about.

Lady: Bitch bitch bitch, are you saying my car doesn't deserve a trophy? (it didn't)

Me: walk away

 

as im pinstriping a hood- so you pinstripe huh?

or of my 65 f-100 thats flat black- you gunna rat rod it out?

 

Couple of guys were loking at my rod with a flatty in it. "ive never seen a six cylinder with 8 spark plugs before. 3 exhaust pipes on each side means its a six cylinder right?"

 

I had a guy argue with my buddy that his '38 Chevy was a Willys.

 

Morris Minor, incessantly:
"Have you still got the 2-stroke in it?"
The only 2-stroke Morris Minor I've ever seen was one someone swapped a DKW triple into. Ditto for 750cc engines and three-speed gearboxes the early ones supposedly had.

 

On a carshow i heard a daddy tell his son.

It's a Weiand engine


And quite often people approach my glassfibre model A.
rapping the fender and saying thick metal in this old cars......

 

Kind of funny... but I heard some one that should know what they are. (My 18" Dodge wheels on the back of my truck). He said that they are a single dullie wheel??? I just couldnt figure out how he thought that?

 

Some fool tried to tell me that the 383 Hemi was just as powerful as the 392 Hemi and went on to tell me how rare they were. I tried telling him that there was no such thing but he was the "expert" and trying to impress his 12 yo son...poor kid.

 

When you going to get it painted, hydro's with some Daytons. Or the everyday winner, you know you got a oil leak.

 

Recently after the Tr-Five car show in Western NY, the Buffalo News newspaper did an article about the show. Now this show had everything in it and close to 700 cars. Vettes, rods, muscle cars, stock etc, all years!
rocket scientist who wrote the article stated, "Most of the vehicles in attendance are incapable of being driven at highway speeds".

WTF!

And the person he interviewed, was a lady there driving a stock model A.

I know of several car owners who have contacted the news including myself who have offered to prove to reporter our capabilities of doubling the posted highway speed.

 

Gassin up in Wichita for the Leadsled show, a guy asked me is that a 383 or 440 car. Told him since its an Oldsmobile, neither. We 're standing behind the car where it says OLDSMOBILE all the way across the back!

 

When I had my '51 I had a couple of older ladies (blue hair and all) talking with each other in front of my car. The one said to the other "I will always remember this car, I lost my virginity in the back seat of one of these." Between trying not to laugh out loud and gagging I just about lost my lunch.

 

At a weekend show out Insane Diego a fellow rodder tells me that he thinks I don't need all the pin striping on my Ranchero. I have a near perfect 1963 1/2 Falcon Ranchero with the original 260 V8 and 4 speed with factory Tri power. The tailgate is pinstriped in 3 colors, and if you look at it long enough you will see the stripper made a resemblance of the factory steers skull and horns in the pin striping. I turn around and look at his bright green Hudson with even brighter green scallops and ask "your kidding right"

 

"the teardrop is backward. the openings should face forward for ram air." heard that 3 weeks ago at local cruise night about my falcon. i did not even aknowledge the "experts" existance.