What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

There should be a special award for bad math

 

Another classic is this one.

Yeah, I would have beat you, but I just couldn't get my tires to hook up. You know, these [add any lame car here] got so much friggin' horsepower, I just light 'em up.

Let me climb underneath and tighten up these traction bars.

 

3/4 cam? thats not big enough, I always run a 15/16 's race cam.

 

I always used to see this dopehead at ATL car shows babbling about his '78 "tee top Camara" with a "454 heeemi" and "holly headers". Smoke up, my man.

Cars I built in years past have this thing where they show up with new owners, who claim they built the car. Guess as long as the money's the right color it don't matter what people say.

 

"had one of those with a supercharger on it, cops made me take it off cuz it had more horsepower than is legal on the street"

 

No really an 'absurd claim' but a nice example of the 'I'm going to be right about this 'fact' one way or another' mentality:

Local show this weekend and I drove there in my '64 Pontiac Grand Prix. A guy starts talking to me and the conversation goes like this:

Guy: "They're a big old motor those '65s"
Me: "They look similar but it's actually a '64"
Guy: "No mate, it's a '65"
Me: "Nope, definitely a '64"
Guy: "It might have been built in '64 but it's a '65 model"
Me: "It was built in November '63"
Guy: "Must have been a prototype then"
Me: "I don't think so - I've got the original dealer order form and it was just a regular customer order"
Guy: "No, definitely not. I had a '64 GTO and it had 'side by side' headlights"
Me: "But mine's a Grand Prix"
Guy: "Is it? I mean, I know but it would have the same lights as my old GTO"
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure all the '64 full size cars had stacked lights"

I show him a Pontiac book I had in the trunk - sudden subject change:

Guy: "I'd have to change those stock wheels"
Me: "The bit you're pointing at is the brake drum - they're 8 lug wheels with ali drums"
Guy: "You should get some 20" 5 spokes"
Me: "Bit difficult to fit on the 8 lug drums but I'll seriously think about it"

I'm English and we're legally obligated not to point out when people are wrong but at this point I was trying so hard not to laugh that a little bit of piss leaked out and I had to go and get cleaned up!

 

I have had this several times already and the best so far was a guy in his mid 50's ask me why I put Hydraulics on the front of my 56??? Man you have never seen a straight axle in a 55-57 before????? Too many High Lifes I guess!! JOKER JASON.

 

I get called out all the time at crusie nights. Had one guy and his old man ask me if I ever raced my car, I replied "all the time" name locations etc... Younger son (mid to late 30s) says I've never seen you race before (note: I race all the time) then goes off about his 600 hp mustang etc... I know his car, I know who built his car, he's claiming he built it and that he's got more money in his trans than I have in most of my car. Ok... whatever. He askes my times, I tell him, and he about blows up, calling me a lier, and how he can't see my car running what it does... After all my street car is quicker than his race car. The following weekend at the cruise night I tape a time slip to the inside of the window. Too bad he never showed up... I hate dusch bags like these.

 

One guy I know all he runs is points ignition. Swears that he once run an accel duel point distributor up to 9000 rpm, actual rpm, on a distributor machine in HS. So that's like 18000 engine rpm???!!! He hates anything other than points.

 

i was at a show with a guy sitting next to me with a glass kit car telling everyone that came by that he had drug it out of a ditch in canada and took three years to repair all the rust and finish the car he had two poodles on his lap and probably didnt know a tire from a spark plug. three cars down the line was a guy i knew that had just bought a street beast telling everyone how he had chopped it and his wife had upholstered it [kit interior]

 

You mean you got laws that stupid people must remain stupid? Your not allowed to give them the right answer?

Are you allowed to shoot them?

Despite the economic and political mess we got going on right now, after reading that, I'm damn glad to be an American!

 

While at a show.... I know this car,and I know the guy who built it. Num-nuts goes on and on about how he and the owner are long time friends,and he's watched the car go through it's stages. I say really. I'm going to set the hook- he procedes more and more about all these wild times and all this BS. He actually say's my name,and ASKS "do you know him" Hey Jackass- I'm that guy! I never told him who I was,and have never seen the guy in my life. Go Figure!

 

A chick that knows some friends of mine told them all about me after reading a magazine article about my coupe. She told them what good friends we were and couldnt remember my daughters name.My daughter was mentioned in the article but her name wasnt. she had no idea she was telling this to people that actually know me.She supposedly went on and on about it. I never met her before. I have seen her around but never have spoken with her. You would think she would say hello since we were such pals.

 

A yahoo at a local carshow told me that the naturally aspirated 350 in his '48 Chevy behemoth was putting out 680+ hp and that he did 11.6 at the track... No traction bars, no rollcage, no shut-off system. A complete moron...

 

Okay then. That's a little scary.

On second thought, is she good looking?

 

Not really.And I'm happily married!

 

I did have a guy this past Saturday to tell me he started he 57 Cadyy cap on customs craze.

 

Wow, you guys don't do much to help the world's opinion of you!

 

As an American I can say that a real red blooded American could care less about what the world thinks of us. The majority of the world would be speaking German right now if AMERICANS had not stood up for whats right. I'm sick of people bashing my country. We have our problems but who doesnt. Everyone in the world strives to have the freedoms and culture WE enjoy. You must be french! I wont start on the French.Whats wrong with correcting someone. They may not look like an idiot the next time. How do those guys learn anyting if is illegal to educate someone. What a pathetic world we live in. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but would the proper term for this idiot be "wanker"?

 

I forgot how touchy you guys on the other side of the border are - one little comment and you are ready for war. I have no problem with correcting someone, I think I would have. Why however do we have to go right to shooting people? Is it pathetic to try and reason before reaching for the sidearm?

I am not french, I have some problems with they way the french do things, but I don't blame them for everything that is wrong either.

I apologize for bringing your culture into question, how dare I.

 

I like you beer, your bacon, and your sports. You can keep Bryan Adams and Celine Dion though.....

 

Don't sweat it dude we are not all that touchy.

 

Thanks, good to know. BTW I hate Bryan Adams and Celine Dione as well.

 

Right there with ya bud

and i aint touchy..just proud
something a few more "Americans" should try

 

I dont blame the French for anything. I think for the most part they are spineless. We don just go around shooting people for stupidity. If that were the case our government would be mostly wiped out. I just dont like people throwing stones at the country that most of the world strives to be like whether its hot rods or any other aspect of AMERICAN culture.

 

I had this idiot tell me one time that he had invented the "jaws of life" and had like this top fuel elcamino that he would get to the accident before the paramedics to cut the victoms out.what a moron.

 

I was at the local burger joint on krooze nite quite a while ago, left the hood open on my 66 Cuda, take a walk, come back and some wazzoo is standing at the car like he owns it,
I play his game and ask way too many questions about the engine, which he answers, every one of them wrong, I then ask if the car is for sale, even make him an offer, says he is too in love with it, I close the hood, get in, start it and go for a ride. heard the next day that he went right home and hasnt been seen in 20 years!

 

Bawahahahhaha...friggen priceless
i would have loved to see the look on his face when you got in and fired it up

 

I had a guy come in the shop with his Subaru WRX and he wanted his Hi Po exhaust taken off and the stock put back on, his story was that this car made five hundred horse power and it was to loud so he wanted to quieten it down. OK I 'll do it I said ( laughing to myself) five hundred horse power yeah right. Well I finished it and took it for a "test" drive. That little son of a bitch scared the shit out of me. It damn well might have had five hundred horses and with all wheel drive there was ZERO spin. Don't get me wrong ..I'm not a Subaru kinna guy.. but if your out in your Mustang or Camaro and a WRX pulls up beside you.. Smile ,wave ,and let it go.