Ever have one of those days when....O/T

Wow. I certainly feel for you situation that is for sure. Also, I never said that nobody else does not have problems, granted, some much larger than mine. But for 13 years I have been married to someone who truthfully, I have never felt feels the way about me as I do her. I could go into details but I really don't feel comortable about telling the world about it. And then last night, like I said, she said something that got to me pretty hard.

 

Why the hell would someone vote on if this thread is good or not ? I posted it just to vent and get some things off my chest and someone votes on it...........WTF???

 

I think it's wagon time.

 

There's always one in the crowd.
Time to log off and go for that long drive.
Go to Scottsdale and hit the Antique shops.
Drive to Blythe for a burger.
Just get in the Wagon and go,NOW!

 

Relationships. They take work. They work very weel when both parties are on the same palying field.

Compromise gets you both to that level.

 

I don't know your personal gig, probably don't want to, but it sounds similar. I had 3 kids a mortgage and a babysitter/housekeeper/occaisional fuck for over 8 years. Yeah, life sucked. She hated everything including what I do, who I did it for, the venues where that was showcased, WTF. I was an asshole. I too got "hit hard" when she said she only married me to try and change me. I did the best thing I could've done. "OK, that's all I needed to know..." The asshole part was how I stuck it out from some kind of fucked up moral code or because it was 'the right thing to do' thinking. FUCK THAT BRO! If you can't take care of and care for yourself how do you expect to reflect that to someone else? Let me make it clear that I'm not suggesting YOU do anything other than grab your self by the collar and go see the best shrink in the world. He's an asshole. A dickhead. He'll tell you exactly what the fuck's going on. You'll find him over the top of your bathroom sink every morning.

Think it sounds a little bit heartless? A little cold and impersonal? Fuckin eh right. Just like the rest of the world outside your door. You're lucky there's a few on here (yeah me included) that have enough compassion to even comment on your post. The reality is that YOU have all the answers you need. Try em out. There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING to be affraid of. Good luck.

 

Kerry, remember it's not what you handle, but how you handle it that matters. I agree with Highlander here.

Hinson: With your attitude, you'll outlive those Docs, I can tell! Keep on keepin on

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Hay
Head over to the HAMB chapel and let them know so we can pray for you.

X3 on go to Hamb Chapel. I promise it will help.

 

Sent you a PM..
Won't repeat it here..but I will say this..when my life has turned to shit,I spent a lot of time looking for answers on the net,in personal forums,etc..
If you weed out the BS,there's a lot of helpful stuff online,and hopefully you can find what you need to understand what's going on with your life..
Others have been there...

 

There are only two types of women, those that work with you, or those that work against you.

It really is that simple.

 

There are only two types of women:

Those that work with you......
or, those that work against you.

Its really that simple.

 

you are not alone my friend, I had a major one of "those days" last night. the wife acts like a child and my 20 year old son is fighting for control of the house and I get blind sided with the day to day drama..............my 12 year old daughter is the only reason I stick around................

 

Yep, drive yourself all the way to West Phoenix. I have some mind numbing chores for you to do here at the shop.

 

Thanks for the kind words. I'm doing my best to make a liar out of the docs.Plus I have an ace in the hole. They HAVE to keep me alive because I'm their 'cash cow.'

In the meantime, I treat every day as a gift from God and enjoy the dickens out of it.

Hinson

 

That's the best response I've seen on this thread. Take him up on the offer.

 

I don't know who voted the thread, but maybe they wanted to draw more attention to your situation to help.

Times are tougher right now than the normal kinda tough. Friends gotta stick together, and families gotta stick together, too, if they can.

There's always bumps in the road and some of them are big enough to swallow a whole wheel. Yeah, I got problems, too, blah, blah, blah.

Number 1, be cool, or at least address the problem after you're cool. Do what you gotta do to get cool. Don't get drunk, that ain't cool, that's sloppy.
Number 2, after you're cool, make sure she's cool. If so, speak your mind and don't hold back. Guys do that while women will tell a complete stranger their most intimate details. They're used to the stuff and if you tell her how you FEEL, not how you THINK, she'll immediately soften up and listen. If you show you're MAD she'll tune you out.
Number 3, if you're in a bad situation that isn't going to get fixed then start a well planned out exit strategy. Walk, don't run.

 

I can vouch for that!

Had a neighbor that is a motor head also. We have spoken maybe twice.
He came over the other night had a few beers and helped me wrench on the 37. He bent my ear with all the problems he had with his wife.
Everyone goes thru situations....It is how you handle it.
Like I told him. Think back to a good time in both or your lives. Now fast forward. Is she worth the effort. Pissed as he was...he said yes. He then said He had never had anyone put it in that perspective.

 

Kerry67,
At least you live in Arizona, No really From my extensive experience in all you listed, go for a LONG walk. The last thing you want to do is take out your frustrations while driving. Bishop said it like a real friend. Its good to turn to friends, and you got the biggest group here. Cheers Dude, Slim

 

Shit come on out to Georgia...we are easy going

 

try this out for size, give it all up to GOD.
Everyone here has there own understanding of how to deal with things but only you know what is really going on.

I have alot on my plate right now. I have to have one of my thyroids removed I'm two months behind on my morgage.....so on & so on. But if I break how is my wife going to handle things.

& remember GOD is only going to give you what you can handle.

So when you go for that "long drive" talk to the Lord. HE will talk to you when its time

 

Ditto

 

Yes, agreed and thanks to everyones advise and all the PM's I have recieved. Shows me that I am not the only one with problems, no matter how small they may be compared to others.

Cheers everyone.

 

I had those days..for about 6 years...than i decided there was more to life and i shot her ass to the curb and started over..was a long battle my friend, and yes it looked grim back than,(and way more to the story) but to look back on it now.I learned alot about myself and people in general..pick your friends wisely, and your mate (wife) very very wisely..or not at all in some cases.
now,..life is good..love my wife ..my kid..and fuck those bad days and bad feelings..lifes too short.

dont let it drag you down

 

My wife lost her job last year, 70K a year gone just like that. She has been searching for ever and can't find anything in her field. She was in finance.
I told her to go back to school and finish her nursing degree. Now I have a wife and two daughters in college, one still at home and a two grandkids. All on my income which leaves pennies at the end of the month. I can't find a second job and my wonderful wife is now waiting tables. My work sucks, took a pay cut and sales are down 35%. Some days I am on the edge of sanity and bankruptcy both. At least for the time being, I am still employed.
I feel your pain. Several years ago I started going back to church and started trying to better myself spiritually. It has been a tough road for me but I find since God has reentered our lives, there is less stress. With all of the bad out there it helps you appreciate the good, the wife, kids, grandkids, etc.
Keep your head up and keep moving forward, I am giving everything I have to the family, with nothing left for me but the satisfaction of being a good husband and father.
You know what? At the end of the day that is enough for me.

Sorry if I rambled.

 

I've had those kind of days in bunches.
One of the bunches you call the 1990's.

 

Nearly every damm day. A 12 pack Of Sapporo helps.

 

I understand what you are saying. I have never been the religious type. Not that there is anything wrong with it because maybe I should be, because I have friends who are and they seem a lot happier & peaceful than I am, but I really would have no idea how to even start something like that. Too many questions and I don't want to turn this into a religious thread. But I thank you for your reply and who knows what I will turn too in the long run.

 

.............................

 

Kerry,

I'm on a similar road as you are man! But the thing that helps is having good friends that believe in the same things that you do, and that are cheering you on and praying for you. Having friends that tell you to "just pack your stuff and get out" are fools. Ditto for the ones that tell you to get drunk or to "pay her back the same way", no matter what it was. There had to be a reason that you were attracted to her in the first place. What was that?

I'm in a bit of a "valley" myself these last couple of years and there are 20 things coming at me every day that are trying to keep me depressed or to make me make a rash decision. And it IS hard when you talk to God and feel like he isn't listening, much less answering. What keeps me going is the friends that have come alongside me and that have done the simplest of favors for me, or just let me vent without judging me or offering too much advice. I had tears in my eyes last night telling some things to a good friend of mine, but all that he had to do was to put his arm around me and to tell me that "Man, that sucks." and to add that he'd be thinking about me and praying for me. Go to the HAMB chapel and vent, rant, spill your guts, or just ask for prayer. Don't keep it bottled up though. That never works! (Go now! You can come back and read the rest of this later.)

I have to agree though, the "mindless chores" really do seem to help! Especially when you're doing them for someone else! You can think, pray, plan, etc. while sanding or unbolting stuff and nobody notices... (ElPolacko, go over there and get Kerry and bring him back to your place. Hand him some 400 grit...)

I pretty much suck at golf, but I do find that hitting a bucket of balls as hard as I possibly can at the driving range also helps to get out a lot of that "bad energy" too. I don't care if they hook or slice (or whatever they call it) or if they only go 50 feet. Tiger Woods sleeps really well at night after he sees my game, but trying to knock the cover off of a Titleist is a little cheaper than therapy! But, if you do need therapy, no harm and no foul there either. I'd suggest a good Christian therapist though, because some of the others will tell you to "just pack and get out" or something stupid like that. And if you're not a regular church-goer and don't know who to ask, maybe someone in the HAMB chapel could recommend a local one for you? I'm seriously thinking about it myself.

I've got a wife that is dealing with being bipolar for over 20 years now, her family doesn't have a clue and they blame ME for her depression, she's been out of work for almost 2 years because of the economy, I loaned the 71 Road Runner that we've owned for over 23 years to a friend of mine one night last week so that he could impress a girl and he brings it back with a shredded tire in the trunk and a torn up right front fender, the company that I work for has been laying off and calling back people for the last 2 years, the renovation process on the old house that I bought out in the country 3 years go has slowed to a complete stop because of the economy and my wife's job situation, someone that I THOUGHT was a friend of mine for over 20 years now is stabbing me in the back...

BUT, like one of the other posters said earlier, it depends on how you look at it... I have had a LOT of fun with my wife over the 25 years that we've been married, and thankfully she's a "car-girl" and lets me pretty much do whatever I want with buying, selling and modifying our cars, and she'll go to shows with me whenever she's up to it. My company is good to work for and they let me flex time so that I can go to my wife's doctor's appointments with her without forcing me to use vacation time, and I get along great with my boss and most of my co-workers. Hagerty has been truly fantastic to deal with and they already had the appraiser out to the house to check out the damage to the Road Runner and I'm expecting the check any time now. Sooner or later the economy will turn around and my wife will get another job and we can pick up the pace on our projects...

It might take some digging, but FIND the good stuff in your life and the good memories from when you first met her and the other things were going well in your life and think about those things. The devil WILL keep throwing shit into your face as long as you let him.

I'll be praying for you too! And as far as the "God" questions go, there are NO "dumb questions"! Ask away!!! PM me if you want to, or ask in the HAMB chapel.

I do wish that you lived closer though! I have a LONG list of those "mindless chores" for ya!!! My 49 Dodge truck project has been moving along too slowly (and as a bonus - THAT project involves the extensive use of a Sawzall!!!) the Road Runner...

You any good at wiring an old house out in the mountains...???

Sorry for the long post (I AM pretty good at that!!!) Just don't let that bastard "the devil" win!!! You can do anything that you put your mind to! We're pulling for you!!!

 

I think my therapy tonight will be getting on my bike and pedal my ass of for a couple hours. Maybe a PBR or a Guinness as well.