Dumbest thing an "EXPERT" has said about your ride?

stuck on a sunday, I have to go local for some parts i tell mr. pepperoni face i need a set of SBC valve cover gaskets.
what engine?
again, A SMALL BLOCK CHEVY!
YEAR, MAKE MODEL, 4 WHEEL DRIVE/ all the usual ???
just to brake balls now i reply
A 302 in a 1968 chevy camaro
there is no such thing as a chevy 302, only ford makes that engine, so it must be a mustang!
OK FK ME, here they are hanging on a hook, take my money please.
your zipcode?
I dont have one I'm homeless
where are you homeless?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

My 64 Valiant gets called a Falcon or a Nova II more times than I can count.....or I get told that they did not have small blocks in valiants in 64 only barracudas...

 

Fuck...I just spit soggy Cheerios all over my monitor!

 

I love walking into a Canadian Tire store and having similar conversations. Apparently the staff they hire there are too stupid to take a job flipping fries at McDonald's.

 

you flip fries? how do you keep them from rolling back over in that basket? must be a tiny spatula. too good to pass up.

 

I was thinking the same thing!...if you flip em the hot oil will splash on your face...Thats why alot of Micky-Dee's employees have spotty faces.

 

Every show that I go to has an "expert" explaining how I did the lace job on my truck. It's either a decal, done with lots of doilies or a table cloth. When I hear these "experts" I think to myself, didn't I paint this? I guess there are more kustom car painters out there than I realize.

 

Yep. I ask the Mexican here at work and he said thats right!!!

 

I had bb from cal tell me personally that I made a silk purse out of a sows ear in the early 80,s with my dare too be different car loved that guy god rest his soul a true hotrodder and no bull shit guy was a real treasure to have known him

 

So I'm pulling up to a gas pump, and a lady next to me says to her husband "oh look, that car has the speedometer on the steering wheel". Fortunately her husband was an expert, and told her it was a tachometer.

 

I have a 68 & a 69 AMX, I've always loved the guys that ask why, and/or gripe at me for removing the back seats.

 

At the GNRS I was waiting to get in the drive in when a geezer looked at my dual carb 383 stroker chevy "Fauxsmobile" in my 38 and said" That J-2 is THE E ticket ride!

 

I pull into a gas station the attendant says woud you like me to check the oil. I said sure. He opens the hood of the old Ford looks at the engine for a couple minutes then closes it and says:
"Do you know what engine this is?"

I say: "What there's a engine? Holy crap!"

I had a 429CJ in a '78 Ford Truck.

Why do people tell you what's in your ride like the FOMOCO Fairy paid you a visit during the night and your to lazy to look under the hood.

My dad gets this one nice chevy, it's a ford, not it's a chevy I used to own one. Asshole it's a '40 Ford. No it's a chevy. WTF?
It's funny all the ford parts we've bought bolt right on it.

 

ProStreet, I always love to have a sarcastic, in-your-face answer ready for dumb questions, and your comment reminded me of a classic. My wife, family and I are out in our 26-foot boat, and it developed an elec. prob. about 25 yards from the dock. SO, I get up on the bow and slowly PADDLE with a canoe paddle (with me here?). I'm finally about ready to maneuver our disabled boat in and tie up so we can go get the trailer and wench the SOB on, OK? Some rich asshole with a huge mega-bucks boat (which was next in line, actually) yells, "Whadya think you're doing?!?"

I yelled back: "Paddling to Tahiti !!!" And I finished paddling on in and tied off.

The c---s---er wisely shut his f---ing trap, 'cause I was ready to give his rich ass a lecture about boating courtesy & etiquet, WHICH indicates that other boaters HELP those in trouble! My wife was afraid I was goona kick the guys's ass & go to jail, and she was probably right.

But HOW stupid can some people get?

 

i drive a 59 el camino. more than once i've been told that i "made that car" out of a wagon.i can't tell you how many guys tell me they know where there is a "58" el camino is. i get this alot. just smile and tell them i'll buy it and give them a huge finders fee

 

Better not to attribute a quote incorrectly and be thought a fool. Regards, Ron

 

Gay is as gay does.

 

When ya gonna get it finished?

 

Himut a carb on it.
Me:It wouldn't run as good.
Him:Actually in the 20's Bentleys had turbos on them and they ran fine.
Me:Yeah, after the rich muthers had someone work on them every week. I drive my car.

 

I may be wrong but I don't think the Blower Bentlys were turbos.

 

I get a lot of people who appear to be offended when I reply to their question,"Are you going to restore it?" with, "No that would be a dumb idea."

1939 Ford pickup built for the dragstrip in the 50s, with severe frame alterations and a 9 inch, has had many motors, and has been a good daily driver just the way it is for the last 16 years.

 

No, you're not wrong.

 

I drove my roadster home to my new garage on monday night and stopped at a light in front of the local homeless shelter there were two rather tattered looking gentlemen talking and pointing at my car. One of em pipes up with that knowing tone in his voice and says "396 right??!" to which I replied, "nope" a confused look crosses his face for a moment before he smiles again and shouts out "ahh HEMI!!" to which I again replied "Nope" and added "It's a flathead"


too which he gets REALLY confused and asks "V8??"

these guys crack me up. I bet before he piped in with his "396" comment he was telling his buddy how he whooped every car in town with the motor just like that in his camaro growing up.....

 

then they would be Turbo Bentlys

 

Me: I need a #### dist cap for a 283 distributor # blah blah
Parts store guy: What kind of car is it?
Me: That's not applicable (boat motor)
Parts store guy: I need to know the make and model of the car
Me: It's not a car, it's a boat.
Parts store guy: We don't sell parts for boats.
Me: It's a motor.
Parts store guy: but it's a boat motor.
Me: Yes, I know. (at this point I start looking around for someone over 50)

 

advance auto parts last night, I was looking for packages of trim clips because i created some upholstery pieces, girl asked what they were for, this was after i had gotten them myself, then proceeded to tell me they wouldn't fit my car, I tried to explain they were for a part that never existed before, she's going on about how they won't fit, I told her just ring up the dam things, she's going on about how I can't bring them back under warranty bla bla bla. they were push in trim buttons. they act like that and if you are browsing trying to get ideas they follow you like you are trying to steal the hope diamond. If it wasn't for the terrorist crap, i would tell them i'm making a bomb lol, they would probably want to know what year,make and model bomb.

 

that is the EXACT reason I avoid checker,orielley,advanced,shucks.its all dumbfucks that couldnt hold a job at McDonalds and drive tercels working there.......give me NAPA or Merles(Tucson)or Baxters in Portland anytime

 

A guy points at the firing order that's cast into a stock Pontiac intake manifold, and says "that's the wrong part number" for that car

 

Sorry to say, but yes-in the late 20s, there was a supercharged version of the 4.5 liter.

 

Last winter, the night before arrival of the big ice storm, I stopped in at Advance Auto and bought a case of de-icer for the whole family. The young girl working the counter asked what I was going to do with all of that de-icer. I smarted off, "I'm whipping up a fresh batch of meth". The look on her face was priceless. She waits for the manager standing next to her to do something. The manager, who I have dealt with for years, was trying hard not to bust a gut laughing. He schooled her (and me) on a fact that I was not aware of. Unbeknownst to me, HEET can be used to make meth and she was confusing windshield de-icer spray with HEET! They had been instructed to observe anyone making quantity purchases of HEET. I guess you have to know your audience.