Dumbest thing an "EXPERT" has said about your ride?

I could tolerate the parts stores except they don't even have the capacity in the almighty computer to look up things by dimension. I wanted a XX inch V belt and I spent 10 min in the back with the guy reading all the labels on the cardboard belt holders. Half of them didnt even have the dimensions.

Shucks is for shmucks

 

I went in and said I needed four fan belts for a street rod--I would return the three that didnt' fit. I said I needed 44 ", 44 1/2" 45" and 45 1/2". The narrowest you have, I added. He asked what year?
I said it's a home-built and that fan belts give the dimensions right on the package. Mine would be 44013, 44513, 45013 and 45513 or something like that. He asked what make car and I said why don't I follow you to the fan belts and I'll just pick them out?.
He went over to another guy and they both peered at me with raised
eyebrows. They wouldn't let me in the back and brought out the right length but the wrong width that wouldn't fit. I said I need narrower and he said "Oh, you want the cheap ones?"
Good grief, no one can be this lacking in communication skills.

 

After asking for an AUTOMOTIVE fan belt and telling him the size he gave me a belt for a lawnmower.

I didnt even argue with him.

 

Their job is to "sell" parts and to peck at a keyboard, not to know anything about cars. And most of them are kids who drive a Honda and throw a cold-air kit at it with a screwdriver and immediately think that they are car experts.

 

Hardware stores carry belts for lawnmowers that can be used for cars also, says right in the fine print. I am glad you did not argue because then I would really laugh, not just about your sarcasm.-Weeks

 

Not an expert - but said with "authority" . . .

My blue 1950 GMC was parked next to my buddies black '53 GMC and two women were checking them out. "I like the blue one, it has a much bigger hood" LOL

 

Hood open on my 60 Fairlane up at the Shades run in Sept....it's got a Y-block with a Edelbrock tripower and chrome T-Bird valve covers.....Two guys, older than me walk up and start lookin'/talkin......

"That thing's got a small block Chevy in it"
"but it says 'Thunderbird Special on the covers..?"
"naaah, I believe it's a small block Chevy.....YEP!..it is......you can tell cause the distributor's in the back"

 

Hey Motion, maybe she has a BIG HOOD????

 

Trust me, when you're 18, trying to explain to a person that a Y-block isn't a small block chevy is a lot harder than it should be. Even still, when I was 12 trying to explain to 40 somethings that they weren't even close to right was nearly impossible. I was a rad 12 year old.

It sucks. Non-t-bird V.C.s don't help either...

 

when i had my ALFA i had a guy i worked with constantly trying to convince me i should drop a sbc in it, which is pretty close to physically impossible.

then of course, when i got the caddy, everyone and their mother tells me i should put "rims" on her.

my favorite though, not car related, was one night hangin out in front of the surly wench in tucson, a buddy made the comment that i should ride a real "mans bike", keep in mind i was riding a KLR 650, not a small bike by any means. he points to these 2 hardtail harleys parked on the street. i went into my usual about how more women ride harleys and cruisers than any other kind of motorcycle, then sport bikes, then dual sports. well about 2 minutes after this went down, two chicks walk out and jump on the bikes and ride away. i didn't let him hear the last of it for a few hours that evening.

 

maybe these are too new of cars for this forum but still a funny "expert" story.

my uncle informed me and my cousin that have 78 and 76 Mustang II's respectively that a 74-78 Maverick hood will bolt right on seamlessly... *buzzer sounds*

his knowledge given again 6 months later to my friend that rides a Honda Magna, "no that's not an allen head, its a torq!" uppon returning with the "proper" tool, tries it and says: "ill be damned, it is an allen. is this thing metric too?"

at a gas station, while driving my 78 beetle a guy says: "im glad you kept those factory square headlights, and the tail lights too. (they are GM squares and 1950 Pontiac tails, LED none the less)"

another bug related conversation i ended up "learning" about this guy's "factory" 1600 motor with four 4bbl carbs.... FOUR!? ive seen ONE 360 holly on a 2250, definitely not stock.

sad times we live in, too much fluoride in the water i think...

 

I have a 63 Corvair sedan......I've heard from ALOT of stupid "experts".

"That thing ever flip over on you?" why yes, just the other morning I came out and she had flipped over during the night. So I rolled her on over and then drove to work.

"I heard those things catch on fire all the time" yep, GM was studying spontaneous combustion in the 60's.

There's always the most common....where's the engine?

 

Take the windshield wipers off your car and see how many people ask you about it. You could take a U-haul to a show and draw a crowd to it if you take the wipers off it.

I had just put a chrome alternator on my Plymouth and and at a show a guy in his late 30s early 40s (not a 16yo fast and furious freak) asked if it was a turbo.

And of course the Air ride suspension.... Im always asked "zat got hydros"?

 

i always love the " oh theres no way that can work", or "that just cant be done". but then again maybe im the ass for always going out of my way to prove those people wrong lol.

 

When I had my '63 Electra with a 401 Nailhead, a guy said,"Oh, a '63? That's got a Buick 350 doesn't it?"

Now, I didn't pop the hood or anything, we weren't even by the car, but this guy was always talking about Buicks trying to sound like a smart guy.

Psh.

 

"That little fan will NEVER cool that Hemi " I had just made the maiden voyage in my 32 roadster to Deuce day at the Petersen Museum in LA traffic along the 10 fwy !!!!The mechanical temp gauge was at 140 degrees, in fact it is too cool, but with Aluminum Heads I'm good with the lower temp. The comment was made by a tall journalist , bless him . In all fairness it is a small fan !, factory Daimler part & works great.

 

here's one for you, the 98 has been sitting since Saturday, went to change the brakes,discovered the caliper is leaking, so I parked it. ordered a rebuild kit and brake pad clips from O'reilies, had to wait a couple of days for them, went to get them this morning, the idiot at the warehouse, transposed the numbers on the box for the kit and sent the wrong dam one, The only reason I caught it was i made them check the box numbers against the computer, uhhh uhhh uhhh this isn't the right part, no shit Sherlock!! then i take the brake clips out of the box, wrong clips, guy at oreilies: thats what the computer says to use! me: thats the wrong part!! well the computer says......... turns out the compooper has the parts for the manual transmission cars and the auto transmission cars mixed up. of course the parts were way more expensive then what I was quoted, quoted 14 originally, suddenly the price is 33 dollars. made him give me the price he quoted me in the first place. car is still sitting, I still don't have my parts, we will see if tomorrow the correct parts get here. I just can't afford or justify spending 50 bucks on a rebuilt caliper,so some idiot in china can do the same thing I can in a few minutes. rebuild kit is 5 dollars, rebuilt is 50 dollars. it's a seal and a dust boot. The guy at advance told him when he called looking for the kit, "brake calipers are sealed, you can't rebuild them,they don't make a rebuild kit for calipers." everyone wants me to buy a caliper, it's too hard to rebuild it bla bla bla.

 

sweet!!!! that means i don't have to worry about finding the wiper cams and wiper arms for my caddy anymore..............oh wait, i live in new orleans and it rains here, shit guess i gotta find 'em then.

 

Nice vette, about my 55 t-bird! I just said thanks.

 

Nice Model A.

 

What year ford is that....


um what what can i say.....

 

This is my friends car... we hear the long version of "Look its a Model A 4 door Sedan shortened and narrowed" ....LOL um no it just a Chopped Austin

 

a guy came up, looked at my car and said how is it so low , i asked what do you know about airbags? he replies " i know i dont like them on the drivers side" and this fool was at my shop trying to get a job!

 

Ive owned the car for less than 30 minutes and a guy kneels down at a gas station to check out my car, he looks long and hard at the fender where it says "Fury" and "360". He then said "nice Dodge man, is it a 383 or a 440?".

I said, "Its a Plymouth Fury, and its a 360."

Get back in your Honda, and drive it off a bridge.

The way this thing guzzles gas, Im looking forward to many more stories like these.

 

Did I already post this?

I stopped to get gas in one of my beater work trucks that I had repainted about half of blue, with a roller, after grinding the rust off it. Was going to get eaten up in the salt anyhow so I didn't knock myself out painting it right, just making it look less shitty than before.

So it's blue and yellow - all it needed was Wrangler and a #3 on the side, but it wasn't on purpose, that's just what paint I had...

Anyways some lady at the gas station asks me if it's a state truck. Then goes on to tell me that years ago her husband bought a car at an auction that had belonged to the state and was about the same color blue. In like 1972 or so, this is. So thats why she thought mine might have come from the state, too.

I'm thinking to myself, "Okay, but I don't think they painted it with a roller and left half of it some other color... before I was born...."


Of course I find out later on when I do go to a state auction that when they sell a state truck they paint over the door decals and reflective stripes on the back... you got it, with a roller, although in about the same yellow paint as they came painted. So who knows what the hell they were doing 40 years ago.

 

Shaking his head, and says, "I cant believe you took a perfectly good 31 ford and made a HOT ROD out of it!"

 

A friend has a 67 Lincoln Continental. At a loca car show two older guys where standing at the front of the car "I've never heard about a car brand called "Contiental"....

Another Situation: I was in the city with my 65 Fairlane Station. A fat Guy came too me and said: I had exactly the same car 10 years ago. (I was wondering because its very very rare in Germany) Then hesaid: You didn't see much Ford Granada Station Wagons this time.... Damn what an Idiot...

 

At two different car gatherings, I overheard 2 different "experts" tell their buddies that my trucks home built frame was an purchased aftermarket item. I just took it as a compliment.

 

In sommer I was a a gas station with my Fairlane Wagon. With all windows openend. An "expert" came over and said: Very nice car, I like it. But spareparts are very rare, aren't?! I replied: No, it's ok. Why do you ask? He answered: Cause your rear window is missing. Is it broken?!

 

coming home from a run on sunday we stop to eat and I notice a couple tweekers on there hands and knees lookn under my 56 chevy gasser, the "smart one" tells his buddy "this thing has a huge motor,LOOK they had to bring the exhaust thru the wheelwells cause its so wide!".......I just walked back in the diner laughing,oh yeah its got a 327 and fenderwell headers