What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

We got a bunch of period rods done up here and very well I might say at 50,s I heard a old guy say that he built em back in the day hell there were just done a couple a yrs ago too look old but done right lots of work to get em that way

 

Decipher

 

Sure, it is in the blue bottle in my trunk.

 

"There's no way that piece of crap will run low 15's."

Heard from an anonymous racer/crew in the staging lanes walking by my low 15 second piece of crap 68 Suburban.

 

i have heard many.

one at work this fool was claming his brothers camaro had so much compression that he could not keep the plug wires on it.

came out of a store there was this guy setting on a red harley bsing two girls about how fast his bike was and all the money he had in it. so i walk over and tell him to get his ass off of my bike.

 

Kind of reminds me of guys telling me stories about a 68 Nova with a 427 and street tires breaking lose, doing the same thing as you described.
I thought B.S. until I got a ride in the car and asked the owner if the story was true...he proved it was.

 

hmm... then that would mean a 200hp increase... :-?

 

bored all the way out? did you need to install sleeves? and speaking of BS anyone know where i can get a neon guy to build me a FLUX CAPACITOR?

And finally a tech article about proper Kanooter valve maintenance.

Proper Kanooter valve maintenance is key but first a lesson in what the kanooter valve does.

the kanooter valve regulates the flow of blinker fluid to the muffler bearing. blinker fluid reaches the muffler bearing via the phelopian tube. kanooter valve opperation is controlled by the adendum switch.

if the kanooter valve malfunctions then the flow of blinker fluid is reduced causing the muffler bearing to sieze.

At which point one must obtain a bucket of steam in which to free it back up. after the bearing is free and devoid of any nicks or burrs dry with a can of A.I.R. anyone remember the turbo encabulator video from chrysler?

 

Was it really your bike?Either way that's funny

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=pbVY5teBzlg#t=189 any old school chrysler techs remember this one?

 

best I heard was at a swapmeet , I was looking for 63 chevy II parts and a guy told me he had for sale a 1963 chevy II with a factory numbers matching 350 and without skipping a beat the guy beside me said NO WAY 63 only came out with big blocks so it's a 454 I'd bet my paycheck on it ... now I'm new to 63 Chevy II but know for a fact they never came with a FACTORY V8 only dealer installed so numbers would not match . also 350 and 454 were not produced in 1963

 

Did you win the bet??

 

This person i know is supposably building a 55 chevy gasser. So I asked what model was it? He said a bel-air. So I asked 2 door post or hardtop. He said hardtop. So i said it has no pillar between the windows. He says no it has them, 55 Bel-air post are all considered hardtops that year. So I'm still thinking what is a 2 door post then?

 

Not at a car show, but we had a guy working with us (Briefly) that claimed he had a twin turbo 300hp Hyundai sonata. when asked to open his hood and put up or shut up, he said he would but the hood latch was broken.

He also had glowing wiper washer squirters and claimed his mechanic put then on as a joke and he'd take them off, but again the hood latch was broke.

Same guy... Bragged endlessly about his vintage hog he rode. and then showed up on a 1981 busted goldwing claiming it was a limited edition honda/harley colaboration they only did a limited run of....

Untill he quit, i stopped taking breaks at work.

 

now thats funny i dont care who you are!

 

guy i worked with:
put 283 heads on a 350, made it a 327

I hit a curb so hard, i pushed the frame and tires back 6 inches, had to drive backwards to get it home. it was 69 Camaro.

 

A guy that had a '56 Bel Air 4 door hard top that I used to own, he calimed to me that he had built the car. It was in the same condition as when I had sold it.

 

Man, I love those. I've gotten that more than once.

Or the dudes trying to run the hustle with a car I've owned/put together. That's always a fun one too.

 

Low 15s work out to around 90-100 MPH, did a google and saw MPH all over that range with a 15.2 time. Would think anything short of a dump truck with a decent 350 should be capable of that, unless you leave half the plug wires off or something, or it's in a bone stock '78 Corvette.

 

I think we have all heard the one about the guys car he USED to have that he would take people fo ra ride in and put a hundred dollar bill on the dash and then tell them if they could grab it when he punches it they could have it! hahahahahahaha that is the worst of the worst! or the most common one" this thing smokes mustangs' !

 

My '54 F-100 with a 4.3 and 4.11 rear-end and 14-inch tires would break loose at any speed under 40 mph. Too much, It was annoying actually. The solid fender mounts and pre-balance shaft 4.3 made it shake like a drag car. It had a old camaro muffler dangling on a single 2 1/4 exhaust that was louder than hell. No one would've believed me if I tried to tell them it was a old shitty V6.

 

I remember once at a show and shine there was a guy bragging that his custom built Alfonzo de Credenza was running twinturbo quasar rotated double pumped findle warpers and would go from 0 to 150 in 2.5 seconds. I said so where is it? He said he didn't drive it much because it was hard on fuel. What a dummy! I mean, a lot of people think twinturbo quasar rotated double pumped overhead findle warpers are hard on fuel, and from the factory they are. However a little trick I learned during the war was to reverse the polarity on both fragistats, add an extra return line to the transmogrifier, and back the plasma pressure off to about 4 atmospheres(mercury atmospheres, guys who still calculate in earth atmospheres are so stone age). Then install 4 photon generators in series, not parallel, in the dilithium feed. Block off the warp override sensors and you’re good to go. It may grumble a bit and emit a few extra gamma rays on cold startup, but the fuel savings will be worth it. When I told him about this little trick he just looked kind of embarassed, and admitted that he didn't really even own a custom built Alfonzo.

 

On time some guy asked me if the car i was driving was the new Toyota.....
My car is a 51 Chevy convertible!

 

Just stand around my friend's Pantera at a car show and listen........Ferrari? Kit car? Lamborghini? Its what happens when rednecks and I-talians get together. He went to the "gentleman's" club and they cleared out a space for him to park right in front.

 

Not at a show, race, cruise, etc but a guy @ work always tells me about the '70 Charger with a 318 he put Hemi heads on ran in front of a turbo350. He got it up to 195 MPH once with a third throttle still left in her. Man that was a scary ride on those 15" wide Good Year bias ply tires on all four corners... One time he had to swerve to miss a load of rebar a truck had spilled on the highway and got the car up on two wheels! It was a good thing he had them 15" wide tire, 'cause when he went back and looked at the tire marks the print was only 3" wide. If he had been running the factory tires he would have rolled it!

 

The ricer-boy that told me the reason his Jetta filled the parking lot with smoke when he started that car was because his "forged racing piston had to expand."

 

Why do ricer guy's always ramble on about oval shaped pistons expanding and such? Haven't they got lights to wire up, or seat covers to put on?

 

This is an easy one! A guy was telling me about the 340 powered 1970 Dodge Dart that he purchased new. The car was unusually fast because the factory had made a mistake and built the engine "with 440 heads, rather than the intended 340 cylinder head"!!! It was all I could do to keep from laughing in his face.

 

A guy I used to go to school with had a '96 Cavalier 2 door auto. Minty Green, 3 Spinner hub caps, ricer wing, one quarter caved in. He wore his pants to his knees and styled himself after ricer guys. We all got a kick out of it (He was 17, we were 13) when his girlfriend was telling us about how he said his car was a "standard" because it had a console shifter, and had 1 2 and Drive.

Another genius I was in school with, that I'd put in the same category, had a S-10 Blazer 4x4 that would "do wheelies". Mind you, it was all stock except some blue strobes he wired up to pull people over, then run off, and a primered fender. He wanted to be a cop, and bragged about it. I later drove a 4.3 blazer, and they do squat under acceleration alot, but definetly don't do wheelies.

 

In high school there was a guy with a 340 dart. It had a 2 bbl and we asked why he didn't put a 4 bbl. He said it wasn't worth it because the secondaries didn't open until 90 mph anyway.

There were 2 nitwits with matching black paint jobs and huge pro stock scoops. One was tall and thin, the other short and fat. They bragged they had the fastest cars around. And many believed them. They never opened the hoods though.
I happened to pull up beside one at the lights in my 55 chevy and waxed his ass bad in front of his believers.
So I heard later people said I had the baddest car around, because I beat him. I later found out he had a stock 283.