Dumbest thing an "EXPERT" has said about your ride?

That I ruined it by putting an LT1 in it.

 

Not really what an expert said about my ride...but when I was in college, a hall-mate and I used to talk cars. He had a daily driven Maverick that he wanted to build. This guy could go on for hours, talking about various makes...production numbers, hp ratings, cam lift, nickle content in the block, best heads to use, etc, etc....He really knew his stuff!

Me, I've always been a hands on guy...I can do it, or figure it out, or find the formula...but I'm not going to memorize all sorts of stats. That being said, anyone listening to our conversation would clearly have realized this guy was the "expert"...Until one day when there was a knock on my door:

"Um...Sean...er...do you know how to change drum brakes?" Throughout the year, the questions continued...seemingly simple things that an "expert" should have known...

Another...Neighbor up the street...went back to school, got his diploma, and is now an ASE mechanic at a local dealership...phone rings:

"Um...Sean...er...do you know how to jump start a car?"

Gotta love experts!

 

Been asked numerous times if my 390 Cadillac in my coupe with 6 strombergs and six stainless header pipes (siamesed center exhaust ports on early OHV Caddys for all of you non Cadillac guys) is a six cylinder. Had some guy argue with me one night that my '59 Coupe de Ville was actually a '58. Douche bag.

 

i know how he feels. something about a buick, i foam at the mouth and start dragging my butt across the ground every time i see one

 

Hey, do you have any spare parts for that Barracuda? I need a complete grill, and a rear bumper. Among other things.

 

"Nice Desoto."

It's a '54 Chevy.

"Well that's a Desoto grill. I used to have one just like it."

It's a '54 Chevy grill.

"I wondered if it was a chevy because of the tail lights."

Those are '61 Pontiac Starfire tail lights.

"Huh..."

 

"Nice Desoto."

It's a '54 Chevy.

"Well that's a Desoto grill. I used to have one just like it."

It's a '54 Chevy grill.

"I wondered if it was a chevy because of the tail lights."

Those are Oldsmobile Starfire tail lights.

"Huh..."

 

My friend have a repair shop and one time when i was
there in walks the real expert he is such a lier ..if he say
hi to you you wounder if its tru
anyway it was a chevy caprice in the shop and the
idiot starts rambling about american cars and that he
knows all about them he had worked so much on them.
All v8s are made in the same factory then the big 3
buys them and put on there own heads.
and we goes like ohhh is it a fact? O yes it is
and this chevy caprice they got so bad oilpumps.
Real crap he had changed several hundreds

And my friend tells him but this is a 79 they got
the Electric oilpump....and the idiot ohh 79 yes
the electric oil pump yes it much better but
still not god. Changed many of those to
i didnt know if i should laugh or slap him

 

hey Heo, you should slap him, then laugh---that shits just funny!

 

"you know they drill those holes in the hood to keep it from rusting out" made about my '64 corvette.

 

here at the local auto parts store i had this hilljack tell me my 72 gto had a oldsmobile engine and the ac was after market.... i pull up one day in my 40 and go in to get new wheel bearings for it i tell him i need them for a mustang II and he tells me my car didnt come with one

 

40chevythrowensparks parts house story reminds me of an expert I ran into once. I was working a part time job in an auto parts store when a fella came, cut in front of everyone in line, slammed his hand on the counter and confidently ordered plug wires for a small block chevy. I asked what year the vehicle was and if it was a car or a truck. This guy was a dick, he starts barking at me how I don't know Sh%t and that all chevy's are the same, so it doesn't matter which F#@king wires I get him. I calmly open my catalog and proceeded to pull every wire set in stock for a small block chevy; every pre-made wire set, every universal set, HEI cap, Socket cap, straight boots, 90 degree boots, mixed boots, and a variety of lengths. Before long I couldn't see the guy, he was behind a wall of plug wire boxes. I couldn't believe he was still there, so in my most professional voice I said to him "Sir, I can order the rest of the chevy wire sets that available, if you would like." He turned bright red knocked the wall of plug wires over the counter and stormed out of the store. Everyone laughed as we heard him peel out of our parking lot. Even though my car wasn't involved I had to share.

 

Same idiot as in the earlier post. I had a 65 mustang
and he starts rambling about how i can drive that
and how much gas they burn. bad heating in the winter.
bla bla bla. I tell him i rather drive that insted of your
crapy vw rabit diesel(78-79 something they was real junk
from bumper to bumper)and he starts telling me it go 55 mpg

and i ...mmmm nice for you

And that was with a big trailer

uuhmmm.....

and with five snomobiles on the trailer

ok

and 200 gallons of gas and sleges for the snomobiles......

stop it i dont belive you

and in 1 1/2 feet with snow 4 passengers and doning 90 mph
most of the time

i cant take it anny more and tell him hes a damed lier
and ask him if he tink im so stupid i belive that
he starts yelling that he going to beat me up.
well i tell him you can allways try (im 6´5" 200 pounds hes 5´4"100 pounds)

oohhh well i have a meeting with the bank and dont have the time
so consider your self lucky today he tells me and run to his car

 

I'm working at this shop for about a week or two and my boss had just gotten done tuning up a customers car, or something .... anyway he starts the car and its sounds like its missing, maybe crossed a couple wires or something, gets out of the car and sais, straight faced..... its not done " percolating".......

 

Him: "You know, Ford supplied 289s for Studebaker" Me: "You call yourself an expert"

Truth: The block itself dates to 1952 and it is twice as big in size as a Ford cause it was designed for the lesser grade metal which was availiable in 1952.

 

what an idiot. Everyone knows they are based on Chevys.

 

I wouldn't even say anything, I'd just laugh.

 

I'm putting gas in my 62 Corvette.

guy says: nice 57
me: thanks, but it's a 62

guy: my brother had one of the first Corvettes
me: was it a 57?

guy: no, it was before they were made of fiberglass
me: WOW, that's the rarest Corvette ever made... see ya later

 

I've had more than a few people say that they called my OT car a Coronet "440" because of the 440 big block in it. It was a 273 car. By that logic, Chrysler must have made some mysterious 500 CI big block that all the existing Coronet 500's have had removed.

 

I've gotten that one before with my 66 Cuda. It would seem that several of the parts systems don't recognize Barracudas for 64-66.

I just look at them and say, "Dangit...you caught me. Its a 66 Valiant."

 

' I built one just like that in garage at home' to one of my builds.. Yeah...right.

 

"If you replace your voltage regulator, you need to 'polarize' it."

It's not the regulator that needs to be polarized, it's the generator.

 

POLARIZING THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM

There are two types of generator and electromechanical voltage regulator combinations used with DC generators.

In an "A Circuit" system, the field is grounded through the regulator. "A Circuit" systems are found in most Ford and GM vehicles.

Most Chrysler vehicles had a "B Circuit" system which was grounded internally through the generator.

To polarize an "A Circuit" system, connect the FIELD, ARMATURE, and BATTERY leads to the regulator. Connect the battery. Then, momentarily connect a jumper wire between the ARMATURE terminal and the BATTERY terminal at the regulator.

To polarize a "B Circuit" system, connect the FIELD, and ARMATURE leads to the regulator. Connect the battery. Then, just before installing the BATTERY lead, momentarily touch it to the ARMATURE lead terminal.

 

Hmmmm, 48 Edsel Convertible, had one just like it when I was young!



You'll like this one Steve..

 

I had a guy email me up the other day on eBay says he's been looking for a 57-62 Corvette to restore for over three years. Says he lives in New Jersey and with so many other guys looking for them it's impossible, so he's willing to start looking further away.. to me like 6 hours away in New York state. Willing to pay a $500 finders fee. $500 will pay for you to go a pretty long ways to get one..

I'm reading it wondering if the guy lives under a rock or something... I felt like asking for his mailing address and sending him the Corvette section out of the newest Hemmings and demanding my $500 fee for it. I know those aren't quite as common as other Chevys, but there has to be at least one of those years for sale somewhere every single day of the year. They aren't like a Deusenberg or something.

 

"Now why would you want that car to sit so low? You'll leave your exhaust at thte first bump.... I see it everyday"

WOW! The streets must be littered with exhaust systems that were ripped out!

 

"Now why would you want that car to sit so low? You'll leave your exhaust at the first bump.... I see it everyday"

"I had one of them in 1958"

WOW! The streets must be littered with exhaust systems that were ripped out by bumps! OH... and the car he had in 58 was a 61.

 

Yup. It's the generator armature that needs to be polarized. The regulator works the same regardless of polarity. But, an improperly polarized generator will damage the voltage regulator, that's why voltage regulator instructions direct you to 'polarize' the charging system.

http://web.utk.edu/~tprather/FoothillsTractorClub/TechTips/PolarizeGenerator.html

 

A guy to his girl friend at a car show "They didn't put many Offy V8s in these Hawks" (53 Studebaker hardtop with a sbc with Offenhouser valve covers)

 

Stopped at a garage for fuel in my 64 impala,i was told how beautiful it was,he asked if it was for sale,he told me he loed the old fords?