Dumbest thing an "EXPERT" has said about your ride?

Little kids and real old timers always say "cool" with their thumbs up.Everyone in between either wants to tell how much they know or say something stupid.

 

Last week at the gas station in my '65 Comet:

Random Dude: What year is that?
Me: '65

Random Dude: What do you have in it?
Me: Stock 289

Random Dude: Cool, I used to have a '65 Mustang.
Me: Was it a Fastback?

Random Dude: No, it had a 289 too.
Me:

 

After several weeks helping a buddy put a 429 in his Fairmont Futura coupe, we had it at a cruise night showing it off. Shore 'nuff, some yahoo walks up and tells his girlfriend that the 429 was a rare factory performance option!

Other end of the scale: At a car show a few years ago another friend was showing his just-finished 1921 Ford T Center-Door. Beautiful job on it, cost him about $60K as a matter of fact. So here comes a Model A owner who also has a car entered in the show in the Antique class along with the '21, very loudly protesting that he doesn't want to show his fine Model A Tudor (which was really a p.o.s. driver) alongside that *#&! kit car! We tried long and faithfully to tell him we knew it wasn't a kit car but he absolutely knew that no Model T ever looked that good; it had to be a kit car. The rest of the story: After about three years of good-natured ribbing from fellow club members about his 'kit car', the owner has finally, officially named the car "Kit."
Fearless

 

Was at the gas station the other day. Went to get out in the truck.

Guy standing there (obviously had a bit too much) telling his son that's a 65 Chevy.
I ignored and sat in the truck.
Guy says that's a 65 right?
No it's a 59.
That is not a 59 Chevy the guy says.
I said you're right!

 

I had a guy telling me the other day that an O/T car I have had a rotty subframe. He's never seen it and I don't even have pictures of the bottom of it to show him if I wanted.

Same day I get someone else telling me that you can buy solid, drivable AD Chevy pickups for $400. I asked him why he hadn't bought one yet, and if he wasn't going to buy it, could he tell me where it is? I'll take a dozen at that price.



I hope you drove by the Ford dealer to show off your shiny new Corvette -

 

Nah. I'll wait until he figures it out and then the whole scene will flash before his eyes. I think that's how you handle a putz. Erery time he sees me or finds himself in a similiar auto situation, he will confront his own shortcomings. The pain will never go away.

So when someone at a show tells his girlfriend my SBC in a salt flat wannabee is a rare factory variation, I just smile at the girl and we both then know she could have done better. That's the fun.

 

just go to wall mart...take one cart...dig and throw...find Ian...no thing to it.5 dollar bin..took me 1.75 min..
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My most recent experience is when the guy across the street a couple of months ago, and took a look under the hood of my 40 Ford P/U. He told me I should get rid of the 49 Merc with 3 duces, and put in something cool like a turbocharged V6. Seriously.

Yeah.......Right!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAFU

 

I was at the N.Ga swap meet and some guy came by and asked me why I havent fixed my windows yet.(some are fogging up)..another show this guy came up and told me that the next time he would see the car, the windows still wouldnt be fixed. pissed me off to no end.

 

Ding, ding, ding...I think we have a winner!!!

 

I have a Buick 300 in my T bucket and you would be suprized how often I get asked if it is the original moter, if I bought it in a kit or built it, is a popular one too. Here is a pic...

 

I was at our little car show in Burnet today and a couple of us were standing around a really nice 56 vette. A guy comes up on a bicycle (first clue) and says with great authority "I suppose you all know that the Corvette, Corvair, and Nomad were all based on the same platform." I just turned around and left.

 

But its true, just like the Mini, QE2 and the Boeing 737 are all based on the same platform. In fact they all share the same drive lines!!

Honest, would I lie to you?

Doc.

 

He probably saw this picture.
It is a Corvette, Nomad and a 'Corvair' at the bottom

GM Motorama show cars

 

Yeah belair, it's completely true: they all have four wheels, therefore: same platform.

 

oh yeah....the chevy showcars....i forgot about that...

 

Uhh...............what?

 

He's just explaining the Dumbest thing somebody'd ever said about his car... it doesn't have to make sense...
I had a bum look at my t-bird once and say something like "rang-dang doo wubba wubba" either he wanted to wash my windows or I was being solicited. either way I didn't hang around.

 

Speaking of Bum's, Bill Cosby should have a show called "bums say the darndest things"

Years ago, I was riding with my friend in his 54 pontiac and we pulled up to a light near a closed downtown office building. We here a voice That sounded like a bad impression of Richard Pryor call us.."Hey"... we look over and it's a toothless gentlemen of African descent holding a bottle of Thunderbird " Who proceeds to compliment our Cadillac....too funny, wrong! but funny.

Then shortly after that I was at a hot rod breakfast with a friend of mine who had a 51 ford truck with brand new baby moons on it... a bald guy who was a little left of center you might say. tells how he likes the truck because inside the wheels he can see the "chromium on his domium." and how if he could "wear the hubcaps the aliens wouldn't be able to read his thoughts"

Crazy is far better than ignorance in my book

 

had a guy tell me my halibrand quickchange was a bitchin Dana 60 rear end. when i told him no.... did not believe me and walked away.

 

Do you remember Douchebeard the pirate and "NICE RATS GENTLEMEN...........nice .rats."

 

to me about my 78 honda cb750 by a guy that actually slathered the INSIDE of a brake drum with GREASE....I know I wouldnt have done it like that...me: really dumbass......well just show me how you did yours......oh its probably wrapped around a tree because brakes dont work worth a damn with grease on em huh?

 

So Saturday I took my 54 Chevy Bel Air for it's maiden voyage with my buddy in his 59 Ford. On the way back we bar hopped through small towns. We got to one small town that had Miller Lite Girls there, I'm not a fan of Miller Lite, neither was my friend, but I got them outside to take pictures with our cars anyways. This old guy comes out, he's a Chevy fan, he said he really liked my car, he got his picture taken with the girls in front of my car. Well they took pictures so they told us we had to have a Miller Lite, ok ok.

First, quick rundown on my car, this is about a 20 year old paint job. There are like 3 spots where the paint chipped, there are only 2 spots of rust that you can't even see really unless I point them out. Some of the trim is dinged a little, the interior, is original, so the front seat is ripped up, I got a blanket covering it for now, and everything is faded inside.

So we are in the bar, choking down the Miller Lite, we got about half way down. This old guy comes over to us, kinda creeping us out he's drunk and leaning on us. He tells me how much he likes my car, then he tells my buddy "Oh your cars good too.", then proceeds to tell me "You got a lot of work to do though cause the outside looks really rough." At this point I don't like this guy anymore. But I humor him and nod.

Then he proceeds to tell me he had a 66 396 Chevelle, not just that, a stock one at that, and that all those Hemi guys kept coming to challenge him and he kept beating them, then they said "Let's start at 100" so he started at 100 and he had it up over 170 MPH beating them. Then he proceeded to tell us he was going 120 and he spun the tires at 120.

Finally someone calls him to talk to him and some other guy comes up and asks me if I want to sell my car and gives me his card. He owns a car sales lot. I tell him I don't ever plan on selling it but anythings for sale for the right price.

"Well just if you ever want to sell it call me."

I said, "Alright but like I said I don't ever plan on selling it but if someone gave me the right offer..."

He cut me off there and said, "Well if you're gonna be like that give me my card back" and snatched the card out of my hands.

Ya I really want to go buy a car at your lot now asshat.

I know with my business I only hand cards out to people I know will give me what I want, cause if they aren't going to call me with work or something else I want I don't want to give them a card that cost me less than a cent.

 

Asshole #1..."why in the hell did you put a Chevy Motor in your Tudor, I hate it when people mix enigne and car makes....I should go home and put my 454 in the Torino just to piss some people off!"

Asshole #2..."You shouldn't be allowed to "drag" your truck because the paint isn't shiny, my shit looks good!"
Me...10 seconds later..."Hmmm, guess your shit isn't shiny enough dickhead, I just ran a 10.59 to your 13.22, thanks for the win!"

A teen at a car show once asked me..."why does the exhaust come from the top of the engine?" My '27 Tudor is running an Hillebrand Injection!

 

At least crazy can be halfway amusing sometimes. A psychiatrist I used to work with when I worked in mental health once commented that "there really needs to be a DSM-IV code for Just Plain Crazy NOS."

 

Mine:
Called around looking for a place to bag my Mercury: The guys says " A 77camaro front clip? WHy? For What? Yeahh I can bag it..."
So I immediately hung up, and thank god I did. I wouldnt have found Radical Rick Erickson of Extreme Kustoms

 

Him "What year's your Model A?"
Me "Well sir, its a 31 Olds."
Him "No it ain't!"

Shit, if he new so bloody much why ask.

 

"Hillebrand Injection"?

 

Once someone said to me "cool Hillebrand Injection!!"

 

A Vette owner once saw my '53 Cranbrook (see bio for pics) and said, "nice Merc", I told him it wasn't a Merc and he said, "sure it is because of the chopped top and how low it is, all Merc's are like that."
I just gave him a headshake and walked away.