Funniest lines from the parts counter

I like his answer better than yours!

 

It is funny to have seen this from both sides of the counter. From the customer side, like some of the other brands, try to buy parts for an AMC. A what? Fom the counter person side, people are idiots. Not car guys as they know what they want/need. But the average person is lucky if they know what they drive.

 

These threads are funny as hell. The kids at my local autozone probably think I've got a hell of a car collection. When they ask me what the part is for I just make up an application...1964 Impala with a 327, 1967 Chevy Truck with a 283, 1970 Corvette with a 350. It just gets things done faster and I don't have to explain every time I go in or have them tell me my car/truck doesn't exist.

That being said, I've also had some amazing parts guys that would hunt down some pretty obscure stuff for me...like a full gasket set for a 1948 Diamond-T!

When I want to work with a real parts man, I go to my local Napa. Those guys know their stuff and I'm never asked ridiculous questions.

 

I had to buy some special bolts for a O/T car, so I ended up having to go to the dealership.

I asked the guy if he had the 4 small bolts I needed,... He looked them up,.. went to the back and came out with them,.. put them on the counter and said it would be 20 some dollars for the 4 bolts !!!!!,....

I said isn't that a lot of money for 4 bolts ???? ,.... He picked them up , looked at them, and looked right at me and said,....
"There very nice bolts !"

 

I was once told that my local chain parts store (called Supercheap Auto) didn't stock the "Aftermarket" brand, when I asked about an "aftermarket aircleaner" for my grandson's and my EuroFord Sierra longroof project.

Same store struggled to work out which gasket set to sell me, as the '84 wagon's getting an '87 engine dropped into it - both use the same gasket sets, and the young'uns behind the counter didn't believe me when I told 'em so. I ordered gaskets to fit an '84 2 litre...

 

All of this is funny! Sadly it's true.
(Side note: I've also been asked if my car is a 4-dr or 2-dr, what color it is, and whether or not it has air-conditioning, in order to buy things like brake pads, plugs, and wires .) <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
__________________This one is normal most places.

I have some old junk and my son has a 1976 El Camino 350. Most of my junk takes the same parts as his Elky so I just order parts and give them his info. A few times I had my 55 Chevy or 41 Ford at the parts house and a parts guy wanted to check the actual part to be sure. This was comical when they went outside looking for the El Camino and all they found was a yeller 41 Ford or the wagon.
As written, NAPA stores often still have older real car guys who know their shit! Ours does! Actually two women and two old dudes. This is rare.

 

me: l need a front driver side caliper for a 1977 nova.

CP. what's it on?

me: a 1948 dodge truck.

CP.( deer in the headlights look) our computer don't show that part for that year truck.

me: just give me what l want.

CP. what motor/manual/auto?

me: 327 chevy and 200R4.

CP. that's not a dodge engine l show for that year.

20 minutes of this and l had to get the "old guy" in his 30's to help me.

been 4 years of dealing with the auto store but l finally got'em trained. half the time they tell me go get my stuff in the back, you know where it is.

Later

 

I too have been on both sides of the counter and do not have a bit of problem talking about the dumb asses that are there now. Peb Boys Dallas Tx, I need wheel cylinders for a 1969 VW bug. Counter boy says you mean calipers?, no it does not have disc brakes it has drum brakes. I need wheel cylinders. My computer shows only calipers. Ok, what year does your computer go back to? 1974 he says.

 

"Are you sure it's a 350?" the kid at Auto Zone says. " Sir, The computer isn't showing a 350 in a 48 Pontiac" OMG please tell me real parts people still exist.

48 Poncho

 

My friend Brittney called in a panic one afternoon, saying that her rear wheel felt like it was going to fall off of her Jeep on I85 southbound, and asked if I could take a look at it. (She had the oil changed and tires rotated while she was home for a visit, and apparently the shop didn't tighten down on the lug nuts on the rear driver side wheel.) She nursed it to the garage, and sure enough, there were only three lug nuts left holding the wheel to the Jeep. The other two lugs were snapped off. I pulled her rear wheel and sent her and my wife to the local parts store to buy new studs for the rear axle. She walks up to the counter and says "I need a couple of studs to fit my rear end..." My wife said everyone just LOST IT, except of course for Brittney, who was oblivious to what had just come out of her mouth. Five years later I still give her shit about that one.

 

Just had to add THIS !
My Dad Ran an ESSO SERVICE STATION, in late '50's

Lady pulled halfway on to the Lub Pit, One morning.......Dad met her, an asked how he could Help her. She sez,

"I need YOU to Check MY rear end,
My Husband stuck His Finger IN IT this Mornin', And could'nt TOUCH
ANYTHING ! "
(I Swear ! )

 

This just happened today to co-worker Mike.
Customer hands him a piece of fuel hose from an emergency home genorator.
"this is leaking fuel"
Mike: "Whats it off of?"
customer: "My genorator"
Mike:"Okay,its gravity feed. Lets see what size it is"
Customer:"Can you put it on a pressure tester to make sure its bad?"

 

After ten years combined for NAPA, and Jack's Auto Supply, (you Dallas guys remember them?) and thirty years in John Deere's parts distribution system, I can't go to a parts house without getting pissed off.
It starts when I pull in the parking lot. I keep hoping I'll find that one guy that kind of knows what the hell a car is, but lately, if I walk in and no one on the counter is at least 50 or older, I just back out and go home. It's not our world anymore.....

 

ok, last week the battery in my 40 ford is dead. when I pulled it out it said dura-last.
so easy.
Me- can I have a battery just like this one.
Them- what kind of car
me- ok its a 1940 ford
them- that not the right battery.
me- I know thats why I want another one just like this. here the number on the top....

 

Not trying to defend these guys, we get the same thing here:

Them: What year is it for?
Me. That's not going to help you.
Them: I need to know what year it's for.
Me: ok, 1941
Them: oh

but, that's what you get for minimum wage.

 

Went to parts counter at Chevy house needing to confirm the tail light wire colors for a 96 Chevy pickup I was making into a trailer.

The parts guy was apologetic but the book didn't show the colors, only the associated parts.

He and I both just shook our heads over the stupidity of the beancounters who made that decision

 

I forgot that one!
The CarQuest I used to use was family-owned and gave great service.
Corporate bought them out, and this is what I got:

Me: I need a clutch kit for a 2001 Dakota with a 4.7 engine.

Corporate-hired Parts Monkey: Manual or automatic?

Me: Really?

Shortly there-after, Corporate got rid of the stools in front of the counter.

That was the last straw--I no longer buy there.

-Brad

 

At a Nationwise Auto Parts store in the late 70's.
Me: I need a freeze plug for a '69 Chevy small block.
Parts man: Is it a 2 barrel or 4 barrel?
Me: ??????? I think I'll go to a real parts house.

Just a couple of years ago I went to a good parts house to get a spin on oil filter adapter for a SBC. Counter man was late 50's....early 60's. I told him what I needed and he went to the back (without looking on the computer) and brought one out. I told him that I was glad that I got him because one of the young'uns would have asked me if it was a 2 barrel or 4 barrel. He said that wasn't true. They would ask what type of injection it has. That's when I realized that I'm old.

 

counter guy: "yeah" he says.
me: "Hi, i need new lower control arm u-bolts for my chevy truck"
counter guy: "lower control arm u-bolts?" as he looks at me like im stupid.
me: "yeah, you know, they hold the pivot shaft of the lower control arm to the cross member"
counter guy: "your kidding right?"
me: "no im not kidding"
counter guy: "we dont sell u-bolts here, try a muffler shop!"

 

You need a service manual, more specifically, the wiring diagram. Some service departments will allow you to look at them.

 

Me: "I need a thermostat for a blah blah blah...."
Counter guy: "Where would i find that?" Then he turns the computer screen around toward me..........

Went to two different "parts" stores looking for a fender mount starter relay for a Ford; BOTH places said they didn't have any and couldn't get any, the guy standing next to me at one store burst out laughing.....went to a third store and asked the young lady for one, she didn't even look at her computer, walked away and came back with one. When I told her what they told me at the other two places she said that was the fourth one she sold that day...hmmmm, wonder why.

 

Working on edsel for friend...

Me,: Need a water pump for a 59 ford edsel, 272.
Parts moron: A waterpump for a 72 ford escort? what size motor....

 

The sad part about some of what I have read here is that as near as I can tell, some of you are your worst enemy and make a game of a parts run for enertainment. The reallity of it is we are working on stuff most of these parts people have never seen and without working with them you will never get them to possibly show some interest in what you are working on. If you are a bit more patient ,maybe you can even bring them over to our hobby.

 

I work parts at a new car dealership. We really DO need a VIN to look up parts because the factory updates these POS's every third week of the Martian calendar year, so if you just enter model/year, the parts book spits out 47 different part numbers.

That aside, we still get really dumb calls, most of them from other shops needing the dealer-only parts. Like the one last week asking for a brake hose, or maybe it's the clutch hose - can you FAX me a diagram?? This after I told him that there is NO flexible hose in the brake system except for the caliper hoses.

The funny ones are like this:
"Can I get a price on a new wheel, left front, please?"
"OK, it's $xx"
"And a new tire"
"$xx"
"Oh, and a bumper"
"$xx"
"And, oh yeah, a fender"
"$xx"

It didn't take that long to figure out what this guy did, but didn't want to tell me. At least not all at once...

Cosmo

 

Also, working on my 61 unibody went to NAPA (expecting help) to get leaf spring centering bolts as i was taking out a couple leafs to lower it a tad more.
Guy at counter SWORE there was no such thing, I ask him then how the leaf pack stays together and he says its all in the weight of the car and the u bolt. Asked him how mine worked then with my axle flipped to top of spring. He continued to tell me that no such thing exsisted. I finally got loud and told him he was stupid and should learn a bit about cars before trying to sell parts for them, he agreed and i walked out. went to another NAPA, the GIRL on the counter grabbed the bolts for me right away, didnt even need to look them up.

And yes, I've been working behind the counter too. guy made me mad by refusing to even crack open a book or listen to logic. When im working the counter ill try many ideas if i dont know what the customer wants

 

My experiences with the local McParts stores are usually frustrating ones. I have one about three miles from my shop and would rather drive another two miles to a NAPA store but 2pm on a Sunday afternoon, or 7pm on a week night I don't have much choice. I dread going in because it's always a crap shoot as to whether I'll get a counter guy who will know or give a crap about what part I'm looking for. Going to the oldest guy there, as of recently there were two guys in their 50s, that could have changed since I last visited, is also a loosing proposition. The one old guy is more concerned about not having to do any extra work and impressing you with his automotive knowledge, which isn't nearly as good as he thinks. Even at the local NAPA store I know to avoid the 30 something lard ass sitting behind the counter and going directly to the two younger girls because if they don't know the part they'll dig out the old paper catalogs, large ass will just tell you they don't have it.

The stupidest thing a McParts guy told me is Ford didn't have air conditioning in 1950 when I asked for a condenser. I glanced at the computer screen and he was in the cooling section. I had to inform him I was looking for an ignition condenser. He just gave me a blank stare. Luckily an older counter guy came along and told him they were on the shelf in the second row of shelves.

 

Stopped by ford dealership.
Me: "I need a hubcap for a xx year 4 wheel drive dually truck"
Him: "do you have the VIN?"
Me: "no I just need a hubcap here I took a picture of the other one"
Him: "I still need a VIN"
Me: "please show me a picture of all truck hubcaps for this year and I will point to it"
Him: "I'll try but it will take a while."
Tick tick tick
Him: "here you go - take a look"
There are 2 pictured one for 2 wheel drive and one for 4 wheel drive. So really only one choice.
Nice guy though especially when I gave him $75 for a chromed piece of plastic.

 

If you ever built a hot rod with updated parts this could go on forever...lol

 

Just another recycling of a tired worn out thread, giving people a chance to lie about the 710 cap, the blue truck and other BS stories that they heard and now claim happened to them.
Also for the professional pricks who's sole source of entertainment is to confuse counter people by giving them half assed information and vague and nebulous answers to innocent questions.
Oh yeah, as has been pointed out to all the know it alls in the previous 100, or so, iterations of this thread, the parts guy's computer will not let him in until you supply it with the information it asks for. If you think stick or automatic is a stupid question when you want an oil filter, blame the programmer, not the counterman
Why would anyone expect a parts book to have wiring schematics and color codes??? It's a parts book, not a service manual

 

Oooooooooh yeah. The old "Condenser? They had air conditioning in 1953?" thing just reared its ugly head for me a few weeks ago too. When I said it was a part located in the distributor, I was asked what system a distributor was part of. The same guy, who I had just spent 45 minutes with trying to get him to chase me down some other parts for a 53 Chevy, then asked if I wanted injector cleaner since the car had been sitting since '86 and probably had gummed up injectors. I looked at him and said "Realllllly?" I just shook my head and left.