Funniest lines from the parts counter

Went into my normal store , and always have to mess with the newbys , Asked for 5/16 fuel line, she asks , "how long you need it"
I'll never sell the car , so I'll need it for quite a while . .......

 

you're the type of wiseguy that shits in our toilets and doesn't flush them.

or, maybe you're the scammer that brings in a customer to buy his own parts for you to install and, oddly enough, brings them all back in YOURSELF a couple of days later for a refund.........

the same type that browses the aisles for hours and when we do a walk-around later, there's empty packaging and missing stock.... yet, when we ask if there's something you're trying to find, it's always "naw, man; i got it..."

or the one who uses some off-the-wall country-ass lingo for everything that has a real, proper NAME that 99% of the english-speaking world uses.... yet YOU get pissed off when a new kid doesn't "get it" and gets frustrated with you...

try finding new kids to do parts counter work and learn to do it WELL, without getting absolutely burned out and disgusted with smartasses who seem to have a bone to pick and can't be troubled with having FACTS on hand and not just faded memories of what "Pop's Place" was in 1959...

and YES; we have a lot of fun with our regular customers. we're not sticks in the mud, we get to play our games with them as well. if you can't enjoy your job, why be there at all?

 

One day I called Ford tec group to ask them a question. I said that I had a 1950 Ford V8 Convt. They asked if it was a T Bird.

 

lol!!!!!:d

 

Upon inquiring about engine parts for a Poncho 400 in a '69 Lemans....

"Pontiac never made their own engine, they used Chevrolets"

Oh really?

 

Me: I need a ring gear for this flywheel.
Clerk: What's it off of?
Me: 1962 Chevy 283.
Clerk: What's it in?
Me: It's in a boat, it's a flywheel forward mounting.
Clerk: Then we won't have it.
Me: can I look through your book?
Clerk: Sure
Me: Can you look up a part number for me?
Clerk: what's the number?
Me: ************* (Whatever it was)
Clerk: We have that in stock, what's it for?
Me: A 1985 Camaro, but, the book says it fits a '62 283.
Clerk: I don't think it'll work.
Me: Why not, all this thing is is a standard transmission flywheel that just happens to be in a boat, can we look at it?
Clerk: OK
Clerk: Looks good.
Me: Yes,,,,,,,it does

This went on for awhile, this is the highlights.

 

Had a new guy from the parts store deliver parts today....he walks in the shop and among all the cars on the lifts and sitting he says "What do you do here? Fix cars?".....I said No, we make cupcakes.

 

Ha!

And you said that part was obsolete!

 

i don't understand, personally, why a Chebbie starter solenoid costs almost as much as a complete starter itself... i can get you one, but you're gonna have to drop the starter anyway to change it out... WTF? buy a whole starter and get a lifetime warranty on it.... no wonder we almost NEVER sell a solenoid for a GM..... but i salute the determination of those guys who buy the solenoid.

 

meanwhile my dad whos like fuckin rainman with parts numbers gets laid off by napa after 30 years and cant find a counterman job to save his life! i hate the idiots at parts stores these days...

 

Tonight, getting stuff for an O/T vehicle. A girl and a guy in the store, no one else, kinda busy so I try and sort out what I need on my own, but I get in line anyways finally to ask the guy and see if he has any ideas.

Now the girl's already seen me and admitted she'd have to get the guy to help me when I get in line to wait for him to get free when she says "I can help the next person in line" like there's 20 of us waiting instead of just me. When I don't come right over she's like "unless you need his help" and I said "well, yeah, I guess I need to talk to him" ... Part of her response: "When they hired me they told me I didn't have to know anything" ...

Then they wonder why that store isn't doing the business that it's the only one in the chain closing at 7:30 PM instead of 9:00 PM.

 

I spent several years on the counter, mostly dealership, but one guy I worked with was a real gem, Luther, tough as nails, if he knew he was bugging you he would really turn it on! I couldn't stand him when I first got in the parts dept, but after we figured we both liked to mess with people, man we had some fun! He was in the Army in the 50's, I think that's where he got a lot of his "one-liners", and he was fast at sending them! Here's one; if somebody made the mistake of saying "Luther kiss my a--". "Ya gotta move your nose" would be his come back! He died about 8 years ago, I still miss him.

 

Years ago I sold automotive hardware ( nuts -bolts clips and goodies)to car dealers . one day I was in a Cadillac parts dept and heard this--- Customer: " This costs HOW MUCH !"
Parts man : "You want to know why this part is so expensive " ?
Customer : "Yeah! "
Parts man :" It's the price , mostly" .

Man , it was hard not to burst out laughing , which would not have been good at all.

 

nobody wants to know where the "cheap" side of their car ends and the "luxury" car side begins.....
sure, Cadillac and Chevrolet are both GM... like Audi and Porsche are part of VW.... Lexus is a Toyota, Infiniti is a Nissan, and Acura is a Honda... but don't think they share much between the top and bottom!

i hear the same lament all day long when i quote prices... "You gotta be kidding! won't a part from a Chevy work?"

sometimes.... but mostly NOT, on the shit that makes a Cadillac a Cadillac!

 

Every once in a while I get lucky at the parts counter. I usually get some pimply kid but this time it was a middle aged manly woman. I picked out a battery for my Tudor and she had to fill out the warranty application. She asked me what car it was for and when I told her 1941 Ford she said oh we can only give you a 6 month warranty if it's not a car in our computer(regular warranty was three years). Just as I was about to give her grief she said "let's see what cars it fits. It fits a PT Cruiser why don't we call it that. So she wrote PT Cruiser and said just don't request road side assistance"

 

Wink wink

 

That happened to my dad years ago, he needed a power window motor for a Lincoln, the price for the Lincoln part was through the roof, but the very same part, part number and all for a Ford car was only a fraction of the cost...

 

Dude, she was flirting with you

Reminds me of the time I was helped out by a sweet young thing, before I got out of there I knew she had a kid and was in the market. Got the definite feeling she was looking for a sugar daddy. I'd have thought she was doing it to upsell me but all I was buying was oil change supplies. No funny lines that time, but definitely my most memorable trip to the parts store.

 

I don't she was flirting, pardon my bias but I don't think she was interested in the opposite sex.

 

I have most of the countermen pretty well trained now. When they ask what it is for, I say, "you dont want to know" ...but I will take it if it is 9" long and only 3" high and has four holes in it.

 

had a young female customer come in last night and she asked for the $16 " rebate" on a part her boyfriend bought a while back. i asked her what part and maybe she had a receipt? or do you mean a core charge? has the part/core been returned or is it with you? what car is it for? she said she didn't know and just wanted the $16 and if i didn't give it to her she will tell her boyfriend and he will be mad. fine! send him in. she honestly thought i'd hand her the money

a couple nights ago a customer comes in saying he needs some parts replaced under warranty..they had a lifetime warranty. i should just give them to him no charge, he will put them on and then bring in the bad parts later. no reciept , but he said he bought them from us in 2007 and we should have a record. when i told him the store was opened in 2009 he got mad and walked out

 

This happened 2 days ago.

(me) Hello Sir. Im looking for the oil change kit for my vw. Its just a gasket and screen.

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") "You mean filter and oil?"

(me) No, its just a round gasket and a screen. I already have the oil.

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") You should change the filter every time you change the oil.

(me) .....there is no filter on my car. They didn't come with filters.

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") Look man, ive been wrenchin on cars my whole life (he looks like he's maybe 19 years old) and all cars have filters.

(me) .... mine doesn't. Just a screen and magnetic drain plug.

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") ....well I would start running an oil filter instead of just a screen. Let me look it up.

(me) ....uh . ....ok?

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") ..... hey bud .. (5 min later) I'll have to special order it.

(me) ... uh ... you found an oil filter for a car that doesn't have a factory location for an oil filter? Ok then, order it and I guess Ill go home and search for a keen place to screw it on too.

(counter parts "know it all Wyotek student") . . . . yeah, thats what I would do. You wanna pre pay for that filter so you can pick it up later today?

(me) nah, i wanna see it when it comes in. thanks though

 

Do you think her version of a "sugar daddy" is a guy that changes his own oil?

 

On the phone with the local NAPA yesterday:

Me: do you guys happen to press bearings?
Parts Dufus: No, we don't
Me: Would you happen to know anyone local who does?
Parts Dufus: Like, shops
Me: Like shops?
Parts Dufus: Yeah, you know. Like shops that do that kind of stuff.

I just hung up.

Sent from my Droid powered Samsung Galaxy S

 

Amen to that! I do as much research as possible to come up with at least a part number to cross from so I can eliminate as much confusion as possible. I never expect the people behind the counter to always know what I'm talking about. I always try to educate whomever I deal with so they can help me, or the next guy, with a little more knowledge and experience on the next visit. I frequent the local parts houses enough to where they generally know to expect curve balls from me but I always help them through it. Some of them walk straight over to the books when I walk in knowing that we'll be flipping through them. You'd be surprised what places like O'Reilly can get for old stuff like ours when they know how to locate them. Most of the time, for me at least, it's in stock or I can get it the same day! Especially on my '55.

 

I walked into the local O'Reilley auto parts.

Me: I need a water pump for a Ford 300 CI six.
Parts Guy: What model? Year?
Me: Just pick an old for pickup.
Parts guy: I need to make sure I get the right one...
Me: Well, it's in a 1929 Chevrolet sedan circle track car. Its mounted on a 3/4 ton 50's ford pickup frame. I'm not sure what year the engine is. The block came with another old race car.
Part guy: (actually attempting to look up a water pump for a 300 ford six in a 1929 chevy) Uuuhmmm, I'm not seeing it.
Me: its a 1972 F-100. 300 six.
Parts guy: (not sure why I just changed my mind, certain that I'm fucking with him now) Hmm, ok. 2 wheel or four wheel drive?
Me: two wheel drive
Parts guy: Wait, what motor? What is it in liters?
Me: 4.9
Parts guy: does it have air conditioning?
Me: no
Parts guy: well we don't have one in stock, but I can order it for you.
Me: do you mean to tell me you don't have a water pump for a motor built for over 30 years?
Parts guy: well its pretty old, there isn't a lot of people that still drive them.
Me: they came in F-150s throuh 1996. Lot of those on the road.
Parts guy: do you want me to order it or not?
Me: no.

I came in the next day when my regular counter guy was there. I told him 300 six water pump, and he walked back and pulled it off of the shelf.

 

Good post man. These dickheads that rag on young people starting out in the industry need to be put in their place. Autoparts can be a difficult job, thats why they are trained to ask year make model, VIN number etc...

The Parts Man Prayer:

I work behind the counter
In an autoparts store
Sometimes I'm called a genius
Sometimes I'm called much more.

I say I'm no mechanic
But when their job goes sick
Everyone comes in and asks me
What makes the damn thing tick.

I'm supposed to know the number
Of nuts and bolts and gears
For every machine ever made
For more than a hundred years.

I'm supposed to have the answer
For everything unknown
To every Tom, Dick, and Harry
For all their questions thrown.

My life would be a pleasure
And I'd grin from ear to ear
If only they would tell me
Their Model, Make, Year AND VIN.

 

Probably more like an older guy with a job who would look at her the way I did lol.

 

I love calling ans asking for spark plugs for an 1983 Vette and say it's a one year only part. That's usually good for 30 min of entertainment.