Funniest lines from the parts counter

This actually happened last week at Autozone. I have found that sometimes goofy stuff is not the fault of the counterman. All he is doing is asking questions the computer needs to know to find a part number. The person who programmed the part information into the computer in the first place is the one I sometimes wonder about.

I needed a headlight switch for a 1966 Corvette. Chevrolet used the same one for many years and I knew Autozone carried it in stock. The questions he asked were as follows:

Car make, model, year, engine size, and finally...with or without bucket seats. Sure enough the computer was asking if the Corvette I needed a headlight switch for had bucket seats or not. I just looked at him and we both had to laugh. When he clicked "with", the part number popped up on the screen and showed they had one in stock.

 

I was a partsman for a few years. 2 times I was caught off gaurd with what I found in a parts book. Looking up a fan / alt belt for a 1970 Ford pick up. It makes a difference in the length of the belt if it has dual rear wheels. Anybody know the difference between a G M C and a Chevy steering in the early 70's? The tie rods are flipped. The outer tie rod for the chevy will be the inner tie rod for the GMC and vice versa.

 

as long as you dont tell me that my dirty air filter make a 4000 rpm stall converter your ok

 

Okay the 710 cap may be a legend, but this I saw: a guy asking for parts for a "Jazoo". It was a Pontiac J2000, and the 2 did look sort of like a Z.


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Not too funny but a good story none the less...

I go into my local LORDCO parts supplier looking for a lower rad hose for my 55 Gasser. The guy I usually deal with is busy and I'm sent off to a tall skinny guy that is working in the paint section of the counter.

He; What can I help you with?
Me; I need a lower rad hose for my 55 Chev Gasser, the hose looks something like this. ( I have one mocked up from a bunch of PVC fittings)

He; Geez that looks kinda funky, what engine is it for and what rad is in the car?
Me; 396 out of a 69 Chevelle and it's an aluminum rad custom built.

He; Come with me out back and let's have a look.
Me; Great let's go...

We find a couple of 'maybe's and back to the counter we go.

He; See which one fits the best, bring the other back for a refund.
Me; Sure no problem, he's at the computer clacking away...

He; You got an account here?
Me; Yup but I can't remember the number, but my name is CF.

He; I know you!
Me: You do? (I have been working over seas before the kid was born)

He; Yup.... you used to drag race with my old man.
Me; Really, who is your old man?

He; Big Ernie, he used to own the Shell service station in Grand Prairie.
Me; No shit, really.

He: Here you go, I have given you the 'sole brother discount'. Nice to finally meet you.
Me; Same here, thanks, say hi to your Dad from me.
He; Ernie had a heart attack and passed away a couple of months ago.
Me; At a complete loss for words, shook his hand....finally said 'sorry', tears welling up in my eyes, went to the other counter, paid for my stuff, brought the one back that didn't fit.

Here we have a great counter guy, second generation gear head, knows his stuff and knew me through his Dad when I used to race with him 30 years ago. Amazing!

 

Well crap...I stand corrected. Wish he had told me that.

 

I work on a lot of newer ot stuff in my small shop, recently called a Kia dealer for a cable that operates the interior door handle release, a lady answered at the parts counter and as I attempted to explain what I needed, she politely and professionally interrupted me and told me exactly what I needed. When the part arrived it was the right one. I called back and thanked her for her help.

 

That would be the transition from the 318 poly to the 318 LA I think.

 

Wow Zapper68 that was a great story. Thanks for sharing it with us....

 

Lordco is in Alberta now? Didn't know that.

 

Nope, The LORDCO I deal with is in Kelowna...The kid has been living there since he left GP.

 

Went to the parts house where i normally go and most guys know me and know what i drive...
me i need a oil filter for a SBC 350 block year is 77
them whats it in
me 55 ford f100
them 2 wheel or 4 wheel drive
me 2
them what size motor
me Chevy 350
them 1/2 ton
me yes
them that motor didnt come in that truck
me yes i know thats why i asked for a SBC 350
oil filter for a 77 block

other guys behind counter are laughing at this point

 

Do you have valve lash caps?

Dunno, there are some hats and shirts up at the register.

 

How about the reverse?

i been in the parts bussiness for 12 years, i was working one day and a customer comes in and asks "do you have the little lever that goes on the toilet to flush it?" i said "uh this is an auto parts store!....no!"

 

I get this one all the time, only with Autolite 26's. I finally bought a case of 100 off of eBay.

 

I have gotten this too. I went to buy a fan belt, even knew the size. It took the parts guy and the manager both asking what it was for. I replied, "it doesn't matter." They said they need to know. "Fine, a '32 Ford with a Small Block Chevy, and a custom alternator mount." Finally I said "fuck it" and went down the street to the other store.

 

One time I went to a parts store and asked for something really off the wall ------ like an water pump for a 32 Ford ... BUT HERE`S THE TWIST : It`S GOT A 350 CHEVY !!!! WOW ! I AM SPECIAL NOW.

 

Me: I need some 90 wieght oil for my rear axle.
Guy: Idk if we have 90lbs of it, our biggest is a gallon jug.

 

Brother had a chopped tubbed blown shaved frenched sectioned Chevy. We went to the parts store and asked for a fairly standard part (can't remember at the moment). Lady looks out the window and says "you boys doo dadding up an old pickup?" Still not sure if she was screwing w/ him or not but he was already about 40k deep into that thing.

Yesterday I was victim to the dreaded computer version of 20 questions. Looking for a seat cover for my crappy 68 suburban. Uh, 2 wheel drive or 4? ...
Guy takes me to a shelf and says " there it is- the compact one"
Me "um, do you know what a suburban is?"
Him "yeah, it's that really big %€€€#} out there"
Me "and you're sure this Compact seat cover will fit?"
Him "yep"
Didn't buy a seat cover yesterday

 

My local parts people are normally pretty awesome, and always ready to joke with me, and I enjoy that, they can also find the obscure vintage parts I often need without getting the least bit confused.

Reading some of these tales shows me how lucky I am!

 

I deal with that on an almost daily basis. If only people would read their owners manuals.....but I guess that is why they pay me the "big bucks" at least thats what they tell me...

 

I worked at a discount speed shop in the late '70s in San Francisco. Guys of every age, color and creed came through those doors. Biggest movers were headers and carbs, we bought them direct, sold at jobber and advertised on the major radio stations. It was rough, rough I tell you, many of these guys would have trouble installing a shift knob let alone headers on a Pontiac. And at least once a week one would come in asking for a $49.95 "Holley Carbonator" they heard about on the radio.

 

This just in, news flash, bulletin, times have changed.

 

Ok, I get it now. I knew they had grown alot, but didnt think they were in AB.

 

Getting parts at Autozone, I dont remember what for. But I answered all his silly questions and then told the kid AM/FM Cassette and crank windows and bench seat!

 

I get a bit peeved at the counterguy who insists on knowing what the parts are going on, even after I've provided him the part numbers of the parts I know his store carries! You'd figure going in prepared with information would help...eh, sometimes not so much. I was working on my Dodge Coronet, and needed a WIX 51515 oil filter, a Fram G2 fuel filter, and a Borg Warner S339 switch. I had the part numbers, did he need to know the car?

 

My local orilys guys are pretty cool, they all know when I come in it going to be a scavenger hunt. When I did the disc conversion on my wife's galaxie, the guy had no problems pulling about a dozen rotors til I found one that would work. They only ask what I'm working on because they get a kick out of how many differen parts I use on one car. One of the guys even want me to donk out his Turd Buick because everybody else told him it was impossible, and he knows that I could make it work. I just don't want to do it.

I have had a autozone guy that wouldn't sell me some brake lines because I was using them on the intended vehicle. I stay out of the zone, and there parts suck.

 

I don't know which store and what parts, but unless you're selling AC Delco, I'll take the replacement solenoid every day. They'll have to pry my original starter from my cold dead hands...the offshore "lifetime warranty" starters are junk!

 

used to work at a local new car dealer back in the 80s - I always told my buddy at the parts counter that he did'nt want me to jump across the counter at him--he always said I'd look like hell when I came back across--this happened at least 1 time every day

 

Went to Autozone the other day to get a pilot bushing. I ask the guy if they have some I can look at. He doesn't have any idea what it is.
So he puts 'bush' into the computer.
Pages of bushings show up.
I suggest to try 'pilot' since there should only be one thing called pilot on a car.
He types 'pilet' nothing comes up.
I said that's not the right spelling.
He types 'pilat' nothing
So being as helpful as possible I say slowly 'P' he types and waits.
I say 'I' he types and waits ... 'L' ? I say.
Then 'O' then 'T' he waited for every letter.
Bingo we got one!
He was college age. Little worried for the USA these days.