Funniest lines from the parts counter

actually there were about 160 different makers of them

 

I went in a pep boys about 20 years ago to pick up a 4 bbl carb for a friend, I held it on it's side to look at the base because the last one he had ordered was screwed up.

As soon as I did, the kid yanked it out of my hand, yelled I had screwed up the float and told me to leave.

 

Yesterday, after installing the spare tire kit into the trunk:
Salesman "Where are the instructions?"
Me "What instructions?"
S "For changing the spare tire!"
M, slowly "In the owner's manual."
S "Anywhere else?"
M "No."
S "Really?"
M "Yes, they've been in owner's manuals since, owner's manuals."

And he's one of our smarter ones.

Cosmo

 

thats why I learned the walk down the stairwell prank , you go behind a gondola ( parts rack ) turn like there is a banister in the ailse and walk forward and start hunching down like there is a stairwell . . screws with there minds and they do walk over to see if there is a stairwell . example: http://youtu.be/UkxxkpJ0ZOU

 

I call BS. 64 1/2 Auto Zones had 4 wheel discs

 

All 64 1/2 Auto Zones were actually titled as 65's.

 

try it with semis , the combinations of drivelines are endless , when you think you have seen it all , somethng weird shows up , we had a Hendrickson with a detroit v-12, quad box , with a splitter , and tranfster case ( yes all axles powered like a cement truck , on a 2 speed planetary axles and I forgot what size tires ( about 60" tall ) but they were floaters . you could put all the selectors in low fire it up let out the clutch go make a pot of coffee , and the thing would have moved about 5 feet in that time , but .. it had so much torque it could pull a barge across dry land . it was made for oil service originally the owner uses it for moving heavy hauls , the only problems is trying to keep the tires planted on the ground , they often have to put steel billets on it for traction and the tires were filled with chloride . the top speed on the thing was low , so they moved it on a lowboy to the job sites .

 

It was a NASCAR homologation thing.

I have bad luck going into parts stores. If I know what I need and where it is, it never fails there will be an employee asking me if I need help. But on the occasion when I do need assistance they're always helping some dufus decide what wax to buy. So now when I go in and they ask if I need help I say "If I did you wouldn't be standing there".

 

What's The Trick To the Parts Countermen Staying Awake All day ?

 

One day in our store a gentleman entered in an obvious hurry; "Bob Peters here?" "Nope!" our counterman replied just as hastily, "Just sell Auto Parts!"

 

on rainy days you always sell a lot of windshield wipers..hardly any on sunny days

yesterday morning it was raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.a guy comes in needing the cheapest wipers we had for his dodge grand caravan. as i'm ringing him up he asks if i could put them on.

me: i will when the rain stops or a least slows down.... it's a downpour out there.
him: i need them on now and i don't want to get soaked
me: and you want me to get soaked for a $10 sale? not going to happen. why didn't you buy them yesterday when it wasn't raining
him: because it wasn't raining yesterday

 

wouldn't you just call it the FIRST brake cable in your language of secret code ????
sometimes extra explanation is in order

 

It's normally listed as the front cable in the system when I order them.

 

Yep, anytime I call the parts store and ask for a front cable they know what I want.

 

Yes they normally list a front, maybe an intermediate and right and left wheel cables.

 

emailed fusick auto parts
me. yeah i need these parts for my front suspension i included a pic i took of my car suspension area
guy writes back..thats not a 56 oldsmobile..they have ball joints
me.. no thats my car
guy..no the picture you have isnt a 56 oldsmobile
me...what????just send me those parts please

 

You guys just gotta hit up the oldest parts house in your neighborhood and stop messing with these walmart parts stores. At the place I go, the guys know a ton and they make fun of people that don't know what to calls things. Seems like a bad business practice embarrasing customers, but it works for them and they've been in busniess 60 plus years.

 

Humans seem to be the only species that have successfully out-dumbed the process of natural selection. It's baffling, really.

 

so, Cobalt; if that pic is the front suspension of your car, and you don't have stock style suspension, and you don't tell the guy what you used to build it..... what's your gripe? granted, if that IS the stock design, just how many parts in it are stock?

here's another killer for you. when we reach a point where there are multiple options, the customer ALWAYS asks for the cheapest one. never mind that, especially in newer cars, you CANNOT simply choose cheap over RIGHT.... every maker likes to put some kind of twist in the design so that each damn part HAS to be the correct one for the application or it WILL NOT WORK, and that always ends up being OUR fault.

 

wellllll mr 62 rebel if someone calls and tells you what parts he wants and even gives the part numbers that you have instock all the time and even shows you a picture of his car and you still proceed to tell him he has another car... i thought it was funny..i laughed about it ...ps its stock from the factory..has been since 1956 thanks...pss put a smile on your face and have a snickers candy bar...and stay outta my trash...

 

and if ya didnt get it...raccoon....trash...your profile pic...oh hell nevermind,,

 

This one time, I went to a parts store and asked the counter guy for a part and he didn't know what I was talking about because I paraphrased everything and used esoteric terms (like any hot rod guy worth his salt does). So I left the store without the part and wasted a trip across town because I am obviously smarter than some dumb parts store guy.

 

This used to happen to me quite often when working at the parts counter.
Me, answering the phone: "Hello, Parts Department!"
Person on other end: (GASP!)......"Is....this...Elmhurst..Hospital??"
Me: "No Ma'am, This is Chicago Kenworth. You're one digit off."
Her: "Ohhh....Thank you!"

 

hahahahahaha

 

Why have I never seen this thread? This is the funniest ever...

 

Me: I walked in and headed for the battery rack. Guy steps up and says can I help you. I said I need a 6 volt battery.
Him: We dont have 6 volt batteries.
Me: I cant believe that, are you sure?
Him: He asks the other guy, "do we have any 6 volt batteries".
Other guy: No. We only don't have many flashlight batteries. Try a hardware store.
Me: No I want a 6 volt car battery
Both of them agree: They don't make 6 volt car batteries.
Me: Yes they do and Duralast makes them. You sell Duralast, you may not stock them but they make them. At that point I went to the battery rack. Now the one guy is getting mad and telling me they don't have any 6 volt batteries. I see the battery I want and pick it up. Put it on the counter. He says that's not a 6 volt battery. I said I'll take it anyway and make it work. The manager comes out of the back and asks whats going on. I tell him his crew needs more training.
This was supposed to be a funny thread but its really a sad commentary on our times.

 

true.

I dealt w/ O'reilly's at the beginning of last week (new-ish store), called in to add to my order that was waiting for me so I could just run in & pick up everything instead of dealing w/ all the, "can I help you's" when I get one foot in the door.

me: I want to add a Mr. Gasket fuel filter to my order.
sales: ok, what is the gasket for?
me: it's fuel filter, Mr. Gasket brand...I have the part number *now losing my patience
sales: that's not a part number, we don't have that.
me: I'm looking at your website, it states it's in stock at your store.
sales: no we don't stock that.
me: yes you do.

He finally asks someone & found it. A few days later the manager shows up at my dad's bodyshop, peddling the new store...my dad gave him shit about his sales ppl, after I picked up my stuff & complained that I'd never shop there again. I rec'd just as bad of service when I went in to pick up my order, staring at you like deer in headlights when you tell them what you are there for. Ok, you asked if you could help me, now it's your turn to put a little effort in.

 

There used to be a girl at the parts store here who really didnt know anything about cars but she would do anything to help get what I needed. I got parts for 5 different cars one day (for my hotrod) and she never blinked

 

Maybe the Elmhurst Hospital Parts Department could special order her that finger she's missing.

 

no harm, Cobalt; that's my avatar and i'm sticking to it.... I'd put my own raccoon's pic up there but they're on my cell phone. you left out the part about giving them part numbers... shit; I WISH my customers would do that more often.
BTW... I didn't know Olds still had kingpins in '56.... I thought everybody but AMC and Stude had balljoints by then.

here's another Jim Island gem:
customer: "gimme a holley power valve"
me: "which one?"
customer: "doesn't matter, they're all the same"
me: "hokay..."

we're constantly turning over staff; it's tough to get people that both know a vacuum advance from a choke pulloff and will work for just over minimum wage..... we can put a warm body behind the counter and try to educate them as they go along, but folks with any knowledge just don't want to do this for a living.
I know it's frustrating to encounter inexperienced counter people, it's more frustrating to have them give up and quit because they're under pressure to know everything immediately.