Folks Of Interest I'm devastated. Bad bad news.

On the farm.

Sandy had often said, "I'd like to live on a big old farm...on a gravel road off of a gravel road." We found a place...a big old farmhouse on a 200 acre farm a few miles outside of Capac, Michigan. We've rented here for almost 9 years. The house has "ambiance"...meaning it's kind of junky and drafty, and I've had to fix a lot of stuff...very often at our own expense, (that I couldn't get the stupid landlord to do) but we had lots of room. I had use of a couple of the outbuildings to work on my cars and store parts in, and Sandy enjoyed the scenery and seclusion.

The area behind the house was pretty bare when we moved here. There was nothing much more than a couple of big trees. With everything being so open, and big farm implements and trucks often driving through and kicking up dust from the driveway, and the breeze blowing from across the open plow field, there wasn't much privacy, but there was sometimes plenty of wind and dust. So with permission from the landlord, first we planted a bunch of pine trees and other things along the driveway...and that helped. It still wasn’t quite enough, so we continued until it was pretty much all filled in along the driveway. Then we planted a lot of flowering bushes and small trees around the yard. I built a patio with large paver stones that wrapped around two sides of the house...sunny and hot on the south side, and shady and cooler on the east side. I tilled up some curvy flowerbeds, and we added wrought iron arches, a small pond with a fountain and fish and stuff, and last year, I built a big gate at the end of the sidewalk that leads from the driveway to the back door, made of 150 year old barn wood that a local farmer gave to me…and that filled in the last open spot along the driveway. I mostly did whatever Sandy wanted. And Sandy planted flowers. We'd often enjoy sitting on the patio and discussing what we might do next We’d add a little more each year, and filled the place in. Sandy placed lots of wind-chimes, bird feeders and bird baths around the place, and always kept the birds and critters fed well. She’d even spread peanut butter on the bark of the trees. We had birds galore...and squirrels...and possum...and raccoons...and rabbits...and deer...and skunks, etc. Sandy loved it. I liked it too. We had no reason to go anywhere else to be entertained.

Unfortunately, due to financial problems in recent times, we fell behind on rent, and were finally given notice to leave. I begged the landlord to give me a little more time. But he'd had enough. We were very sad that we had to leave. With having to move and Sandy's passing, this era of my life is over. Sandy and I had talked about it more than once...and we both agreed that neither of us would enjoy the farm without the other. Even if I could, I don't wanna stay here. I'm missing her terribly.

Sandy loved the farm.

Front




Back




The view from the upstairs back room, looking to the southwest. We started out planting a few trees and bushes along the driveway.








And just kept adding to it. Took some time. Notice the trees are quite a bit bigger now.
Springtime.




At one point, we had multiple purple hibiscus bushes at the end of the sidewalk. But ended up putting those out in the yard and planted evergreens alongside the gate. Sandy said the evergreens block better...all year long. But those purple bushes sure looked pretty in the summer.






Autumn.




Sandy liked spring best.

 

But she enjoyed dressing up the place for every season.














She'd hang any number of various flags out front, depending on the season.

 

A beautiful place with beautiful memories. Cling to those memories. I'm confident that things will be better in time.

 

You're starting a new chapter in your life,my friend. May it bring you joy sometime in the near future.

 

Rickybop

So sorry for your loss... hang onto the memories.

You will make it thru all this my friend...

Rog

 

I`m very sorry for your loss.

 

It looks like you did your best to give her what such a Godly woman deserved. Take solace in that my friend. I'm sure she could not have been appreciated by anyone else any better than you. God put her in your life because he knew you'd give her more than what money could buy in the short time she was here.....and she'll always know that.
God bless and keep you,
Chuck

 

I don't WANNA start another fkn CHAPTER!!! Fuuuuuck!!!

Sorry Jim...I always seem to vent on you.

I'm so sad.

Gotta go.

 

I know you don't.

It's O.K. to vent on me, if it helps you at all.

Good night.

 

so sorry to hear that buddy, sincere sympathy, from across the pond

 

So sorry for your loss Rick

 

We will be praying that God will give you the strength to endure your great hardship.
Tim

 

Geeze Ricky, I'm sad for you too.

These are tough times and the are the worst things to go thru. Things aren't ok now, they aren't going to be the same ever. But here's what will happen. Eventually you will be Ok, different but Ok. It's tough work to keep your chin up enough to get thru it but you can do it. You had a chance to actually hold what some people think doesn't exist. Some day here soon, maybe just for a few seconds at first, but you will be just a little happier that it happened than you are sad that she's gone. I promise you that, it will happen and when it does that will be your first seconds of you being OK. Remember where you are, what you were doing, what you were thinking, maybe write it down. Those seconds, and they will come, are your first look at the next chapter.

I'm praying for you my friend,

 

Rick

I've read through most of your posts and it's made me a better man and more thankful for what I have in my life. Thank you for that.

You know,many folks have never known the kind of love that you and your wife shared,so you're lucky in that way. I pray that the sweet memories will help sustain you in days ahead.

God bless you.

Tom

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I have read this whole post and have grown a great amount of respect for you and Sandy. I know at this time you are in no mind to start thinking about the new chapter of your life. You will adventure into this new chapter because you are the man that Sandy chose to grow with as shown in these last pictures I've seen, to keep the meaning of your relationship with her alive, Sandy would want it no other way. Be strong, take time to mourn my friend. Know that everytime you see something that Sandy was involved with that she is talking to you, telling you she loves you and is looking out for you.

God Bless

 

sorry for your loss

 

I'm ok...had a some intense emotions after I posted last night. Everything you're saying is true of course, but sometimes it hurts real bad. I'm grateful for my friends here though...I don't know what I'd do without you...you've all been a great comfort to me. Without you guys, it would've been much worse. Thank you.

 

so sorry friend, prayers sent.

 

I'm sorry

 

Our prayers go out to you. So sorry to hear of your loss.

 

So sorry for your devastating loss Rick, may she be at peace but walk along side you, prayers are with you all the way from New Zealand.

 

The first year we lived here, we bought a tractor...a 1953 Allis Chalmers CA. Gotta have a tractor when you live on a farm. We just wanted it so we could pull a little dump trailer around to haul stuff...rocks, dirt, wood, my car parts, etc...and also so we'd have something to ride around on...a toy. I mounted a second seat behind the first. Sandy would wrap her arms around me...like on a motorcycle...and we'd putt-putt around the farm...across the fields and way back into the woods. We'd stop sometimes, turn off the engine and just sit and survey the land, or watch a mother deer and her fawn or maybe some baby geese waddling along single file behind their mother...or any number of other wild animals that roamed the place.

 

Jesus Rick....Hang in there bud...I just sent you an email.

 

Very, very, sorry to hear this. I pray God give you the grace to come to terms with all of it.

I am certain that a woman of her faith and character would want you to be at peace after some time dealing with your grief.

I WILL pray for you man....

God bless.

 

Sandy loved our pets.


Sandy was so sweet and kind and loving toward all living things...other people, the wild animals...and our pets.


Punkin

Even though I don't have a picture of her handy, I can't talk about all these pets we've had and not mention Punkin. She was Sandy's and my first pet. She was a female Maine Coon mix cat, and gave us many children. We had a bit of trouble getting rid of her little ones, (mostly because we didn't want to) and nearly became "The Cat People". One of her daughters was very special to me. She would actually fetch...every single time. It was awesome.



Zeus


One day, as a surprise gift for Sandy, I brought home a bird...a male cockatiel named Zeus. (Zuzu bird) I brought Zuzu and his cage into the house, and sat the cage on Sandy's ottoman in front of her. She was thrilled...smiling and laughing and just expressing her happiness to have such a pretty bird. But then I opened the cage door and let Zuzu get onto my finger and brought him out of his cage. I told Sandy, "Put out your finger." She was like, "But...what...?" I told her, "You can hold him." I stood there and watched Zuzu bouncing up and down on Sandy's finger, chirping happily...and Sandy actually crying with joy...because unknown to me, she didn't realize that some birds will let you hold and pet them. It was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes too.








Chewbacca

Chewbacca (Chewydog) belonged to a friend of mine (Kathy) who lived on the east side of Detroit. Chewbacca was a fitting name for him, because he had long reddish brown hair just like Chewbacca in Star Wars. Whenever I visited Kathy, I could see that Chewy was a sweet old guy, and that he seemed kind of stressed living in such a small crowded house with only a postage stamp sized back yard with two other very large dogs. He'd hang out with me as Kathy and I sat and talked, and I "joked" a couple times about taking Chewy home with me. One day when I was over there, Kathy told me that she was going to have to move, and she wouldn't have room for all her pets...and would I want to take Chewy? Sure...you bet I would. Kathy told me he loved going for rides. I looked at Chewy and asked, "Wanna go for a ride?" He got all excited and said, "Rar rar rar rar rar!!!" (Yes!!!) And off we went. He was so excited and attentive as we made our way home in the country, and I suddenly realized that I doubted he'd ever seen such wide expanses of land in his life. We happened to see a herd of deer out in a field, and he just about jumped outa his skin! I got him home, fed him, and he immediately plopped down by the front door and fell asleep...as if to say, "Finally...I'm home." He was kind of skinny and his hair was extremely long and unkempt...he looked like an old hippy with all that hair hanging down in his face. But with good food and a haircut, he gained some weight and got handsome real quick. I think he loved the farm as much as Sandy and I did, and he'd follow along when Sandy and I would ride around on the tractor. He loved to go for rides. I'd keep his collar hanging on the handle of the stove door. I'd ask him, "Wanna go for a ride?" And he'd do his "Rar rar rar" thing. I'd say, "Well, go get your collar."...and he'd gently pull the collar from off the stove and bring it to me. He loved to go to McDonalds and get a cheeseburger! When he'd see those golden arches, he'd start salivating. One time, one of the girls at the drive-through tried to give him some dog "cookies". He wanted nothing to do with them...he was here for the cheeseburgers. Sandy even took to calling him Chewy Cheeseburger...lol. He was pretty old when we got him, and he was with us for only about three years...but those were the absolute best years of his life.


Chewy and Cosmos cuddling. Good pals.





Cosmos

Sandy had often said that she'd like to have a really fluffy long-haired white cat. One day while reading the newspaper classifieds, I saw that someone had some "Peach-tipped" Himalayan kittens for sale in our area. I mentioned it to Sandy, but she was hesitant to spend the money on herself. (of course) But I convinced her to go look...and she fell in love. There was only one kitten left...a female...the runt of the litter...and she came home with us. Sandy named her Cosmos...like the universe. Just a little thing, she was...a sweet little fluff ball. And funny too. When she got older, she'd run up the stairs so fast, and grab the banister pole at full speed and swing around it in a circle. Sandy called her our "pole dancer".


Beautiful Cosmos.




Sandy and Cosmos reading. Both in heaven now.




Cosmos and Lizzy. Cosmos loved everybody.





Lizzy

Lizzy was another bird I brought home to surprise Sandy with. I'd been reading about Parrotlets...the smallest parrots in the world...the little birds with the big personalities...and decided to get one. They were right...just a little thing, but what a clown...lol. And sweet too...very loving. Sandy loved her very much and named her after her mother Lizzy.


Lizzy in Sandy's pocket. Eyes closed, just lovin' the lovin'.





Happy

Happy was a Border Collie. He started out as our landlord's dog actually. (they live across the road from us) But after a time, Happy became more ours than theirs. What a dog...stamina to spare. He'd try to herd anything. Since he had no sheep to herd, he'd try to herd the birds and geese! (as if...lol) He wore a figure eight path across the back yard chasing the sparrows from one bush to the other. He'd play fetch the stick 'til I was exhausted.


Happy and me.





Jada

Jada is a Green Conure...and a problem child. She was given to us by my brother and sister-in-law. They told us that she's just too loud and "protective of her cage." Understatements, both. Holy cow, she can screech. And she'll eat your fingers if you're not careful. Sandy and I talked many times about getting rid of her. But we figured that nobody would understand her the way we do...and we never could bring ourselves to do it.


"Hello. I'm a sweet bird. Come here and give me a kiss."...CHOMP!





Rocky

Rocky is a Sugar Glider. If you've never seen one, do a search on Youtube to get the idea of what they're all about. They're indigenous to Australia and New Zealand. They're about the size of a small chipmunk when grown. They're marsupials...like kangaroos, the mothers have pouches to carry the babies after they're born. And they have extra skin between their front and hind legs that enables them to glide from tree to tree...like a flying squirrel. Sugar Gliders are nocturnal...they're up at night and sleep during the day. And they're extremely loving animals...especially if raised from a baby as I did with Rocky. I'm his daddy. (or maybe his mommy...I'm don't know) But he's my buddy for sure. And he's smart. And he can hold his own...he's not afraid of much. When I brought him home, he was so tiny. I could easily hold him in one hand, and all you'd see is his long tail sticking out. Sandy would call him our ardvark because of his elongated nose. Or our alien because of his all black eyes. He was running around on the back of my chair when Cosmos saw him for the very first time. She was like, "Oooooh...lunch maybe?" But she soon found that Rocky is no mouse, and wasn't gonna run. He came right up to her...his nose to hers...and they were buddies since. He'd actually climb right on her. (he can cling to almost anything) Rocky and Cosmos would tear around the house together...chasing each other. There goes Cosmos...zoom! There goes Rocky...boink boink boink boink boink. And then back again. Up the stairs. Down the stairs. Sandy and I spent hours at a time watching them run around. Just hilarious. Rocky always wakes up about 9 or 10 in the evening and starts bouncing around his cage. Cosmos would always come to us and say "Meow!" (time to get Rocky out of his cage) One time, Sandy and I were in the living room watching tv. We had been watching Cosmos's and Rocky's antics...we knew they were about. But they weren't in the living room at that moment. All of a sudden, Cosmos comes tearing down the hall and through the living room with Rocky on her back...up on her neck...riding her like a jockey rides a race horse...and holding on for dear life. It was amazing and hilarious and we laughed 'till we cried.


Sandy holding Rocky as a young boy. Cute.




Rocky now. He's gotten a little bigger. He could probably stand to lose a few grams. He eats lots of different things. Sometimes when I make his plate, I wanna eat it myself.




I should also mention our newest addtion...even though I don't have a picture of her...a stray cat that has turned into our darling. I had seen this short-haired gray cat around the house before. But every time I'd say, "Hey kitty kitty kitty.", she'd run like the wind. She's got really long legs, and I've never seen a cat run so fast...all the way back to the barns. But one night last summer, Sandy and I were sitting on the patio and we heard "Meow"...and there she was. The cat must've been hungry to come so close...but she was still wary. We couldn't hardly see her 'cause she's all gray and it was dark out. Of course Sandy immediately went into the house and came back with a bowl of warm milk...and the cat lapped it up greedily...and then came to us and let us pet her. And even though Sandy had always said, "I never want a short-haired cat.", she became ours in short order. We named her Shadow, but mainly just call her "Kitty Cat". Sandy would joke and say that someone is gonna ask what our cat's name is...and we'd tell them "Kitty Cat".

Anyway, these were our "children", and all these little boys and girls are gone now too...except for Rocky, Jada and Shadow, who are still here with me. I really hope that animals go to heaven too, and Sandy is playing with Punkin, ZuZu, Chewy, Cosmos, Lizzy and Happy again.

 

I would like to dedicate this song to you and your wife.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xq7aYTVfJh4

 

Oh my gosh. Look what George's (falcongeorge) little daughter Emily did for me. She made a card all by herself and had her daddy send it to me to make me feel better. Emily explained everything about the card. On the cover is a "happy flower". Inside are "baby kitties" flying around the happy face heart. The writing on the right says "Happy Birthday Rick, I hope you feel better."

I'm overwhelmed.

Thank you Emily. You're the dearest little girl in the whole world. Your card really did make me feel much better. - Rick

 

What a great thing to do and reading your post I can tell it gave you a boost.