"(Things are getting) Worse"!!!

In Times Like These, it's cool to be where we are and doing what we're doing! To say that there's an unprecidented amount of freedom within the hot rodding hobby right now qualifies as a gross understatement! There's guys writing checks for lawnchair haulers and guys building rat rods to make a fashion statement while taking a stand against the Establishment in some imagined Revolution, and everyone in between.

Gone are the days when rodding was a small community of gearheads building, driving and living for their cars. No longer are hot rods stripped down, purpose-built machines, but rather trinket-adorned status symbols bragging one-upmanship and crossing into the realm of prime time cable television. Everybody is getting into the act to claim their little slice of the Action!

Magazine editors take parts donated from advertisers and talk rodding legends into building them a killer showpiece to grace the cover, while down the street guys in Bowser costumes put skulls and pointy things on their Rat Rods and drop beer cans through the open floor boards to fuel their angst. Somewhere on TV Superstar "Builders" slap together SEMA infomercial Rides in testimony to the spirit of unlimited excess meeting mass marketing strategy.

America is in LOVE with 'hot rods' and everyone is the next Tim Allen in their sub-division. They now need a HOT ROD to compliment the Harley they never really learned how to ride...the same bike they wheel out into the driveway on sunny weekend afternoons to wash and wax before maybe working up the nerve to don their Biker Costume to go bobble and weave their way up to the trendy steakhouse while the wife follows in the SUV. How much cooler it would be to have one of those HOT ROD CARS in the garage so both Biff and Buffy could ride together to enjoy their $40 plate in the cute little joint with old license plates on the walls and a waitstaff that sings to them?!

Woodward Avenue...once the street racing outlaw strip and unofficial factory proving grounds for Detroit Iron in the Musclecar Era now plays host to Ice Cream Social 'Hot Rodding' in a sickening display of corporate sponsorship that would make a NASCAR driving suit green with envy! It's a Celebration of the HOT ROD...and for ten bucks a beer and eight bucks a hot dog, you can snack on it and DRINK to it while local news crews put your party on TV!

Counter-culture Heroes flaunt ridiculous cartoon wrecks as homages to what never was...but nobody bothers to check the Facts...so long as the story sells! It's the Hey-day of the HOT ROD...and you can't hide from it anywhere!

Kids idolize Jesse James and Buy department store chopper bikes instead of garbage picking old bicycles to build their own, UNIQUE creations. Just pick the color you like and point Mommy to it!

Die Cast cars fill desks, shelves, drawers and garage workbences once reserved for setting up ring and pinions or lapping valves at home. All scales from pocket sized to ones your cat could drive are represented and selling faster than they can be spit out, so EVERYONE can own a HOT ROD collection of their own!

Everyone struts around in t-shirts advertising products they've never used or bought, names they don't know, and events they've never been to. If the logo invokes a nostalgic gleam, or appears on the latest episode of Check Me Out Garage, it'll be on every Yuppie who's SOME Yuppie by week's end!!

Somewhere in this whole Amusement Park of Hot Rod Gluttony exists a largely silent band of dedicated folk who just do what they do and side-step the Hollywood lights and Walk of Fame to tinker, tune and tweak. It's these folks who suffer in the wake of this whole Circus, seeing prices take off as Collectors and Market Speculators scour the countrysides in full Yuppie Treasure Hunter mode to be the one who rapes the next Barn Find in the name of e-bay glory! Guys building real rods now compete with costumed SUV warriors hauling trailer loads of artifacts to the nearest Swap Museum (we used to call 'em swap meets, but now they serve as a staging area for braggarts to show off their finds and guess at how much they'll bring on e-bay) for a day or two of Proud Display!

The ranks are spread far and wide, and water is getting scarce as the flames engulf a nation swept with HOT ROD FEVER...head for the hills...run for your lives...and, by the way, you wanna SELL that flathead intake? It would be SO cool sitting next to the cash register in my cutesy hot rod restaurant!!!

Freedom of Expression is at an all time High in the rodding community...but nobody stops to think just WHAT they're expressing anymore, do they? It's all "Hey! Look at THIS!" without regard for just what 'it' is, or what 'it' represents...so long as it sells.

Car shows were never anything to crow about, but they had their traditions and their organized priorities to keep things within the Program. But nowadays, things have slid back a notch or ten. Prestigious Awards are strategically distributed on a 'Pay Here and Wait Your Turn' basis to selected Superstar "Builders" and Shops so that everyone who Pays to Play can boast of their "(insert name of prestigious award here) Award-winning car 'building' ability in the ads they run to promote their shop or the products they're paid to endorse in the Authoritative magazines.

(Sometimes, the ads even make it into the magazine's art department BEFORE the winner of the awards are announced....OOPS! Heh heh...Ssssshhhh!)

So, is it truly the Best of Times...or the Worst of Times?

For them that it matters to, it doesn't make any difference!

"Pass me the chips, turn up the radio!" - Too Much Joy

 

you type to much, you need a hobby.

 

I read half of that shit and got bored...are you on meds?

 

FH...as always..your sermons are better than mine.. a pleasure...

 

yeah...thats what i was thinking...
long read though...

 

I dunno...does brake parts cleaner count???

The fumes have a kinda cool effect in an enclosed area...but my bearings are CLEAN!

 

Yeah...........what he said

 

So what is the "true soul of hot rodding" that this carnival of comercializm is destroying????

You don't seem to explain it. I for one would like to know....(actually, I do know)...I'd just like to hear someone else explain it.

 

Here's the shortened & condensed version for you quick & dirty types! Good writing, Mr Hack.

 

Sounds like Hack could be suicidal...this rant and all...naw... he's just drunk? Anyone know where he lives?...maybe check on him?

 

Hiya Buddy,

Just read through your thoughts on how things are shaping up in the Hot rod world. I guess what started as a fun way of escaping the dull drudgery of real life has slowly become a commercial product and and as such is marketed to the masses for big bucks$$$$$

When I was a kid I used to love searching the old scrap yards thats salvage yards for you guys because even though I was only fifteen or so my buddies were older and they would wrench on thier cars and lift the cool parts off of the wreckers to use on thier own rides.

Bigger engines better brakes or cool wheels were always sought after. Any oddball factory ' GT ' option like rev counters or neat steering wheels were trophyies worth spending afternoons hunting.

I remember find a ' yard ' that had a Jensen Interceptor with a 383 chrysler mill we all tried to think of a car that we could use this awsome motor in.

The thing is I guess we all knew that the parts that we scrounged were cheap most of the time, good value, a bargain, our every day rides were much better for the addition.

Whats happened is nowadays people dont go hunting quite the same way they surf the net read a mag or watch tv heroes have been created by clever TV producers. Prices have gone up and the bargains are fewer.

But ill tell you one thing my friend on a saturday while I dont go hunting quite as much anymore I ll fire up my little 40 coupe and listen to the responsive crackle of my smallblock, zizzzz the Pete Jackson gear drive, feel the Holley suck air the smile cracks across my face and every person looks on and says with a nod and glance "neat car" Just like I did when I was a kid .............the difference is now Im in the driving and not just looking on.

Let me tell you boy things just got a whole lot better. Hot rods forever....

mrpp

 

WOW Hack , that sucks. Don't you hate when the reality of your age outruns the delusions of your youth. In God We Trust Inc.

This is a brilliant illustration of the lies people tell themselves in HotRodding. Yah! Don't we all want to live the dream and hold on till we can pay the price for it ?Trust funds ahOY!!!!!!!!!
HAHA . jus kiddin . too much sarcasm for me lately . I have to put my-self on probation! My inner voice has left me and moved to Florida .Tell Draglinks to be on the look - out! Hehe , and fucko incorporated . yah Zamo called. . . . . .. . .. . he wants his alley back . swaZZie

 

Uh . . . . . snow gets the best of me. errrr , uh , I love you guys.

 

That's a lot of words just to say you appreciate how much Chip has done for the industry.

 

Nothing stays the same........

Even John Milner complained about the strip drying up and all the dumb beach music on the radio.... ........1962

Used to be you could go out and race 5 or 6 nights a week....when is the last time you were out at Midnight....drag racing some guy for 2 to 5 hundred dollars on a lonely deserted back road ?

New cars were 3 grand......

There was NO GG or NSRA.....all we had here in the South was Gatlinburg Rod Run ( I was there........1969 )

Sort of like the Garth Brooks song " the dance........" ........you had to go thru it to be where we are now......and I have enjoyed the ride.....
Looking forward to some more......the sideshows and freaks do not worry me.....never really cared about the in crowd or what others thought was cool.....

.

 

You are living OR you are dying. Stop trying to be a poet and get out and do SOMETHING!!!!!!!! I am tired of your negativity Mr Fat Hack.

 

Blah, blah, blah....

I collect old sewing machine parts... I hope Boyd don't make 'em popular or the price will go up........

WHO GIVES A CRAP!!!!! Motive or not....tacky, or not....at least people are doin' stuff with old cars!!!!! Build a Fucking CAR!!!! Long live the EVIL internal combustion engine, the check writers, trailer queens, home do'ers and junkyard scrongers....

No one looks under cars anymore, Rod Runs are DEAD, Blah, blah, blah....I miss Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in poor claymation...but somewhere there's a bitchin' current rendition...... I applaude anything original. Life moves forward.... Be thankful you can participate!

 

Fat Hack... I salute you for putting into words what I've been feeling. I got out of rodding in the late 70s because I did'nt like the "showcar" mentality that seemed to be becoming prevalent. I rekindled my interest a year ago when I realised there were guys who were building cars without a mortgage for chrome. One thing that has dismayed me about the current state of the nation is the commercialism. The puke inducing TV shows, certain magazine's policy of squeezing as many ads as humanly possible into every issue, etc, etc. I know, it's my choice whether I watch the shows or not, whether I buy those mags or not, and I exercise that choice. It is however, very pervasive, and chips away at the edges of my world even though I do take that choice. There is some satisfaction to be gained though, when the crowd at a large event here prefers to look at a nice traditional roadster built on a budget at the expense of a certain million dollar 34 coupe.
There is nothing anyone can do about it, it is the way of things, but it's reassuring to know that others feel the same way.

 

FUR BISCUIT TO THE RESCUE!!!

 

Mr. Hack You are a man of many profound thoughts. Keep em' coming

 

You are one helluva writer!

 

Is this a Rant? It sounds like a Rant.....Gonna hafta talk to Ryan about a Rant section here.....

 

Isn't it a tad bit early this winter to have cabin fever? I think the cold and snow has given you to much time to think, instead of crusing or working in your ride. Sounds like you need to go into the garage and grind something, any thing!But don't worry, spring is just around the corner Until then Im sure you can watch American Rat Rod or Underhaul.As for me,I'll be passing the time watching Pimp My Roach and smokin a fat rock

 

You all right Hack? You had me worried that you were possesed...started to sound like Germ there for a minute...

 

I liked that. It had an alcoholic air of despair to it. On the desk sits a large glass ashtray overflowing with butts.

Unlike Hemingway you aren't ready to punctuate using a 12 guage. What you say is true. You are like a ghost in the old house dragging a chain across the floor at night.

 

ditto...

 

This sums it all up for me...thanks for the new signature

 

Hey, I enjoyed reading that.

To know Greg is to understand him more clearly.

So builders carry on building.

Sellers carry in Selling parts.

Collectors carry on collecting parts.

Lurkers carry on lurking.

Scenesters carry on "Making the Scene" ( I like that one alot)

And good, maybe even great writers carry on writing.

No one will ever agree with everything and thats what makes us all induviduals.

One of your better writings Hack-O-Reallyo

 

Maybe things are getting worse, but don't worry it will all change soon enough. Why are hot rods, muscle cars, and customs getting so expensive? The same reason a new golf course is built every hour, there is a HUGE generation of retired people and it's getting bigger everyday. Most are lucky enough to have amassed a small fortuine and have a nice retirement plan. Or they just don't give a fuck and get deeper into debt (My parents ). The "isn't a hot rod more fun than an IRA portfolio" crowd is who I'm getting at. More power to em, they lived with these cars growing up. Most saying someday I'll have a (fill in the blank). Well my friends someday is today for those folks. And because of the society we live in demand equals rising prices.
I look forward to MY someday, because this Large generation of retired folks gave birth to one of the smallest generations (X), so SOMEDAY there will be a shitload of hot rods and muscle cars in a lot of garages that go to kids that don't want them (read the current tuner crowd). That day My generation of hot rodders will have the pick of the litter .