Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time) Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Frank's law of progressive destruction When something won't come apart, destroy the cheapest part first. If it still won't come apart, go to the next most expensive part. And so on.This allows you to totally destroy every part, and then throw it away with a clear conscience.
Yes, all true. But why then if a goat is a ram, and a donkey an ***, why is a ram in the *** a GOOSE?
Law of the workshop.....as soon as i get out there i need to come back in for a dump, every time!! Kev.
This is a picture of a cat with a guitar, it has nothing to do with this thread either but hey it is a cat with a guitar.
The Story Rule: If it gave you a great story to tell for years later, it ****ed while it was happening. (from my pal, BenD; and yes, there is a story attached......)
Man, that one is the truth. Been there, done that. Law: If there are two choices, the wife will like the expensive one. Law: After you think you got away with something, every cop you see you will think knows what you did. Law: About the time you have the damage repaired, you remember you have done that before. I'll think of more. Gene
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting it right, there is a 95% probability that you will get it wrong.
That is "The Law of Packrattery defered: Things that are not important will become essential as soon as they are thrown away." Mike's law of reruns: the probablity of a TV program being a rerun of a program you have seen is inversy proportional to the number of times you have seen it and how much you liked it." Application: If you get a chance to watch a program you've seen only once and really liked it that second time WILL BE a rerun of the one you saw before!
Supplement to the first Law of Mechanical Repair: When your hands get covered with grease your crotch will need to be scratched. Happy New Year to all .
I am laughing so hard I am crying. I was thinking the same thing as you when I saw your post. Happy New Year chuck
I think I just split something laughing. Brandy's law of ah ****S: When something on one side of the car breaks and costs me a paycheck....the other side will go before the next paycheck. When you have a fun filled weekend planned with your car, the boss will call and demand you come in. Just as you are about to finish that last tid bit and get your car back together, you'll realize SHOOT! I'm out of ______ and THEN realize that the auto parts store is closed.
also...68.7% of all statistics are made up. Shop law: you only have 3 of the 5 fasteners you need to finish the job in your stash of nuts and bolts.
There's always someone who's car is faster, or shinier, or lower, or cooler, or... Get over it and enjoy what you've got- you just might like it!
1: The first fasteners will come off too easy. The final fastener will: A) be a phillips head screw that strips out; B) be a nut or bolt that rounds off; C) Will break. 2: If your hands are greasy, your nostril will itch, the result being evidence that you picked your nose. Evidence that you will not see for hours--after talking to your neighbor, your buddy that stopped over, and your wife.
The Jalopy Journal
