Projects How not to build a hotrod - My '33 Plymouth

So, I haven't posted a build thread on the HAMB in nearly a decade. I kinda miss having actual conversations about a project, and it's cold outside and I'm looking for motivation. So here I am. Hi.

I'm not kidding about this being a tutorial on what not to do. This car is a saga of bad decisions. I've been messing with this stupid car for about 5 years now, and it's still got another year or so of work left to do, I'm sure. I'll start from the beginning and make several posts showing my "progress."

Step 1: Break up with your girlfriend.

Yes. That's right. This will make you bummed out. Then you'll talk to a buddy that has a Plymouth coupe body. You always wanted a coupe. There's a hole in your heart, and you need to cram something in there, regardless of condition and wisdom. You should shove the world's rustiest and gunshot Plymouth in there. Isn't that better? Bonus points if it's an old dirt tracker that was torched in weird places and it's been rolled.

IMG_1996 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:20 PM

IMG_1993 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:20 PM

 

Step 2: Cut your new project into little pieces.
Brace nothing. That will only slow you down. Make sure you only really use the remnants of the quarter panels once you're done cutting.

IMG_2014 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:20 PM

Step 3: Make new subrails.
Don't worry, you'll cut these out later and throw most of it away. I tacked together the tattered remains of the subframe to get some rough measurements. It's important to just fake it till you make it. It's never going to be stock again anyway, you can't screw it up too bad.

IMG_2027 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:20 PM

IMG_2028 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

 

No picturesshowing

 

This thread is really promising so far.
I think I can relate.
Continue, please.

 

Step 4: Buy '32 frame rails. Cut them immediately.
Text your ex-girlfriend to help you with the math. She'll make a little drawing showing the angle needed. Spend some time drinking and watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos.

IMG_2075 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

IMG_2080 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

IMG_2081 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

Step 5: Place the body onto the subrails.
You'll noticed I cut the framerails before I figured out the body. That's intentional. You must make sure you ruin the most expensive thing you've bought for the project before you proceed to mock anything up.
I think I cut about a foot off the bottom before I found decent metal to weld to. The cowl is from a truck body I got in the original deal.

IMG_2053 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

IMG_2045 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:27 PM

 

No pics

 

Apparently this is also a tutorial on how not to post a thread. I'm using the embed feature for the first time for pics. I didn't have the album set for public view, I'm guess that's my problem since I can see it. Does it work now?

 

Works great for me. You know, this could be a very important educational thread, seriously.

 

It's working for me now. Brilliant thread! I only see 1 mistake so far. That was texting the ex-girlfriend for anything other than a booty-call....providing it hadn't been tampered with.

 

I got pics, you got interest, don't stop now.

 

I must need better glasses, I can’t see the pics


Sent from my iPad using H.A.M.B.

 

( !!! )

Edit to insert lots of LOL's, I love this thread.

 

Step 6: Measure everything about 87 times. Remember that it was rolled. Measure 96 more times.
Also, make sure you have no surfaces that can be easily measured from. You'll have to devise new methods of measuring, and also invent new curse words. Bonus points if the curse word has 4 syllables. Seriously though, I used some 1x1 steel and some cheap turnbuckles from the hardware store to get it into shape. The turnbuckles make it easy to tweak it as you move everything else.

IMG_2086 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:48 PM

Step 7: That cowl you've spent all that time cleaning up and welding to the subrails? Cut it back off.
Find a '34 four-door sedan body. The cowl and doors will fit with a bit of work. The sedan body is a couple inches taller, but you're gonna chop it up anyway.

IMG_2097 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:48 PM

 

Step 8: Chop the doors first.
Just drink a little bit and cut up those doors. Just cut till it looks cool. Later, when people ask you how much you chopped it, give them a blank stare and shrug. I have no idea how much it's chopped. Pretty sure I made a wedge chop too. Not like there was a roof to base anything off of. Make a template of the window opening and you can make the other door match easily enough.

IMG_2106 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:48 PM

IMG_2102 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:48 PM

Step 9: Stop working on the chop to make wheelwell patches. Throw them away later.
The wheelwells got torched out when it was a racecar back in the day. Thanks to whoever did that.

IMG_2057 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 5:48 PM

 

This is a great thread, well written, very funny.

 

I'm in for this one. Got a little old time HAMB flavor.

 

Step 10: Chop the back half till it kinda matches.
The coupe body's top is much shorter than a sedan from the factory. Add that fact with the doors that I chopped up, and you have some guessing to do about how much chop you're going to get. Fake it till you make it. Looks like maybe 2 inches. Whatever. It looks good, I guess.

IMG_2138 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:10 PM

IMG_2143 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:10 PM

IMG_2156 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:10 PM

IMG_2147 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:10 PM

Step 11: Cut up the rear framerails.
Why did I just chop the top and then jump over to the framerails before finishing it? No idea. Just going in chronological order according to the pictures. I guess I was just in the mood to do it. In retrospect, I could have made that kickup about 2" less. I was planning on going with bigger rear wheels at the time.

IMG_2206 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:20 PM

IMG_2207 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:20 PM

IMG_2213 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:20 PM

 

Rule # 1: Engage cranium before operating the mitts
Tech hint: a Pontiac 421 will cure most ills.

 

keep it going johnny !

 

Step 12: Try to fill in the gaping holes left in the roof. Cut most of it back out a couple years later.

IMG_2234 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:45 PM

IMG_2241 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:45 PM

IMG_2252 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:45 PM

IMG_2216 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:35 PM

Step 13: Reshape the rear window openings.
You're smarter than all those Plymouth designers that made a beautiful coupe in the first place. You got this. Cut the foor-door donor into 12 pieces and weld it all together. Hit things with hammers.

IMG_2224 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:35 PM

IMG_2227 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:35 PM

IMG_2230 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:35 PM

 

I can relate ,keep going and keep track of yer fingers .

 

Step 14: Buy a house. Pull up carpet that smells like cats and old people.
Buying a house is dumb.

Step 15: Do chassis things.
This thread is getting bloated already. Look at a post by Brian Bass if you want to see proper chassis work. My stuff is OK at best. I can do more posts on the frame later if people are actually interested. I'm tired of uploading pictures.

IMAG0076 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:55 PM

IMAG0105 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:55 PM

IMAG0106 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:55 PM

IMAG0110 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:55 PM

IMAG0115 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 6:55 PM

 

Awesome build! Thanks for the post.looking forward to see more.

 

Love it and I can relate.
Best thread of the year.

 

This is awesome! Neat project, great pix... and a superb writing!

 

Step 16: Build a '59 Rambler real quick.
Sure, you're making good progress now that the house doesn't smell like old people, but you want to drive something. I mean, how long can a quick engine swap take?

IMG_20140119_115149 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

Step 17: Build a whole rear suspension and air ride for that stupid Rambler. And replace most of the floor.
Did you know that a Rambler Classic has both a torque tube rearend and its a unibody? Surprised me too. Only took me a year to get it all done...

20150414_195533 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

 

We're only 6 days into the year so far. Pretty sure the bar is pretty low at this point. Haha.

 

Step 18: Make engine mounts for SBC. Remove SBC for different brand engine later. Put mounts on a shelf.
It may shock some to hear it, but I can be indecisive at times.

IMG_20131221_170413 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

Step 19: Cut the front of your car off. Hit more things with hammers.
The distributor wasn't clearing. Might as well cut the car apart. I didn't like how the cowl sloped down anyway. I think I took 3 " out of it?

IMAG0170 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

IMG_20140104_202051 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

IMAG0173 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

 

Step 20: When in doubt, throw '32 Ford stuff at it.
The bottom of a Plymouth is flat. I like the curved rocker of the '32 Ford. So, I used '32 3W rockers, 5W quarter patch panels, and 3W cowl panels. I had to make the front part of the cowl. Obviously, I'm cutting the front part back off at some point, since that's what I do. I didn't get the curve at the front quite right.

IMAG0181 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:11 PM

IMAG0295 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:31 PM

IMAG0316 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:31 PM

IMAG0314 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:31 PM

 

Step 21: Buy $400 '34 Ford wheelwells. Ruin them.
I ended up cutting them into little pieces. I ran the body line through the bead roller to make the bead bigger to match the '32 Ford body line, and used the T-dolly to round the edges out a bit. Also had to eliminate the whole crow's foot part because it didn't fit.

IMAG0360 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM

IMAG0353 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM

IMAG0369 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM

IMAG0374 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM

IMAG0370 by Johnny Sparkle posted Jan 6, 2018 at 7:37 PM