I was contacted by a TV show developer. Want's to do a show like *** but with cars. I get to be the mean handsome drunk boss. Aussie Steve(hasn't signed yet) gets to be the foriegn fab guy that swears all the time.(big stretch) CB,**** is the PR guy with the heart of gold,but a bad meth habbit. Need some more characters.. We're going to build theme cars. The first one is the "pirate" roadster. Hook for a shifter,cover over one headlight.Big ***** lady scuplture hanging from the grill.Old rope for door pulls.Fake barnicles on the rear axle.Car alarm that says AAiigh,back away matey! Need more theme ideas....and drawings! I pitched the idea of the "**** rod" got Jenna Jamison interested. Thought maybe a T-bucket aka *** bucket (where did I get that idea?) Really big headlights,***** for a shifter...but they shut me down real quick on that idea. Might build a car for a movie star.like Kurt Russell..or Albert Finney. Hey I gotta do what I gotta do,the kids want to eat every other day!
CB is working with high end german cars these days , Im sure your ***le shot could have him do some burnouts in someones twin turbo 911. not really traditional but its still hoodlum-ish
can I be the lackey that doesnt know **** about **** and just ****s it all up. it wouldnt be to much of a stretch for me and my lack of acting ability.
Can I be the sarcastic smart *** grey haired fab guy? How a bout a tribute car to "Floyd Cotterpin"? We can use cotter pins everywhere. A big one for the shifter, chain a bunch of em together for a throttle cable? How bout a "got milk" theme? Put some huge dagmars on a Divco and a real ***y lookin pin-up girl painted on the side. Holy ****...this thread could bring out the worst (or best, depending on your point of view) in all of us real quick!
I drew a couple of piratey rods... Okay, that was a little more "dune buggy" than rod, but this one... Don't forget to letter "Davey Jones Locker" on the rear pumpkin.
Ichoptop,I'll fax over the forms for you to sign. Notice in the fine print,you need a gimick in your attire.(your choice) But I retain all the marketing rights. Got milk,?!! Sounds good,Blown 392 hemi in the middel of the Divco! I'm not shy,I'll pitch any idea...
Nope... and the last time I went with my buddy to do stunts for some HBO production, we ended up having to bail out of a burning bus! *******s damaged all the film from that day of shooting too, but at least I got paid. Dude, if you want an idea for something to build: I want to see a street-legal, hot rod-style ROLLER COASTER train. Can you imagine doing eighty, p***ing cars in the diamond lane with seven of your buddies, screaming and holding their hands up in the air? I'll bet you could even get some sponsorship on that one from Six Flags or Great America. Even better, run it down pikes peak!
Can I be the guy that gets a glimpse of on air time while doing the actual welding on a car while the person with more personality than me takes credit for doing all the work even while said person is black and me being white. (Not a racial comment at all, it's just what I seen on the last episode of Pimp My Ride I was bored enough to watch).
this thread is disturbing...... Still less disturbing then 1/2 the **** on the box. P.S. if Steve can't make it I will play the role oft he swearing Foriegn guy, dunno about the Fab side of it but I sure can swear...... will this get me a green card ??
All the national marketing firms spy on me. Horrmel Chili just called,they want in. I left them on hold cuz i just drew a blank..
Direct methane injection fed right from the bottom of the driver's seat? Naw... a hot rod cement mixer, augmented with propane burners so you can simmer/stir GALLONS of chili on the way to the rod run/event.
Me, Me, Me, pic ME. Well, maybe not, I'm just an ordinary average guy, nobody pays for what they already know. Build a '39 Ford 9n tractor. The 19x3 wide fives up front, the hood and grill, an open seating area (no doors), of course with tractor seats, work the rear fenders in too, and it will have to have a banjo rear, maybe from a large truck to gain some proportion. Use a flathead of course. Grey body and red engine. .... Ok, I'll shut up now.
i'm not sure if everyone in this thread is talking in a joking/sarcastic manner or if it's just too late for me....
JDP,it's the real deal. late? it's 9:00pm here. The producer said I should grow side burns,cuz the ladies like 'em. Is that true?
Eric, Set the crack pipe down and call 911. You need help! I wanna be the guy with a wooden peg leg. I'll get out the sawzall and get right back to ya on this, Shouldn't take long. Do I need pain killers for this endeavor? Hickory or maple?
ummmm good luck with that. personally, i like the blue collar builders who build stuff out of there garage to make a living. also there work is just as good as or better than the "pro's" who have their own tv show. a builder should do it for the love of the craft, not the love of the attention. they shouldn't wanna do it for the sake of television cameras or what they think people wanna see. but thats just me and i could be going crazy. and i still have no idea if your being serious.
Curbspeed,I only wish it was true,that you had a fake leg. Every show you could do something funny with it. catch it on fire,get a cut off wheel stuck in it,slam it in the car door. Hey! what the hell was that?...I'll be back in a second.
Build a dog-catcher wagon with a plushed-out canine detainment area, and I'm sure we could get my photogenic lil' pooch to go for a ride.
I say go for it. I hope you get filthy rich and have to beat the chicks off of you with a bat. Then you'll just sell me all of your parts to just get rid of the ****. Do it.
Arrrrr! Pirate car says I. We be getting Johnny Dipp as our lead fabricator and, shiver me timbers, the car be built in a three hour movie. And ***** wenches holding wrenches! How 'bout a "porta pottie" on wheels? Or a 'mud bog drag racing Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!!' kinda' body; like one of the off-the-wall ones that look like a dinosaur skull instead of some recognizable car? Yeah, that's it... the dino car! Or, a working 'Fred Flintstone' car with about 3 M/T's lined up across the back, and a little hidden electric motor to drive it. Yabba Dabba ****! Or a late sixties MoPar with the factory mod top option and a big silhouette of a bear on the trunk lid painted in rainbow colors. Oh, and it's gotta' be that obnoxious pink color they had right about the '70 model year. Make it the 'Pride Plymouth'. You could take the ***** from the "****" car and install it right in the center of the drivers seat - but you won't need Jenna Jameson! Holy ****, where's Tingler; he'd have something funny to say... -bill out
This has the makings of a "funny HAMB thread"......I'll go to bed and check back tomorrow on the progress..... Hey, how about a Maxi-thin wagon..... we could resurrect that controversial hot rod that was perfect for Lil Mike....
The Jalopy Journal
