Technical WORST MECHANIC EVER............

this problem was somewhat common in cold climates in the late 70s early eighties in the early stages it was difficult to diag

 

That reminded me of an event that happened while I as a new line mechanic! A new older mechanic, claiming to be the best mechanic ever, drew a Chrysler car for a job. We heard the impact wrench going gangbusters! He broke off all five lug bolts on the rear before going to the front ,then the shop foreman shut him down! Had lots of fun in that shop! Lol










Bones

 

I think the logical answer is to pull the heads and fix them right, even if this is only temporary. Not really a big job.

 

I bought a small block Ford engine that was assembled by a drug addict, now deceased, It was a 289 with new 302 heads. The engine had been to a machine shop for the clean up and re- bore, the crank was .010/.010 and the rods had been resized. all that was top notch. The guy I bought it from said he couldn't get it started and wanted to get rid of it. Looking at the outside of it I noticed that it had a 351 W pan on it for the rear sump pan in a bronco, that looked fishy to me as to seal the huge gap around the rear main gasket surface he had used what looked like a whole tube of bathroom calk. After seeing that I figured a full tear down was in order. I' ll go through what I found, There was a Head bolt wedged behind the cam sprocket, the freshly re- ground crank ( .010/.010) had been installed with used standard bearings, to extend the oil pick up he cut it and installed a piece of rubber heater hose and just left the pick up screen to flop around in the pan . Thankfully due to not being able to start it there was no damage, I installed new rings and bearings, put it together with a new cam , lifters, timing set and the correct oil pan. Good running engine now. Oh I forgot to add, the cooling system on the rig that it was in was filled with RV antifreeze.

 

All these stories brought back a memory….. one of our Firefighter friends was going through @ tough divorce, so a Captain hired him to rebuild a 289 Ford….. well this was a Chevy man. The rebuild went so.so! But in the end he couldn’t get it started! So…. The Captain called me… a dyed in the wool Ford guy to help….. well the Chevy guy wired the 289 like a 350 Chevy! I rewired the spark plug wire correctly. The engine fired right off….. and hammered like Hell! I reved up the engine and threw a rod right out of the pan! I told the Captain it threw a rod! He was pissed, and I said “ Well, you don’t expect it to last for ever, do you? “ Apparently the Chevy guy forgot to tighten the rod bolts!

I still have what is left of that engine , in my pile of parts in the barn! Lol










Bones

 

Bones, Rod bolts...
Had a co-worker tighten a regular customer's Toyota 22R rod bolts to 65 ft.lbs.
Problem was, the spec was 44 ft. lbs./65 Nm. The rods/bolts were not happy.
He wasn't the worst, just misread the spec.

 

My extremely bull-headed stepdad should have never been allowed to own a wrench. His expertise on head bolts- as tight as you could get them, plus a 1/4 turn with a pipe on the breaker bar- meh...
So one day he decides the old F750 needs kingpins. Now I had grown up doing them with my uncles and "the boys", and my gramps had the proper reamers, but I knew SD didn't. So I tell him maybe we can rent a reamer from the parts store machine shop, which specialized in trucks. You don't need no GD reamer, just use a brake cylinder hone- THAT'S how it's done. I'm no, that won't work very well- knowing this is going downhill fast. You just put the bushings in and I'll show you how to fit them!!! Okie-Dokie. So he whittles away for a while with the hone, get the top bushing loose enough to start the pin, and gets the 3 lb hammer, gets it in about a half inch, then get the sledge and drives it in, takes about an hour- but bullhead is as bullhead does... Other side the same way. I can't watch anymore, and go home. Come back in the morning, all buttoned up with the wheels on, hmmm... He says take the 10-wheeler and get a load of rock. So I get in, and I can't budge the steering wheel. I report this, and of course he goes off, gets in and same result- it ain't movin'. After stomping around and hollerin' for a while about defective parts, he says fix it- and leaves. Man, I tried, but could not get them out, ended up pulling the whole axle and taking it to the machine shop so they could press them out. Of course there was no convincing the machinist that my whippersnapper ass didn't do it, got the f'ing kid sneer. Nothing compared to the fit SD pitched when he got back and the axle was gone to the shop. I refused to go pick it up, and when he did, they were quite emphatic about what that dumbass kid did to those kingpins, He came back, dropped the axle and left, was pissed for a week

 

mechanic friend needed work ,give him my Chevy , new wires , tune up , oil change , pick it up and runs bad..informs me that’s the way it ran when I gave it to him...He was doing crack I found out.Wires were on wrong ????? .Sad a waste of a great talent..Died of overdose..

 

For you FORD guys. My friend who had only worked on SBC's decides to rebuild his Ford. Couldn't figure out why the thrust bearing wouldn't fit in the rear main slot so did some trimming to make it fit. By the time I explained how it is with Fords, it was too late.

 

Had to watch that ft.lb./Nm thing all the time with the students. One time a GM kid whipped 35 ft.lb.'s on 13 ft.lb. Chrysler small car caliper bolts. Broke one and stretched the hell out of the threads on the other. Gave me a couple of nice show and tell pieces.

 

SIL's father knows a guy, so they've used this guy for a while.
This mechanic has a shop, hole in the wall, but it exists.
He has a habit of breaking simple plastic brackets and spray painting everything underhood, usually with overspray. Wire harness' stretched around a bracket when it should go through or over it.
Black plastic snorkel on OT vehicle, painted gloss black. Plastic radiator tank, painted.
Engine block and heads, not even work done on engine. Painted.

Now this wouldn't be too bad if he was just cleaning things up as he goes along, but it's not.
Natural AL parts are painted cast iron grey.
Anything that may have been grey/black are spray bombed gloss black.
After spray painting he then proceeds to touch everything with the blackest, greasiest paw prints.

I've heard of spray paint rebuilds, but this is a different level of weirdness.
I'm not sure what the purpose of all the painting is if you are just going to turn around 5 mins later and plant a greasy scuzzy paw print on everything.
I snipped off ~$20 worth of plastic ties to simply reroute the hose/wire loom into the proper spot where there was a bracket(or what was left of one) to properly hold it up.

This mechanic also doesn't believe in under-trays on OT vehicles.
Just rips them off(not even unbolting them) and leaves them hanging.
Even the kids at the local Turbo 6 lube down the street don't do that.

 

I have a worse judge than that story.
Had a flat tire on my 53 Ford. Being poor I had to fix it myself. You remember when people actually patched tubes....don't ya? Anyway, car was next to the curb and parked normally.
A drunk guy came around the corner at a high rate of speed. This was a neighborhood street lined with houses and a gas station on the corner. The drunk may a wide turn and went thru the gas station came across the street at about a 60 degree angle and took some bushes out of my neighbors yard. He over corrected and went back across the street and smashed into my car which was sitting on the bumper jack. Then he tried to drive away but the car stopped at the next corner.
I was in the house checking the tube and heard the crash. Ran out as the car was driving away. Being 16 and dumb, I didn't know what to do. The driver had gotten out of the car before I got there and just walked away. He actually walked past me, but I didn't know he was the driver. He was in uniform.

When the police investigated, they found that the car belonged to a different serviceman who was from Louisville and was visiting someone. He had left his buddy passed out in the car while he went inside to see someone. The "buddy" had come to, and took off (stole) the car. Then he went AWOL.

When he returned, we went to court. Without hearing anything from me or my family...........the judge looked at my Dad (who he didn't know) and said, You look familiar, I think I have seen you before, this was probably your fault.....case dismissed! I stood up and said my car was parked and he was driving a stolen car........how could it be my fault. He told me to sit down and shut up or he would hold me in "contempt".

Well, I had no money or way to fix my car. The whole quarter panel needed replacement and I got a $75 estimate....a fortune to me. I held that judge in a lot of contempt.

Years later I read he had died in a head on collision on River Road. (Hit by a drunk driver)

 

I took a car to a local shop that swore their alignment guy knew how to set up old cars. I told him I wanted as much caster as possible. I got it back and it would go in circles all on it's own. One side has a ton of caster, the other side hardly any, but the guy didn't know enough to think it has to be the same or close to it side to side. I bought a cheap Speedway alignment tool and fixed it myself.

I took my Mopar LCAs to another shop for new bushings and again, the guy was old and swore he knew what he was doing. When I picked them up he'd pressed the lower pins/bolts completely through the bushing. That time I bought my own 20T press and a tool to get the bushing shell out and fixed it myself, again.

I worked on those cars when they were new and spent time at the Hunter facility learning how to work on them. I just didn't have the tools needed to do it myself, but now I do.

 

I was in the office and heard an impact going in the front bay. The mechanic was torquing down the head bolts on a Cummins engine with it. He was one of those that knew it all but couldn’t do it all. He didn’t have enough sense to leave it at that and told the lead mechanic what happened - he proceeded to chew his butt worse than I did...

 

Some days, I am the worst mechanic!!

 

Me too!

 

My brother-in-law had a 60 Pontiac, had it rebuilt. The shop couldn’t get to to start. Clearances to tight they said, talked him into a standard shift conversion. Which they charged him for, so they could push start the car to get it started. They came by for a visit on the way to Cali,and a piece of rope was in the floor. They gave him the rope to tie the floor shifter so it would stay in 3 rd gear! That story still makes me smile after 50 years.

 

That reminded me of my circle track racing days , back in 1979! We had a MoPar competitor that used an impact to torque his heads on his 340! He would blow head gaskets every week! His solution was to buy a Mac impact to get them “ tighter” ! That impact would torque close to 400 ft/lbs! He never learned! Kept blowing head gaskets all season! Lol









Bones

 

Took my OT car to Toyota for an oil change, and they rotated the tires. A couple months later I went to do a brake job and couldn't loosen the lug nuts. Ended up using a 4' cheater pipe on a breaker bar to break them loose. Some monkey with an impact gun wound them on so tight that he galled the threads. Had to replace some studs and lug nuts because of that. Sent some pics to the dealer with a complaint, but never heard back.

 

When we started out we had a bungie cord in the stock car until we could afford a better trans

 

Not sure if these guys were the “ worst mechanics” but the sure had their ways. Back in high school there were these brothers that put a 348 W in a 1935 Ford pickup. I don’t remember exactly how it went in…. but pine 2x4s were involved in the engine mounts! And two drives shafts were cut with a torch and welded together! …. It ran! These guys also welded two 1957 Chevy spindles together to raise the front way up in the air on a 57 Chevy, later! I never rode in either vehicle!










Bones

 

It's a GM Holden factory accepted practice to hang your handbag on the column shifter to stop pre-synchro 3-speeds jumping out of top gear

Cheers,
Harv

 

In the US guys don’t use hand bags.

 

Speak for your self!

 

Ran over a rock in traffic in a Conquest Tsi back when and hit the steering, the oil pan, and air dam. Local Dodge dealer fixed it under insurance. Not many miles later the turbo started screeching and I lost oil pressure. I told them and insurance adjuster I knew what was wrong as I had to do this everytime I dropped the pan on my old SBF when in-frame. They had forgotten to torque the oil pick up tube when replacing the pan. Insurance said I had to hire an engineering firm to disassemble and prove they had forgotten something. Classy!
Dropped the pan and heard the clunk so I was right. Fixed it in the parking lot of my apartment in about 15 min. I have never trusted "certified" mechanics and since then have never paid to have work done again.
If I can't fix it, I'll just give the car away.

 

When I had the parts store one of my shop customers sold out to two shade tree mechanics. At least they thought they were mechanics.
First day in business they got their first wrecker call. One jumped in the wrecker and roared off ready for battle. Unfortunately they had put new tires on the back of the wrecker that morning. He said he got a couple miles down the road and saw a dual wheel pass him. As he puzzled about where the hell the tire came from, he felt a jolt as the rear drake drum hit the road. The guy who "torqued" the lugs came in just as the other guy was finishing getting the wheels on and jumped in to "help". He later claimed that he didn't get them tight because he didn't know that the lugs on this truck were left hand thread. Don't know how he missed it but that was his story and he stuck to it.
One of their first major jobs was a Ford van with a 302 that was seized, couldn't turn it over with a bar on the crank nut. Obviously a new motor was needed so they dropped in a new long block. Went to start it but it wouldn't turn over. They called me about the problem and I went down to their shop. Long story short, as soon as we took out the converter bolts the motor turned over just fine. I asked them if they had replaced the converter bolts with longer one but they had used the originals. When we checked the trans we found it was seized tight. The customer bought a new trans. Don't know how they sold him on that deal, but at least he had both a new engine and trans.
Unsurprisingly these guys figured out after about six months that they were in over their heads and sold to another amateur. Had a lotta parts sales to them in that six months. They were real good parts changers!
A lot of people think being a mechanic is easy. Like Mike Tyson said, "Everybody's got a plan until they get hit in the mouth."

 

How else do you explain it when your wife finds on in your car???

 

Guys in the US wear fanny packs, much to the disdain of blokes in the UK!

 

I work with the same guy .Still torqueing head bolts on Cummins with an impact. or could be his brother He thinks he is the smartest person in the world