Quotations of interest to our....."types".

Can't don't live here. My Dad

A racing buddy always said, "There are two kinds of racers, losers and cheaters".

 

"Don't get caught..and if you do make sure you've covered your back"
William Henry Haywood...My Dad..the best advice he ever gave me

 

When showing your wife your newest find, It's easyer to beg forgiveness than ask permition.
or Power is like Pu##Y,it's better to have it and not need it ,than to need it and not have it.
Russ

 

how about: if you can't dazzle them with briallance
then baffle them with bullshit

 

Couple a quotes:

I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat is cut.

Its as dry as a nuns nasty

Go stick your head up a cows ass and maybe some country boy will fuck some sense into you

This beers so good its like angels pissing on your tongue

I'm so hungry could eat the crutch out of a rag doll

Colder than a mother in laws kiss.

 

I was helping my buddy rebuild the V-12 in his Lincoln. He asked me to take the block behind his shop and pressure wash it with kerosene. Not that I'm Mr. Environment, but I casually asked him if he cared about turning his yard into a swimming pool with the stuff. Jeff smiled as he turned on the pump and handed me the spraygun and said "If it won't kill a duck, it ain't worth a phuck."

 

You can't get there from here.

 

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." – Elbert Hubberd

 

"If you're still in control, you ain't going fast enough" Parnelli Jones

 

I used to hang out with an old blues guitar picker name Bill Neely right before he died.
He was a living institution, played old finger picking country blues, learned his first guitar chords from Jimmy Rogers and actually road the rails with Woody Guthrie.
He had some genius quotes.

One I first heard him say but since have heard allot was:
"He was so scared you couldn't pound a tooth pick up his ass with a 10 pound sledge hammer."

The best was once when he was talking about an ex-son in law:
"He was the sorriest son of a bitch to ever shit ‘tween two heels."

RIP Bill.

 

"too fast to live, too young to die"

"im out like a fat kid in dodgeball"

 

" I'll bury you upside down so you can't dig yer ass back out!"
Johnny Ace ( courtesy of Valdemar Huerta) to mother in law

" I'll toss you like a dirty diaper in a Wal Mart parking lot.."
Johnny Ace to mother in law

" I'll stomp yer dick so far into the dirt, you'll have to write a letter to China to get it back..."
Johnny Ace to mother in law

" Dude, I promise...it's almost finished...gimme some time!"
Johnny Ace to any Hamb member

 

Couple a froggy ones;

Is a frog's ass watertight? My son in law

And If a frog didn't hop it wouldn't bump its ass on the ground Same source.

I dunno what they mean, but I thought they sounded profound.

 

Sitting at a light my friend says "don't get no greener"

I say "nice vette" same friend says "ever see one that wasn't"

"where ever you go, there you are"

said to me by a customer about how a part worked
"that's slicker than cum on a gold tooth!"

 

"The only reason people cuss is because they are unable or unwilling to express themselves more inteligently"

Frank L. Rose, my grandfather, to my grandmother....usually as she was cussing him out in polish.

I repeat this to my nephew quite a bit.....usaully as I'm cussing out a tool or a part that's not cooperating.


Also...."We need to find a better parts supplier....there aren't any parts leftover."

 

dad used to say " Anyone can drive a fast car fast, but it takes a real man to drive a fast car slow. I say drive it like you fukin' stole it.

 

Or Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink

 

" I've forgotten more than you will ever know"
My old friend Harvey (R.I.P.)

" We'll just stop twice at the next one"
My dad after running a yellow/red light

 

"He's so scared and puckered up, he couldn't pass a greased BB."

"Tighter than a frog's ass."

"They don't know if they are on foot or horseback."

"...wandering around out there lost like a goat in a hail storm."

 

"Youth and stupidity are no match for age and treachery."

"If its got tits or tires, you're going to have trouble."

"Either he's stupid or he don't care. Whatever it is, its a whole lotta one and a little bit of the other."

 

when in doubt knock em out!!!! chrome dont get you home!!!!! and.........ya shes a good fuck but you dont walk the pussy into town

 

"Everyone brings joy to this room. Some by entering, others by leaving."
Paul Kluth, high school teacher

 

One of my favorites, passed on to me by my dad:

"Four doors are OK, as long as they're on 2 different cars."



You more-door sedan guys probably won't agree.

 

I just used this on another post,seems to fit this one as well, it seems to stay with me "cool transcends trend"

 

If you can't nail it, screw it.

 

"Dream Like you'll live forever, Live like you'll die tommorrow" - James Dean

 

Who said it!…Roth---Rbrt Williams---Dutch?

"you build a custom yo get the girls, And ya build a hotrod ta get away from them"...........I think it was williams that originally stated it???

 

AHHHH, Nahhhhh....Ha..maybe 2 doors are trendy! (look above) jus remember...Kool transcends trend......

 

One of my favorites...
No one goes there anymore, it's too crowded.. Yogi Berra

Here's an irish toast...
May you be in heaven 10 minutes before the devil knows your dead

It's tough to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed..

She's got a butter face...everything's good but her face.

I wouldn't say she was ugly...but she looks normal in the back of a spoon

You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.

and here's a bunch I stole from the HAMB

Alright you stickers, this is a fuck up!

Make sure you don't let your alligator mouth write a check your
tadpole ass can't cash.

Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself!

At the end of the money, there is still some month left

I dunno if I'm punched, stroked or bored.

Take me drunk, I'm home.

Thank God I can't charge myself by the hour - I work so slow
I couldn't afford me.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

I sometimes open my mouth just to change feet,
you know, like when your toes get all wrinkly from being wet for so long

Fighting on the internet is like the special olympics...... No matter who wins you're still retarded.

...sometimes my temper is shorter than the attention span of the people I have to put up with.

that ductape aint there just for decoration-- now leave it be...

You say Tomato I say Fuck You!

Don't hate me just because I hate you

Starting tomorrow I will treat all morons and jackasses with
kindness and goodwill regardless of where and when I meet them.

"I want to die in my sleep just like Grandad, not screaming in the back like
his passengers"

Sell crazy somewhere else, were all stocked up here!

"Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you down to their level and beat you
with experience."

If you haven't made a fuck up, you haven't made a thing.