Technical Brain farts and other acts of intelligence.

That Flamazine is amazing stuff for burns and it’s definitely a lot more sophisticated than just Polysporin

 

Helping a buddy doing some electrical work on his truck a while back, disconnected the battery first, and then had at it. His job was to remove the inner fender mounted solenoid, when I see a flash and then smell smoke. There was an earth wire going from the negative to the radiator support which was starting to melt. I quickly looked at the battery, and there was a 6" air gap between the battery positive terminal and the cable. Where was this magical electrical energy coming from? I asked him (really quickly because now the smoke was getting thicker) is there another battery in the truck. Nope, no other battery. Not having much time to work this out before we have a nice little fire on our hands, we tried removing or cutting the earth lead, but of course no tools which would cut wire close at hand. My brain is still in overdrive trying to work out this mystical energy source. The winch! The winch battery! He jumps up on the tray, takes the cover off and disconnects the other battery. Smoke display stops, we change our undies and have a laugh. The only casualty was the 6" piece of earth wire.

 

Built the avatar, tootled around Sydney for a few months, and flogged it half a dozen times at the local track. Got ready for it's first highway adventure, 250 miles up the coast for Easter. Made it 50 miles and it died. Plenty of fuel, perhaps no spark. Pull number 1 plug lead, stick an allan key in the end of the lead and hold it close to the cylinder head.

Found out the hard way that a CDI ignition puts out one hell of a boot. Number 3 Daughter, who was operating the key switch for the test, damn near wet herself laughing while I did the Scintilla Shuffle.

Came home on a tilt tray. Neighbours are starting to wonder if I'm running a wrecking yard.

Learned the hard way that there are two types of 12V Christmas lights. One type has a transformer which steps down the 240V mains to 12V. The other type has no transformer, with the twenty 12V bulbs absorbing the full 240V.

Troubleshooting the twenty-bulb type to find a blown bulb. Stupidly had the lights plugged in while swapping bulbs one-by-one (they're 12V globes, what could go wrong?). Arced out the 240. The kids still say they saw my bones, like an old Roadrunner cartoon.



Cheers,
Harv

 

That would be GREAT!!!

 

I found out the other day that I can still run faster than I thought I could when I set some cheet grass on fire with sparks from my chop saw. I hadn't cut or welded out there all summer because of that dry grass and then I got some bright ass idea to fab up a little piece and I needed to cut it off the stick of flat bar to do it.

 

Okay here’s one of my WTF moments….. I was a 3rd year apprentice in the Sheet Metal Union and was welding some 3/8” aluminum plate one day and when I put the TIG up to my ear to see if the gas was on they said and arc about a foot and a half went from the tungsten to my earlobe! I was leaning against my welding bench and was
grounded out; and let me tell you it felt like I got hit in the head with a concrete block. I had the welder set to the outer limits because of the thickness of the plate so you can imagine how bad that hurt

 

Helping a guy get ready for a divorce sale and he's got an old trailer that needs to be moved closer to the garage. His soon to be ex-wife doesn't want the yard torn up and one tire is completely flat on the trailer. I run an air hose out there, give the inside of the flat tire a good shot of ether and light her off. The tire catches on fire which catches the weeds around the trailer on fire which catches the wooden sides of the trailer on fire. Lots of 5-gallon buckets of water later, the fire is out so we hooked his tractor up to the trailer and just dragged it to the garage. I'm pretty sure one of us had that idea in the first place.

 

I'm reading through this but these Threads creep me out...The shop is dangerous...and this hobby or career around auto compounds it...

That must have been a seriously close call on so many levels...propane heavy sits down low and crawls along the ground...liquid in the tank vaporizes at room temp...



...funny I'm thinking of The Wizard of Oz for some reason...

Glad you're okay Van...what a tough way to learn...burns are the worst...but again and thankfully...horseshoes were aplenty that day...

​

 

Damn

The fabricator was welding brackets onto my FED chassis, and had me hold one in place while he tacked it. The TIG arced to the bracket I was holding instead of to the (earthed) chassis. I got a jolt that made me grimace (and inadvertently throw the bracket), but nothing like a TIG arc to the earlobe.

Cheers,
Harv

 

Let’s face it anyone who has ever picked up a torch, welder, worked on a car or played with electricity has done the “Happy Dance” or “The Dance Of Joy”. We just don’t like to admit it.

 

About 10 years ago I bent a stabilizer bar on my Massey Ferguson and decided I could bend the 1/4-inch by 2-inch wide flat bar back to somewhat straight by wedging it between a couple of guard bars on the front of the tractor and pressing down on one end. The bar was springier than anticipated, flipped back toward my head, missed my left eye by an inch but caught my left ear. It stunned me more than hurt at first, but I was bleeding profusely and by the time I got in the house to get some paper towels and staunch the blood I was making a red mess. The bar ripped into the cartalidge, disfiguring the ear. It never healed right and continues to scab over and hurt if anything - earmuff, scarf, laying on a pillow - touches that left ear. I'm just glad I didn't lose an eye.

 

That’s nothing compared to the jolt that you can get from an active ignition coil while cranking the engine and accidentally touching the end of the coil wire that you had pulled off the distributor cap so the engine wouldn’t fire.

 

Some of you guys are just one step away from being contenders for a 'Darwin Award'.....

 

When I was a young buck, I was pretty good at trouble shooting point ignition troubles.
One day my buddy, that is a car guy, but not mechanically inclined, called me. He had some buddies that had been trying to start a 440 in a beater car for 3 days, and hadn't got the job done yet. He asked me if I would stop over and give them a hand. As reluctant as I was, I did go help them, but it took a lot longer then it should have.
When I got to the address my buddy gave me, those guys were really happy to see me. So the 1st thing you do is run down the list of things they have done, in their attempt to fit it. Their list was long and filled with large amounts of gas and either being used. Starting from scratch, the 1st question I asked them was if it had spark. They had no idea how to even check for that. I told them to pull the coil wire out of the cap, hold the open end about a 1/4" away from a good ground and crank the motor while they watch for spark from the coil wire. One guy pulls the coil wire and tells the other guy to crank it, the process took about 10 seconds after the words left my mouth.
They had good spark, the problem was, the guy was using the valve cover as the ground. Apparently there was enough gas and either vapor in the valve cover that the spark from the coil ignited it! It blew both valve covers off the motor as the fireball seemed to engulf the entire garage. One big bang and fireball, and it was all over with. Some how no one got hurt, and the valve covers were the only things that got damaged. It did get everyone's attention.
I explained what had happened and why, but that was the point where I decided we needed to start from scratch, and put new stuff on the motor. No one there was arguing with me.

We started with changing the oil and filter and replacing the valve covers with new gaskets. Then we (actually they) did, while I supervised, a complete tune up. They brought #1 up on compression as I walked them through the entire process. I showed them how to reset everything to the correct set up.
When we got done, the car fired right up and purred like a kitten. Everyone was happy, and I gained 3 new followers. I don't know if any of those guy ever did anything with cars again, but its not often you can say you were involved with blowing the valve covers off a motor.

 

Always struck me that an actual "brain-fart" itself might cause discomfort.

Gurgle gurgle wheeze... pop.

 

I was at a gas station a friend worked at. He just got done tuning up a 66 coronet and doing a radiator flush. The fuel line was a little drippy and he shut the car off to retighten it. When he shut it off it started on fire but nothing big. Before anyone could stop him the pump jockey came over and picked up the pan of antifreeze and dumped it on the fire. Making a little fire huge! Burned the car to the ground. I thought the little old lady who owned the car was going to kill him. He got fired and the garage got a bunch of new fire extinguishers.
Yes, antifreeze even mixed with water is flammable.

 

Good that we are here to talk about it.
Holy Smokes I know,,, it feels good, to survive a real blast.
I have crisped more of my flesh than I'd wanna talk of. ( with various sources )
Though one was comical to me anyhow.
At the time I worked for THE auto club, I found many early, cold, morning calls were caused by a working choke as well as a zealous gas pedal pumper, wetting the plugs.
My quick solution, to dry things up, was having the owner crank, with the throttle shut. while I hold open the choke, and introduce a lit match to the wet carb. The pistons suck hard and pull the flame through the intake. The plugs can now light off, and its all smiles now.
SOOO This nice young girl, Ford V8, is on an apt hse pk'g lot. The lot is up, maybe 12 feet from a roadway. And there's 6-8 inches of snow. I get her to crank. employ my secret weapon and KaBloom! Jerking back I find the top edge of the embankment by falling heels over head and sliding on down. While she is freaking out, I'm laughing my ass off, happy to get her going, next try.

 

One thing I have found out after many years behind the gas axe, is how similar cooked pork and cooked human flesh smells like.

 

A friend of mine has 3 toes on his right hand, it's always f'n weird when I shake his hand. He knows now not to let the table saw running while moving stuff around...
A mechanic where I worked was fixing the engine for one of his buddy paraglider after hour. After the repair he cranked the engine that he tied down to his workbench to make sure everything was ok. Nope the throttle was stuck wide open, the engine, the bench, the tools, everything crossed the shop until it hit the wall. Fortunately no car was in the way.
Another mechanic who wasn't used to older car in another shop was looking for an intake leak on a flat twin Panhard with some brake cleaner. I was walking toward him to tell him to be carreful when a big fiery mushroom rose from under the hood, he was missing an eyebrow, both eyelashes, had very short hair in the front and had a large bump on the back of his head after that. He learned not to spray the dynamo with brake cleaner that day when it's running.

 

I had put together a small workbench inside the apartment for working on black powder guns as I couldn't work anywhere else. Anyways while using the angle grinder a stray spark found it's way somehow into a powder flask I forgot about under the bench. I thought something electrical had blown due to the smoke and bang only to find the flask blown apart.

Same apartment I was casting bullets from lead I had scrounged from a big chunk by melting it off into a bucket of water so I could have shot to recast instead of a massive big ingot. Everything had gone perfect for days until I got a little lazy adding more shot into the pot and didn't get ALL the moisture out. Big pow, molten lead on me, the walls, the books, and I believe some still on the ceiling when I moved out.

 

These days, it's not the "brain" farts that cause me the most concern..............

 

Wow, I feel a lot better knowing I’m not the only one who is accident prone.

 

Damn son, you'll have to change your username to "Bandaged Willy".

 

Wow - true "Hot" Rodders

 

Reminds me when I was young. I had a two stroke Suzuki 125? Cc if memory serves. I took the carburetor apart for a cleaning, did something wrong when I put it together I guess.
I had it lined up in the back of the driveway for a short test run. , was taking a bit longer to kick over, as soon as it started to sputter to life, i put it in gear. I was WOT heading the the double gates.
Yeah, tweaked the heck out of those gates. Up until the day my dad passed, he’d mention it now and again!

 

Of all the funny shit I've seen in my life, one comes to mind.
A coworker of mine was running a fairly large lathe. He had a long pass going so he had a moment to chat.
He's standing there, wearing an untucked flannel shirt. The bottom of his shirt got wrapped around the turning leadscrew.
He's got both hands on top of the tailstock, trying to keep from getting pulled in.
I was just about to grab the lever to shut it down when his shirt ripped off leaving him wearing nothing but the collar and right sleeve.

 

OK, just one more, more for a warning for the new guys.

The 1st time I welded floor boards into a car was a real learning experience.
I had the old floor cut out, and I had all the edges cleaned to shiny steel. The car was someone's beater, and we were trying to buy it another year of use. I was doing a lap weld with with my Mig, with about a 1/2" overlap. I had the new sheet metal all fit in and had it tack welded into place, so I was welding all the edges. I had about 3/4 of it done, saving the outer edge by the door for last. I was somewhere along the door edge when I ran into some very thin original metal. Even though it was shiny, and I had the voltage turned down about as far as I could go, I was still blowing holes through the old metal. In about 20 minutes I had only gotten a few inches welded, so I decided I needed to take a break. As I was sitting there, I began to wonder what might be under the area I was welding. I had to jack the car up to be able to get my head under far enough to see what was under there.

Something didn't look quite right, I had to get a light to see better.

Running under the area I was welding was the steel fuel line. That old steel gas line was directly under the area I was welding, and then it was only about an inch below the floor! With the light, I could see 3 chunks of my Mig welding wire stuck to the fuel line! A couple of those Mig wires were stuck to the gas line pretty well, I had to cut them off with side cutters.

Apparently, when the wire blew through the old floor, it was hot enough to stick to the steel gas line, but I must have moved the torch end enough to cut the wire off before it burned through the steel line. Someone was watching over me that day.

Lessons learned:
1) Know what is under the area you are welding.
2) Move dangerous or flammable things out of the way from under the area you are working in.
3) Always a piece of extra steel between anything you don't want your wire to touch, and what you want your wire to touch as a barrier. I have an 1/8" thick piece of metal I put between the stuff I'm welding and anything less then an inch away from the weld area, when it fits. Otherwise I have also bent up a piece of easy to bend 22 gauge for tight places.
4) The fire extinguisher is always really close by, and a spray bottle with water in it for non liquid extinguishing.

 

If any of you accident-prone guys happen to be in NJ or NY, I know a GREAT workers' comp attorney.

Just sayin...

 

Too bad when I do stupid stuff I’m at home! And I got nothing to sue me for. Hell, the only person I can get mad at is me, and that just makes me madder!

 

That's what I call too close........ And a good day to buy a lottery ticket...........