Alright... THIS means WAR...!!!

So... you guys know what a quiet, peace-loving individual I am, right...?

Well, when I come under personal attack I don't fool around. I get out the big guns...

I'm fightin' mad and someone's gonna DIE...

This morning I g***ed up my chainsaw and put out a few hours in the woods. When I finished, I had a few hours of welding work in the shop. There I was, happily working along... I go to use my torch...
Won't light... That's funny...
Smells like... acetylene...!
Son-of-a-*****...


Friggin' VARMINTS...!!!

All the cutsie Chipmunks and Squirrels that I let run around the shop... just 'cuz they're cute... have signed their own death warrant.

So, I'm out of business 'til Monday, when I can drive 50 miles round trip to get new hoses... right...?
Okay... so I'll go cut more wood...

I got back to where I set my chainsaw... not even an hour earlier, and...



Little ******* chewed up the spout on my gas can...
I was right there... about 50 feet away...

The 16ga. is loaded and leaning next to the door.
You can run, but you can't hide... you little acorn eatin' so-n-so....



Anyone else have homeland security issues with these destructive little terrorists...?

I'm done...
**** it... I'm killin' everything with 4 legs that stands less than a foot high.


JOE

 

holy ****.. I just fell off my chair. I'm sorry.. but that ****'s funny. I'm sorry they tore up your stuff, that part ****s, but the photos and story had me goin for a while.

Peace
Chris

btw.. poison some peanut****er, lil fuggers can't get enough.

 

these varmints should be easy to spot, just look for a miniature vw bus. it's obvious they're hippies, huffing acetelyne and gas!

 

that squirrel looks NUTS...
funny **** man!!!

 

poison them, watch em die slow

 

muhahahhaha

 

No kiddin'...

I saw this going on nextdoor and just knew it was gonna ****-up the neighborhood...





JOE

 

Maybe if you'd feed them they wouldn't be co inclined to chew up your ****

 

LMAO. And I thought the mushroom people we terrible

 

When I married my wife, she came with a cat along with her *****......

The cat is well trained in guerilla warfare when it comes to fury four legged critters.

 

http://www.johnzima.com/Resources/cvarmint2.wav

Varmit ****tang.......

 

I had to rewire my boat twice because of critters.
I got some of those Primer Only .22's, I go out spread peanut ****er on the Maple tree. Then I go inside sit in the bathroom a pick the little *******s off. Sometimes I'm too lazy for the peanut ****er thing so I use a slingshot to launch peanuts at the tree.
Dead Varmits is good.

 

I would say make sure they are 10 to 12 feet away when you shoot them...little acetelene, little gasoline, little gunpowder--he could be a suicide bomber!

itty bitty chunks of chipmunk all over you and everything near you.

 

'tis the season.
They're stocking up on groceries.
Put something out for them to eat and they'll leave your good stuff alone.

 

What's your address?

I'd like to ship you my wife's dog before you cool off.

JH

 

o ****!!!glad i didnt have anything in my mouth when i read that!!

 

I'm still laughing my *** off at this whole thread.

 

After you shoot 'em try frying up their hind legs and have'em with scrambled egg's for breakfast. That's some good eat's, when I was a little kid we lived out in virginia and we had this for breakfast as often as we could, way better than bacon'n'eggs!!

 

What we use to do is take a 5 gallon plastic bucket and fill it about a quarter full of water and dish soap,place it where the clan is into your ****. cover the top of the water with sunflower seeds,put a board for them to climb up to the top of the bucket. they can't resist the sun flower seeds and will jump in and freak out that there is water under the seeds and try to get out but the soap will make it slippery and then they will drown from try to hard to get out. nice and quiet so the wife won't know. crule but effective

 

I've got some steel-jaw traps at my parents place if you want to borrow them......kinda' messy but it might make you feel better when they're cut in half......

Moe

 

Man i feel your pain or atleast i will when i stop laughing and can catch my damn breath. All i can say is if your a furry f*cker lover then read another post and stay away form Junk Yard Dog 32 's place. I never been to Wiscossin but i would inlist if ya need the help... BUT again only after i catch my breath

 

Call a truce and ask 'em if they know Russell.

 

I would have questioned the validity of the pictures....but then I saw something in the picture, so I now believe it to be a true picture taken in upper Wisconsin. The guy in the background is wearing socks with his sandals....if we could see the rest of the picture he probable wearing robe and some sort of dead animal on his head and has a Leinenkugels beer in his hand ...... Louver Dude

 

Thats comin from Road RAT!!!!!

He's one of them!!!!! Dont do it!!!!!!!

 

Squirrl LEGS, Squirrl LEGS, I been lookin for GD Squirrl EGGS, Ain't nobody everheard of them.

 

Oh no, why that's the blackus whiteus stripped chipmunk. It is an endangered species. Sorry but you are going to have to cease all activity on your property and not disturb a thing from here on out. In fact some protest group of the week will be there any day now. Gary 4T950 Chevy Guy (P.S. chipmunk aint half bad,taste like chicken)

 

OMG! LMAO!Too F*cking Funny! Lisa here thought I was viewing some kind of sick cyber ***! I have to deal with possoms here & fruit rats, they don't seem to like rust all that much & the cars seem to fairing well, besides that I send the cats out to patrol every few hours & every once in a while they bring a little gift to the door. The seem to just like their heads!

 

[SIZE=-1]"I smell varmint ****tang, and the only good varmint ****tang is dead varmint ****tang, I think."[/SIZE]

 

CL***IC post right here!
Sorry for your torment from the tree rats..but man i got a good laugh from this!