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The Night Before 'Cruizer's Christmas, and all through the shop....

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by AHotRod, Dec 15, 2005.

  1. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    'Twas the night before "The Cruizers" Christmas, and all through the shop
    Not a creature was stirring, all work just had stopped
    The tools were all hung on the peg board with care
    In hopes that "The Cruizer" soon would be there
    The cars were all parked safely covered in the garage
    My Shelby, My GTO, and even my Hemi Dodge
    My wife in her robe and I in my Batman P.J.'s
    Had just settled down after X-Mas shopping for days
    When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter!
    It sounded to me just like pressure plate chatter
    On to the driveway I flew like the Flash
    I tripped over the dog and landed in the trash
    When there in the driveway beneath the Moon and the Stars
    Sat a 55 Chevy g***er with chrome ladder bars
    As I walked up closer to get a better view
    I noticed a Blown Big Block and cheater slicks too
    There behind the wheel sat a driver so tuff
    With Tattoos, an earring, and beard oh so ruff
    Dressed in Black leather he looked like a Bruizer
    I knew right away he must have been "The Cruizer"
    "I pulled second, I pulled third, then I heard a big Bang,
    Things started to smoke, things started to clang!"
    "I spotted your big garage with hopes of repair"
    His back seat was full of presents but I tried not to stare
    "If you can fix my 55 and make it shift right
    I will give you these gifts for ruining your night"
    We opened the door and pushed the 55 in
    Before I got underneath, he gave me a wink and a grin
    The headers were hot, the slicks they were sticky
    That blow-proof bell housing would make the job tricky
    I turned on my droplight and gave it a look
    The big 3 inch exhaust was making me cook
    When there to my surprise what did I see?
    The four ****** bolts had wiggled themselves free
    I grabbed my torque wrench and started to turn
    As I tightened the last one I could smell my sleeves burn
    He slid behind the wheel and fired up that mill
    As I directed him out listening to it idle had gave me a chill
    A Blown 454 with two 850's up top
    Chrome reverse rims and a 2 inch suspension drop
    He eased it out to the street and set the line lock
    I knew this would not be quiet, probably wake the whole block
    He revved it to 8 grand and let the clutch pop
    As the rubber and smoke poured from the tires I spotted a cop!
    He released the line lock and let that 55 loose
    This baby was ALL MOTOR with no signs of Juice!
    He fishtailed sideways, grabbed Third with plenty of guts
    With Police in chase he screamed out


    "MAKE SURE YOU USE LOCK***E SO YOU DON'T LOOSE YOUR NUTS!"
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2011
    lothiandon1940 and Deuces like this.
  2. REJ
    Joined: Mar 4, 2004
    Posts: 1,612

    REJ
    Member
    from FLA

    Thanks, Glen.
     
  3. BLACKIE HARVELLE
    Joined: Nov 12, 2005
    Posts: 145

    BLACKIE HARVELLE
    Member

  4. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

  5. Flathead Youngin'
    Joined: Jan 10, 2005
    Posts: 3,666

    Flathead Youngin'
    Member

    that's pretty good....thanks!
     
  6. HolyHandGrenade
    Joined: Jun 17, 2005
    Posts: 645

    HolyHandGrenade
    Member

    Thats great! I put that one in my favorites. I wouldn't be surprised if you see this popping up other places.
     
  7. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    Up for 2006 :)
     
    lothiandon1940 likes this.
  8. FWilliams
    Joined: Apr 24, 2001
    Posts: 1,986

    FWilliams
    Member

    Nice, have a beer, its on me;)




    Fred
     
  9. hahaha sweet...

    -Dean
     
  10. dillonivik
    Joined: Oct 23, 2006
    Posts: 39

    dillonivik
    Member

    thats perty cool, thanks.
     
  11. Bob K
    Joined: Mar 3, 2001
    Posts: 5,772

    Bob K
    Member Emeritus
    from Antigo Wi.

    Good one Glenn.

    [​IMG]


    and


    A HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    B[​IMG]B
     
  12. classiccruzer
    Joined: Aug 4, 2006
    Posts: 44

    classiccruzer
    Member

    Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,

    Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight,
    I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
    To beat this **** Mustang, even with it's big power,
    As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
    The Mustang erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
    Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
    These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
    Racing ahead I'm the Star of the Action,
    But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction,
    Grabbing second, I hear the RPM sing,
    My mirror is blocked by my Shopping Kart Wing,
    I now hear the roar, of that big monster gaining,
    All I can do is keep that four-banger straining,
    In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
    And my stickers go flying, a thing of the past,
    Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
    Just try to act cool, like you can relate,
    Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
    The driver backs off just to give me a holler,
    "You can't win them all," he says in fling,
    "You may not win any, in that silly thing",
    I scowled and revved and let out a sigh,
    And did my trademark high-speed fly-by.

    The end
     
  13. mikhett
    Joined: Jan 22, 2005
    Posts: 1,582

    mikhett
    Member
    from jackson nj

    gREAT POST,cRUZ& merry xmas.Mike
     
  14. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member


    I'll do that Freddy !
     
  15. cheddar
    Joined: Aug 10, 2006
    Posts: 363

    cheddar
    Member
    from missouri

    :( just read it to my little girl:(
     
  16. Frank
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 2,325

    Frank
    Member

    I can't help but think of ole Kr*** & Bernie in cl***ic Trosley pen illustrating that story.
     
  17. skumbag
    Joined: Feb 16, 2005
    Posts: 688

    skumbag
    Member

    thats too cool... merry christmas everyone :D

    matt
     
  18. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    Merry Christmas 2007 :)
     
  19. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    Merry Christmas 2008 !
     
  20. HotRodChassis
    Joined: Jan 23, 2005
    Posts: 2,282

    HotRodChassis
    Alliance Vendor

    LOL, that's awesome Glen. Merry Christmas!!
     
  21. Gator
    Joined: Dec 29, 2005
    Posts: 4,016

    Gator
    Member
    from Statham Ga

    Same to you and all my 'PoorBoy' brothers.
     
  22. Dr.Kerry
    Joined: Aug 22, 2005
    Posts: 448

    Dr.Kerry
    Member

    Now that is awesome, both variations!!!!!!!
     
  23. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    Merry Christmas 2010 ! :)
     
  24. GaryB
    Joined: Dec 19, 2008
    Posts: 3,529

    GaryB
    Member
    from Reno,nv

    that's a keeper,Merry Christmas and a happy 011
     
  25. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    It's great to be in America!
     
  26. Deuces
    Joined: Nov 3, 2009
    Posts: 26,848

    Deuces

    Amen to that! :)
     
    lothiandon1940 likes this.
  27. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    Merry Christmas 2011 :)
     
  28. ryno
    Joined: Oct 6, 2005
    Posts: 3,469

    ryno
    Member

    Merry Christmas,what about another bed time story,one that may be enjoyed in 5 years lik the others?
     
  29. AHotRod
    Joined: Jul 27, 2001
    Posts: 12,362

    AHotRod
    Member

    I'll work on it Ryno :)
     

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