Ok, sorry for this but I wanted to share one of my finer moments in idioticy with my friends here on the HAMB... here are the players: Me "HC" My lovely assistant and wife "Jen" Goes a little like this.... Jen and I decided to go see Kill Bill II tonight... As we were leaving the neighborhood, we spotted a large mound of dirt in the front yard of a house a couple of blocks away... no big deal right just some landscaping supplies for tomorrow or something... BUT, and this is a BIG but... The mound was about 3 feet wide, 6 feet long and formed a perfect 2 foot high pile.. IT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE SOMEONE HAD JUST BEEN FUCKING BURIED THERE!!!!! Soooo, being the idiot that I am, I looked at Jen and said.."tonight after the movie, we are gonna get toe up' and I am gonna make a cross out of wood, and we are going to go on a night time "operation"... I made a cross out of scrap wood, threw it under my arm, jumped on my Schwinn and headed over to the house under the cover of darkness. I gave Jen the Digital and set it on "night time operation" mode, handed her the keys to the car and said "follow me soilder"... I pedaled my ass over to the house, snuck up on the lawn, and shoved the cross at the head of the mound! I WAS LAUGHING SOOOO HARD, THAT THE DOG IN THE HOUSE STARTED BARKING!!! Then as I made my get-away, I could see the headlights from Jen's car rounding the corner a block back... She snapped the pic's and I could see the flash from the camera light up the humid night sky... then she proceeded to tear ass outta there.... Mission accopmlished! Yeah, I am an idiot, but I thank god every day for giving me a fellow idiot to share my life with... The pic's are funny as all hell!!! Any of you guy's still do fucked up shit with the one you love??? That's what I've been up to... how bout' you?? Again, sorry for the super o/t, but I am feeling a little punk rock right now... HC
O, thats too funny. Only from you would i expect something like this. lol I think we should call you "Hardcore HankCash" from now on. Nick
thats awesome. reminds me of the time we had an ongoing battle between us and some local fat chicks for best pranks. my friend jason laid down in front of their doorstep and i traced out his "dead" body with chalk. then i drew a hand gun next the car door with the chalk and we caution taped thewhole house off. should have seen the nieghbors faces when they walked out the next mornig to go to work.
Thats funny as hell...kinda makes up for watching Pt 2of Monster Garage's rock em, Sock em Scion episode... I know...I'm sorry...
Only way to top that is if a really hot chick dug herself outta there right as you did it and started busting kung fu on your ass!
Just what if it turned out to be like a horror film, when ya say no don't go back, ya dumb ass. Next thing ya know yer' gettin' chased by a fuckin' beast or man w/chainsaw or a Chupacabra(no dis-respect to the goat suckers of D-town) and ya break your ankle, can't run, so your crawlin' as hard and fast as ya can. Just a THOUGHT........
Broke into a mates place one night with the help of his little bro and my then future wife and I and wraped up everything in newspaper, I mean everything tables, chairs, flower pots, flowers in the pot, wall hangings even the Tiny teddies in the fridge. It took us about 5 hours but it was well worth it. That was payback for him breaking into my place moving the fitchen/dinning room into my bedroom and visa versa.
way to go, i love to pull crazy shit all the time aswell real goodone, got to copy that one if i see a pile of dirt
Way to go Geno. I bet you had a hard time stopping Maria from laughing the whole time you were wrapping the dude's house. I can just see it now - you tellin her to pipe down else you'd get caught.
I just figured it out... you put a gravemarker over somebody's defunct septic tank... They're gonna really be scratching their heads in the morning!
Mark we got pretty noisy, he was at a Pearl Jam concert. I think we went through his CD collection until it all got wraped up
Those people are gonna FREAK when they wake up and see that a cross sprouted from Grandma Jones' grave!! It'll be all over the supermarket tabloids next week!!!!
We drove by again this morning on the way into work and Jen snapped a daytime pic.... I will have to post it this evening. Things to consider: 1) the look on all of the neighbors faces this morning as they see what appears to be a recent burial in the front of their neighbors yard..... 2) there are alot of families from Korea and the Middle East that live in our neighborhood (close to a main Fujitsu office)... Jen and I have noticed some wery "odd" things going on from time to time in the neighborhood due to the very different cultures... Examples are: a) Tribal parties at the house across the street (very odd chanting and dancing) b) The folks that built on the lot 2 houses down from us had 5 fireplaces built into the house... IN TEXAS! Very odd.. c) it is not uncommon to see fully covered men and women walking around the neighborhood in sandals, towels and robes... soo.. What if, WHAT IF, there was really a burrial in the front yard yesterday and we just think that it is ODD, but to the family that lives there (possibly from another part of the world) this is a very normal thing... When they walk out this morning... they are gonna SHIT eggrolls, WMD.. or whatever! HC
You realize, of course, that someone DID dump a body there and now it has a grave marker with your fingerprints on it...
[ QUOTE ] You realize, of course, that someone DID dump a body there and now it has a grave marker with your fingerprints on it... [/ QUOTE ] lmgdao
[ QUOTE ] You realize, of course, that someone DID dump a body there and now it has a grave marker with your fingerprints on it... [/ QUOTE ] I was thinking about that while I was making the cross.... It is old, very weathered wood, so I imagine that it would be difficult to pull prints... Another thing... as we were driving to the movie theater and talking about what we were gonna do when we got home... I was scanning the side of the roads for one of those cross's that people put up when there is a fatal accident of a loved one... I was gonna Fuck with Jen and pull over and make her think that I was gonna steal the cross to use for our prank... She woulda SHIT and then she would KILLED me! Can you imagine If I did that? Ticket straight to HELL!!! HC
that's funny shit, maybe that might help lower the property taxes in the hood!! maybe you should start doing some drive-bys in the shoebox. i see it now jen under the wheel and you hangin out the window with your tommy gun! bonnie and clyde style!
[ QUOTE ] Pretty funny, but at least you didn't set the cross on fire!!! [/ QUOTE ] LOL.....................
A couple of years ago, me and a couple of friends were sitting around bored out of our minds. We decided to set out on a mission to landscape a buddies yard. Being that everyone was throwing their x-mas trees to the curb, it was too easy. We got about a dozen trees, shoved them in the snow on the edge of his driveway. Imagine his surprise after a drunken night at the bar. I love doing goofy shit like that, my compliments to you and the misses. -Joe
One house I lived in used to have a big front porch and whenever it was hot, my buddies and I hung out on that porch. There was a light pole by the sidewalk. I took a couple of nails and wrapped a chain around the pole at about eye level and padlocked it there. Had a ball watching people walking by. Some got it right off, some would stop and come back to look at it again! Some never did figure it out, walking away shaking their heads.
HC...that shit was was cool. I laughed my ass off last night when I read it! HC: 1 Neighborhood: 0 Two of my good friends lived in a big warehouse that his dad owned. It was used for cabinet making for the houses he built. They had an office and an apartment inside. It was the perfect location...Right in the middle of town, but far enough from population that we could throw huge parties with bands, and be loud with our cars. We hung out there everyday, fucking around with BMX bikes & skateboards on the ramps we made from stolen wood from the cabinet shop. One night the guy who's dad owned the joint went out with some girl on their 2nd date. He said he'd be bringing her back after they went out, so for us to leave. We all worked at a local oil change/carwash (I was the manager) and someone dumped a shitload of gay porn magazines & videos in one of the 55-gal trash cans by the vacuum bays. We got the best selection of porns and randomly placed them throughout the apartment. Video's in & around the VCR, mags hanging out of drawers & under the pillows. And we made a collage of cutouts of gay porn & covered the front door with it. We all stashed our cars in the field and hid out in one of the old deer blinds laying in the yard to watch his reaction. Man, that shit was unforgettable. Good times.
A guy I work with turned 40 and my wife and I along with one of our children walked up to his house when he wasn't home and taped off his house with police line do not cross tape. The nieghbors didn't see the sign in his front yard about his birthday being a crime abd promptly called this guy's mom who nearly had a heart attack. She called all over the city to find him (including hospitals) and couldn't. I think he was at work. When he came home, the saw all the tape and just laughed. When his mom finally called his house crying in hysterics, he laughed even harder. It took a while for him to finally figure out who did it. He still laughs about that. He still warns me not to ever let his mom see me... r
The Jalopy Journal
