OT Funny things we did when we where little

Once when my parents left my brother and I alone (bad move), we got out Mom's largest mixing bowl and proceeded to pour everything, including various cleaning agents from under the sink, into it. Something reacted, and it began to foam furiously, so we took it over to our neighbor's house (they weren't home) and poured the contents of the bowl on their front step. It etched into the concrete and left a stain that only faded after years of weather.

 

One of my friend's little brother knew his dad had just had an old farm truck painted. It was black and looked pretty good. He got the idea it would look better painted with yellow with left over house paint he painted it a streaky, runny, brushmarked yellow the trim, lights and most of the windows too. His dad got home and leaned against it whie it was still wet and ruined a new suit. He beat him with a fly swatter. Then his dad just gave up and went out cleaned the windows off and painted the truck red wit a brush the next week and left it that way. He told my dad about it and said the suit was worth more than the truck and ruining it was what really made him mad. The same kid also put eggs and acorns in their tractor gas tank and a buch of other stuff.

 

1975, at my sister's 10th birthday (I was 2 1/2); right in the middle of her party, and right in the middle of the yard, I pulled my pants down and took a dump in front of her and all her friends. Apparently it embarassed my sister pretty badly .

1977, pet box turtle named 'Tommy'; I was standing on my swingset holding Tommy up to show the neighbors on the other side of our fence. Pointing right at his nose saying 'this is Tommy', when Tommy decided to bite the shit out of my finger! I fell off the swingset, the fucking turtle wouldn't let go.....bad scene.

Funny side story about Tommy the turtle - he was actually a cool turtle as far as turtles go. You could stand on the back porch with a piece of lunch meat and call him and he would come running. Anyway, my Dad used to have to find Tommy and Lady (Tommy's girlfriend) every time he mowed the grass. One time he looked and looked and couldn't find Tommy, so he went ahead and mowed the grass anyway (figuring Tommy was down in a hole or something).....whoops, Tommy got splattered into a million pieces. My dad picked up all the shell peices he could find and washed the blood and guts into the grass with the hose. Still, my sister 12 at the time, found a shell chunk but my Dad insisted he knew nothing. My Dad finally fessed up to us about 5 years ago . I thought it was fucking hilarious, but my sister was still pissed.

 

I stuck one of my red line Hot Wheel, wheels up my nose and it got stuck! My mom said Blow Goddamitt Blow! It came out. Dont tell anyone ok.

 

as a five year old i didnt have much knowledge of what alcohol was, so i sneaked into the back of my parents Chevy Astro-Van and proceeded to drink like a alcoholic.. I thought it was kool-aid and got completely trashed... I slept really good that night. Not to mention the countless amount of crayons i left on the floorboard to turn into little puddles of colored carpet...

My dad use to have a 1969 Mustang Notch-back (i believe from what i researched, there was only a handfull of them made) i tore around a corner with my tike and smashed the piss out of the driver-side quarter panel... he later traded it off for a Astro.

 

Also, when I was 13 I convinced my 12 year old sister that the years on all her quarters in her piggy bank were the expiration date. She gave me 100$ in quarters after checking EVERY single one and finding that ther were all "expired". Once again, Mom pissed. Dad laughing.

 

In the summertime all the neighborhood kids had Nerf footballs with the outside skin wore off. We'd dip would dip them in a bucket of water, and hid between the houses and when we saw the headlights of a car, we'd throw the footballs high up (to try and hit the cars from above) and run like hell to the next block. When a waterlogged sponge shaped like a football splats off you hood, you tend to lock up your brakes and get really upset... pissed even.

One night, somebody's cousin came to visit and didn't understand the rules, instead of throwing up and running, he ran to within 5 feet of the curb, and threw a bullet right at the passenger side glass of a 65 Chevy 4 dr... except the window was rolled down, and the guys wife was in the car...

The guy was pissed! And his wife wasn't all that happy either.

So they guy grabs the cousin by the back of the shirt and goes up to the door of MY house and my dad answers.

The guy says "your kid just threw a wet football at my wife and hit her in the head!"

My dad says "That isn't my kid, I've never seen him before. Can't help ya buddy."

The guy lets go of cousin and storms back to the car and takes off...

Later on when my brother and I came in, my dad asks me about the guy coming to the door, and tells us the story. We of course have no knowlegde of footballs, and go up to our room and cracking up laughing.

The cousin's name was Jeff Garner... for about 4 years, every mistake we made was called "pulling a Garner"

 

Another one or two...

Well I can't say I was exactly a bully in my younger years, but, there was a family of kids about 5 of them. Didn't really like any of them. I was around 12 or 13, this one little kid was around 5, maybe six, when I convinced him to piss on a spark plug of a running lawn mower.



Then there was the time when I was in high school. You ever see that fake rubber vomit? Well this was right after lunch, in the first study hall period. Now this is a small town school, don't cha know. Anyway, I made groaning sounds like I don't feel too good. Getting the stage set. Up at the front of the room is the pencil sharpner, and a waste basket. I go up like I'm going to sharpen my pencil. I lean against the wall, and Oh....Oh..... (*&&^(*&^. Then I throw that rubber vomit next to the waste basket. The teacher come up, looks at me, looks at the vomit on the floor, and says I'll go and get the janitor. While he's gone, I scoop up the vomit, and hide it. he comes back, looks all around the waste basket, and it's gone. The whole room is cracking up. He then realizes what I did. Next stop...the principals office.



Then there was time time in the FFA class. That's Future Famers for you fellers that don't know. We all had to make projects. One of the projects was a hog shed. That was a period just before lunch break. "Hey Teach how's my project look"" He went inside to look around, and we locked him in the hog shed so we go could sneak out to lunch early.


And then there was another class. That was shop class, wood working and metal making. Well....The seniors knew what paint and varnish cans to use and which ones not to...Well...I took a piss in the varnish can, and closed it up.. Just don't be an under classman from me.

You got to realize this was all back in the early and mid 50's when kids could do stuff like that. Go out on Halloween and tip over out houses. Or "Borrow" an Out house, and then with the help of some other guys, put it up on the roof of the school.

We turned some grease piglets loose in the school one time.



This was a time in America when you could do harmless pranks like that, and get away with it. I supposed we'd be terrorists now. Well maybe I was a Terror, or a HellRaiser back then.




Now some of you fellers don't like the cops. I used to be one in a larger town.

Now if you got caught and have to go to jail. DON'T Piss me off and act like a fool. Those that were caught on a Friday, had to stay in the city jail until court on Monday morning. Well I was one of the jailers then. One guy was really acting a fool, yelling and banging on his cell. This went on Friday night, and Saturday. Come Sunday, I'll fix him...I got some Ex-Lax stuff at the drug store. When it came feeding time...You got it...I stired in the Ex-lax in his food. And took away the toilet paper.

On could go on and on about the pranks we cop'ers used to pull on each other, but you'd get the wrong idea about us.


Well, we did used to mace the inside of a cruiser in the middle of winter, so the next guy would have to ride with the windows down. or put Limburger cheese on the manifold...does the same thing....

Did I tell you the story about........nah, I better not...It'll give some of the younger ones here ideas....



HellRaiser

 

MERCMAN55:
Funny side story about Tommy the turtle - he was actually a cool turtle as far as turtles go. You could stand on the back porch with a piece of lunch meat and call him and he would come running.

"Running"?! What did that take, all afternoon?!

DREDDYBEAR:
When I was 13 I convinced my 12 year old sister that the years on all her quarters in her piggy bank were the expiration date. She gave me 100$ in quarters after checking EVERY single one and finding that they were all "expired".

That's so funny! 12 years old, and she fell for it? How'd your sister turn out?

 

I was a rotten kid about 5 or so my Mom takes me to the store and is looking at clothes. I sneak out of her sight and go back to the station wagon. This was a 60's wagon with a fold down seat in the back that I could hide in. Well Im hiding in the back and hear my Mom get in the car crying. She starts driving and little A-hole me sneaks up behind her and scares the crap out of her. I still pay for that!

 

When I was about 3 I used to take apart my toys and unscrew every last screw and leave them in pieces and forget how to put them back together.
and when my mom would take me to the department stores in the bra section, I would grab every one as we walked by.

I think i am still the same in a way.

 

At Eastern,when I was nine or ten, a friend from the neighbourhood and me were taking horse pooh and put in a box. Then we wrapped it up in real nice present paper and put it beside the road. Many people stopped their cars, grabbed the present and 200 metres away they threw it out of their car windows. We could use the same present a couple of times.......

 

it sure wasn't a Red Rider.

 

All right, all this has reminded me of another lapse in judgement. Remember the neighbors that got the special foaming mixture poured on their front step? My brother and I went fishing and caught several carp, which we brought home in a pail of water. We then proceeded to stick firecrackers in their mouths and throw them on the same neighbor's garage roof. Nothing like fish guts baking in the summer sun for next door good will!

 

i think the most entertaining one was when I was fourteen in Philomath, Oregon and a paper carrier. Me and a buddy of mine made a "rope" by tying two or three boxes of rubber bands together and strung them across the road. I bet it made fifteen ro twenty loops. We had run it around the concrete posts at either side of the bridge so it was anchored securely. We laid in wait for about ten or twenty minutes and some dude in a Honda come rolling down the street at about normal speed 20-30 mph. He hit his brakes just as he hit the "rope" once the forward motion was stopped, he let off the brakes and opened the door. Wrong answer, the bands pulled the car backwards and the car rolled over his left foot leaving him trapped. We burned rubber out of there and never mentioned it to anybody.

The only other stupid stuff we did was jumping bicycles off of single story roofs.

 

i smashed grandpa's windshield out of his truck with a big wooden mallet when my dad was borrowing it. I was about 4. My dad didn't think it was funny.

 

I think it was my fourth birthday Dad got me a cool little tonka pickup with removable stakebed sides. While the folks and grandfolks were talking I snuck off because I wanted to build something. I found some roofing nails and proceeded to nail each stake side to a 2x4 pounding them pretty good. Nothing like the spanking I got for it though!

 

We used to throw rocks at trains all day long. Eventually we graduated to putting fire-extinguishers on the tracks but the premise was the same.

 

sounds like you an i grew up the same way. i used to walk to a body shop where wrecked cars from accidents were held. people died in them and it was not pretty. this place was several blocks from home and i was about 7 at the time. the guys running the yard let me go back there to look at stuff.

i used to bring stuff home all the time too. a couple friends and I also did the grocery kart thing.... we got the basket off it and made the front wheels stay straight with some wire or something and had races down the street on the bottom shelf lol
being we were such young kids, the enginuity was not good and sometimes the wheels broke loose and we crashed

i had a friend that liked to play crash up derby on our bikes. we would go at each other fast and hard trying to come close without smashing into each other. we wanted to put "dents" and scrapes on each others bikes .we did this for awhile and it was a blast! the last time we did it, we crashed hard and i put my rear axle into his skull......

 

I don't remember any of this happening, but I'm told it did...

When I was really young, my dad would take me to the junk yard with him. When we had to go to the bathroom we found a junker and did pissed on it. I guess I didn't completely get the concept because I got caught peeing on the neighbors car one day.

Another time, I apparently scratched my name into the fender of my aunts car with a hot wheels, then claimed I hadn't done it.

 

A few decades ago my brother and I (he 3 and me 5) found a gallon can of barf yellow house paint behind a neighbors garage. Being GOOD little boys. we decided we should paint something. BOY did we ever paint; the wheels and tires of the neighbors new Mercury, the front end of his motorcycle, the old hand pump behind our house, the entry door of our garage (up about 4 ft), our tricycle and coaster wagon, and of course OURSELVES.
Got our fannies warmed up for that one.

 

I used to eat every rubber tire that was on any kind of matchbox or hotwheels car

And I know the story that my bro once kicked my dad's truck out of gear which allowed it to roll thru someones garage door

 

When my daughter was in first grade my wife got a call about a note Jen turned in to the teacher, that was to be taken home and signed by a parent. When my wife asked " what note? ". The teacher replied that she didnt think it was her signature since it was printed in crayon.

 

I feel sorry for this little guy.....

 

Thats what running with a fork will do for ya. Jeez, that'll give ya the creeps.

I used to do household chores to earn money...5 bux a week. That money in turn went back into buying house hold appliances that I took apart.

I was still doing chores as a senior in high school.

 

I've seen that before,but who the fuck would take a pic of their kid with fuckin' fork in his nose ..then go to the ER?.

In note a lot us had the "fire thing' when we were younger. My brother and I would bike to the local garbage tip when we around 9 years old. A great thing was getting a plastic bottle on a stick then poke a fire with it until it caught alight,We would then turn it around and it would make a strange squeeking sound as it burnt and burning globs of plastic dropped off.. In those days people would bring their old cars to the tip and leave them there. We would set fire to them. This stopped when one day we pulled up on our bikes and saw a 46' Ford coupe sitting at the edge of the big pit, Great ! that will burn like buggery! my brother said. So we got a couple of plastic bottles ,got them burning on sticks and set the seat on fire,it was just starting to really get going when the owner came running around a pile of shit screaming that his car was on fire!...

 

I think my dad should have not told us what he got up to as a kid. As kids do we attempted to emulate some of his achievements.

Big elastic bands and U nails. Fire them slingshot style over the neighbours roof. If you didn't hear a clink you knew you made it over the roof. I didn't hear a clink... was pretty excited until I noticed the silver band across my thumb and the two nail points out the other side.

My brother and I would walk down the street by the shops holding our arms as if we were carrying a big sheet of glass. Everyone would walk around us so as not to walk into the galss.

Best of all was going to the butcher and getting a few eyes before they tossed them in the trash. We'd wrap them in a piece of cling film and freeze them. Taking them with us next tiem we rode a train. You'd pull out the frozen (but defrosting) eyeball hidden in a hankerchief and proceed to rub your eye. Lowering your hand while closing one eye. We'd then proceed to 'polish' the eye so that other commuters could see. Waiting for the tain to jolt when we'd 'accidentally' drop the eye. In the scramble to get it I would stamp on it mashing it up. Picking it up with the tissue, masaging it back into shape and re-inserting into eye socket. --- A few times we got people to vomit in response.

 

i have never spent more then one nite at a time in jail ever, i have another story, one halloween when i was in my late teens about 10 of us were out throwing eggs and apples around, at one point we were all standing behind a row of shrubs next to one of the main streets in town waiting for a cop car to roll by, along comes these 11/12 years olds, about 20 of them, they line up next to use and have rocks and beer bottles in there hands, just then a cop rolls by and bang, smash, crash everyone lets go with all they have, cop nails the gas, the 4's cut in. screaching tires and thats our cue to run, but this was kind of a routine for our little town and the escape rute was well known by all, across the street and down into the ball field, cops would have to get out and run, like that was ever going to happen.

 

Me and my brother were outside my grandfather's restaurant blowin up a dead mole with some black cat fire crackers. We desided to blow up some cans two. I twisted the wicks of 2 of em together to get a bigger explosion. One went off early and sent the other onto the middle of the 300 string. They all went off right in front of the front door. My parents weren't too happy.