So, this Irishman walks into a bar....

Whats the difference between a tea cup and a peecup?

A tea cup is for drinking tea and a peecup is what a Mexican drives

 

Bubba and Junior (thanks racyredhd) were out drinking and driving one night, and saw a DPS checkpoint up ahead. Knowing they were busted, Junior, (who was driving this time) said to Bubba, "quick, give me your pocket knife, I'm gonna get us out of another DWI!" Bubba gives up his knife, and Junior carefully peels the lables off of 2 Bud Light bottles, and puts one lable on his forehead, then slaps the other on Bubba's. They drive up to the checkpoint, roll down the window, and the cop looks in. Seeing the lables on their heads, he naturally asks, "have you boy been drining tonight?" Junior cheerfully announces "no sir officer, we're on the patch!"

 

Youre a sick fuck you piece of shit!! If this was my site I would kick your stupid ass out just for typing that!! ASSHOLE

 

Penguin is driving through town and develops car trouble so he pulls in to the closes garage and tell the mech on duty about his problem, mech says it might take a while , why don't you go get something to eat while i look at it. So the penguin walks across the street to an ice cream joint, you know they really like ice cream and proceeds to order a large cup of vanilla ice cream. Well you know they ain't got no arms so he proceeds to get it all over him, well a little while later he goes back to the shop and the mech looks at him and says , "it looks like you blew a seal" Penguin inresponses " NO HONEST ITS JUST ICE CREAM!"

 

Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Bob tells Luther, 'Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

'Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii.

I went to Hawaii and my wife got pregnant.

'Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and my wife got pregnant again.

'Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if my wife didn't get pregnant again.'

Luther asks Bob, 'So, what you gonna do this year that's different?'

Bob says, 'This year I'm taking my wife with me.'

 

Quit whining, that was a year ago. And funny!

 

Three nuns die in a car crash and go to saint peter. Peter says confess any sins to me and you will be cleansed and allowed into heaven.
the first nun says "i have watched many porno movies"
Peter "thats not too bad, go wash your eyes in the bowl holy water"
the second nun says "my husband and i engaged in anal sex"
peter "Well that is a little worse but at least you were married. go wash your bottom in the bowl of holy water"
the third nun says "looks like im going to hell"
peter "why would you say that?"
Third nun "because there is no way i am washing my mouth out after mary put her ass in the water!"

 

Richard youre a sick fuck for thinking that is funny too.

 

Since when do nuns get married?!

 

It's a joke, just calm down about it. Geez, for a newbie with 9 posts, you're in for a surprise on this board. I've seen WAYYY more offensive stuff on here than that!

Lighten up.

Nick