Dumb lines in classifieds

I was just wondering about some of the stuff people put in cl***ifieds to get us all worked up to buy their stuff.

Why is a rusty old fender bent to pretzel always "rare"?

How come people always feel the need to let us know the motor that has sat in the corner for 20 years "ran when pulled"?

What are some of your favorites or pet peeves from cl***ifieds?

 

It's in perfect condition except for several small dents in the... When it's a motorcycle its ALWAYS the tank. HTF does that qualify as perfect???

 

"I got it in a trade and know nothing about it"

 

I always enjoy the fake sob story about how it was their grandpa's car and "they can't stand to part with it." Guess what yuppies? If you cared about the car, you'd find a way to keep it. But I guess it's better off in the long run going to somebody that might appreciate it more.

Here's one that I'm prolly the only one that it bothers. When people say it had new tires when we parked it, but it's been sitting in the garage for "X" number of years. Guess what? The tires ain't new anymore. They are just lightly used.

 

Used to be a daily driver...really, weren't they all??

I get this type of stuff every day from people trying to sell me their junk car..

It runs great, but it threw a rod..
The tires are new..its been sitting for 3 years
Its complete, except the radiator and wheels are gone..
The transmission is brand new, but its been sitting in the dirt..
It has a little body damage...it rolled.

Where is the car located??
In my driveway..
OK..where would that be??
In front of my house..
OK...what is the address there?
Let me go outside and look..

Some people shold not breed.

 

chrome is nice but some pits that should polish out.

rust free but some pin holes in lower _______

 

its also gotta have the required corvette 350 or a fuelie 327 corvette motor....or its a 426 hemi.... never mind it it ended up just being a old 318 poly.... brandon

 

yeah, the old feller that wanted "several thousand" this summer for pure friggin junk, " i bought this truck 45 years ago, ran great when i parked it"...you could barely tell the ****in thing was a truck it was so hammered! i told him, hell man, they all ran when they were new, whats your point? he looked confused! so i stabbed him in the throat and buried him in his thousands of dollars worth of rust!.. well, i wanted to anyway!

 

Here are a few more I forgot:

"The car has had X,Y,Z, body mods done to it, but I don't know exactly what that means." I actually read that in an egay description.

My favorite is when the "antique car dealers" try to p*** a car off as something it isn't. Sure it works 99% of the time, but it still irks me. Yeah a month ago that camaro had green interior and was painted up like a 69 Pace Car. Hmm...now you have an "original real" pace car for sale. Hmm...

 

"for sale by owner" as opposed to for sale by best friends of owners third cousins sisters Mom... or how about "No rust ever"

 

Common Mercedes description-- "These engines are good for over 300,000 miles. At 130,000 miles it developed a knock, so we had it replaced with one from a 110,000 mile car so you should have over 200,000 miles left on it."


" car in excellent shape for a 25 year old car. some rust holes, two tears in front seat, one on rear seat, windshield leaks, missing door panel, dr window wont roll up, but for a 25 yr old car it is in great condition..drive it anywhere. needs brakes."

 

I always like the line "zero miles since restoration".Read between the lines...Now you get to work out all the bugs for the next two years.

 

The car is as straight as an arrow except for the destroyed fender.

 

"It's only surface rust"

 

You already covered it but anything with "used to run good..." always irk me. They all did.

 

It's called advertising... stress the good, downplay the bad. If everyone selling junk said "hey, I'm selling junk", they'd never find a buyer.

 

"new" seats... from a 98 pontiac grand am (in a 55 chevy)
went to look at a 45 poncho, guy said it had a chop top, frenched headlights and was lowered.. got there and there was a 4 foot section of the roof MISSING, it wasnt lowered it just looked that way because most of the suspension parts were missing and the ones that werent missing were broken, and his idea of frenched headlights is both headlights are missing..

 

Needs some work to finish. (Engine in trunk, trans still at repair shop have claim ticket.)

 

"It's a roller"

 

for sale: best offer over $10,000!

as if there is a line of people with cash in hand to buy the schmucks overpriced car, all fighting to be the high bidder like it's freakin barret jackson.

 

I get a laugh out of a Model A coupe advertised as a five window coupe. I can't help but think"no ****?" N.N.

 

"Make me an offer"...OK..."WTF I can do better on egay"...OK..."**** I'll burn it for that amount"...OK...?

 

How many e-bay ad say Rat Rod in the description even if it is a 69 Z28 or a totaly tricked out 34 Ford 3window coupe.

 

Medical reason forces sale = I am sick and tired of this car please take it off my hands.
Ran when parked = 45 years ago.
No visible rust = tar paper, bondo chicken wire covering it up.
One family owned = handed down again and again.

Maybe the new term for barn find will be: Rare internet find, or Obscure mis-cl***ified Craigslist find.

 

How about all those "rust free California car" ads that are always in rust belt states? How come those cars are never in California?

 

Some cars ain't worth selling - they should be crushed - just like this thread.