"It's a good looking car" (it's really slow) "She'll run in the 13s" (runs a 14.4) "I've got a stock__________ (insert 5.0 mustang, 19 babba de bomb Camaro, etc...) that'll run in the 10's" (never been to a drag race in my life) "I've gotta work on my reaction times" (I have to rebuild my car) "I creamed him right off the line!" (he readlighted and beat me to the finsh line by four seconds) Anyone got more?
"He Passed me when I went into tire shake at 140 and had to back off" (How come my car will only go 85 even after I put on the Cal Custom chrome dipstick handle?)
"It pulls the wheels off the ground in second gear" (I want to impress the person I'm talking to" "It went SIDEWAYS" (same as #1) "It'll run 12's" (It's really a 15 second car) "It SHOULD have run 12's" (In my own mind) Sam.
"we're sneaking up on it" (we have no idea what we're doing) "i almost got him in the lights" (i couldnt make out his license plate i was so far back) "neither of us knew who won" (he was waving good bye the whole way) "the starting line traction sucks" (i'm too cheap to relpace the bald T/A's on my trans am) "we did a lot of work in the off season" (my new air cleaner looks pretty tough, huh)
"Nailed him with a hole shot!" I was 2 seconds late but he was even slower. "I overpowered the track!" Those skinny assed tires ain't cutting it when you rev to 4500 RPM and dump the clutch on your 150HP wonder. Funny it's always the guy in the 4 door 55 wagon with the 283 that has this problem. The Top Fuel and Funny cars get down it just fine. "I shift it at 8 grand." Guy's never driven a car with a tach. Only way his car will ever reach 8 grand is in replacement parts cost if he gets above 6000rpm. "It's got a Hopped Up 350 in it." Edelbrock air cleaner, platinum plus spark plugs, mobil 1 oil, and a fram filter!
"It's got a Hopped Up 350 in it." Edelbrock air cleaner, platinum plus spark plugs, mobil 1 oil, and a fram filter! hahahaha!!! [/ QUOTE ]
1. Too bad the engine bogged comin' outa the hole, I coulda beat him. (I have no idea how to drive a stick) 2. I had him until he hit the nitrous. (makes me feel better to think he beat me on the bottle) 3. My car is so big it makes a 15.00 feel like an 11.00. (gotta keep up with the rice rockets) 4. I donno how fast it is, but it sure peels out! (I run a stock engine with skinny tires)
[ QUOTE ] It eats 5.0's for breakfast( I beat a 4cyl equipped LX Mustamg) [/ QUOTE ] (I was racing...they weren't)
"I would run my car at the strip but I might tear up something." Means "My car is so poorly built that it will not make a pass without something breaking." When I hear someone say this, I think of FlamedAbone driving to the HAMB Drags from the east coast and racing all day at the strip. Then I see local guys who have never tried their car to see what it will run on the strip. One of my favorite words, whatillshedo.
WZ JUNK. Thanks for the kind words... You just wait till next year. I'm drivin the Henry J and I BEAT a guy who lost by a FENDER to a guy with a 10 second Camero. So, I figure I 'll run AT LEAST a low nine... -Abone.
I was beating him really bad so I let off and let him pass me ( Beat him in 60 ft and let off because i didnt want to be embarassed)
dude, i thought my grandpa was the only guy that used the "couldn't pull a sick whore off a piss pot" line... must be an ohio thing!
"It's pretty damn consistent!" (Slow every time!) "She hooks up real good!" (Slant six in a tank...what would you EXPECT?!) "Drag bikes are INSANE!" (I'd shit my pants if I ever went HALF that fast!) "I think it was vapor lock for a second." (I don't wanna admit you smoked me on the tree!) "The car is just 'track shy'!" (Only looks impressive "beating" stock Yugos in traffic!) "I think I hurt the tranny!" (I really need to practice my shifting!) "We let the smoke out of it!" (Time for ANOTHER junkyard long block and a refill on the bottle!) "I beat a Vette last night!" (I passed some Granny in a diesel Chevette on the freeway!) "It'll run 12s!" (I once beat a guy who raced a guy who said he beat a 13 second Mustang!) "I think burnouts are a waste!" (With a stock Escort wagon and an automatic...why bother?!) "She'll yank the wheels on street tires!" (Everytime I slide a jack under to change the oil!) "I wouldn't waste my time racing YOU!" (I don't wanna lose to a stock Dodge Omni GLH!) "It goes tens on the motor!" (I made ten consecutive 17 second passes without breaking!) "I think it needs a wheelie bar!" (The fake blower doesn't look racey enough!)
"I can't hook up"(stealing used tries to go to the track is a bad idea) "I almost lost it"(being blinded from the 6inch shift light on the dash) "It got a blower"(sitting in the seat next to me) "The extra down force slowed me on top end"(the fucking big wing is to heavy)
My Favorite is an old rally one, but I guess it would almost apply to Drag racing.....generally used on the press, when you don't want to upset sponsors/wife etc... She developed an electrical problem (yup conrod knocked the alternator clean off).
From Luke Duke, the typewriter repairman who daily-drives his 66 Cuda with welded-shut doors, rolled-on blue paint, "01" taped off on the doors, a hacked together pair of homemade headers bolted to the sides of a mismatched pair of Petey and K-Whopper turbos-sportin' 383, mismatched wheels and tires and a hand-pounded Nissan fuel injection setup (and runs at Capitol Dragway in Bowie, MD): "She got turbo lag so bad that I'm gettin' beat by half track before they wind up and I kick the snot outta that Lingenfelter Vette..." (oh wait, that really happened)
"That thang got a Hemi in it?" -used to justify your mullet-maro being dusted off by a new Dodge truck
The Jalopy Journal
