WTF is up with... "Corvette Guy"?

Good one! I'll have to give this a try and I already know who the first victim will be.

 

The sad fact in my area is the local cruises are dominated by late model stock Corvette owners who sit next to their cars with their cellulite ridden over weight wives listening to 50's music. You'd think they built the cars themselves. I'm sure the majority of them couldn't change their own oil. I rarely even go to local cruises anymore. If I want to see Corvettes I can go to the local Chevrolet dealer.

 

we've got one at work here, his car is "the vette"

he fits right in with the initial post to this thread. Total ****.

always bragging about how fast he is. I figure I'll have to roll into work one of these days with project "angry mayberry" and take him to school.

 

Mustang Guy is way worse than Vette Guy IMO. it's always a GT 5.0 or a POS rattling 65. they are so proud of those ****ing things... and i HATE them.

btw, thanks TfeverFred for the Allied Powder Coating referral. they are going to do my wheels for $75 a piece. that is huge considering i was previously quoted $230 a wheel... and was actually thinking about paying it.

thanks again... and i have yet to see your bucket cruising down Almeda. i'll keep my eyes peeled, although i have a feeling its not the blending in type.

 

You take away the Vette, and you still get the same guy with the same at***ude. It doesn't matter anyway.
I've seen some really nice Vettes in my life, and can't afford any of 'em.

 

Gold chain = *****

Rolex= ***hole

All that needs to be said.

 

i tell you what though, i saw one of these parked outside of Minute Made Park after a Stros game in the players lot, and i was awe struck.




you better be rolling some **** like this if you want to cop that at***ude.

 

Vette guy, explained.

Vette guy Typically has little to no Mechanical ap***ude (there are many exceptions to this rule, rest ***ured, however) and wants to go fast.

fast is good!

So vette guy begins looking into what is in his price range. See, Vette guy wants to go fast with air conditioning, and although the 70 Chevelle He saw for sale is tempting, It has no A/C.

There are many "fastish" cars in his price range, but that Red Corvette...it just screams "buy me!"

So Vette guy buys said Corvette.

On the ride home, Vette guy discovers that Said Vette is indeed quite fast. much faster than most everything else he p***es. It sounds good, too. Vette guy is pretty sure this will enhance his libido. The bald spot is also , oddly enough, no longer his major concern, as the new vette came with a s****y Hat that Says "corvette" right on it!

Surely, The budweiser Bikini team is preparing to parachute into his backyard as he is on the way home.

Vette guy is now "The king of the road." He is fully aware that he, of mighty Intellect, has purchased Masculinity and speed for the low,low price of a mere 750 dollars a month(with , of course, the trade in of that stupid Suburban he purchased. shame they wouldn't give him more than 2500 for it, as it was only 4 years old...) Vette guy is pretty sure that local traffic laws do not apply to him any longer, as his machine is vastly superior to all others. clearly, every other car avalible is junk.

Then it happens.
Vette guy spies an add for a local car show. It will, of course, allow for domestic performance vehicles. His vette, in al of it's glory, will surely be the toast of the show. Perhaps he can get the address mishap with the bikini team worked out while he is there.

But how will they know it is his car? How will he avoid dopplegangers?
Ureka! A windbreaker with "CORVETTE" on the back is just the ticket!

while driving to the show, he discovers that someone else purchased the 70 Chevelle. He sees him at a stop light, and smirks at the Chevelle's new Owner. The Chevelle owner, however, has been busy.

The chevelle owner then proceeds to show Vette guy the backside of his car between traffic lights.

Vette guy is in disbeleif. surely the fates are ruling against him. he Tries him again, and this time, Chevelle guy plays with him, allowing him to catch up, only to spank him a second time.

upon arrival to the show, Vette guy parks (logically) next to the longish line of other corvettes. They put them right by the gate! so everyone can see his machine first!
vette guy then has to walk 1/4 of a mile to the other cars.
Vette guy runs into Chevelle guy who holds up his hand and says "I know, I know...The restrictor, right?"
vette guy sees his out. "Yep, that dang 'ol restrictor. Gotta figure out how to get past it....."

Then Chevelle guy and Vette guy notice something ...odd.

The crowd seems to be stirring around a particular automobile.

it is OLD.
It is clearly quite slow. (the valves are in the block...how could it be fast?) it is chipped, cracked, and the left and right headlight buckets are, in fact, different colors. One is dark green, one is shiny black.

it is a 1932 Ford. What is the fasination with this car that looks as if it sat in a barn for the last 5 decades?

baffled, Vette guy looks on it dismay. clearly, these people are idiots.

Chevelle guy, however, walks up to the owner, and asks him when he is gonna put a small block in it and haul ***.

Vette guy then spies a different crowd, all of them are wearing windbreakers. all of the windbreakers say "CORVETTE" on the back.

He approaches them and says "what a buncha dumb****s!".
vette group shakes thier heads in total agreement.

Hot Rod guy tips back a cool gl*** of Iced Tea and tries to figure out what all the fuss is about.

 

I got a friend who owns a new Z-06 and he is cool as hell... On the other hand, he is 84 years old and lives in an "***isted living" community. He always wanted a sports car, but his wife would never let him have one. She p***ed away a couple years ago, so he used her life insurance $$ to buy a new 'vette. Sold the house, and moved into the retirement home.

He acts like a big kid. Got a permanent smile on his face, and is surrounded by single women.... Who could ask for more?

 

Got to agree with a lot of what has been said.
The new Corvette is "Your Father's Oldsmobile"
If I pull in and a group of Corvettes are around, I pull over with the
"other" cars. One will always say why di d you park over there?
"It's just an Old Chevy" is my reply.

 

awesome.

 

I knew there had to be some elitists in the car culture....now I know, it is the Vette guy..it's not the all steel guy, the Deuce guy, the resto guy with a 100 point car, the guy who bought at Barrett-Jackson, the Shelby Cobra guy.....it is the Vette guy...the ****ing Vette guy!..

 

Of course there are exceptions to every stereotype. But....ask anybody who ever worked a parts counter (like me for 16 years) and they will all agree that Corvette owners are THE biggest jerks. They come to your store (in a a car with bald tires) looking for driving gloves - leather, please! Thirty-five years ago my dirt-under-his-nails friend, John, joined the local Wash., D.C. Corvette club. He hated the helpless members but made lots of money doing overpriced tune-ups for them. They liked him because he was a "brother."

 

Holy **** I think you're talking about my neighbor...I honestly think the guy is retarded...I couldn't tell you why they are like that,but great observation..
Someone also brought up the "Mustang guy"..They also could be called "I have Flowmasters now my cars a racecar guy"

 

In socal we not only have the Vette Guy we have the BMW guy. If you dislike Vette Guy you will loathe BMW guy.

 

haha, driving gloves.

i saw this little Indian (dot not feather) guy in a Don Johnson Ferrari Testarossa yesterday on the way to work. he had his brief case in the p***enger seat, and was rocking his driving gloves.

like he needed them on his short commute to work simply because he was behind the wheel of that beast.

 

That's funny. Running a close second to Vette guy in my opinion is Restored Mopar Muscle car guy. Ever talk to those dudes longer than 2 minutes?

Brutal, simply brutal!

 

Aaaah, the "flowmasters on a totally stock car" guy. Usually 'stangs or camaro's... Now there's someone worth laughing about.

Laugh it up while we can guys... This thread will be shut down shortly.

 

I want a Vette. Specifically a 59/60. In fact, I was 2 years into the hunt for one I could afford when I gave up to build a hot rod. My next project will be the Vette or a 59 Impala.

I can appreciate the work that goes into most any car. It can be a total restoration, a lifted 4X4, a lowrider, whatever. But I agree with what someone said earlier about late model Corvettes at shows and cruises. Why lift the hood and put out the lawn chairs for a car that is totally stock and the only thing the owner has done to it is wash it? This goes for Vipers, Mustangs and any other stock late model. I don't get it.

 

I have an 81 Vette that I brought back from the dead. Its not perfect, never will be and when I was rebuilding the car I was told many times you cant do that its not correct -numbers matching etc.

Well I dont give a s**t - car snobs come in all flavors

However if I owned the 2006 Ford GT I saw yesterday I might be a snob.


Gary

 

Houston has a lot of BMW guys. they make me laugh.

especially entry level BMW guy, who rolls a 3 Series (chick car) but constantly voices that he drives a BMW. they always seem to find a reason to pull their keys out too, just to make sure you notice the logo on them.

 

this has always blown my mind, and i see it time and time again.

there used to be this guy that would show up at Texas Heatwave (sport truck show) every year with his bone stock Harley Edition F-150. he camped out in front of that ****er like it was Jay Larossa's truck, just begging for someone to stop and take a look.

i have also seen it with 96 Impala SS's, 454 SS pickups, new T-Birds, Prowlers and the list goes on.

 

sign me up for a cheap 63-67 Stingray fastback ,
Automatic and wrong motor OK

but I think I am a few years too late to find one for a decent price.....

Beaulieu

 

I think we've all met "Vette Guy". He is most certainly NOT related to anyone on the HAMB, except occasionally by marriage. "Vette Guy" syndrome is a condition not limited to owners of any particular automobile. It is often identified by the presence of a faux silk jacket with an embroidered image of "Vette Guy"s particular car, truck or motorcycle. "Vette Guy" is generally not interested in the car beyond it's image enhancing capabilities. "Vette Guy" is often accompanied by "Vette Gal". "Vette Gal" is easily identified because she is wearing a jacket that matches "Vette Guys". "Vette Gal" is often adorned with "vette" or "harley" or other transportation-shaped earrings. "Vette Guy" has a peculiar penchant for displaying his image vehicle with an oversized stuffed animal, usually dressed in a costume that clearly ***ociates said animal with "Vette Guy" and his image machine. "Vette Guy and Vette Gal" and their cousins, "Import Guy and Gal", "Harley Guy and Gal" etc. are examples of being WAY TOO into their image machine without ever getting the BIG IT.

"Vette Guy" is a good guy to buy stuff from when he decides to morph into some other lifestyle. He is usually harmless, often irritating, and generally has more money than sense - at least that's been my experience.

 

you hit that nail on the head!! My dad is a Vette guy of a different type, he cant give two ****s about numbers matching, date codes, chalk marks etc... He's had plenty and prefers to treat them the same way he did in the 60's as a car to be driven hard and beat on...

 

PERFECT!!!!!!

 

LOL

I remember when HRM put a Caddy 500 in one of these a few year ago...driver ended up next to the carb. That'd be fun!

 

God damn that is funny and right on. Bravo!

 

i agree with the Vette Guy thing... not only that but it seems like for the most part if you dont own a vette they stick their nose up at you.. and this is not saying everyone... i know a few people with vettes and they are really cool guys that just love corvettes... but there seems to be some kind a mentality for the rest of these *****s... at raceway park in oldbrige new jersey they have these corvette events... unfortunately i got to the track about 2 hours early one day to set up and stuff... once i was done i went out to the track and oh boy what a boring dreadful event that was... all these 65 year old guys with masking tape on the quarter panels doing 65 mph down the track please use the car for what it was made for put the petal to the metal!

 

Hum? I was just thinking Most of us seem to agree that its the "later model vette guy" that seem to be *****s....or can we just narrow it down to the "Correvete Club guy".....I just need the proper name cause I would like to point them out with my friends so we could have a good laugh at the car shows....