"Time Flies Like An Arrow, But Fruit Flies Like A Banana." "Upper Gain Stow Wall Moth Or Fug Her" "Forget The Flashlight. Help Me Find My Keys And We Can Both Drive Out Of Here."
when the going gets tuff the harder they fall your moma has goat tits Kaiser sosay!!!! Your moma kicks peaple with brass knuckles
How about: Well, I left Kentucky back in '49 An' went to Detroit workin' on a 'sembly line The first year they had me puttin' wheels on cadillacs Every day I'd watch them beauties roll by And sometimes I'd hang my head and cry 'Cause I always wanted me one that was long and black. One day I devised myself a plan That should be the envy of most any man I'd sneak it out of there in a lunchbox in my hand Now gettin' caught meant gettin' fired But I figured I'd have it all by the time I retired I'd have me a car worth at least a hundred grand. I'd get it one piece at a time And it wouldn't cost me a dime You'll know it's me when I come through your town I'm gonna ride around in style I'm gonna drive everybody wild 'Cause I'll have the only one there is a round. So the very next day when I punched in With my big lunchbox and with help from my friends I left that day with a lunch box full of gears Now, I never considered myself a thief GM wouldn't miss just one little piece Especially if I strung it out over several years. The first day I got me a fuel pump And the next day I got me an engine and a trunk Then I got me a transmission and all of the chrome The little things I could get in my big lunchbox Like nuts, an' bolts, and all four shocks But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's mobile home. Now, up to now my plan went all right 'Til we tried to put it all together one night And that's when we noticed that something was definitely wrong. The transmission was a '53 And the motor turned out to be a '73 And when we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone. So we drilled it out so that it would fit And with a little bit of help with an A-daptor kit We had that engine runnin' just like a song Now the headlight' was another sight We had two on the left and one on the right But when we pulled out the switch all three of 'em come on. The back end looked kinda funny too But we put it together and when we got thru Well, that's when we noticed that we only had one tail-fin About that time my wife walked out And I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts But she opened the door and said "Honey, take me for a spin." So we drove up town just to get the tags And I headed her right on down main drag I could hear everybody laughin' for blocks around But up there at the court house they didn't laugh 'Cause to type it up it took the whole staff And when they got through the title weighed sixty pounds. I got it one piece at a time And it didn't cost me a dime You'll know it's me when I come through your town I'm gonna ride around in style I'm gonna drive everybody wild 'Cause I'll have the only one there is around. Ugh! Yow, RED RYDER This is the COTTON MOUTH In the PSYCHO-BILLY CADILLAC Come on Huh, This is the COTTON MOUTH And negatory on the cost of this mow-chine there RED RYDER You might say I went right up to the factory And picked it up, it's cheaper that way Ugh!, what model is it? Well, its a 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59 automobile. Its a 60, 61, 62, 63... You can leave that last line off with all the years in it if its too long.
The Jalopy Journal
