my all time laugh your ass prank with the best bang for the buck. oragel in the straw. the victem wont't even be able to yell at you. their whole mouth goes numb. it is some funny shit.
Here's one my uncles used to pull. Take a purse, one you don't want back, and fill it with sh*t (your choice) Now leave it on the side of a well traveled road and find a location out of the way to watch. People will stop pick up the purse and get in the car, then you see it fly out the window a few yards later. Best to put a few things over the crap like a handkerchief or something...
Just did the ziptie around the driveshaft to a guy here at work. Holy crap was that funny! It worked better than I could imagine. He was sure he was looking at a high dollar repair bill.
I have had two jobs where we got to have fun, I worked at a junkyard where everybody was a joker, zip ties or hose clamps on drive shafts, old nasty grease under car door handles, hiding in yard cars under parts piles to scare guys, but two stand out. The yard had night security, and the guy had some nasty dogs who were locked up at night, but got out on occasion. I was working on pulling a rear axle, with my back to a chain link fence when the manager came running up to the fence barking and shaking the fence. I had been so into what I was doing I nearly shit myself. Also we used old pickup beds as dumpsters for recycling. One by the office was full of junk motors and other heavy parts. It was 4:30 on a friday, and we were in the office having a beer, as there were no customers left. The manager comes in and tells one of the guys that the owner called and said to go lock the back gate and we can all go home. Brian runs out the door and jumps into his yard car, which is parked up to the full pickup bed. Manager says "watch this". Brian throws the car into reverse, makes it about three feet, and the chain snaps tight. He didnt take it too well and kicked in the hubcaps on the manager's 65 Impala, but we all about died laughing.
At a chassis shop I worked at we had a row of frame jigs lined up, and the tig table was up against the wall. the Jigs had 2x4 rails, and we would cap them with duct tape, and fill the tube with oxy/acetylene and light it while the other guy was tig welding. allways good fun. I worked at a dealership where they had a buys body shop. The bodyshop had just hired a FNG who thought he knew everything. They had the kid block sanding, and told him they needed the "board stretcher" because his sanding block was too short. We had all been preped to send the kid on a chase through the entire dealership, untill the last guy he asked for it asked him what size "board stretcher" and told him what cabinet it was in. The kid pulled out two paint sticks wrapped with rubber bands, and took it back to the bodyshop manager ( who was NOT in on the prank) The manager told the clueless kid that it was the wrong size board stretcher, and sent him out again. After an entertaining day, the let the kind go the next day.
Mix green Gatorade with a little olive oil, pore it under your buddy's car when he is not looking, you got to do it just after park. Let your other buddys know what is going on so they can play along ....
I have masterminded a few and copped some as well. When I was a young soldier I was on my first exercise with an artillery unit. A few days in this HUGE gun bunny comes up to be and says, 'Doc, you gotta come look at this, it hurts to piss and somethings leaking out' All I could think was 'UGH!' but I took him around the front of a gun tractor where the cam net covers the front for privacy and he drops his strides. I'm in gloves (Two on each hand) and have a look. I was puzzled and told him theres nothing wrong with it. He smiled and said, 'Yeah but its a fuckin' beauty isn't it!' Doc.
I was a medic for an Army officer course once. When we went out bush the CO would take his Alice pack, fill it with water, rations and a radio and spend the whole time walking from platoon to platoon running everything on the net. Every now and then he would drop back in to the command post for rations and water. He would dump his pack and head into the comms tent. Me and one of the drivers would pull everything out of his pack and place a nice smooth river rock in the bottom. At the end of the Ex he was complaining about how old he was getting and how his pack felt like it was getting heavier! Unfortunately he dropped it as he was lifting it onto a truck, spilling the contents including 6 or 7 rocks! Man am I glad he had a sense of humor!!!
There was one young soldier with a shit box ricer. Had evert vent, wing, neon and sticker piece of crap all over it, even had a disco ball inside! His plates were 'Hi girls', so youknow what had to be done. Had fake ones made up that read 'Hi Boys' the fool drove around like that for a week!
Who here has been parachuting? One guy was pissing me off on the ride up to height, we did a 5way exit (the 5 of us holding on in formation) as soon as we were stable I dumped him out at like 9,000 ft. Its a long slow cold ride down from up there on a sports rig with like 290 sq ft of canopy! He could hardly walk when he got down!
When I worked at the Atlanta Airport, on the ramp, we'd watch Pilots lug they're crap down the jetway and head for the 'lounge'. A shortcut was going in the exit door which had no outside handle.They had disabled the exit alarm and pried a small lip of the metal door out at the top, so they could grab it and open the door- I made a magnetic base for an old doorknob and told my buddys to come watch. The first pilot thought it was funny when he yanked the doorknob off, but it eventually got thrown at all us 'ramprats', sitting on our tugs laughing like hell...
The grounds supervisor shared an office with me a couple years ago. He had an annoying hobby of cyber sexing women from yahoo games via IM. He was hopelessly addicted to the point of powering the server with a generator during an outage. So I signed him up for every "alternative lifestyle" personal I could. Every time he logged on to IM he got bombarded. He apparently never figured it out cause several people he was chatting with were not actual "women". It's been going on almost three years.
I used to work for a big grocery chain during my highschool and university days. Because, I'd been there a long time, I used to lock up. We had this new girl, nice looking, friendly, but dumb as a door knob. You had to explain to her how wash something down with a bucket and water. Well she'd finished and asked if there was anything else that needed to be done. We had a live tank with trout, so I told her we had to wash the fish. So she proceeded to take each fish out one by one, take them to the sink and run them under cold water and put them back in the tank. The store manager came around and asked me what the hell she was doing. I told him "she's washing the live trout". He took one look at me and her, smiled and started to break up. He went into our walk in cooler and completely lost it.
A favorite from work: Take an ice chest, a rubber rattlesnake and about 6" of fishing line. Put the snake and the fishing line on the lid and tell your buddies to get a soda. We rent construction equipment and one of our sales reps has been scaring people at jobsites for months.
on april fools day a friend at work always parked in the parking lot that abutted ours it was a ground round...(we have to park about a 1/4 mile down the street) they always told us we had to move our cars off the lot so we took his keys in his toolbox and moved his car down to our lot and i printed out a letter from the ground round saying we will tow your car if it is on our lot and passed it our to the other techs in the shop and everyone was in on the joke...he saw it and ran to get his car .....gone....he lost control and ran into the ground round and started yelling at the hostess you towed my car ..yelling and screaming and she said she would call the cops..then she figured out it was april fools day and he had a long walk of shame back to the dealer where everyone was laughing and crying....he never went to the ground round again
Had a guy we worked with that was a real loud mouth know it all, one day he called in sick. We seized the opportunity and drilled a small hole in his toolbox lid just big enough for the "straw" on a belt dressing can to fit through............... Belt dressing on metal tools doesn't look wet it's nearly invisible at a quick glance. Two cans in a standard Craftsman carrying box is quite effective. Had another guy that was always pulling pranks, greasing tools, phone recievers, etc. He was very fussy about his stuff and keeping his hands clean and always wore white cotton work gloves which he changed frequently to keep them clean. Every day at the same time he would head off for an extended bathroom trip. He had really been hassling this one girl and one day just as he left for his "visit" she came running across the department. He always took his gloves off, neatly folded them and put them in the top of his tool box. She took his gloves and carefully turned them inside out and painted them with a thin coat of bearing grease then turned them back right side out, refolded them and put them back in the exact spot he had left them. About 15 minutes later he came back pulled up one glove, unfolded it and stuffed his hand in. He immediately froze and the expression on his face was priceless, he looked like he had just fallen face first in a pile of cow shit. After a few seconds he pulled the glove off then started nodding his head and smiling. He finally yelled across to her, "You got me, THAT was a good one!" and never bothered her again, he also stuffed his gloves in his back pocket from then on. A friend of mine at the same shop was always pulling jokes on me, throwing hardware at me, etc. One day he carried a joke a little too far and pissed me off. Right at quitting time he was standing with one foot up on a stack of pallets and had some serious plumber's crack going on. I grabbed a big handful of #8 external tooth lock washers and filled the crack...... We were in tears watching him "walk" down the main aisle the 150 feet to the bathroom to try and clean them out, wish I had a video of it now. We had another guy that always set his lunch bucket on a metal bench right next to the door at quitting time and then he'd go clean up and get in line to punch out. He'd hit the door on a run and grab his bucket as he went by. One day while he was in the can the maintenance guys came by and welded it to the table on the back side. He came flying past and grabbed the handle, the top half came off in his hand and it spun him around and put him face first into the door frame! It didn't hurt him but it surprised the Hell out of him. He started carrying a plastic lunch box after that so one day they filled it with lead weights. The affect wasn't quite as dramatic but he still went through the door with just the handle in his hand.
A buddy of mine is a millwright. He had purchased a car that had a Masonic sticker aready on it. He went to a new jobsite and this guy starts asking him what lodge he goes to and so on. My buddy tells him he's not a mason and thats how he bought the car. This guys goes nuts and tells him he better take that sticker off if he knows whats good for him! My buddy gets pissed and won't take it off and gets hassled for weeks from this guy with constant little pranks. Finally, before break one day, this guy take my buddy's lunch box and welds it to a beam about 25ft. in the air. At lunch my buddy grabbed a cordless sawsall and cut the guys drive shaft in three pieces, and laid them on the hood of his truck with a note that said," Your move". He never messed with my buddy again. In the trades it's bad juju to f#ck with anyone's tools or their lunch!
roadtrip prank! it involves a sleeping shotgun passenger and some smooth driving but if you can pull it off, it's worth the effort. years ago, goin to denver i had a buddy sleepin in the passenger seat. i eased off as gently as i could into a truckstop and nosed up in front of an idling 18 wheeler..about 3 inches from his bumper...wait for it......rev the motor up to where it feels like you're still goin down the road and at the same instant let out a blood curdling scream!....i'll tell you this much, the fucker doesn't sleep in the car any more! i'm not sure he's forgiven me to this day but the look when he came awake to the nose of that peterbuilt was more than worth it.
I pulled that last one on MYSELF once! Got sleepy on a long roadtrip, pulled into a rest area and went to sleep in the back seat of the '48 Ford... Much later, something woke me and I peeked over the seat back just as the brakelights came on on the 18 wheeler parked about 18 inches in front of me... I actually SPRANG over the seat and smashed on the brakes before realizing the scene was a still-life...
a co-worker had his sandwich stolen from his lunch bucket SEVERAL TIMES, he'd complain AS WE SAT EATING TOGETHER. but of course no one knew who DID THE DEED! FINALLY he caught a big rat, cleaned and cooked it, brought it AS A SANDWICH in his lunch. sure enuff his sandwich was stolen. THIS TIME he let the crew know someone had enjoyed a fried rat sandwich! YUP, one feller got up from the crew and ran off ready-to-hurl! NEVER AGAIN DID HE HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIS SANDWICH DISAPPEARING! red ryder
The Jalopy Journal
